Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Delicate ❯ Losing Ground ( Chapter 14 )

Disclaimer: Lyn and Andrew and their beautiful family are mine, must have expressed written consent to use, fanfic or whatever. Dee and Ryo etc. are not mine. Don't sue, I'm poor ^_^;

 

Delicate:

Chapter Thirteen: Losing Ground

 

By:Irish

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Ryo knotted his tie with slow fingers. Normally it was a process he could whip through in a few seconds with out thought, but tonight... his fingers were slow. He wasn't sure why. Date three with Mary had been weeks ago. He had been nervous to the point of nausea that night. He wasn't sure he was ready for sex with someone else. He also thought, ethically, he should get tested for STIs. The very thought of that made his stomach turn. He had never been checked before, despite having had sex. They had used a condom, nothing weird had happened down below. `And that was with a woman' a nasty little voice whispered `everyone knows gay sex is dirty'.

 

He finally got his tie properly knotted, and instead stood, staring at himself in the mirror. `How can you possibly call what you had with Dee dirty?' he asked his reflection. Ryo had never met anyone, man or woman, as loving and loyal as Dee, complete and unconditional in his devotion. `Oh no, not unconditional. It was he who left you' Ryo glared at himself `after I broke his heart. Every day. For almost three years.' and yet, who had he called when he had broken down? And Dee had come. In spite of all of it... Dee had come to him, held him, loved him.

 

`You were in love with him. Were? Oh no, am. I am in love with him. So what the fuck am I doing here?' he shook his head, hugging himself with one arm, the tips of the fingers of his other hand resting in his forehead. `Anything... anyone... else will just be making due. I better be honest with myself on that up front.' It was true. He had known it from word go. He had know he had no feelings for Mary. In fact, he barely even liked her as a person. He couldn't do this to someone he cared about, play this game. The love would come, the attraction would come. He just had to be patient. Besides, the things about her that made him cringe were things he damn well ought to be paying lip service to. If he was going to play WASP, he was going to play it well.

 

He fixed his hair a bit, like it made any difference. They might as well have both signed the marriage contract anyway. Unless he made some huge misstep, this was in the bag. They were on date six. The way things had been progressing, tonight clothes were probably coming off. He wasn't nervous though. Not like he had been on date three. At this point, he didn't even care any more. He was pretty confident he could perform. He had done it before. He had managed during the making out, when her hands had started to wander on date five.

 

Taking a long deep breath, Ryo finally forced himself out of the bathroom. Bikky was at Dee's. He hated Mary. He hated Mary more then he pretended to hate Dee. He would learn too, though. Bikky needed a mother in his life. Maybe that would even out his behavior. Because everyone knew traditional families were the best... right?

 

He slipped on his black dress shoes, a tad worn, he wore them a lot, certainly not Gucci wing tips. Ryo smiled faintly to himself as he propped a foot up on the arm of the couch, licking his thumb and wiping a way a smudge. Definitely not Gucci. He was pretty sure he had gotten these at Marshel-Feilds. In fact, come to think of it, the slacks were from Dayton's, and the shirt might have been from, God forbid... J.C. Penny's. The tie was a gift from Elena. Black, with a very thin red stripe that sort of wrapped around the tie. It was silk. Dee had threatened to use it to tie him to the bed. `Silk, and boring, perfect erotic restraints.' He had grinned and winked. Not the obnoxious grin and wink that he gave the guys at the office when he was being smutty, the real one.

 

Car keys he grabbed from the kitchen counter as he headed out the door, locking it securely behind him. He had high end coffee, and extremely expensive brandy for later and he might well need both. Ryo sighed deeply, shaking his head. He took the stairs down to the ground level. He really was procrastinating... and he was going to be late.

 

Once in his Taurus, he took another deep breath, glancing at himself in the rear view mirror. He reminded himself about how the conversation with his aunt would go, had he stayed with Dee.

 

`Hello aunty, um, I do have a reason for calling actually. Yes, you see, I'm gay. Yup, queer faggot, that about sums it up. In fact I do like taking it up the ass aunty. Who am I with? Well, you remember my partner Dee, who you can't stand, and once compared to a gorilla... Why yes it is him. No, he still smokes... and drinks... and swears. And as of kinky anal sex this morning, he was, indeed, still a man...'

 

It was all the motivation he needed to pull out of his parking spot, and make tracks to Mary's apartment. It wasn't Mary's actually, nor was it an apartment. She had been sure to outline that very clearly. I t was her families `condo in the city'. Mary was there quite frequently. Every weekend in the last month, in fact. It had its own heated parking garage. And spa, and lord knew what else. Ryo had started to try and count the wooden panels of the restaurant wall just be hind her head at that point.

 

He parked, after being waved through by the lot attendant, dressed in full valet uniform, and took the elevator up to the twentieth floor, finding the door to Mary's condo no problem. He had been here enough... He knocked lightly, shaking out his limbs a moment before forcing a smile onto his face as the door was opened.

 

“Randy!” Mary beamed. “I was starting to worry.” She smoothed her hands over his chest, vaguely pretending to be smoothing his shirt.

 

“Sorry, didn't mean to worry you.” he checked his watch. He was five minutes late. Dee would have told him he was early. “Traffic, you know.” he chuckled dryly. “Are you ready?”

 

“Oh, not quite, just give me ten minutes, make yourself comfortable. There is spring water in the fridge.” She gave him another grin, before trotting back down the hall and out of his line of vision. Ryo had no clue what in the hell she needed another ten minutes for, and how he could be late when she wasn't even ready... but it was all part of the game. He had to remember to play by the rules. They always make you wait, and you had damned well better be early.

 

Ryo decided to skip the spring water in the fridge. He hated the kitchen here, though he had only been in it once. I had been like going into a hospital, nearly anispectically clean, shinny metal and tile. If the shelves were taken out of the fridge, he could have stood upright in it easily. Ryo knew he was-- not short, he refused to be short, and really, he wasn't. He just happened to be average, and all the men he knew happened to be tall. Reaching into the fridge, averagely heighten person that he was, made him nervous, as though some evil witch would come up from behind and shove him in and shut the door. Which was beyond childish, really.

 

He walked slowly through the living room to the large floor to ceiling windows that over looked the skyline. It wasn't the same angle that he gazed at, standing with Dee on that cold early spring night. `I guess this the part where I say I love you...' The relief and hope on Dee's face had been overwhelming, and Ryo remembered how his heart jolted when he realized what Dee must have been feeling, for so very long.

 

Ryo shook his head to clear it. Bikky said Dee had started school, gone back to college to get his Bachelors. Dee didn't need him, he would cope. A deep breath rose his shoulders, they lowered by degrees as he let it out slowly. Dee was gone. End of story. And he damned well better get his head out of yesterday.

 

“Randy?” Mary called, a smile in her voice as she came up behind him, caressing his shoulder. “Deep in thought?”

 

Ryo jumped a touch at the smooth hand on his dress shirt, no calluses to catch on the fabric. Nothing like Dee's hands. “Hmm? I guess I was.” He smiled a bit, then chuckled shaking his head. “I need to learn to leave work at work.” He lied.

 

“Hard case?” She cooed, moving to stand behind him, massaging his shoulders lightly. Really only making things more sore, not having strong enough hands to relieve and tension.

 

“Yeah its a-- you don't want to know.” he smiled, “No reason to upset you. Its gory.” he turned to her, taking her hands from his shoulders as he turned, drawing them around his neck and her closer to his body. “I have better things to think of now.”

 

Mary smiled, pleased. “We could stay in,” she suggested in a soft purring voice, her fingers caressing the short hairs at the base of his skull. It did make him shiver just a little, and he debated with himself as he lowered his hands to her hips. He knew what she meant, by staying in, and it had to happen eventually. He had been expecting it tonight, he reminded himself.

 

“We could,” He agreed. “I know a good chinese place that delivers. If you have some good wine?” He knew very well she did. Wine that cost more then what he made in a day.

 

“In fact I do.” She smiled, batting mascaraed lashes at him, pale blue eyes faking naiveté. “Although it is a shame that we got all glammed up just to stay in.”

 

God he hated this. He was so tempted to do what he knew Dee would tell him to do `Listen, if you want to fuck, lets fuck. If you don't want to fuck, then lets go out.' But no. They had to banter back and forth, she making the offer, then backing off when he accepted. Now, when he backed off, she would offer again. “That's true, you do look very nice indeed, I would hate to keep you all to myself.” Oh how he would hate that.

 

“Chinese does sound good though. Maybe you could teach me to use chopsticks? I never could get the hang of it.” More fluttering lashes.

 

Ryo smiled as he bit his tongue. `Just because I'm asian doesn't mean I know how to use chopsticks!'. Of course, he did know, but he had also lived in Japan for about three years when he was quite young. She didn't know that though. She only knew that his mother was Asian, probably not even what country. “Sounds like a plan. What would you like, any preferences?”

 

“Oh no, I am sure you would know much better then I. I'll go get the wine.” She gave him one more smiled as she leaned up and kissed him softly. Ryo kissed her back, watching her go.

 

`I'm Japanese you retard! Not Chinese! It is an entirely separate country!' He waited a few beats before walking to the phone next to the couch, he almost crouched down, flat footed to dial, but caught himself. Talk about a good way to stereotype yourself as Asian. He shook his head, instead sitting down on the edge of the couch. He had the number memorized. He and Bikky ate a lot of take out from there.

 

When he was done ordering he went to the kitchen to find Mary. She met him where carpet met tile, handing him a glass of dark wine. “How long do we have?” She asked him sweetly, laying a hand on his chest.

 

“Half an hour or so.” And he had no idea how to kill that time. He sure as hell wasn't going to be able to suggest watching the news. “Did I tell you Bikky made JV basket ball?” he asked with a smile, putting a light hand on the small of her back, guiding her back into the living room.

 

“Um, what kind of basketball?” She smiled, but this one was smaller as she sat down on the couch, just far enough away that they could face each other, a scant inch or so between their knees.

 

“Junior Varsity. He's only thirteen, and that's at the High School level, second string, but still. Most of the kids are like sixteen, so that's really pretty good.” Ryo smiled genuinely for the first time that night, he was really proud of Bikky, and Ryo encouraged his interest in sports. You had to have decent grades to stay on a team, only a C average. But it was a start.

 

“Ooh, right, junior varsity.” Mary nodded, tossing a sheaf of straight blonde hair over her shoulder. “Is that all he plays?”

 

“For right now. He's mentioned track come spring though. I think that it would be good for him, its not something he's quite as familiar with. It will move him out of his comfort zone a little, besides it will be great conditioning. The kids got paws like a great dane, but he's still pretty short compared to the guys on the team, so he needs to be fast to stay competitive.” Ryo hardly paused for breath, he had been really ecstatic for Bikky. “I'm hoping he'll do hurdles, if he has any skill for it, the agility he would hone... He might be looking at Varsity before he's even a freshman.”

 

“Right...” Mary nodded, blinking a little, eyes a tad glazed. “Um, that's great Randy. Have you talked to Richard Smith, didn't he used to play Basketball?”

 

Oh God, that had been ten going on fifteen years ago. High School. What did he care? For that matter, what did she care? “Uh, no I think he was on the wrestling team, and the last time I talked to him was...” he thought back, way back. “I ran into him once my sophomore year of college, when I was home for semester break.”

 

“Oh, really? Well, you know he just married Jenny Silverman. Do you remember her? She was the one who was dating Kenny Williams? Anyway, they got married just last year, and she just got pregnant. I was so happy for them, because you know her mom died just this summer...”

 

It was Ryo's turn for glazed eyes as she droned on about people that he had known in a different life time. No one he kept in touch with and not likely anyone he would care to talk to anyway, but they were all part of the WASP culture up state. Most of them fairly old money, families that had lived in that area for generations. Nothing that meant anything to Ryo. That was what it was all about though, the dish, the scoop, the skinny. Who was doing what that made that person just a little less then you in some way.

 

“I think Dean got ticketed for picking up a prostitute.” Ryo said with out thinking, remembering seeing the man in questions name on the blotter from the night before. It had been, probably months ago, but at the time it had given him a little chuckle. The prostitute in question was a shemale. He had pointed it out to Dee.

 

`He went to high school with me. He was always bragging about his sexploits and conquests. Now he's buying it from a tranny. I guess its petty of me... but damn.' he had had a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter, also feeling a little bad for the man. There were only two reasons men picked up trans gals, either because they were tapped and trannies were cheaper, or because they liked men but wanted to pretend they didn't.

 

The moment he saw the look on Mary's face though, the entire situation lost its humor for him. He hadn't meant to say it, really, it just slipped from his mouth, and now Mary looked like a cat who had spotted the canary.

 

“Oh my God!” she gasped, pretending to be horrified. “He didn't! Did you arrest him?”

 

“No, no, I don't work beat.” Although he did help with sting operations to catch johns, and more often, prostitutes, which was how Dean had gotten caught. He had no desire though, about discussing the one time he had tried to play the john. Dee had refused flat out.

 

`These girls aren't hurting anyone. Its bullshit that we bust their nuts, they are just trying to get by. Its the johns that go home to their wives and kids at night and are willing to pay desperate women. Bull shit. No way.'

 

Ryo had almost died on the spot, tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth when the woman had leaned in to the department car, her breasts practically falling out of her low cut shirt.

 

`Need directions sugar?' She had smelled cop on him after about three seconds and had walked away. Drake had laughed until he cried when Ryo came back to where they were watching from, face crimson. Dee hadn't laughed though.

 

`Its okay baby, she wasn't hurting no one. She's one of the ones we should be protecting, not arresting. Ignore Drake, he's a fuck.'

 

Mary had gone off on some tangent by the time Ryo remembered to pay attention. He had no idea what they were even talking about any more. he was saved from answering by the door though, and he leapt to his feet, realizing her hand was on his thigh. “Dinner.” he smiled, hastily moving to answer the door.

 

He paid the delivery guy, and he and Mary had sat down at the table, god forbid they do something as casual and romantic as sit at the coffee table, like he and Dee had so often. No, from now on, dinner would be formal. He tried to teach her to use chopsticks, but gave up when she obviously wasn't even trying, just using it as a flirting tactic. He tried to help her load the dishwasher, the maid wouldn't be in until monday, but she had shooed him out of the kitchen with his third glass of wine for the night.

 

By the time she joined him again on the couch, he had gotten down half the glass, having taken two long drinks of it, hoping it would go straight to his head... or really, he supposed, his crotch.

 

“You know Randy there is no reason to keep your shoes and tie on, you're not planning to dash off are you?” She leaned closer to him kneeling a little on the couch, starting to unknot his tie, smiling. Her pale dress wasn't low cut, but with her kneeling and leaning forward, he could easily see down it, no accident on her part. He tried to keep his eyes on her face, but that wasn't any better, when he looked up she was about three inches from his mouth.

 

Ryo was suddenly wishing he hadn't had so much wine. He couldn't leave now, unless he was walking. He was probably under the legal limit, but it didn't take much to effect him.

 

“No, I'm not intending to dash off.” he smiled, slipping off his shoes, nudging them out of the way with a foot. `Run away! For the love of god run away!' “Not at all.” He smiled again as she slowly dragged his tie from his collar, wrapping it around her hand and setting it on the coffee table.

 

“Good.” He had no choice but to look up as she put two fingers under his chin and raised his face to hers. “Is something wrong Randy?”

 

“No, no, not a thing.” God, if he didn't start taking charge here, she was going to think there was something wrong with him. “Just... not wanting to misinterpret.” He excused lamely. He didn't give her time to question as he leaned forward just a bit and met her lips, kissing her chastely at first, drawing her down onto his lap as he deepened the kiss, forcing his mind to blank, to not think about what was happening, just let his body do its thing and he would be fine.

 

The kissing heated, and Ryo let his shirt be unbuttoned, unzipping her dress, but only slipping it off one shoulder. He tried to be sensual, to make it more then just reflex. He wanted it to be something, to mean something. He would have given an awful lot as he carried her back to her bedroom for there to be some actual spark there, something to suggest that there was some attraction, some tenderness, anything.

 

There wasn't.

 

They used protection he had brought, though he saw she had a couple on her bedside table as well. He prayed he wasn't expect to use them all. He was lucky to be getting through this. He didn't remember climaxing, though he suppose he must have, because he found himself leaning heavily on his forearms, head down, panting, his hips still. He must have done all right by her too, she was stroking his back, and he could feel hot lines where her nails must have raked over his skin.

 

At least the condom was a good excuse not to linger over her. He escaped to the bathroom, whispering something, he didn't know what, probably `be right back baby'. Once the condom was disposed of, he cleaned up quickly, looking around in a vain hope that his disposed of clothing was somewhere near at hand, his boxers at least. He didn't want to get back into bed with her naked.

 

Of course there was nothing of his in the bathroom, there was no reason for there to be. He was pretty sure his shirt was in the hall, along with his belt, his pants and boxers had to be by the side of the bed. Left with no remaining options, he opened the door, shutting off the bathroom light, padding back to bed. She was sitting up, waiting for him.

 

“You were amazing.” She whispered, catching the back of his neck, pulling him down for a long lingering kiss, before she stood, taking the bed sheet she held over herself as she padded to the bathroom. She paused at the door. “Will you stay?”

 

`No! No! No!' “Of course.” he smiled, the brittleness of it hidden in the dark. When she had disappeared into the bathroom, he pulled on his boxers, plain black, then sat down on the edge of the bed, face in his hands. There was no turning back now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aurthur's Note: Don't kill me! Its my story so if you don't like it write your own :P. I've been holding on to this for a while, because its a tough chapter, but here it is.