Fan Fiction ❯ Around The Animation Horn ❯ Opening Day ( Chapter 1 )

AROUND THE ANIMATION HORN

A/N: Welcome to the premiere of Around the Animation Horn, where one day at a time, four contestants from USA animation will square off in a banterfest of last week's news. This is based on the ESPN original series Around the Horn, where four sportswriters from across the country duel off in the battle of all the news in sports. Whoever comes out on top will receive 15 seconds to say what they want about anything. It's all part of a 144 character participant contest. The winners of the first round receive $25,000. If they rank in the top 4 of the nine that won their day, they come back for a season final in front of a studio audience for a chance at $250,000. If they win that, they go against the winners of three other season finals to face off in the Grand Championship, $2,000,000 and the title of "The Greatest Argument in all of Ink and Paint." So sit back and get ready for the cast of our first day with USA animation! I own nothing at all.

Day 1: Opening Day (Recorded April 14, 2003)

(we're on the air)

Artemis Read: These four things I know are true! Though it wasn't popular, Roy Williams made the right decision. Though he wasn't popular, Saddam Hussein might have finally gotten what he deserved. Though she wasn't popular, you have to admit Martha Burk can draw a very diverse crowd.

Voice Over: Yeah a crowd full of freaks. What's next? A Martha Burk impersonator at a Hootie Johnson press conference?

Read (ignoring that statement): I'm Arthur Read welcoming you Around the Animation Horn!

(intro plays)

Voice Over: It's Around the animation Horn, the show of competitive banter. Here's Artemis Read!

Read: Welcome to the ongoing argument where we don't hold grudges, but I keep score. Very quickly, let's introduce our panel of four animation characters from across this great country. And here they are. First, I hope you don't have a cow with this character, because millions around the world don't. From the hit television series "The Simpsons", please give it up for Bart Simpson.

Simpson: And it's "Don't have a cow, man."

Read: Don't correct your elders, son. From the classic Warner Bros./Looney Tunes shorts, I'm thinking he needs to go to therapy for this or just find another hobby. Yes, I'm talking about the one that always tries to get that `wascally wabbit' Elmer Fudd.

Fudd: Hello. Heh heh heh heh heh.

Read: I always thought that laugh was a little bit disturbing. From the classic Disney shorts, we have a duck that no one can really understand. From Walt Disney to Michael Eisner, he has held up to the challenges of animated shorts and has stayed a true original throughout. So let's all welcome Donald Duck to the mix. (waits for comment) Not going to say anything, huh? Finally, we welcome a newcomer to the mix. He made his debut nearly three years ago, but has had a permanent Cartoon Network series since December of 2002. From `Codename: Kids Next Door' welcome leader Nigel Uno, or to put it simply, he's Numbah 1!

Uno: And I'm here to make everyone a believer. Kids make a difference no matter what and no matter where.

Read: And you have to love that British accent. There is no getting past is all-apparent appeal. All right. This is the show that scores the argument, and here's how I do it, with these joysticks and MUTE buttons.

For the first two rounds, scoring will be based on point of view, style and information.

O.K. answers get one point

Good answers get two points

Great answers get three points

The MUTE button (deduction of five points) is used to penalize and direct traffic during arguments.

We eliminate panelists in the second and fourth rounds so a one on one showdown determines the winner. Let's make it happen!

Voice Over: It's the Opening Remarks!

Read: Here is another update on Operation: Iraqi Freedom. Allied troops began the liberation of Iraq as they went through Baghdad last week. Some key targets that were believed to contain Saddam Hussein were bombed. No word yet on whether Saddam is dead or alive. Officially, Iraq is no longer in the control of Saddam Hussein and his sons. The good news is felt throughout as Iraqis topple down statues of their former leader. The Allies will head to Tikrit, next. But as that continues, Syria has thrown its name into the proverbial hat in the list of those potential Axes of Evil countries. Even more good news came in as those seven former Prisoners of War (POW's) have been freed and are back on the side of the U.S. Here's the question. Has this war been a success throughout? Around the horn we go to Elmer Fudd.

Fudd: The President outlined from the very beginning that this war would have some casualties. He also outlined the fact that there would possibly be some missing in action. (two points; at 2) considering that, this war has been a great success. We have officially liberated the state of Iraq, (three points; at 5) and more people continue to support efforts every day of the war.

Uno: First… I want to say it is great to have the former prisoners of war back in the hands of the US military. And I'd like to say that the warpath has been a rocky one at that. (two points; at 2) We begin our attack just south of Baghdad, otherwise known as Sunni country. Then we move ahead towards Baghdad where the majority of the Shiites live. And then we continue on into… (MUTE; back to -3)

Read: Was there a point to anything you said, Numbah 1? Let's go, Bart.

Simpson: Well, of course the war has been a success. We find that Iraq had holding areas for chemical weapons. It seems they might have been experimenting with the possibilities of putting a nuclear plant somewhere. (three points; at 3) But he thing I don't understand is Saddam said that his military was dedicated to making the US military crumble. (three points; at 6) But the only thing I've seen happen is (Bart holds both arms up in the air) this. (two points; at 8)

Donald (in his vernacular): If you go back to September of 2002, President Bush made his first move in eventual war with Iraq. He said that there were weapons capable of mass destruction and weeks into this war we find out he was right. This shoots down any doubt that Bush had planned this war to exact revenge for his father. (three points; at 3) So anyone at the UN, which includes France and Germany, can take this to the grave, because war efforts have been a success.

Uno: Yes, but we continue to mention…

Donald (continuing): I'm sure France feels embarrassed right about now. (two points; at 5)

Uno: We continue to mention France trying to find a way to make things better in Iraq without war efforts. But no one could stop or would stop the United States while they were on a warpath. The logical ebb and flow said that Iraq had been harboring terrorism for years with few interruptions from outside forces. (three points; at 0) We come to find weapons of the sort. But we still have people killed. Those that are innocent and those that are not. (two points; at 2) Though I understand that this is the type of action that goes into a war, it doesn't mean its isn't unfortunate. (two points; at 4)

Read: You sure talked your way out of a hole. Anyone else?

Donald: Here's another bit of information…

Simpson (interrupting): Numbah 1 has to consider that fact that…(MUTE; back to 3)

Read: Go on, Donald.

Donald: Syria would like to make their point known to the United States and the rest of the world. While we are occupied in the liberating of Iraq, they want to take advantage of us. And I can remember one time where we, as a nation were taken advantage of and that's 9/11. (three points; at 8) We will not settle for anyone making a move while we make progress. This type of behavior will be stopped even if we have to liberate Syria. (one point; at 9)

Read (low-key): Not bad. Not bad.

Fudd: You guys keep forgetting that Saddam might be dead because of the battles in Baghdad. The toppling of his statues means the toppling of an empire and the evil that went along with it. (two points; at 7) This is an awesome development and one that deserves even more attention.

(horn blares)

Read: Bart, you have the last word.

Simpson: This war is a success because of those passionate men and women that are risking their lives for us. They are making the ultimate sacrifice and we love and respect them for it. (three points; at 6)

Read: For those that didn't hear, that was the horn. Next topic! Basketball superstar Michael Jordan will make his final start of his illustrious career on Wednesday against the Philadelphia 76ers. Obviously, this marks the end of a great era in basketball, but I want to know, has playing the last two years in Washington tarnished an otherwise awesome career? Around the horn we go to Bart Simpson.

Simpson: No way, man. Michael Jordan will still be remembered for all the things he contributed to the sport. Dedicating his entire life to a game he has loved from the very beginning. (three points; at 9) The only thing I regret is not seeing Jordan play out his years consecutively with the Chicago Bulls and playing baseball was also a downer moment. But when I look at him, I still remember the shaven head and the one hoop earring. (two points; at 11) An awesome marketing image through and through.

Read: Yeah, but he didn't always have a shaved head. (one point off Simpson's score; back to 10)

Donald: Yes, but I'll tell you one thing he has had and that is the support of the crowd and fans throughout his career. He is one of those gems in professional sports that we grew to like from his days with Dean Smith in North Carolina (two points; at 11) to being in Chicago. He goes from being in the head offices for the Wizards to playing for the Wizards and getting approached with more offers from head offices. Give this guy a chance as head of a major branch in the NBA and he will turn heads. (two points; at 13)

Read: Yeah, considering how the NBA is down in sales of tickets, TV ratings and the like, he could shake things up considerably.

Fudd: I have no doubt that putting Jordan in a head office would help things in the NBA, but if you had the greatest player in your league run things, he would know what the people want to see because he spends much of that time working with people. (three points; at 10) I don't know what the NBA will do if it doesn't have its star, but I doubt he will be working for the NBA if he wants to keep his marriage stable. But no matter what, he will always be MJ. I'm just glad I got the pleasure to work with the man.

Donald: Without a doubt, the greatest moment of Michael Jordan's playing career had to be 1990 against the Cleveland Cavaliers, who will be glad to see him go, because he always would find a way to beat them at the last second. When Craig Eilo tried to block a last second shot by Michael, he ended up making it and capping a 69-point game, the best in his career. (three points; 16) And I will always remember him for being able to pull off last second heroics.

Read: You know, that's a good idea. I want to hear from the panelists their favorite Michael Jordan moment be it on or off court. We'll start with Numbah 1, because I have yet to hear his opinion.

Uno: If Michael wouldn't have signed onto the farfetched idea that he had to return to the game to fulfill some idea that he feels is living and breathing inside of him. Well, to put it simply, I just didn't get the point of this comeback. (MUTE; back to -1)

Read: You must be a big time sadist. I really don't care why Michael is playing, just as long as he is playing. Elmer, why don't you fill our minds with some constructive moments of Michael Jordan's career?

Fudd: In 1998 of what would have been his last game if he didn't make hi return. Granted, I was a fan of the comeback, but that last shot at the end of the fourth quarter when Michael has that shot and the stance (trying to imitate the stance) against Byron Russell of the Utah Jazz in the NBA finals. (three points; at 13) It was pure money and would have been a great way to end a career.

Simpson: you have to go back to 1982 and the moment that made him Mr. Clutch, next to Jerry West, of course. (three points; at 14) But in 1982, we were all treated to a preview of what would be the man, the myth, and the legend Michael Jordan. As he made that final clutch shot that sealed the deal against Georgetown and John Thompson. It was pure MJ in his purest form.

(horn blares)

Read: Numbah 1, I will give you one more chance.

Numbah 1 is seen sporting an `Arthur Adventure' series hat and is pointing at the logo.

Read: No, I can't give you points for… all right. (Read is more than generous to Numbah 1 and gives him 10 points (the equivalent of two MUTE buttons) sending him to 9 for the round. The other panelists show more than displeased remarks.) Those were the Opening Remarks. Our next round is Proper Sendoff, and it's next!

After Round one, the scores are:

Bart Simpson: 14 points

Elmer Fudd: 13 points

Donald Duck: 16 points

Numbah 1 (Nigel Uno): 9 points

(commercial break)

(we're back on the air)

Voice Over: It's time for our Proper Sendoffs!

Arthur Read: Where we must continue to keep it moving. First topic! The Syracuse Orangemen were winners by three over the Kansas Jayhawks. It seems like after the fact, Roy Williams is going to leave his team for UNC and Carmelo Anthony is heading for NBA glory. So considering Roy Williams and Carmelo Anthony, respectively, how should we give them their proper sendoff, Bart?

Simpson: The sendoff for Roy should go like this. It was nice while it lasted, but you never really won anything outside of the Big XII, so we at Kansas have to feel just a little bit happy that we get some new blood. (one point; at 15) And the sendoff for Carmelo should be, we really were hoping you could stay for some more championships, but were sure whatever team you go to you will make an impact of sorts. Let's face it we've had our coach for 27 years and its only now he wins a National Championship. (three points; at 18) You're awesome.

Fudd: For Roy Williams, I don't give a (horn honks) whether you leave or not. (three points; at 16) You never were able to get us to the top, so I hope you like sucking up to your former boss at North Carolina. And for Carmelo, I am really glad that you didn't decide to pull a LeBron James on us and hop, skip, leap to the NBA. That's where you belong and I have no regrets.

Donald: To Roy: You didn't do squat for us the fifteen years you were here, therefore, don't let the door hit you where the sun don't shine. (two points; at 18) To Carmelo: I really think that if you were going to stay here for one year, you should have at least accomplished what everyone sets out to do. You've won your championship, so take your talent to a place where it can really be developed, the NBA. (two points; at 20)

Uno: Roy Williams, you should have stayed here in Kansas than try to prove yourself elsewhere. We still love you, I think (three points; at 12) so why not stay with the superpower you helped create. It is looking very bland. (two points; at 14) As for Carmelo Anthony, I think that you would be a powerhouse if you stayed the entire four years, but I don't want to hold you back too long from your ultimate goal. That is the same thing that happened to Jay Williams of the Chicago Bulls. (three points; at 17)

Read: Yes, if the kid has talent, it would be wrong to hold him to yourself just to win championship after championship. If the program you have isn't working at the school you're at, move somewhere else and try to get some new blood in your projects. Next topic! Speaking of the Chicago Bulls, general manager Jerry Krause has resigned his post, citing health concerns as his reason for leaving. Krause has not had many fans in the Chicago organization since he takes primary credit for the six championships, alienated Coach Phil Jackson, star player Michael Jordan and the real reason for any title, the fans. So, what would a proper sendoff for Krause sound like, Elmer?

Fudd: Nah na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, Good Bye! (three points; at 19)

Read (holding back laughter): Donald?

Donald: Good riddance! You never did anything for this team except sit on your fat, lazy, ugly, diseased behind and watch as you slowly began to look like Donald Sterling. (three points; at 23) This is a very productive loss for the team.

Uno: Absolutely right, Donald. Once Jerry Krause's ego got bigger than his wallet, that was when everything seemed to come crashing down. Jackson and Pippen leave. Jordan retires for the second time. (two points; at 19) You can literally beat this thing to death. The Bulls actually have great high school players in Tyson Chandler and Eddie Curry, but Jerry Reinsdorf needs help in some big time NBA name to turn this franchise around. (three points; at 22)

Read: Word up. Bart?

Simpson: I think Jerry Krause was on my show once… (MUTE; back to 13)

Read: I keep telling people that is one crazy kid. I tell them all to stick to the opinions and only the opinions. Next topic! NBA commissioner David Stern might pull the plug on the WNBA on April 18 if they are not able to come to order on labor disputes. Attendance, ratings and sales are down overall for the WNBA, so if they do fold, what would be a proper sendoff by Stern, Donald?

Donald (as David Stern): It was nice having you here. I may have never made a single dime off you, but I got several young girls hopes up thinking they could play professionally, too. (two points; at 25) Am I heartless giving you this ultimatum? By no means. I just want things I'm involved in to be rock steady.

Uno (as David Stern): I just want to say that everyone involved in the league formerly known as the WNBA is qualified to be my personal secretary. The only limitation is that you must beat the best player in the NBA in a game of `21'. No game win, no secretary job. It's the least I can do. (three points; at 25)

Simpson: I just want to know why you gave me a MUTE.

Read: Jerry Krause scares me, and the thought of him on your show scared me.

Simpson (sighs): Whatever, man. (as David Stern) And here I was thinking women could solve their problems through talking. (three points; at 16) But it turns out that talking has got you into the hole you are in now. (three points; at 19) But in actuality, all of you are lucky. I could have pulled the plug on this series at any time (three points; at 22) but I stuck with it, because I know the female market for the NBA is important, as well.

Fudd (as David Stern): Maybe you should just find someone else to make a women's basketball league for you all to play in (two points; at 21) and perhaps settle this feud with money.

Read: All right. Next topic! It seems that Martha Burk is able to get a diverse crowd, just not much of a crowd. She claimed that she would have a large crowd to protest outside of the main gate of Augusta National, but there was only a crowd of 43 and they protested a half a mile from the gate. If you were Hootie Johnson, what would you say to Martha after this embarrassing display, Numbah 1?

Uno: I rr-eee-alll-yy b-beliv-e-e-e-e that M-ar-ar-arth-a-a-a has fi-n-n-n-n-al-al-aly met her m-m-m-competition. (three points; at 28) Hootie… is… in… charge.

Simpson: Martha, you really had to connect getting a female player into the Masters golf club with Operation: Iraqi Freedom. Now it's time for plan B: have sex with Hootie to get female players in. (three points; at 25)

Fudd: Martha is finished, but the movement to get a female player into the golf club is not. (two points; at 23) Just make sure that Martha Burk and Hootie Johnson can settle this like southerners. (one point; at 24)

Donald: Maybe Hootie can drop dead this second and watch his position change. But then again, he won't be able to because, well the man is dead. (three points; at 28)

(horn blares)

Read: The horn means elimination time, and it's time to bid adieu to Elmer Fudd.

All the players are coming via satellite, so we simply remove Elmer's image and replace it with his silhouette.

Read: We'll play a game of Foursquare, next!

(commercial break)

(we're back on the air)

Voice Over: This is Around the Animation Horn, where after two rounds, here's how they stand:

Bart Simpson has 25

Donald Duck has 28

Nigel Uno has 28

And Elmer Fudd couldn't wait to get rid of the dust bunnies for spring-cleaning.

And now… it's time for Foursquare!

Arthur Read: Foursquare is the game where we take the top 4 from any subject and rank them based on our opinions. Whoever I thought gave the best argument receives the lion's share of four points squared. (16 points)

First place: 9 points

Second place: 5 points

Third place: 2 points

Read; All right, gang. We are getting close to May sweeps and only the best of the new shows on TV can survive to be a part of it. What I have are four primetime shows that went from September to now without getting the boot.

Topics for Foursquare:

Life with Bonnie

CSI: Miami

John Doe

Good Morning, Miami

Read: I want the three of you to take 20 seconds each, that's 60 seconds in all, to argue for or against the shows. We'll begin with the panelist with the least number of points and go around the horn from there until time runs out. This means that Bart Simpson will begin our argument right now.

Simpson: If you're smart, you will go with the show that did the best in the ratings and that would be CSI: Miami. No one takes ABC and Life with Bonnie seriously like in the past. People only go to FOX to watch The Simpsons and all the ratings for News Corp. go to American Idol, nowadays. Finally, we have NBC trying to capitalize on the former success of Newsradio with another zany cast of working misfits. I personally think Scrubs is better, man.

Donald: Ratings don't necessarily mean that people like a show. I found John Doe to be a very poignant drama with a mysterious occult. Good Morning, Miami was the first time I ever saw a nun doing the weather and an image that will be scorched onto my retinas. CSI: Miami was good, but no spin-off can ever replace the original, I don't care how good it is.

Uno: Donald is correct, but I felt that ABC did at least treat Life with Bonnie well. You have to look at all these shows and consider what the networks could have done to them. Changing time slots would have been near suicide and I feel that Life with Bonnie was the overall better show. But considering how bad a night Tuesday is for TV, it will continue to forge onward.

(horn blares)

Read: Bart is going to say that Scrubs is better and also go with the ratings over what was really better. But Donald went too short with his and Numbah 1 really showed us which is better. (After game 1 of Foursquare, Numbah 1 is in the lead with 37, and Bart and Donald are toed with 30) Now it's time for our second game of Foursquare. As you all know, the 30th Annual Daytime Emmys will be given out Friday May 16 at 8pm on ABC. Here is a list of four notable nominees for animated programs.

Topics for Foursquare:

Arthur

Clifford: The Big Red Dog

Kim Possible

Sesame Street

Read: In 20 seconds, tell me what you think of these shows and their effect. We'll begin with the player that has the highest score and that would be Numbah 1. So, if you're ready, let's go.

Uno: The only program out of the bunch that has been in existence for over 30 years and that has to be Sesame Street. Though several others and myself have gripes about the program and much of children's TV in general being dumbed down for a supposedly dumber audience of kids. However, it would be stereotypical to say that Arthur was dumbed down, because I know some college kids that learn from the aardvark.

Simpson: The thing about it is that long before the series, Clifford: The Big Red Dog was a successful book series. That is almost the complete opposite of the Arthur Adventure books, which sold like hotcakes only after the series came to the airwaves. Sesame Street is pure nostalgia that cannot be replaced no matter what. And I mean no disrespect to Disney, but stop trying to feed us depressants through the airwaves like Kim Possible.

Donald: Uh, don't really expect me to support Kim Possible on this one. The show tries too hard. You sit there wondering what off the wall thing will happen next, and then you end up disappointed when the last few minutes showcase Kim not being able to show face when Brick comes within a 10-foot radius of her. Other than that, I have no complaints. If you can deliver the heat, you can take it as well.

(horn blares)

Read: I have no idea what the last thing you said meant with a blabbermouth duck behind that bill. But I do know you delivered some style, but were showed up just a little bit in some parts. I wish I could give you all the maximum number of points, but there has to be some middle ground with this show. There are your points and there goes the Foursquare round. So since I've filled your mind with useless information, I think it will be time to take a Pop Quiz and soon!

After Foursquare, the scores are:

Bart Simpson: 32 points

Donald Duck: 39 points

Numbah 1 (Nigel Uno): 42 points

(commercial break)

(we're back on the air)

Voice Over: It's time for a Pop Quiz!

Arthur Read: I'll ask each panelist two questions related to material seen on this show. Four points each will be awarded for answering questions right, but if you so happen to answer both questions wrong, you will be given a MUTE and a deduction of five points. We move to Bart Simpson, who must get at least one question right and hope one of his rivals gets both questions wrong to just stay in this game. Your first question is, what is the capital of Syria?

Simpson: Is it Tehran?

(buzzer sounds)

Read: The answer is Damascus, Syria. Damascus is the correct answer. Your second question, to even have a ghost of a chance of making it to the finals is which actor plays the starring role in CSI?

Simpson: The Miami version?

Read: No, the regular CSI in Las Vegas.

Simpson: That would be…William Peterson.

(fanfare sounds)

Read: And that makes Bart Simpson's final score a 36. It would take a miracle for him to get to the final round. And that leaves us to Donald Duck with 39 points. Your question is, besides his Air Jordan shoes and NBA uniform, what does Michael Jordan wear every game for good luck?

Donald (contemplating): I know this one.

Read (with slight arrogance): Then answer it.

Donald: His North Carolina jersey and shorts.

(fanfare sounds)

Read: Your second question to give you 47 points is, what former TV producer is making plans to build the 30th NBA franchise in Charlotte? I'll give you a little hint for this. He is the founder of the BET television network.

Donald (sounding confident): Don Cornelius.

(buzzer sounds)

Read: Ooh, sorry Donald. I wish I could give you half points for that, but the correct answer is Don Johnson. That brings Donald Duck's final score to 43. Now for Nigel Uno a.k.a. Numbah 1, who has put on a thrilling performance since after the first round. Your first question is, who was Roy Williams talking too when he dropped his S-Bomb on national TV? The only thing I'll tell you is it wasn't me.

Uno: Was he talking to Cheryl Miller?

(buzzer sounds)

Read: Actually, he was talking to another female the likes of Bonnie Bernstein. Your final question is, during the first four years of the WNBA, which team won the title four years in a row?

Uno (carefree): Easy one. The Houston Comets.

(fanfare sounds)

Read: That sends Numbah 1's finals score to 46 and… (he sees Bart Simpson sporting an `Arthur Adventure' hat like Numbah 1 earlier on.) No Bart. It's not going to work this time. It's too late in the game and your game is nothing but shame.

Bart gets the same treatment as Elmer, when his fiberoptic screen goes blank leaving his silhouette with a white outline.

Read: Just another pretender to the throne of those that came before him. Not able to make it to the Final Showdown, which is next!

(commercial break)

(we're back on the air)

Voice Over: It's time for the Final Showdown!

Arthur Read: this is important, because we have taken all the points out of the equation. The winner, no matter what, will be decided on this one question coming to us from our announcer, the Voice Over.

Voice Over: That's my name. Don't wear it out.

Read: What will be the deciding factor in this final test?

Voice Over: We will break down the actual game that went down in Augusta National. It's the great Commander versus an everyday quack. Make it happen!

Read: As we shall. Mike Weir won the Masters on a playoff between Len Mattice. Weir finished with a seven under par, while Tiger Woods finished with a two over for the tournament. It was a truly lackluster performance by the three-time champion. (1997, 2001, 2002) So, putting all Martha Burk antics aside, was this a fine showing by Augusta National? Thirty seconds each, for all the marbles. Donald, take it.

Donald: It takes a lot of heart to play when you are sick and when it's raining like Tiger Woods in the last tournament before the Masters. But when you have so much pressure on you to become a three-time defending champion, you are expected to find a breaking point without looking for one. I commend guys like Tiger and Phil Mickelson for staying in there, even when their luck has run dry. They are the finest representations the sport has to offer, but it was Mike Weir's day and just as easily could have been Len Mattice's day, as well.

Uno: Let me break it down simply. Darren Clarke appeared to be on his way to tournament domination up until about the final day. Then, the baton is passed in the direction of Len Mattice and Mike Weir. Tiger Woods was never in the winner's limelight until possibly the end of Saturday, when people expected him to make a big charge to the front of the field. That is the situation people expected to happen, but didn't get the pleasure to see. So instead, we get treated to a playoff that is about as unheard of in the major tournaments as an overtime penalty shot in the playoffs or in general. With that said, the weekend was how they say it, the bomb?

(horn blares)

Read: It's `da bomb', but you set everything straight as an arrow. The winner of day 1 is Numbah 1!

(fanfare sounds)

Read: It's just a play on words. You've got 15 seconds and they begin right now.

Nigel Uno: The attention that LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony get cannot do enough justice to the ability of Lew Alcindor, Bill Walton, Earvin `Magic' Johnson and others. We must remember that our great players of that era were great players in high school as well. But blame that on an ever-changing media and call me in the morning.

Elmer and Bart reassume their places on the fiberoptic screens.

(horn blares)

Read: All right. That's going to do it for us, folks. Join us next week when we will have Fred Flintstone, Daffy Duck, Bobby Hill and Penny Proud. For our cast, panel and crew, this is emcee Artemis Read thanking you for stopping Around the Animation Horn!

(we're off the air)

Please review for Day 2: It has become too common, too lately.