Fan Fiction ❯ Black Orchid ❯ An Old Man in the Queen's Court ( Chapter 9 )

Fuhgeddaboutit: Ah ha! Wonderland/Carroll land! So happy! The chapters there can be confusing, but then again, Lewis was a druggee. I'm not, but then again. I'm insane. For the disclaiming record, I don't own anything KH, FF, or any of Lewis Carroll's poems. If you did as suggested, and read Jabberwocky, or have a copy open as you read, you'll notice where I quote it. Thanks to my reviewers: HisLight and ChaosT. To ChaosT: sorry, even though I will have some new spells, (bio, terror, holy, flare) Sora probably won't use them, and won't get any butt kicking time until Hollow Bastion. But then, it'll be the biggest butt kicking round ever. Oh, ho, it'll be such a cool fight. But between who? Well Sora obviously, and Orchid has to be there, being the main character. But who else? **SquallCOUGHCOUGHrikuCOUGHCOUGH** Oh yeah, I've got almost the entire out line planned out, including the junk at the end of the world. It's gonna be a full out war against the Heartless. Everyone's gonna be there. EVERYONE. Except some people. As I stated before in Chap1, Ansem is a mere shade of nothing. That was his only appearance. But there's gonna be something related to him. On a (un?)related topic, who was the one who whispered to Orchid after the Guard Armor fight? Mysterious…R&R!

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'Twas brillig and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogroves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

* * *

"We've been in these woods for hours and found nothing but Heartless," muttered Arc, swinging his stone hand impatiently and dangerously. They were currently making their way through an extensive forest that seemed to consist of giant mushrooms, towering lily pad trees, and story high grass. The strangest thing, though, was the fact that if they headed far enough in one direction, they encountered the edge of the forest. It's not that it cleared out into open land. It's that the forest stopped being relatively real, and started being a painting on a wall. They had encountered the edge, or edges, they couldn't tell, several times. They now wandered aimlessly, unable to call the gummi ship to pick them up, and unable to find an exit.

"They've gotten stronger, kupo," commented Montblanc. "Now they have fire and ice mages. Red Nocturne and Blue Rhapsody if I remember Sora's story."

"Not that it matters," said Orchid, looking around, quite bored of the childlike scenery. "Whatever the name, they're still Heartless."

"Now, now," said a voice, causing them all to pause and look around cautiously, "That was quite a heartless thing to say of them, don't you think?"

A wide grin appeared above a stone a few feet in front of the trio. It was followed by a pair of smiling cat eyes.

"What are you?" asked Orchid in shock. The grin and eyes soon found themselves on a cat's head. "Who are you?"

"I," stated the head, soon seated on a plump, purple and pink striped furry body, "am known as the Cheshire Cat. Didn't you know?"

"If we did, why would she ask?" said Arc flatly, clearly not amused.

"Now why would I know?" replied the Cheshire Cat, lounging around lazily. "You should ask her. She asked."

"You're not making any sense!" said Orchid, flustered.

"Of course not," replied the cat, lying on his back, though his head was still right side up. "I don't get paid at all."

"What? Where did that come from?" asked Orchid, utterly confused.

"My mouth, of course. You seem to talk from one too."

"Can you say a single straight answer?" yelled Arc, getting frustrated.

"Oh, no," replied the cat, rolling back and forth on the stone, while keeping his head completely level. "I'm afraid my words go in waves like most sound, not lines."

Arc was just about to attack the reclining cat, when he heard a chuckle. Then another. He and Orchid turned to see Montblanc, his hand over his mouth, shaking with mirth, his antenna pompom looking right about to fall off.

"What?" asked Arc, still frustrated.

"Yeah, what's so funny?" demanded Orchid.

"He has the only blade that grows sharper with age," chortled Montblanc.

"En garde! Your wit is sharp too!" exclaimed the cat, righting itself into a sit. "But enough of this play, for I come for a reason."

"And what might that be," asked Arc, still not pleased with the cat.

"A message, or warning, or at least instruction," said the Cheshire Cat. "If you want out of these woods, I suggest you follow the rabbit, though you never know what happens when you follow rabbits."

"What rabbit?" asked Orchid.

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" said a furry white rabbit as he hurried by. He was wearing a red vest and was waving around pocket watch as he scrambled off, his monocle flying behind him on its string.

"That rabbit," replied the Cheshire, his body already gone.

"Thank you!" shouted Montblanc as the three hurried off.

"He thanks me," mused the cat, now only a grin, "for all the trouble I've just given him. They'll wish they'd stayed in the woods, or hearty adventurers they be,"

And then there was nothing.

*

They came to a hole in the wall; sure the white rabbit had gone through.

"Well, nothing for it," muttered Arc, as he stepped through, followed by Montblanc and Orchid.

On the other side was a brightly lit court, walled with high hedges. They watched curiously as soldiers looking like playing cards marched about. Several were busily painting white roses red.

"What sort of place is this?" asked Orchid, looking around.

"You now stand in the court of Her Majesty, the Red Queen!" shouted a voice. They turned to see the white rabbit standing on a raised platform next to a dais with a throne atop it. Sitting in it was a pudgy, grouchy looking woman wearing a dress of red, white, and black, and waving a scepter with a heart on it.

"Who are you?" asked the Queen demandingly. "Are you the ones who have been attacking my soldiers and trying to steal my heart?"

"Your Majesty, I th-think-" started the white rabbit, but was cut off.

"OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" shouted the Queen.

Suddenly, the trio found themselves surrounded by card soldiers.

"Great," muttered Arc, pushing up his shades. "Just great."

"Look, I think there's been a confusion, kupo," said Montblanc as the soldiers circled in.

"I don't think they're going to listen," said Orchid, the keyblade appearing in her grip. She had mastered the feat in their hours in the Lotus Forest.

"Your Majesty, you really shouldn't-" the rabbit tried to warn.

"GET THEM!" screamed the Red Queen. The card soldiers immediately jumped at the three, landing in a giant dog pile. All that could be heard was some muffled shouting as the card soldiers piled on. Then the pile stopped moving. Then it began to shake violently. Then it exploded into the largest game of fifty-two-card pickup.

"GET OFFA ME!" raged Arc, swinging his arms wide, flinging the card soldiers about. And with that, the battle ensued.

Orchid struck out at the cards, occasionally letting off salvos of fireballs while Arc bashed away at them. Montblanc struck out with his magic, dousing with water, burning with fire, freezing with ice, jolting with thunder and blasting with air. The cards fell easily, but it was only a matter of time before they were standing again. They never stayed down, and the trio was soon flagging in strength.

"GET THEM!" screamed the Queen again, ignoring the white rabbit. Arc was trying to shake off several card soldiers clinging to him, Orchid barely keeping back the soldiers that had surrounded her, and Montblanc was quickly running out of energy. Suddenly, a sagacious voice rang out over the court, causing all to pause.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch!"

They all turned to see an elderly looking man dressed in a brown robe. He had frizzy white hair, bushy white eyebrows that almost covered his eyes, and a rounded face. He walked calmly through the paused fray, and began gently shooing the card soldiers away, and they walked off and back to their posts, though they kept a wary eye on the three. Montblanc, Arc, and Orchid were more than welcome for a stop, and got up gratefully.

"What is the meaning of this!" shouted the Red Queen, her face almost matching her name. "Explain yourself, Lewis!"

The old man turned to her and merely smiled.

"I thought I already warned you," he said simply.

"Th-th-that's what I was trying to tell you," the white rabbit whispered to the Queen. "These people aren't the ones."

"Your intelegm friend is right," supported the old man. "I told you, it's that malkiated fiend and the shadows that are troubling your most eskeen and lihtmous kingdom. If anything, these three are the very kmesk to solve your mome problem, if you know what I mean."

"You think that these…people can get rid of the pests?" asked the Queen, finally calming down.

"In short, yes," said the man, waving his hand aimlessly. He turned to Orchid. "As for you, I should think you have many a natterly question, no?"

"Um, yeah…" said Orchid, confused by the eccentric old man. "Who are you, and what's going on?"

"Ah, the Big questions," muttered the old man. "I am called many things. You may call me Mr. Carroll. As for our most venixum situation, we have many problems. As you may have noticed, there are shadows everywhere in Wonderland now. You can hardly step out of our eskeen Queen's court without meeting them."

"You mean Heartless, kupo?" asked Montblanc.

"Yes, I do recall some such symbol," said Mr. Carroll. "A heart with a cross through it?"

"Yeah, that'd be the Heartless," grunted Arc, peering at him over his glasses.

"Many of them, but they're not the true problem," continued the old man. "The thing that is at the heart of our Heartless problem is a most malkiated, tragnicious creature. It lurks in the shallows of the Tulgey Woods."

"And I take it you want us to kill it?" suggested Orchid.

"Ah, a most asknet guess! Yes, yes, that's exactly what we'd like."

"Why should we help you?" asked Arc.

"Ah, but you will. You know it to be right, and these shadows are your foe too, are they not?" said Carroll. "But I understand. Please forgive the Queen. Many a late day has been very venixum for her. She's actually a very fair and just ruler, provided it doesn't involve crimes against her or beheading."

"How can we defeat this beast?" ask Montblanc. "Will it fall to magic or might, kupo?"

"It may, but it can only be truly defeated by one thing."

"And what's that?" asked Orchid eagerly.

"The Vorpal Blade," replied Carroll.

"And where do we get that?" Arc asked impatiently.

"Oh, I have it."

"Then can you give it to us, kupo?" asked Montblanc politely.

"Of course not."

"YOU! You want us to save you and this place and you won't help?" shouted Arc. "Give us the friggin' sword or-"

"Oh, sorry. I believe that you misunderstood my answer," interrupted the old man quickly. "What I meant was that I can't just give it to you, or how would I make a living? You need to do something for me."

"What?" said Orchid, not exactly happy.

"I would like three things: oysters, a spot of tea, and a book I lent the Turtle."

"And where do you expect us to find these?" asked Arc flatly.

"Dunno. 'S not my problem."

And with that, he wandered off.