Fan Fiction ❯ Evil Daxter and the Goldfish of DOOM ❯ Welcome to Planet Alt! ( Chapter 4 )

Blah blah, r/r please blah blah.

Disclaimer: I don't own Jak and Daxter. Nor do I own references to the South Park episode Spooky Fish. I only own my copies of the J&D games and that is all. Just keep the lawyers away from me, they're looking at me weirdly…*hides*

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Evil Daxter and the Goldfish of DOOM

By Bilbo-sama

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Everyone is watching the sculptor's muse who has gone nuts for no reason at all.

Muse: BIG FLUFFY CHICKENS!

Jak: *twitch* Is that *twitch* normal?

Sculptor: I think so, twitchy dude. She only says that once a year when something is about to happen.

Jak: *realization occurs* WE MUST SAVE *twitch* THE VILLAGE FROM *twitch* A FISHY FATE!

Older Jak *who was sleeping all this time*: *wakes up in a start* The what now?! Did you say that Daxter turned into a hamster?!

Daxter 1: Hamster? What's a hamster?

Daxter 2: I don't know…The Dark Eco must be really getting to Jak!

Jak: But, I *twitch* haven't been *twitch* near any Dark *twitch* Eco…

Older Jak:…

Jak: Why does *twitch* it sound like *twitch* the future is going to *twitch* suck big time?

Older Jak: You'll know when get older…

Keira: Hi guys!

Daxter 1: Where did you come from, sweetums?

Keira: I was just in the village talking to Daddy and he says that a giant goldfish has been seen in the Fire Pass. He needs you to take it out before it kills us all!

Older Jak: Sounds good to me, now where is the Blaster Gun?

Daxter 2: I don't remember having it.

Older Jak: *smacks forehead* Great, I think Torn has it and who knows what he's going to do with it…

Meanwhile

Torn: I'm bored and the two idiots haven't come back from the past yet. I should have made the time machine to fit more than two people…I think I'll watch TV…*turns it on* Hey, Kleepo the Magical Otter-Lurker Hybrid is on…*watches it for the heck of it*

Back where the plot is

Our `heroes' are climbing the ledges to the Fire Pass where a giant goldfish has been seen.

Keira: And might kill us all!

*sighs* And might kill us all. Yay.

Muse: Alright, who just said `yay?'

All: Not me! *Jak twitches*

Muse: *trails off muttering under her breath*

Older Jak: Hey, I found the Scatter Gun. YAY!

Muse: NO ONE SAYS `YAY' IN MY PRESENCE!

Older Jak: Erm, sorry…

Muse: DON'T SORRY ME!

The goldfish hears them and turns around to see what unfortunate idiot has stumbled into his layer this time.

Both Daxters: Uh…hi?

Goldfish: ROAR! (translation: Ottsels, my favorite!) *tries to get the Daxters*

Daxter 1: RUN AWAY!

Daxter 2: My fur! ITS IN MY FUR!

Both of them rush out to the village only to run into Aunt Pansy.

Aunt Pansy: Ah, ottsels, rare here, more common in the Keyboard Galaxy, especially in the Planets Alt, Ctrl, and Delete!

Samos: Well that explains a lot!

Aunt Pansy: It does?

Meanwhile

Torn: RUN KLEEPO RUN!

Tess: *backs away slowly and rushes out of the hideout in horror from what she has seen*

Meanwhile again

The Giant Goldfish looms before them for poor Older Jak ran out of bullets trying to break through the fish's outer shell.

Sculptor: Before you kill us, Mr. Giant Goldfish, can I ask you a question?

Giant Goldfish: ROAR! (translation: Sure!)

Sculptor: How can you stand on the lava and not explode?

Giant Goldfish: ROAR! (translation: Lava? Oh NOOOOOOOO!) *explodes*

All: *blinks*

Meanwhile

Torn: *sniff* Poor Kleepo's cousin…she only wanted cheese! *cries*

Back to where we are

Muse: They are wondering if they should stop writing!

Jak: *confused* Stop? *twitch* But we need to *twitch* go to Misty Island! *twitch*

Muse: And now they say they got to 629 words. But for what, I don't know.

Older Jak: Whatever. I say we go to Misty Island…now.

Keira: I'll go ask my father…

Later

Samos: Lemme think…Keira, no but the boys can go. I want you to brush up on your self-defense skills. *hands over a bazooka* The portal is set to go to Geyser Rock. Now go on, protect yourself. *to the boys* Now you boys see what is causing the problem, ok? And you don't need to use the Fisherman's new speedboat! *whips out what looks like a button and presses lightly on the edge and a harpoon with rope attached zooms off and hits the submerged rib cage near the dock* Happy sleuthing! *walks off with Keira laughing maniacally*

Muse: 753 words!

Jak: Quiet *twitch* you.

Older Jak: Hmm, where's Daxter?

Sculptor: He's over, dude. *points to both Daxters running to their direction in a panic*

Daxter 1: Jak, I think you're in trouble! Two random body landed on the Mayor and I think your Uncle saw it too!

Jak: Ah, *twitch* nuts.

Daxter 2: Quick! Climb onto the conveniently placed rope and get the heck out of here!

The boys (and strange furry things) quickly get away to Misty Island while hearing Uncle Ted saying `Those dog lurkers wont be hungry tonight!'

Jak: My uncle is *twitch* starting to creep *twitch* me out.

Older Jak: Strange I don't remember this happening…

Daxter 2: I believe it was Keira's Bazooka that made you forget…

Older Jak: Keira has a bazooka?

Sculptor: DUDE! I didn't know that she had one!

Muse: It was an implanted in-joke of something one of them says. 912 words!

Jak: Would you *twitch* shut up *twitch* about that? *twitch*

Daxter 1: Didn't you just say that before?

Jak: I *twitch* did?

Older Jak: We're here!

Muse: YAY! I like this place!

Daxter 2: Well that explains a lot!

Sculptor: Well, dudes, now we need to look for that random pet shop!

Muse: It's over there, near the dark Eco silo.

All: Oh.

Older Jak: Mmm…Dark Eco…

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Yes, I do know some of you are going to kill me for putting this in a cliffhanger but no worries for I'll be updating next week!…

With a chapter full of paragraphs for I stink at writing serious stuff in script form!

If this fic mysteriously goes bye-bye, look for it in Mediaminer.org. Erm, yeah.

See ya!