Fan Fiction ❯ Metal Gear Solid: Tactical Espionage for Dummies ❯ Mission breifing! Gotta love it! ( Prologue )

!Metal Gear Solid: Tactical Espionage for Dummies!

Chapter One: The tanker…. No…wait that's Metal Gear Solid 2…Umm…the…uhh…underground thingey!

Foxhound, a top-secret team of bootie-kicking mercenaries, has decided to become evil and try to blow-up the world with a nuclear weapon that closely resembles a dinosaur called "Metal Gear Rex!" DUM, DUM, DUUUM!

The leader of this terrorist act is none other than…

Liquid Snake, Solid Snake's brother.

…Actually, you weren't supposed to know that yet!

Anyway, the following are under his command:

Stupid Wolf: a beautiful yet stupid sniper

Recliner Ocelot: A meanie who likes to torture people!

Decoy Octopus: Master of disguise and lover of seafood.

Vulcan Loon: Ever heard of that saying "crazy as a loon?!" Be careful….

Liquid Snake: Male dumb blonde…. You know, he looks a lot like Solid Snake…

And last, but not least…. No, wait, that's it….

They are demanding Big Boss's remains and one gazillion dollars! Wow! That's a lot!

If their demands are not met within 18 hours, the terrorists will try to launch a nuclear attack on anywhere on the planetary surface.

They'll try to.

Only one super-bootie-kicking-ex-member-of-foxhound-guy stands in the terrorists way!

Terrorists: Get outta our freakin way!

…Waaait for it…

SOLID SNAKE! Wow, that was stealthy!

Solid Snake, which previously saved the entire world from nuclear destruction by Metal Gear, has once again been called upon to save the entire world from nuclear destruction by Metal Gear…again! A chain smoker as well as a hermit who lives in Alaska, Solid Snake is virtually unstoppable!

The one in charge of his mission is Colonel Roy Campbell, a really old guy who needs to retire. He used to be in Delta Force, but that's not the point!

Next, there's Mei Ling. She's from China and likes to read quotes.

She invented the CODEC, is a genius that's, like, 16 or something,

and went to ITT-TECH! WHOO!

Oh yeah, and she saves the game.

There's also Naomi Hunter.

Don't ask her about the ninja or Foxdie, she doesn't know!

Don't forget Master Miller. Actually, that's not Master Miller; that's a Pepsi Twist! And I'm not the author; I'm Johnny Sazaki, the guard with diarrhea!

Gimmie a break…Pepsi…hah!

Anyway, Master Miller is supposed to give you tips and info, but his advice is boring and useless, so don't bother calling him…ever…. In fact, don't call him. You know, he looks a lot like-

And last, but not least, Natasha Romaneko. Unlike…"Master Miller", her information is useful to the point where it's…well…useful. She's a freelance researcher of nuclear weapons! Kick ass!

Now that you're well/poorly-informed about what the heck's going on, we can continue with our story….