Fan Fiction ❯ Night out ❯ Transportation ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own the Metal Gear series or any of the characters.

I don't hate Raiden but it's just too easy to make fun.

Please review, helpful criticisms would be helpful, but don't be too harsh, it's my first fic, and I haven't written a story since I was 6! Please tell me if you like it and I'll do more:)

Graham Norton by the way is the very camp host of a very funny show in England, with celebrity guests, a look into the web, and talks with the audience (the freaks), it's very funny and sick, which I like:) but sometimes just a bit too dodgy for even me.... Everyone should watch it it's won awards and everything...

*In a dark smelly room, in a mess of pizza and beer cans that could make my room look like Mr muscles room, is Snake flicking in between cartoons on TV, one about a funny green man, a bloke with bad hair plus an eating disorder trying to find some balls (hehe) and some funny bloke with wings in a court room*

Otacon: Snake, don't you think you should try venturing out of the house?

Snake: What the hell do you mean? I've got everything I need: *ehem* those magazines, beer, pizza..

Otacon: Yes but I think you're getting a little bored

Snake: No I'm not! *pulls a cardboard box over his head and runs around laughing and yelling "you can't see me"

Otacon: I think that's a little unhealthy Snake...

Snake: Fineeeee... *pulls out pistol and starts aiming at various moving targets outside, a scream is heard, followed by "Johnny, Johnny what the hell's happened? Speak to me!...ahh never really liked him anyway"* **At that point Otacon yells and drags Snake out**

***Later outside***

Otacon: Look Snake I have these tickets to a show featuring the latest weapons, Raiden gave them to me, at least it'll be interesting for you.

Snake: OK but I spent all my money on, err... erm... flowers- yes! That's it! Flowers to brighten the flat up. *Thinks to himself, damn that was lame!*

Otacon: *Sighs* Snake you haven't spent it all in a place called "Bad Girls- Good Times" again have you? *Notices snakes smirking* SNAKEEE!

Snake: Heh-heh, best £50 I spent this week mutters to himself- oh yeah, oh baby mmm...

Otacon: SNAKKEEE!!

Snake: Okay, okay, flipping heck I'm sorry ok?!

Otacon: Now how are we going to get there, I spent he last of my money on spider man stuff, he-he spider man, such a cool guy, all spidery and

Snake: SHUT UPPPPPPP ARGHHHHH!

Otacon: So how do we get there?

Snake: *smirks at Otacon and looks at boxes in doorway* Same way I get everywhere...

*As a bus pulls up to let people on, a very tired driver rubs his eyes as he sees two walking boxes enter the bus, he mutters to himself, "bloody hell I don't think I should be driving this thing in this state..."*

*On the bus*

Snake: Damn that kid over there, he keeps on going to blow our cover, and what's more, the screaming brat smells of snot!

Otacon: Snake have you ever thought the only reason you don't get noticed in a box is because no-one would believe anyone could be that stupid, and so they think they must be going insane.

Snake: Hmmm Works either way... Damn I had some fun with that box... *Starts smirking*

*The kid proceeds to snot all over Snakes box and pick holes in it, at which snake seems to of had too much and starts to get out his gun, Otacon starts to get worried, and Snake pokes out the gun though the hole in the box so only the kid can see it...*

Snake: Freeze!!

*The kid freezes and looks like he's going to wet himself- he does- a yellow patch slowly appears on his trousers, The kid sniffles "please don't kill me" and snake aims the tranquilliser dart gun at his head and fires- at which a girl yells "Hey thanks box with legs, now he smells even more!! But at least he's quiet I suppose." The box yells back "Yeah they're cute when they're sleeping" *

*Everyone is silent for the rest of the journey, except for the freaky girl who finds the fact one young kid has now started shaking and rocking back and forth in terror amusing.*