Fan Fiction ❯ Night out ❯ JER-RY, JER-RY, JER-RY!!! ( Chapter 3 )

*After the talk to the audience section of the show the audience stops applauding and quietens, waiting for Graham to continue with the next part of the show*

Graham: After that lovely section we must move on to the next... He's the man, you may find yourself chanting, it's the king of the hillbillies- Jerry Springer!

*Jerry walks out accompanied by the scantily clad women Snake saw earlier, waves to the audience, and greets Graham*

Snake: *Chants* WE LOVE LESBIANS, WE LOVE LESBIANS, WE LOVE LESBIANS!!!!!

Graham: Would mullet man over there please shut up?

Snake: *Chants* SHUT YOUR FACE, SHUT YOUR FACE, SHUT YOUR FACE !!!!

Graham: MULLET!!!!! SHUT UP!!

Snake: Actually it's Solid Snake...

Graham: Look, we don't need to know how solid your snake is, it's not that kind of show - no wait actually it is...

*Snake flashes back to school days- To remember himself asking "why do you all make fun of me?" and Otacon laughing haha Solid Snake, Snakes got a Solid Snake, ha ha...*

Otacon: Ha ha - Solid Snake, Snakes got a Solid Snake, ha ha...

Raiden: I don't get it.....

Otacon: And you never will...

Snake: Hey let's turn the attention away from me... *Sticks a sticker on the back of Raiden's head that says "Insert brain here"*

* Otacon sees his step mother walk into the studio wearing some kind of cling film dress, she sits next to Snake who stops laughing at Raiden, who's frantically spinning round trying to read what Snake stuck on him *

Snake: *Is not picky* Helloo....

Otacon's step-mum: Well hi there stranger...

Snake: *Smirks* You can call me Solid...

Otacon: (To step-mum) I hate you, you *beep*ing piece of *beep*ing, *beep*ing beeeeeeepppppppp!!!!!! Go *beep* beep* *beep* *BEEP*, you big fat trailer park piece of *beep*ing *BEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*!!!

Snake: Wow, go Otacon!

Snake: *chants* OTA-CON! OTA-CON! OTA-CON!!!!!

*Crowd stare at Snake weirdly as he's the only one who's been chanting*

Otacon's step-mum: You ungrateful *beep*!!!

Snake: *Chanting* LETS SEE! LETS SEE! LETS SEE!!!!!

Otacon: *Turns to snake* And as for you...

Otacon: How dare you! You *beep*ing *beep* my *beep*ing *beep* mother!!!! You *BEEEEP*!!!!!

*Otacon snatches the laptop off Snake (who's been using it for, well, again ehhemm...) He then proceeds to bash Snake around the head with it repeatedly*

Graham: This is getting interesting...

Otacon: *In between bashes at snakes head.* Anyway Snake, didn't you say you'd like to show Raiden your room?

Psycho Mantis: SICK!

Snake: That was when I thought he was a woman!

*Raiden finally stops spinning, and picks off the paper from his head, just catching the end of the conversation*

Raiden: *singing* I'mm every womann, it's all in meeeeeeeeeee...

Jerry: You should be on my show...

Raiden: *Reads paper Snake stuck on his head (with great difficulty)* IN- SERRRRTT BR-A-IN HE, HE-RE. Insert brain here...-Otacon do pieces of paper need brains?

Otacon: *sighs* What do you think?

Raiden: ... Well paper comes from trees... trees are living things......... Yes! Better find one!

Otacon: * starts one of his messed up lectures.... * *Five hours later* so the moral of the story is...Sit down and shut up!

Raiden: *whimpers* OK...ok just make it stop!