Fan Fiction ❯ Safe.... ❯ Safe ( One-Shot )

Safe…….

I pondered the meaning of that word this dreary morning. Such a common word, but when I really concentrated on it, I found much to my own terror and amusement that I hadn't a clue what the group of letters really meant.

Ok so that isn't entirely true now is it? Come now, I'm not an uneducated simpleton, right? You give me too much credit there though weary traveler, as in fact it'd be easier if I didn't know the technical meaning of that comical utterance you boast.

Safe means no fears, no worries, no insecurities and all that comes with the territory of the word, no? But, for me it's a foreign concept. I kind of feel like Columbus must have felt on his journey to discover America. And, ironically enough I've ended up adrift and in a different place than I wanted or expected. We share something there Columbus and I, I guess you might suppose.

But never-mind. The word is one of many I will never be able to comprehend or understand completely and to what holds emotional value to the letters. It seems that I've succeeded in one thing out of this blurry mess. I've learned now that if I have pain it's weatherable, as long as I don't trip anyone else to the fact of the walls closing in.

And just as well that if I suffer not to dwell on the massive details or weep and seek comfort in yelling about and begging upon bruised and bleeding knees. It does no good and all I succeed in accomplishing is the title of an even bigger fool than I already own. I have also come to the conclusion and accepted my fate that this pain will never cease, nor will it dissolve in time. It's here to stay, as the curse speaks so true.

And I'm torn between two worlds: one of hating what I am because it is what is the very cause of all my grief, and that of loving what I am because it is in fact the only reason for my survival in this so far. Damn those double negatives, hm? It's black on both sides of the coin, but that's what being a dark soul is all about. And the ancient saying does hold true: "Monsters we are, lest monsters we become."

I realize that God, and alternately the Devil, have both indeed turned their backs upon me, which is just fine by me. Surprise, surprise. I still have Satan, which, is myself, my independence and my self-esteem to laugh and smirk at them both and proudly say kiss my back heels. And you know what? I really mean it. And you know what else? I really feel good about meaning it.

(PS- To clear any confusion up, I do not worship Satan. I worship no God, no Deity, but rather pull energy from them and concentrate upon them to try and figure them out. Do me just this one favor….flame me if you dislike what I have written, but please do not flame me because I am different from you. It's only a small request of common courtesy. Thank you very kindly.)