Fan Fiction ❯ The Complete History of Iron Chef (Abridged) ❯ Act 1 ( Chapter 1 )

The Complete History of Iron Chef (abridged)

By Houou Kazoku-Kaga

Cohosted by William Raymer

With Appearances by the cast of Iron Chef

AN: I know. Not really abridged. But it'd be better than a school course on it, you'd admit.

Act 1: 1993-1995

Houou: [in creepy black cloak] Over ten years ago, a TV show began in Japan.

William: [also in creepy black cloak] That show was called Iron Chef and it would change the world.

Houou: This TV show has its share of history.

William: Not to mention a couple of variants.

Houou: To go in detail would be long and boring.

William: So we're trying to condense it.

Houou: No promises, though.

William: And so we present The Complete History of Iron Chef (abridged)! [pulls off cloak]

Houou: [gets tangled in cloak] Ack!

William: I'm William Raymer or LawerenceIII to those at Iron Fans. I'm cohosting this by request of the author and other cohost.

Houou: [stops untangling herself] That's me! I'm Houou Kazoku-Kaga, aka Hou-chan. I'm writing this, I'm cohosting this, and I'm tangled in this! [starts untangling herself again as William sweatdrops]

1993

Houou: I'm untangled! Go me! Okay, someone came up with a brilliant idea.

William: [posing as Fuji worker] Let's do a cooking show! But not a normal cooking show, let's have it where cabbage rises from the floor!

Houou: The show was named Ryori no Tetsujin, roughly translated as The Iron Men of Cooking.

William: The search began and Iron Chefs were found.

Houou: Chen Kenichi became Iron Chef Chinese.

William: Michiba Rokusaburo became Iron Chef Japanese.

Houou: Ishinabe Yutaka became Iron Chef French.

William: But they still needed a chairman.

Houou: [posing as Fuji worker] Oooh oooh!

William: Yes, you.

Houou: Kaga Takeshi!

William: Correct, Kaga Takeshi became the chairman.

Houou: And on October 10, Iron Chef began with…

Everyone: Allez Cuisine!!!!

William: Of course, they lost their sixth battle.

Chen: I'm sorry already! [begins fake crying to invoke sympathy]

1994

Houou: The beginning of the New Year also brought the beginning of Iron Chef's resident rival/baka, Kandagawa Toshiro.

Kandagawa: Hahahaha! No one can beat me, the Don of the Kansai!

William: Didn't you break even in your battles?

Kandagawa: Uh…

Houou: And didn't nearly all your apprentices lose their battles?

Kandagawa: Quiet! No one shall ever know!!! Hahahaha! [Darth Vader theme music plays]

Houou: So that's where my Star Wars CD went.

William: Around this time…

Ishinabe: This bites! I quit!

William: Ishinabe quit and became an Honorary Iron Chef.

Houou: His replacement was Sakai Hiroyuki.

Sakai: Well, if it's only for a few batt…WHA? SIX YEARS!

Michiba: You're getting ahead of yourself.

William: Kagata Kyoko became the first female challenger, the first female victor, and according to Hou's book that's falling apart, the youngest victor.

Houou: I gotta get that book replaced.

Hattori: How come they get to be Iron Chefs? I WANNA BE AN IRON CHEF!!!

Houou: Commentator Hattori Yukio coveted the title of Iron Chef.

William: He challenged Michiba in Battle Truffles. He lost.

Hattori: Rub it in, why don't you.

Houou: You should have fought Chen, dude.

William: Wakiya Yuji challenged Sakai in Battle Uni. You will see that name again.

Houou: The first Tag Team battle occurred with Joel Bruant and Furutaka Masashi beating Michiba and Chen.

William: Hoi Roi Wing becomes the first challenger from overseas.

1995

Houou: From December 23 to January 2, the first Mr. Iron Chef Tournament is held.

William: Kandagawa was the victor.

Kandagawa: I'M BAAAAACK!!!

William: But, he lost against Michiba.

Michiba: Ha!

Kandagawa: [pouty face]

Houou: Michiba is named Mr. Iron Chef 1994.

William: The Iron Chefs were the ones to go overseas this time in the Hong Kong battles.

Houou: Jou Etsuo challenged Michiba in Battle Broccoli. You will see his name again as well.

William: During May and June, the French chef faction Club Mistral challenged the resident chefs Sakai and Ishinabe.

Ishinabe: I did NOT appreciate that.

Houou: And then…Michiba got hospitalized.

William: Let's have a moment for the ill fated. [bows head]

Michiba: I'm right here.

William: You're ruining the moment. Michiba's absence was felt, as Sakai and Chen had to do extra battles.

Houou: The good thing was, Michiba returned on August 11th and battled Kaji Kenji in Battle Umeboshi.

William: Or Pickled Plum. Another tag match was fought, with Sakai and Michiba defeating the Salvatore Brothers.

Houou: Joel Bruant, who was in the first tag match, made an interesting proposition.

William: If he beat Sakai, he will become an Iron Chef. He didn't beat Sakai, though, so scratch that idea.

Houou: Minoru Noda becomes the first American to challenge the Iron Chefs.

William: The first Iron Chef World Cup was held at the Ariake Coliseum. Among the combatants were Pierre Gagnaire, and Michiba won the tournament.

Houou: The rules changed October 13. Instead of 3 judges, there are 4, and if a tie results, a 30 minute tie breaker match would occur.

William: The very next battle, Lin Kunbi and Michiba tied in Battle Potato.

Lin: This is your fault! [points at Michiba]

Michiba: No, it's your fault.

Houou: Calm down, it's Kaga's fault.

Kaga: Gee, thanks.

William: The first overtime battle, Battle Sweet Potato, was fought.

Houou: On November 17th, the total of challengers reached 100.

William: Kandagawa, the most memorable challenger, challenged Sakai, but lost.

Kandagawa: I'LL BE BACK!!!

Houou: Miyomoto Sozo battled. You'll see him too.

William: You'll also see Ota Tadamichi, who beat Sakai in Battle Octopus.