Fan Fiction ❯ The Complete History of Iron Chef (Abridged) ❯ Act 3 ( Chapter 3 )

Act 3

1998

Nakamura: He cheated!

Kaga: For the zillionth time, Kandagawa did not cheat. Now we have to find you a suitable challenger for your last battle.

Hattori: I'm suitable! Pick me! Pick me!

Kaga: Okay.

Houou: Nakamura's final battle was held on February 20. Hattori, whose family had a past relation with Nadaman, the restaurant Nakamura worked at, stepped up to the plate.

Fukui: Haha, you lost again.

Hattori: Bite me. [Fukui bites him.] OW! Not really!

William: [shakes head] The next week, Kaga introduced the new Iron Chef, Morimoto Masaharu.

Kaga: And remember, Morimoto, this is not America, so drive on the left side of the road.

Houou: August 28, the amount of dishes created in Kitchen Stadium equaled 2000. So Kaga celebrated the only way he knew how.

William: Two teams were formed. One consisted of the French chefs Jou Etsuo, Ishinabe, and Sakai.

Sakai: I'm the captain!

Jou: I'm back!

Ishinabe: I didn't get coerced into doing this!

Fukui: I GET TO JUDGE!!!

William: And the other team consisted of Chinese chefs Miyamoto, Wakiya, and Chen.

Wakiya: How come they get two Iron Chefs?

Chen: [shrugs shoulders] Dunno.

William: The ingredients were the chairman's favorite: pork, bananas, and turtle.

French Chefs: [as they cut the shells off] Ick, ick, ick.

Houou: Temporary vegetarian conversion moment, much. The two teams created spectacular meals that resulted in a tie, so Kaga deviated from his neutral position just this once and voted…

Kaga: All French!

French Team: All right! All for one, and one for all!

William: FYI: Up to that point, Kishi Asako was the judge who had tasted the most dishes.

Kishi: I told you I'm good.

William: With Kurimoto Shinichiro a close second.

Prime Minister: Kurimoto-san! Get back to work!

Kurimoto: Busted. Gotta go!

Houou: We mentioned Ota Tadimichi in Act 1. It turns out that he did not like the appointment of Morimoto.

William: He considered Morimoto too radical and novelle to represent Japanese cuisine.

Houou: So the Ota Party of Heaven and Earth was formed, with Ota as the head, and Kandagawa serving as advisor.

William: The faction challenged Morimoto to numerous battles, however, only one succeeded in beating Morimoto, thus proving his worth at Kitchen Stadium.

Houou: Ron Siegal becomes the first American to defeat an Iron Chef.

Siegal: I do? Cool!

Houou: He defeated Sakai in Battle Lobster.

William: Yoneda Hiromichi challenged Iron Chef Kobe. While this in itself is not important to Iron Chef history, it does contain the most famous scene in Iron Chef history.

Kobe: [whacks octopus tentacle with a daikon radish.]

William: That was it.


Houou: [checks script] Boy, that year was pretty dull. Half the lines were on the 2000 Dish special.

William: Really? [looks over her shoulder]

1999

Houou: Now THIS was a year.

William: Morimoto faces a slump after one year as the Iron Chef.

Houou: Chairman Kaga dispatches Michiba to help him out of it. Michiba declares that Morimoto will have a battle with Nakamura to better understand the ways of the Iron Chefs.

William: Around this time, The Iron Chefs developed a slump themselves, losing six of the past nine battles.

Kaga: That's it. I'm not coming back till you win a battle!

William: Kaga boycotts Battle…Infant Pork, or something like that.

Houou: They looked like the fetal pigs we dissected in Anatomy.

William: Please, I just ate.

Houou: Sorry. Hattori steps in as temporary chairman, the lucky guy.

Hattori: I'm your chairman for today, and no, I will not wear one of Kaga's wacky outfits.

Houou: And that's why you're no fun. Luckily, Chen won this battle, and victories began to pick up, so Kaga returned.

William: Michiba and Morimoto travel to Indonesia to cook a banquet for Indonesia's royalty.

Chen: Sounds like the premise for a fanfiction.

Michiba: Don't give them ideas.

Houou: Food Network began airing Iron Chef in the US. At the same time, Michael Noble becomes the only Canadian to challenge the Iron Chefs.

William: The number of challengers reaches 300. To celebrate, there was an ice statue carved to say 300…

Chen: Which Kobe got his tongue stuck on.

Kobe: I DID NOT!!!

William: And Dominic Corby from the famous Le Tour D'Argent challenged Chen to a battle.

Houou: The battle ended in a tie. They had a tiebreaker. That battle ended in a tie.

Kaga: If we eat anymore, we'll explode.

Houou: Both chefs were declared the winner.

Kaga: That was a cool battle. Too bad I'm closing Kitchen Stadium.

Everyone: WHAAAAT????

William: You heard right folks. Kaga is closing Kitchen Stadium.

Houou: And I think you know by now, Kaga likes flair.

William: The King of Iron Chefs Tournament began, where the Iron Chefs went against each other for the right to be called the King of Iron Chefs.

Houou: Chen and Kobe were given Tokyo X brand pork as the theme, and both created truly amazing dishes, However, Chen defeated Kobe.

William: Kaga gave Morimoto and Sakai bell peppers as the theme for their battle. They produced unique and original dishes. In the end, Sakai was the victor.

Chen: Cool, me and Sakai get our own theme music!

Houou: It was Chen versus Sakai in Battle Homard Lobster…

Sakai: Again?

Houou: For the title of King of Iron Chefs.

Sakai: Two or three homard battles were enough!

KagA: Oh, shut up.

William: Words cannot describe the King of Iron Chefs final. But, we'll try.

Houou: Breathtaking.

William: Revolutionary.

Chen, Sakai: Hectic.

Houou: You would say that.

William: And the winner…

Kaga: Sakai Hiroyuki!

Sakai: Woo-hoo! This is cool! I'm the greatest! I'm the king of the world!

Houou: Wrong show.

Sakai: Same difference.

William: But that was not the last battle.

Houou: To refresh your memory, Alain Passard tied with Nakamura in the 1997 World Cup. Kaga brought him to Kitchen Stadium to battle with the King of Iron Chefs.

William: The theme was Long-Gang chichen, or Ron kon kai. The words for the final also apply here.

Houou: Add tearful to the list.

Fukui: Whose cuisine reigns supreme?

Kaga: Sakai Hiroyuki!

Houou: And if you thought that was the end of Iron Chef…

Everyone: You Are Dead Wrong!