Fan Fiction ❯ The Master of the Death Glare ❯ One-Shot

Disclaimer:

I do not own the teen titans, the justice league or any other entities, sentient or otherwise, of the dc universe.

Stuff:

This is another random short fic that has wormed it’s way into my subconscious. Enjoy, because I should have been studying for my math test instead. This fic is several years in the future. All of the titans are now members of the justice league.

The Master of the Death Glare:

Victor Stone, a.k.a. Cyborg and Garfield Logan, a.k.a. Changeling, of the Justice League were sitting in the main lobby of the watch tower, watching the greatest event in Justice League history, a three way glaring match between Batman, Raven and Nightwing.

Five Hours Earlier:

It all started when Batman and Nightwing were comparing whose archenemy was worse, Joker or Slade.

“Bruce, you’re battier than a bat in a belfry if you still think that Slade is nothing compared to the Joker. I mean come on! He nearly ended the world and formed an alliance with an inter-dimensional demon lord! There is no way that the Joker is worse than he is.”

“Dick, Slade was nothing more than a one trick pony. He’s just an industrial thief who decided to chew off more than he could handle,” Batman paused long enough to see Nightwing grind his teeth and snarl, “Joker on the other hand has had a part in nearly ten apocalyptic events and that is only in the last five years.”

Nightwing then glared at Batman and Batman glared back.

They then began going through catalogs of all the crimes of said archenemies, bickering and glaring at each other.

“Well Slade steals military weapons and sells then to terrorists,” Nigthwing said.

Batman dismissed him with a wave, “Joker is a terrorist,” he countered.

They then sunk to their normal manner of arguments.

“Hermit”

Batman glared, that was a low blow.

“Sidekick”

It was Nightwing’s turn to glare at the low blow administered.

“Jackass”

“Boy Blunder”

It went back and forth like that, with no foreseeable end in sight for about three hours.

Then Raven entered the room with an aggravated look in her face. Changeling and Cyborg were about to titter like school girls. Watching Batman and Nightwing go at each other was really entertaining, but add Raven to the mix and you could sell seats. She zeroed in on the two bickering heroes and stomped up to them.

“Bruce, Dick,” she hissed out, “Do you both know what is on the other side of this room?”

They both shook their heads.

“My room,” she roared, making the two normally fearless men cower in her fury, “and if I have to hear one more thing about either Joker or Slade then I swear I will destroy the realm of mortals myself! Do I make myself clear!”

Now normally watching Raven, well…Rave like that made a person think about their self-preservation. Batman and Nightwing were not normal by any stretch of the imagination.

Nightwing turned to her, resuming his normal ramrod posture, and asked, “Raven who do you think is worse? That evil, twisted, bastard Slade or the Joker?”

Raven lost a bit of her steam at the sudden question and replaced with a questioning look.

Batman glared at his former sidekick and turned to Raven, “Raven, tell the former traffic light (1) that the Joker is indeed a worse arch nemesis than some over glorified thief.”

Changeling and Cyborg sat at one of the tables, ready to whisk both men to the medical wing after Raven was done kicking the crap out of them.

It was then that Raven did the unexpected. She resumed her trademark poker face and calmly answered them, “Neither.”

Both men looked as Raven as though she had shaved her head and began spitting nickels, while dressed as Barney.

“My father beats both of those psychos by leagues, remember my father was Trigon the Terrible. An inter-dimensional demon lord, favored son of Lucifer himself. Trigon was the incarnation of evil and darkness in this universe so, I think that he beats both of your guys.”

They both glared at her and she glared right back. They glared again and so did she.

Cyborg and Changeling were looking at all of this with amazement and amusement. There was no way that Raven would back down from someone glaring at her. She was the queen of glaring, but then again so was Batman…well in his case king. Nightwing was maybe a prince…

Anyway once they began glaring there was no stopping them, not that there was anyone who had the testicular fortitude to do so.

Present Time:

And that is how the whole glaring contest began.

Everyone in the watchtower was running a pot to see who would indeed win this odd event and be deemed the Master of the Death Glare. So far the bets indicated that the winner would be either Batman or Raven. In fact all but one person voted for the Bat or the Black Bird. Starfire decided to cast a bet for Nightwing, but it was really nothing more than a pity ballot because, she did think that Raven would probably beat him.

For a long time no one intervened in this competition, that is until Clark, a.k.a. Superman, thought that he could intervene.

Everyone looked at him as though he were insane. Sure he was indestructible…but that didn’t mean much when you took into account the potentially super villain dispositions of Batman, Nightwing and Raven.

“Guys,” Superman said, hoping to get the attention of the three. He was ignored.

“Guys,” he repeated to no avail, because he was ignored again.

“You are all acting like a bunch of spoiled children,” this got their attention. They gave him a group glare of such intensity that Superman visibly flinched. It was like looking into hellfire that threatened to burn and devour your immortal soul.

“Oookkkaaayyy…I have some business on Earth, so…bye,” and with that said the man of steel fled.

“You know what,” Nightwing said, “Clark’s right. This is stupid.”

Everyone knew that this was an out for him, he had about a snowball’s chance in hell of out glaring Bruce or Raven.

It was then that Bruce and Raven performed a tag team glare on the hero. This glare was a super powered version of the one that was administered to Clark. It made him feel a truly unnatural level of fear. It was such a powerful and ultimately evil glare that it gave Nightwing a vision…of Kitten…holding him hostage…and…molesting him…forever…

The combined glares were just so evil, so powerful, so all consuming in it’s never ending promise of pain and destruction and hallucinations that Nightwing screamed and ran out of the room, clutching his head as though it were on fire.

Everyone took a collective step back as they saw what happened to Nightwing and shivered in fear. They had no idea that the combined glares of Batman and Raven were so evil and powerful. They truly were evil when it came to glaring.

Quite some time later…

The match had been going on for quite a while.

Batman would glare, Raven would glare right back. Back and forth, back and forth.

Nightwing was found a few hours ago curled up in a fetal position in the training room whispering, “Please don’t touch me…I’ll be good I promise…” It was apparent that he would need extensive therapy to deal with the trauma.

Meanwhile Flash was approaching Batman and Raven, curiosity written all over his face. Nobody tried to stop him from approaching the two heroes. Truth be told after Nightwing was found, people were too scared to approach either one of them.

Flash stood right next to them and carefully looked on. He’d look to Batman who was glaring at Raven and then look to Raven who was glaring at Batman. He then shook his head, this was just too weird…

He then waved over John, a.k.a. Green Lantern and Jonn, a.k.a. Martian Manhunter. They cautiously approached him, ready to take off at a moments notice.

“Hey guys,” Flash said, “What do you think their doing,” motioning towards the glaring duo.

The other two heroes examined the duo. Green Lantern looked as mystified as Flash, Jonn on the other hand had a speculative face.

“I cannot be sure,” he began, “but it does appear that they are engaged in some sort of internal struggle with one another…perhaps it is a battle of wills…,” he offered.

Flash then did what was sure to be the stupidest thing ever, ask the two why they were glaring.

“Hey guys---”

Flash didn’t even get to finish the statement. Two pairs of eyes focused on his with such an intensity that Flash took a step back and ran away, obviously very freaked out.

John and Jonn followed him, John not wanting to be the next victim and Jonn wondering how much therapy Flash would need.

Quite a few hours later…

It had been a very long time since the glaring begun.

The league had fled to other areas in the Watchtower and were watching the match from surveillance cameras. It was just too dangerous to stay around Batman or Raven. So far they had lost Superman, Nightwing and Flash to the glaring power of the bat and the black bird. They were good men and would be missed by all…

Finally Batman and Raven smiled at each other and shook hands.

“You’re not bad Raven,” Batman said with an appreciative smile.

“Neither are you,” Raven returned with a smile of her own.

With that they went their separate ways.

End.

Authoress Notes:

Hi there everyone. I hoped you liked this fic. I am busy with my other fics but this one just refused to go away until it was written.

(1) Has anyone really looked at the Robin costume? Bright red, yellow and green? I can’t look at it without thinking of a traffic light.