Fan Fiction ❯ The Sparrow's Burden ❯ Remember Her ( Chapter 11 )

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The Sparrow’s Burden

11

Raven knew exactly where she was going. She did not know what was leading
her or even what she expected to find when she arrived. She carried no tracking or
navigational device, only a mysterious knowledge of exactly where she needed to be.

Her flight was arched upward, and Raven was moving faster than she ever
imagined was in her ability, her cloak had shred apart from the resistance of the air. The
wind had turned her face a bright red and pounded through her eardrums. She was high
enough that her tears had frozen while gathered in her eyelashes, and it was difficult to
keep her them open.

What pulled her along her mad path made all the physical discomforts trivial.
Raven was being driven by an odd combination of hysteria, hope, and sorrow. She would
find Starfire at her destination, possibly dead or dying. But if she was not, if Raven could
get to her in time, there would be no stopping her telling Starfire everything. How she
felt about her, how scared she had been, and how much she wanted the two of them to be
together. Raven had never been able to express her feelings to anybody, and the prospect
tickled her. But what if she was too late? What if whatever was going to happen to
Starfire had happened already? If Starfire died thinking Raven hated her, Raven would
never recover.

Every muscle was clenched as she skyrocketed. No matter how fast she moved, it
did not seem fast enough. The air was growing thinner, and Raven only pushed herself
harder. Robin’s endurance exercises were proving useful after all.

The flash of light came without warning. In the distance, it almost seemed as
though a second sun was being created. It was far enough that Raven could not hear the
detonation, but close enough that she felt a mild tremor as the dying pulse met her body.
The sky lit up in an orange hue where the giant flare lingered.

Raven’s panic increased to the point where she felt sick. She knew exactly how
the blast made it’s way that high, why it was harmless to all those at ground level. “Oh,
please no.” She slowed only for a moment to break off the ice around her eyes so she
could look for what she desperately did not want to see.

She moved her flight under the blast’s radius, frantically searching the skies along
the way. The orange cloud refused to dissipate and the intense light burned Raven’s eyes
even despite her distance. She hovered high above the clouds, waiting for a sign. No
sounds were heard, no signs of life anywhere. But if Starfire was anywhere it would be
here.

If it had not been for the light above casting a exaggerated shadow onto the
clouds, Raven would not have known where to look. A quarter mile away, Starfire’s limp
body was in a plummet to Earth. It fell as fast as gravity would carry it, no resistance
coming from the unconscious Tamarainian. Raven’s teeth ground together as she dove
for the girl. Starfire’s fall slowed and found it’s way into Raven’s arms.

Holding her in a threshold carry, Raven’s anguished eyes made their way up and
down Starfire’s body as the girls lowered past the clouds. She was exactly as Raven
foresaw, in a threshold between unconsciousness and death. Starfire’s breathing was
shallow and extremely laboured, as though something were obstructing it. Second degree
burns marred her once elegant skin, which was now peeling in countless areas. Her body
was almost too hot to carry. Raven’s hands were beginning to blister.

Starfire had been exposed to accelerated radiation poisoning. Raven could have
cared less that coming into contact with Starfire meant she had been exposed as well.
Her life meant nothing right now. Raven’s physical pain and sorrow were tossed aside
without effort. Her world and life lay dying in her arms. Raven did not cry. She did not
have the will or the strength to do more than linger on the body of the one she loved.
Could Raven have thought to the future or the past, she may well have wept. She could
not ponder beyond the girl.

Raven was slow to notice when they touched earth. She lowered herself to her
knees, placing Starfire’s immobile hip to the red sand. Raven did not dare take her eyes
off her, and Starfire’s upper body remained cradled in her arms. Starfire’s lungs
exasperated as though there were a thick liquid slowly filling them. Every rise of her
chest compounded Raven’s anguish, but Raven had fallen numb. The emotions within
her had died, it seemed. Only knowledge remained, the knowledge that she could not
leave the side of Starfire. Raven would hold her for as long as she remained in her arms.

As though pulled out from above, a gasp forced it’s way out of the mangled girl.
She arched her back as every muscle clenched with strain. Shock and tears flooded her
face, and Raven found herself looking upon a fully awake Starfire. Her relief quickly
deminished at the first sound of her afflicted cough, so powerful and constant, Starfire
could not take in a breath. Her body began convulsing as the choking grew worse, and all
Raven could think to do was hold her as close as possible. She wrapped her arms fully
around the girl, and brought her into a frantic but controlled embrace, careful not to
obstruct her breathing.

When the storm of coughs subsided, Raven lowered Starfire’s face back into her
field of vision. Her loving eyes lit up when she saw Raven’s face, but the Tamarainian
girl could not stop shaking. Not with the intensity of the spasms, but twitched
uncontrollably in her limbs and head. Raven would have thought she was in fact
shivering, if not for her continued labour for oxygen which testified her physical pain.
Seeing Raven holding her, Starfire smiled through the quivering, but that only seemed to
increase her suffering. She recoiled suddenly, snapped her eyes shut and clenched her
fingers over Raven’s hand.

Although her sobs died in her throat, tears flowed uncontrollably from Raven’s
eyes, and she brought up their interlocked hands to wipe them away. Starfire lacked any
strength in her arm. It was thoroughly limp in Raven’s grasp, but still sent shivers of
delight when brushed against Raven’s cheek.

Raven was not crying for joy of the reunion, rather of knowing the unparalleled
pain Starfire was experiencing. The alien girl’s skin would have felt as though it was
burning to the bone. She had the sensation of being on fire, but her muscles were too sick
with radiation to convey her agony. All of her bodily fluids were now toxic poisons
filling her lungs and stomach through the new breaches in their linings. Raven sickened
herself knowing Starfire may soon drown in her own body.

Raven could not compose herself enough to speak a word. It was Starfire, though
immeasurable effort, who broke the silence. “I am so grateful I am able to look upon you
again.”

Sobbing obstructed Raven’s reply, making it nearly inaudible. “Starfire, I am so
sorry.” Starfire quaintly smiled, this time without any visible pain. The gesture
reinforced Raven. She pushed back her sorrow and all remaining fear and her next words
came without any hesitation. “You have to know how much I love you... how much I am
in love with you.”

“You are?” Starfire’s face shifted from a smile to a euphoric beam. For a
moment, she seemed so full of life that she would be able to effortlessly lift herself off the
ground. But her body stayed as it was, paralysed and unmoving. “Raven, you have made
my final moments my very best!”

“Don’t say that!” Raven barked, but Starfire did not respond to the reprimand at
all, only continued to shine through her trauma. Raven stuttered, pleading with the force
that was beyond the control of either of them. “Please, Starfire, just...”

Starfire looked up at Raven with sympathy. As though it were attached to a lead
weight, her trembling hand brought itself up to gently caress Raven’s face. Raven could
not help but lean into it and savoured every fleeting moment. “Raven my love, I...”
Starfire’s tone shifted drastically, as though reality had taken it’s hold for the first time.
“...I cannot see you.”

Panic found both of them as Raven saw Starfire’s eyes frantically searching for
what was right before her. Her vision was gone, and now with the loss of her beloved’s
sight, Stafire fell into alarm. She grasped for Raven’s face with desperation rather than
tenderness. Raven welcomed it, not knowing what could be done, but the rush of blood
took it’s toll. Starfire’s hand lost it’s grip, her eyes fell back from their search, and her
twitching suddenly subsided.

“Starfire!” Raven clamoured over Starfire’s body. It was quickly losing all signs
of life, but Raven’s reflexive intervention brought the weakest of her back. Another
violent gasp was the only sound of life. Starfire could not raise her head. It lay rested on
Raven’s forearm, but she fully opened her eyes. It was clear they still were not
functioning. Starfire was crossing the threshold out from her place in Raven’s arms. She
began fading again, but Raven would not let the inevitable befall. “Please Starfire,” she
cried. “Keep talking. Please just say something!”

Starfire would not give up, not with Raven here. Her response breathed barely
more audible than a whimper. “I am... scared.”

It was not what she wanted to hear from Starfire, for Raven did not share the
emotion. What Raven felt was her loss creeping up on her. She was not afraid, rather
shattered, for she knew what would come shortly. She envied those with fear. Fear
rooted itself in uncertainty. Starfire’s fate was most certain.

Starfire did not speak anything else. Raven did not push her to, she only ran her
fingers through the matted hair of the girl. It had once been softer than fresh snow, now it
was like dead grass. The next moments brought the same silence the girls once found so
uncomfortable to share. Now between the two of them, no words could have brought
more solace. They watched each other unabided by speech, and neither was ever more at
ease. Starfire and Raven knew each girl was exactly where she should be. They belonged
together.

Tranquillity fractured when a new silence overtook the old. Starfire once again
slipped away, this time more suddenly. The tension that carried the twitching released.
Her eyelids fell shut, her lips gently split open to release the last of her air before her
chest ceased to rise. “Starfire!” Raven’s tearful conniptions did not revive her as they
once did. Starfire’s head slumped backward without will. “...No!”

And as Starfire left this world, terror returned to Raven. Terror because this could
not possibly be their fate. As impossible as it was, Raven knew there was another option
other than death. Outside cause, outside logic, and outside reason, Raven became more
sure of this than anything she had ever been before.

No, Raven understood that death was a certainty, but it did not have to be so for
Starfire. They did not have to share a fate if one would bare it all. Raven laid Starfire’s
body on the ground. She was still breathing, but it was superficial and declined more so
every second. Raven had no time to contemplate her plan.

Her palms spread across Starfire’s chest, Raven focused her telekinesis past what
her eyes could see. She put herself into the flow of Starfire’s blood and the function of
her vitals. From there, she drew away Starfire’s pain. She drew the poison that ran
through her blood and diverted it to the only place it could go. Raven’s skin exfoliated
intensely as the radiation met her veins. She did not know if she could undo the damage
that had been done, but her last act would be her attempt.

Something was wrong. The process was not proceeding quickly enough. Starfire
was fading, and as focused as Raven was, her powers were not doing their full job.
Raven looked down on the palms of her hands. They were covered in deep blisters and
first degree burns. The feeling in her hands was destroyed, the nerves seared away while
Starfire was in her arms. Raven had not noticed the pain, and now their lack of sensitivity
prevented her telekinesis from transferring through.

The flow of her powers was quickest when done through areas of great sensitivity,
like the palms, or chest, or fingers, or...

Or the lips. Starfire’s were open slightly, her involuntary attempt to allow more
air through. Chapped and broken, they were a far cry from the glistening fruits that made
Raven’s knees weak. But they were not any less appealing now.

It may not have been Raven’s only option, but it was her first. She lowered her
head over Starfire’s, grazing her hands through the red hair. Her mouth seemed to
magnetically draw itself to Starfire’s, and as their lips pressed together, Raven’s hardships
vanished. She melted into the kiss, drawing into Starfire and dropping her eyelids in
sensuality.

Starfire’s tender lips gave way to the contact, sinking to the teeth and breaking in
several more places. Raven’s eyes opened again at the feeling of splitting skin, and
looking into the closed eyes of the girl, she suddenly felt ashamed. This was not a kiss. It
was not love. This was her forcing herself on a dying girl to save her life.

Raven’s stern focus returned to her, and she once again called to her powers to
save her friend. She sent the forces her mind running through Starfire’s body, herding
together the toxins that were tearing her body apart. Raven drew them away. She pulled
them through Starfire’s lips and into her own body, and the pain was more than any she
could have guessed. It hit her body like a flaming sword slowly cutting it’s way through
her skin. Raven’s heart jumped with shock and her muscles tensed with agony. She was
not ready for this, Raven had to pull away.

But she did not. She pushed against Starfire harder, drawing more of the poison
into herself. Now Raven’s stomach was beginning to react, the acidic taste of vomit
contaminated her breath. Compounding the fire within her bones and her screaming
insides, she was beginning to slip from consciousness.

Raven fought against it as best she could. But Starfire’s touch shifted from her,
and it took Raven a moment to realise she was falling to her side. Black spots invaded
her sight. She was becoming numb to her intense pain, but it was quickly replaced when
she saw that Starfire was still not moving.

The toxic skin on Raven’s shoulder tore away as it hit the rocky ground. Choking
in the dust, Raven reached for Starfire’s hand. “Thank you, my love.” The hand fell,
dropping lifeless to the ground.