Fan Fiction ❯ The Troublesome Quest For Sanity ❯ more identities and even more trouble [featuring the great GDT] ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: Surprisingly I still don't own Zelda or any related characters.

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[near the Kokiri Forest]

Lady Storm: DIIIIEEEEEE!!!!! [holds up a dagger]

Ganondorf: o_O

Ravi: That's just a reviewer.

Ganondorf: So that means she won't hurt me?

[Lady Storm jumps at Ganondorf and starts strangling him]

Ravi: Uh . . . not necessarily.

Ganondorf: Get it off, get it off!!!

Lady Storm: DIE, STUPID-CHESS-PLAYING-DEATH BRINGING-USELESS-PILE-OF-CRAP!!!!

Ganondorf: Ravi! *cough* Help!!

Ravi: I guess she doesn't like you . . .

Ganondorf: Really? How did you *gasp* figure out?

Ravi: Well, you know . . . it's all in the body language! Things like . . . the insults . . . or the fact that she's going to kill you . . . . it's actually quite obvious.

Ganondorf: Thanks for the *coughgasptriestobreath* support!!

Ravi: You're welcome. ^_^

Mido: Kokiri!! An innocent Hylian is in danger!! ATTACK!!

[five Kokiri with spears run up to Ganondorf and Lady Storm]

Lady Storm: Eeks! [she runs away]

Mido: Are you okay?

Ganondorf: *cough* *gasp* *breathe* I'm fine, thanks.

Mido: Hey . . . actually you don't look like a Hylian.

Ganondorf: *gulp* Uhm . . . I don't?

Kokiri1: Your hair is very . . . red.

Ganondorf: Yeah . . . sure . . . I . . . dyed it.

Kokiri2: And your eyes are orange and have such an . . .

Kokiri3: . . . evil glow!

Ganondorf: Erm . . . contact lenses.

Kokiri4: And your skin is . . . a bit . . . a lot . . . I mean . . .

Kokiri5: . . . green!!

Ravi: Hehe, they got you!

Ganondorf: Shut up!!

Mido: Eh?

Ganondorf: Er . . . yeah . . . uhm . . . that's . . . a rash!

All: Eeeeew!!

Mido: Looks nasty!

Ganondorf: It is!!

Mido: So what are you doing . . .

[just then Saria passes by]

Saria: Hi Ganondorf, also known as the evil Gerudo King of Evil.

All: O.O

Mido: Evil Gerudo King of Evil?

Ganondorf: That was just totally unnecessary.

Mido: KILL HIM!!!!

Ganondorf: WAIT!

Mido: Why?

Ganondorf: Because . . . uhm . . . because . . .

Ravi: Because we are IN FRONT of the Kokiri Forest and when a Kokiri leaves the forest he dies!

Mido: Good point.

All except Ganondorf and Ravi): Aaaaaargs!!! [they die]

Ganondorf: Whew, that was close! Thanks noodle.

Ravi: -_-

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[a few minutes later, Kokiri Forest]

Ravi: Link!

Ganondorf: LINK!

Ravi: LINK!!!

Ganondorf: LINK!!!!!

Ravi+Ganondorf: LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK!!!!!

Random Kokiri: Will you shut up already????

Ravi: Sorry, but could you tell us where we can find Link?

Random Kokiri: What if I don't?

Ganondorf: Then I'll kill you and curse you and your family!!

Random Kokiri: Why would I mind being cursed if I'm already dead?

Ravi: Good point.

Ganondorf: -_-*

Ravi: You must excuse him. He's a bit out of his mind . . .

Random Kokiri: And so is Link. Bye!! [she disappears]

Ravi: That was weird.

Ganondorf: And now?

Ravi: Let's go and see The Great Deku Tree.

Ganondorf: But the last time we met I killed him with a curse. Are you sure that he's going to help me now?

Ravi: Uhm . . . sure.

Ganondorf: Fine. Let's go! ^.^

Ravi: (thinks) Dumbass. MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (says) Okay.

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[at the Great Deku Tree's clearing]

Great Deku Tree: KILLER!!! DEMON!!! MURDERER!!! EVIL CREATURE!!!

Ganondorf: Erm . . . hi.

[the Great Deku Tree slaps Ganondorf with one of his branches and sends him flying high into the air]

Ganondorf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[34 minutes later]

Ganondorf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[57 minutes later]

Ganondorf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[1 hour and 12 minutes later]

Ganondorf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Kokiri: Will you shut up already?????

Ganondorf: Sorry.

[he lands on the same place where he stood before]

Ganondorf: Ouch. Big ouch.

Great Deku Tree: Well, hello then. Have we met before?

Ganondorf: I thought you knew . . . didn't you just . . .

GDT: I did. But that's how I say hello to all of my visitors.

Ganondorf+Ravi: O.O*

Ravi: I wonder what he's going to do to you when he remembers who you are.

Ganondorf: I won't stay to find out.

GDT: Well, how may I help you?

Ganondorf: Help? Haha . . . erm . . . I was just searching for a toilet, so . . . BYE!!

GDT: Wait, my dear friend!

Ganondorf: Huh?

GDT: I know where to find a toilet.

[he opens his mouth]

Ganondorf+Ravi: O_O

GDT: First door to the left, you can't miss it!

Ganondorf: [backs away] Thanks . . . but . . . I . . . don't . . . . .

Lady Storm: HA! There you are!! DIE, EVIL DEMON, DIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!

Ganondorf: GAH!!! [he runs into the mouth of the Great Deku Tree]

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Chapter 5 of The Troublesome Quest For Sanity was brought to you by

Billy Bob's Bob Brushes and

Queenie û