Fan Fiction ❯ The Troublesome Quest For Sanity ❯ drama {spider} queen ( Chapter 12 )

The Disclaimer Scene:

Nuna ur business: I killed her! I killed her! YAY! ^_^

Queenie: [appears] Howdy folks!

Nuna ur business: <__>

Queenie: Did you miss me?

Nuna ur business: No.

Queenie: I missed you too, Freddy!

Nuna ur business: MY NAME IS NOT FREDDY!!!! I'M NOT EVEN MALE!!!!!

Queenie: Are you angry, Freddy?

Nuna ur business: DIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! [grabs a huge bomb]

Queenie: Uhm . . . want some ice cream?

Nuna ur business: YAY! ^_^ [drops bomb]

Queenie: It's snickers ice cream!

Nuna ur business: -_________-

Queenie: Uhm . . . . . . Freddy?

Nuna ur business: [her eyes turn black and she starts to glow in a red light]

Queenie: Freddy? Are you okay? Freddy???

Nuna ur business: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Queenie: O__O [runs away]

Nuna ur business: [runs after her]

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[meanwhile, inside the Great Deku Tree]

Link: . . . . am . . . .afraid . . . of . . . . small . . . . spaces . . .

Kaepora Gaebora: HOWDY!

Link: EEEEEEEEEKS!!!! [skyrockets]

Kaepora Gaebora: I've just swallowed Ravi and so I thought I should try to find you!

Kaepora Gaebora's belly (aka Ravi): GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!

Kaepora Gaebora: Shut up.

Link: . . . . . .

Kaepora Gaebora: And now you must go and fight Ghoma, the evil spider.

Link: SPIDER??? [faints]

Kaepora Gaebora: -_-*

Ravi: But he doesn't need to fight Ghoma, because-

Kaepora Gaebora: Shut up!

Ravi: But Ganondorf-

Kaepora Gaebora: Cut it!

Ravi: It's totally unnecessary to-

Kaepora Gaebora: Silence!! [swallows bomb]

Ravi: Hey, what's that?

- BOOM! -

Ravi: . . . . totally . . . ouch . . . .

Kaepora Gaebora: *burp* Better.

[Kaepora Gaebora drags Link into the Boss Room and leaves]

Ghoma: [sings] 99 bottles of milk in the fridge, 99 bottles of milk. If I drink a bottle then . . . ooooh! A visitor!

Link: [wakes up]

Ghoma: [looks at him with her gigantic eye]

Link: O_O

Ghoma: G'day matey!

Link: EEP! [hides behind a pillar

Ghoma: Oooooh, you wanna play hide and seek! Yay! I'll count to 100!!

Link: o_o

Ghoma: 1, 2 . . . . erm . . . . 1, 2 . . . . uh oh. 1, 2 . . . 3? Yes! 1, 2, 3 . . . erm . . .

Link: die . . . going to . . . . chair . . . never . . . . will die . . . . chair . . . . apple will . . .

[suddenly the ceiling cracks and two guys jump in]

Person1: HAHA! Fear not for it is DUMB!

Ghoma+Link: o.O

Person1: The Delightful Undoing Moron Brigade!

Ghoma+Link: o_O*

Person2: I told you that it's a stupid name!

Person1: Is not!

Person2: Is too!

Person1: Is not!

Person2: Is too!

Person1: IS NOT!

Person2: Dumbass.

Person1: You must excuse my foolish friend, but he's a bit . . . foolish.

Person2: Smart comment. Did you learn that by heart ?

Person1: -_-

Person2: ^_^

Person1: Anyway, my name is GuseBat and this is my ignorant companion Kaibit, who you should feel free to ignore.

Kaibit: Morning.

GuseBat: And now I'll rescue you!!!

Ghoma: Me?

Kaibit: -_-*

GuseBat: LINK!!! Of course!

Ghoma: Aaaaaw . . .

GuseBat: DIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE (A.N.: I like to use that a lot! ^_^) EVIL DEMONIC SPIDER QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! [jumps at the wall and starts to stab it]

Kaibit,Link+Ghoma: o_O

GuseBat: DIE! [pokes wall] DIE! [pokes wall] DIE! [pokes wall]

Link: La da dee . . . . da da dee . . . .

Kaibit: Why me??

Ghoma: Anybody up for Bridge?

[and so Link, Kaibit and Ghoma were playing Bridge while GuseBat was poking the wall]

Ghoma: ROYAL DOUBLE FLASH HOUSE!!

Kaibit: Damn . . .

Link: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

Kaibit: -_-*

GuseBat: DIE! [pokes wall] DIE! [pokes wall] DIE! [pokes wall] DIE! [wants to poke the wall but is too exhausted]

Ghoma: Uhm, did she stop killing "me"?

Kaibit: Apparently.

Link: Uuuuuh . . . . shiny bomb!

Ghoma: Huh?

[Link sees a bomb in GuseBat's bag and grabs it]

GuseBat: HEY!! That's MY bomb!!

[somehow the bomb detonates and sends DUMB, Link and Ghoma flying out of the Great Deku Tree]

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

[they land in front of the Great Deku Tree who doesn't notice because he's sleeping]

Link: Owie! Owie! Big bottom owie!

GuseBat: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Only I am allowed to blow up random things! You're meeeeeaaaaaaaan!!!!

Kaibit: -_-***

Ghoma: ECK! OUCH! AARGS! I am hurt! I am so terribly hurt! I'm mortally injured! I AM GOING TO DIE!! The blood . . . . I see the blood . . . . flowing . . . . red . . . . down my skin. Good bye, cruel world! You've never loved me anyway! I will go back to the earth, where I came from. The being of mine is no longer! Sweet, sweet wind of death, take me away to the clouds where I-

Everyone (except Ghoma): JUST KICK THE BUCKET, GODDAMMIT!!

Ghoma: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! [dies]

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

GuseBat: Uhm . . . . I guess our mission is completed.

Kaibit: You're SO smart!

GuseBat: You're mean!!!

Kaibit: Yeah, so? Wanna tell mommy?

GuseBat: YES!

Kaibit: D'oh!

GuseBat: Anyway . . . . . DUMB - LIGHTER THAN LIGHTNING!!! [they disappear in a puff of smoke]

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Link: Hello?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Link: Anybody there?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Link: Mommy?

[the Great Deku Tree wakes up]

Great Deku Tree: HOWDY!

Link: O.O

Great Deku Tree: Thank you very much, Link. You have broken the evil curse that lay upon me! But you've also blown up all my organs and therefore I'm going to die a painful and cruel death.

Link: Can I have a cookie?

Great Deku Tree: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGS!!!!! [dies]

Link: No . . . . cookie? *sniff*

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Chapter 12 of The Troublesome Quest For Sanity was brought to you by

Willy's Wall Mart and

Queenie û