Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Ephemeral Existence ❯ 06: Fog ( Chapter 6 )

Ephemeral Existence
A C/S Story

Warnings: YAOI, kinda AU, confusion reigns
Disclaimer: I don't own. Phooey.

Chapter 06: Fog

Cloud lay on his fluffy bed, gazing at the light brown ceiling in thought. It had been two hours since that kissing incident; Sephiroth had been the first one to turn away. Cloud still hadn't answered his question and all he had done was watch the silver-haired god walk away from him. It was probably for the better; they both didn't know what they were doing.

Or at least, that's what he thought.

Now it was obvious that they were both confused as though a thick and endless fog inundated their eye visions and their minds. He didn't know what the ex-General's intentions were precisely, though it was possible that the kissing incident was one of Sephiroth's experiments. However, would he risk his own dignity by kissing his puppet? He had kissed Cloud before, but wasn't that the kiss of death?

Wasn't Sephiroth wishing for his damnation?

If he wasn't, then perhaps the situation that Cloud was in, was probably much more complicated than he thought. He had to admit, he was deeply disturbed, baffled, maybe even creeped out by the notion of the ex-General kissing him; despite it, he wanted to know why Sephiroth had done that and hopefully, he was going to find the answers soon. He knew he couldn't stay in his room that Sephiroth had given to him for long.

However, it wasn't just Sephiroth who had confused him, he was also puzzled by his own actions. Why had he kissed back? Had he pitied the older because Sephiroth had seemed so lost and full of sorrow? He would continue to be an enigma to Cloud if Sephiroth didn't reveal his real motives, but perhaps, the question he had for him would be related to one of them.

“Do you think I am… insane?”

Why in the world would the silver-haired man ask him that? That question was stupid! He should know the answer to it! When Sephiroth had destroyed the Planet, when Sephiroth had taken him in to experiment on him, when Sephiroth had kissed him - twice already, what the hell - when Sephiroth had… Cloud shook his head, releasing a long, tired sigh. If he didn't understand Sephiroth one bit, then yes, he would have thought Sephiroth was absolutely insane, but now…

He didn't know anymore.

Cloud rose from the bed and exited his luxurious bedroom. He had to find Sephiroth, because if Sephiroth refused to clear the fog of confusion between them, then Cloud would just have to do that himself, which made him wonder. Would that make him a player of the game or he was like those little bonus things that a player usually received for doing something extra?

“Sephiroth!” he shouted in frustration, his voice echoing across the long, deep passageways of the house. “Where are you?” He started running, panting as he did so, eyes darting left and right. He was more than curious; he was desperate for answers, and dammit, if Sephiroth didn't show up when he wanted him to show up, then who knows what might happen?

He stopped when he reached a large balcony, panting for his breath again. He heard loud footsteps coming closer and closer to him and he straightened himself, gazing at the handsome figure in front of him dazedly. He couldn't see the figure quite clearly due to his blurry vision and tiredness, but this figure had the most entrancing - if his eyes weren't usually passive - silver eyes and soft face. For once, Cloud was spellbound; a part of him wanted to clear that fogginess, but another part of him wanted to remain…in this allure.

What he wanted to do was to reach out, to touch that strange illusion to clarify if it was real or not. He cupped this stranger's chin and he gazed deeply into his eyes. The fog between them withered, realization dawning upon him. He blinked, mouth agape, breathless, and he knew he couldn't pretend that the kiss didn't happen; he just couldn't.

“Cloud,” Sephiroth murmured, somewhat leaning to his touch as though trying to decide for himself if he was real or not. He sounded so pained, and Cloud felt much sympathy for him, but what if that was just another act? Another illusion meant to baffle his brain and twist his thoughts? Yet, something was telling him that this wasn't an act; that this was as real as reality, because it felt real and he could sense the emotional distress the ex-General was in.

“Why?” Cloud inquired softy. “Why did you kiss me?”

And Sephiroth twisted away, letting out a sigh of frustration and shocking Cloud with his sudden change of mood. “I don't know!” he shouted, glaring at scene below the balcony. His hands curled into fists and he squeezed his eyes shut. He took deep breaths, as though attempting to calm himself down. He opened them again, his pose a little more poised. “When I took you in, I had many questions about you as you had for me.”

Cloud inclined his head to the side, staring at Sephiroth, puzzled. “Then why didn't you ask me?”

“I wanted to find out for myself!” Sephiroth shouted again, a deep frown on his face. “I was in denial as Zack believes me to be, because I couldn't accept that you, and the Planet, were equal or at least, parallel to me!” He lowered his head, gazing at the ground as though it was the most interesting thing in the world. His hands unclenched and clenched; his body was trembling. “The experiments, the blood sample, you in the hospital-- they confirmed me that you are just as…”

“Am I really that bad and flawed?” Cloud questioned, feeling his own anger and grief that have been boiling within him for three weeks rise. “You always look at us as flawed codes, as traitors, as slaves and as imperfections when your race itself was as flawed as ours…” he trailed off, his heart beating faster and faster. He made his way over to the silver-haired man and gripped Sephiroth's shoulders tightly. “You can believe whatever you want, but I'm as real as you; I'm not just your toy or your game anymore.”

“Indeed,” Sephiroth murmured, staring at the whiteness of the Promised Land again. “A part of me died when I destroyed the Planet and Zack is right. If I hadn't attacked your world first, and if I kept things quiet, then we didn't really have to contact once again and this whole mess could have been avoided.”

“You can't assume things about us,” Cloud said, smiling. “Sure you can back it up with evidence that a lot of the people in our universe are power hungry and evil, but you can't be really sure, unless you actually dictate our thoughts too.”

Sephiroth blinked, gazing at his puppet dazedly. “Hmm. I thought the people of the Planet could interfere, but I recall Zack telling me that it was getting harder and harder for us to do that.” He paused, putting a finger on his lips. “I could still feel how warm you felt against me…” he trailed off, discomforting Cloud slightly. “…and your lips…so soft… I never thought it would be possible.”

Cloud flushed darkly, inching away from the other man. “Well, it is possible,” he said in a joking tone. “So I guess you're done with me now? That your experiments are finished?”

“Done?” Sephiroth questioned, rising an eyebrow. “There is nowhere else for you to go; everyone hereknows who you are, so I doubt you can start a life here.” He let out a long, tired sigh. “As for my experiments, they're done. However, I've a question for you myself.” He faced his creation, silver eyes clear now, scrutinizing Cloud's. “Why did you kiss me back?”

I can't ignore this; I can't pretend it never happened, because it did, and I don't want to be living in illusions and pretense anymore.

“Why?” Cloud inquired, the red on his cheeks spreading. He shrugged. “I don't know, myself, It's a mystery, so you're not alone.” And there was silence between them, the awkward kind as though they had engaged in that flirtatious act again. Cloud could still remember the way Sephiroth had kissed him; it was…strange…but everything about him was strange. “So are we going to pretend that it didn't happen?”

“That would only make the situation worse,” Sephiroth said, leaning against the edge of the balcony. “Besides, I do not regret that it happened.”

“Err, really?” Cloud questioned, startled by that comment. He copied his idol's movements, also leaning against the edge of the balcony so he could look at the rather plain scenery down there. “What about the first time? What was that about?”

“That,” Sephiroth said, smiling in amusement, “was my first experiment on you. What do you think it was?”

“Ah, I thought it was a symbol for the kiss of death or something,” Cloud said, feeling embarrassed. He shouldn't be surprised that Sephiroth had attempted to play with him with those ridiculous experiments. It was amusing, really, because Sephiroth had needed that much evidence to prove his existence.

“It's a probable assumption,” Sephiroth commented, smiling. “I never thought you would look at it that way. I'm surprised you didn't overreact when I had kissed you in the final battle.”

“How was I supposed to react? A lot of my friends died; my world was gone; I was shell-shocked,” Cloud muttered darkly, mentally grieving for them again. If he and Sephiroth could get along and set aside their differences, then what was going to happen to Zack? And was the game between them finally over? Or it was just commencing?

“True,” Sephiroth remarked, turning away from the balcony. “I must get back to work; in all honesty, I haven't been able to focus on them because of you and the experiments I had for you.” He grabbed Cloud's wrist, pulling him close again. “And you're going to contribute to it.”

“What? Why?”

“You ask too much; be quiet and follow me.”

--

All right, one of the subplots is resolved! O_o that was quick, but more are going to come! C/S is so love. This chapter was longer than the others. O.O

Cloud/Zack is on the way!