Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Fairy Tales - FF8 version ❯ Fairy Tales series number one - Snow White ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, Squaresoft does.

Author's notes: I'm just being playful. So there's slight bashing everywhere for everyone. Please don't flame me for that, OK? Btw, depending on how you see it, there can be slight hints of shonen-ai here, so be warned.

Here we go!

Fairy Tales series number one -
Snow White- the FF8 version
by Konekomh

Once upon a time there was a kingdom by the sea called Balamb. The whole country was in joy as the Queen was expecting her baby.

On a snowy day (it snows in Balamb?? Whatever…) as the beloved Queen was sitting by the window sewing she noticed a bunch of free ranged chocobos running across the Garden, creating havoc all over the place.

Being caught off guard the needle stung her. The Queen dropped some blood onto the snow. Instead of patching herself up the Queen said, "Oh, how I wish my child to be fair like snow, rosy like the blood and cute and energetic like those chocobos."

Soon, the Queen gave birth to a boy. They name him Zell after his grandfather who was the hero of the kingdom.

To the amazement of everyone, the boy was fair as snow, rosy as blood and as cute as a chocobo could be. And even more to that, the Prince was so full of energy that he was kicking and waving from dawn to dusk, only becoming quiet during the tranquil night for some sleep. Everyone simply "adored" him.

Some time passed and the day had come that the Queen had decided to go to the kitchen to do her best dish - Balamb fish. And it was this day she called upon a professional baby sitter named Adel who claimed she could handle all sorts of kids, even those as hyper as our little Prince Zell.

True to her words, even adults were subdued when they saw her. She was big and muscular. From her looks, one might even mistake her for a man if it were not for her "beautiful" red hair. Everyone was awe struck as they saw the power emanated from her mere presence.

On entering the palace, Adel had brought with him, excuse me, her a magic mirror, a mirror which was *supposed* to tell nothing but the truth.

Every night, she would stand in front of the mirror and asked,

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of all."

And the mirror would say, after some hesitation, for it feared it might be shattered if it had said something wrong,

"Thou, my lady, art ze fairezt of all."

And she would be contented, for she knew the mirror was *supposed* to tell the truth, right?

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Time had gone by quickly and little Prince Zell had grown into a really energetic teenager as his mother had wished for. One day, feeling artistic, Zell brought with him a spray can and sneaked into Adel's room. Upon seeing the shiny mirror which looked as if it were sneering at him, Zell started to do some graffiti on it. Seeing that his work was perfected, Zell happily sneaked back to his Garden, not realizing his "expression of his emotion" would mean his very own downfall…

As the night came, Adel went back to her mirror. Out of the mirror's surprise, Adel did not seem to notice its new look as she chanted,

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of all."

Feeling vengeful, the mirror couldn't care less about it existence anymore and it replied,

"Oh my lady, though fair ye be, Choco Zell iz far fairer to zee. To keep thyzelf happy, better rid of him to the zea."

"What??" Adel was in rage now and she immediately went to Zell's room, dragged him out of the bed, tied him on a raft and threw him all the way to the centre of the ocean. (Never mind how that was even possible.) And she let out a menacing grin as she saw the storm approaching soon, very soon.

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Zell squinted as he opened his eyes. He was lying on a beach and the sun was shining merrily on him. It had been a few days since he was practically thrown out of the palace. The storm had been awful but luckily, the raft didn't overturn even once throughout the trip.

Finding his strength coming back, Zell squirmed out of the bundle of ropes and located a white cottage near a lighthouse. His stomach grumbled as he smelled food. Quickly he made his way to the little house.

"Hello, anyone's there?" Zell poked his head through the unlocked door.

Silence.

Zell walked into the cottage and immediately he was drawn to the food on the table, ready to be served. He swallowed. Couldn't resist his hunger any longer, the Prince made himself a pig, wolfing from every single plate for he mentally didn't wish to take everything from one, but eventually he took everything from every single one. ~sign~

Totally satisfied, the blond made his way further into the cottage and saw some beds.

"mmm… one… two… three… four… five… six… seven…" and he dropped onto the bed that looked most tidy and dozed off from his count.

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A couple of hours later, the inhabitants of the cottage came back and soon discovered that they had a visitor.

"Who has eaten my food??" They all looked around to find any traces of the culprit, except for one who perpetually felt sleepy after a whole day's battle against a maniac called Ultimecia who kept on "kursing" the seeds in their garden.

"… whatever…" and he made his way to his bed.

Unfortunately the brunette's wish to sleep wasn't granted as he found Zell lying on his bed, wet and smelly. Feeling annoyed, he cried out, "Matron~~~~!!"

Zell stirred in his sleep as the group gathered around him. He burst into tears almost immediately when he opened his eyes to find a bunch of people glaring at him.

"Oh, it's a crying baby…" one of them commented, looking smug.

"Cut that out, lapdog. Just silence him, got that? I'm running out of spells." The sleepy looking brunette retorted.

"Don't call me lapdog, kitten. YOU are the one who scares him with your haunting looks, YOU make sure he quiets down, Sleepy-lion-head."

"Kids~?" The oldest one with long black hair put in timidly.

"For the last time, I'm not a kitten. My name is Squall and you'd better stay away from your childish act." Squall grayish blue eyes darken with rage.

"Oh yeah? Make me." Seifer sneered.

"Kids?" The lady interrupted, a bit louder this time.

The rivals both drew their gunblades at the same time, ready for a duel.

"Seifer, don't injure your partner." Quistis, otherwise known as Instructor, warned.

"Sleepy-lion-head vs Socceress Lapdog. Which side would you place your bet on?" Irvine, a guy with wavy long hair announced while placing his arm over Selphie's shoulder.

"Seifer! Squall! Don't. I'm torn between you two. You don't need to fight to show that you love me!!" Rinoa, the girl with ebony hair wailed with her puppy eyes directed at the two, who took no notice of her at all.

"CHILDEN! STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY!!" The black hair lady was effectively yelling at the top of her lungs. Charges were sparkling between her fingers while her hair stood on its end, making her look creepy as hell.

Silence came almost immediately.

All of them froze, including Zell, who was crying like crazy. Never anger a Socceress, particularly one who might be going through, ahem, a certain stage in her life.

"That's much better." The socceress commented as she walked to sit by Zell, "Sorry for scaring you. My name's Edea, what's yours?" Edea wiped the tears off his chin tenderly. "Zell. Sob. Zell Dincht."

"Ok, Zell. Why are you here?"

The blond took a deep breath and told them everything.

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"That's how I got here."

Silence.

Recovering from her shock from hearing something so horrible, Edea said she let Zell stay provided he helped with chasing away the monsters and finding food. Zell agreed immediately by nodding his head off, almost. And the gang made their way to their beds, stomach empty as Zell had finished it off already.

Where am I gonna sleep? Squall asked himself as he regarded the smelly Zell, happily occupying his bed.

~sign~ Whatever, Seifer's the biggest. Pushing Seifer roughly towards the side, Squall edged himself on the other.

"Hey!" Seifer turned to complain.

"Don't." Squall whispered as he immediately dozed off.

Feeling mutual, Seifer didn't move, "alright, I'm also tired as hell." And for once, there was silence for the whole night.

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So for a whole week Zell had been spending with the seven people, he kept his promise in chasing away the monsters. Sometimes he would help out by catching fishes. Edea took what they found to sell.

Adel, believing that Zell was gone, and that she was again the most beautiful lady in the world, went to her mirror and said,

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of all."

Then the angry mirror, still not cleaned as Adel was obsessed in her own look, answered,

"O Lady though fair ye be, Choco Zell iz far fairer to zee. Over the ocean, far away, he dwellz with the Kurzed children today."

How angry she was, for she never doubted the mirror's words. She thought and thought how she might get rid of the Prince, so that she could be the most beautiful of the world forever more.

At length she decided what to do. She painted herself, hid her long hair under a wig of chocolate brown hair, put on a pair of glasses and dressed like a headmaster so that no one would recognize her. And then she sailed across the ocean and saw Zell sitting on a rock fishing.

"Hello kid, what are you doing here?" Adel asked.

"Fishing. Man, this is boring, the others have gone for the monsters today." Zell, signed, he preferred fighting against the monsters on a beautiful day like this. It was not in his nature to sit still and wait for the fish to come.

"Would you like to hear a story? I've lots to share."

Zell's eyes glistened with hope as he didn't have anything more interesting to do.

"Okay, I'm all ears."

The man sat down by his side and started to read from his book.

"Blah… blah… blah…"

Unknown to Zell, the book was cursed with spells of death and soon the boy started to feel his eyes heavy. Aw man, that's boring… Zell wanted to stop the man but he could not say a single word. Every single muscle was heavy to lift. Soon darkness took over and Zell lied still on the ground, literally bored to death.

Towering over the blonde, Adel kicked him at the side, making sure that he was gone for good.

"Muahahaha… Now," said Adel, "I am once more the most beautiful in the world." And she went away.

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When the seven came back for the night, they found that they had no fish to eat. So Seifer asked, "Where's the Chickenwuss? He's responsible for the fish!"

"Whatever… you can eat something else." Squall retorted.

"Now would you two be a dear and bring Zell back. He might have lost his way." Edea said in her motherly tone, patting the boys on the shoulders.

"Why…" They were both cut off as Edea transformed into Socceress Edea with a gigantic icicle hanging in the air.

The boys gulped and without a word, hastily picked up their gunblades and started out for Zell. They soon located the blond near the lighthouse where he always went fishing.

"What the…? We come all the way here only to find him dosing his head off?" Seifer was enraged and he kicked Zell several times. "Wake up, Chickenwuss, I'm gonna kill you for this."

No response.

Squall cocked his head to the side and moved over to check Zell out. "Damn," he turned to Seifer with a deep frown which meant trouble, "he needs a CPR!"

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After what seemed like eternity, the troublemaker woke and noticed he was lying in his bed, well, Squall's bed to be exact. But the Lion had given it up as he found it stunk like hell after Zell had been drooling all over it the first day he came.

Zell sat up and saw the rivals sitting by either side of the bed sleeping like children until they both stirred as they sensed movements.

"What happened?" Zell asked.

"You were dead." Seifer offered bluntly.

Zell's eyes widen so much that the eyeballs could have dropped off.

"Luckily the sleepyhead over there kissed you back to life."

"Seifer! It wasn't a kiss!" The brunette was blushing, fearing the others might hear.

"You were the one blowing air into him, right? Anyway, Chickwuss, tell us what happened."

Zell told them the story as the others joined in.

"Oh that was horrible, Zell." Edea stroked him like a baby, "I think the book had the death spell in it. When a socceress reads it aloud, people would be bored to death almost immediately." The lady cupped his face in both hands, "Listen to me, don't let any stranger come to you again, got that? It could have been Adel in disguise." Zell nodded and everyone set off to work.

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No sooner had she arrived at the palace Adel stood before the mirror,

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of all."

The mirror located Zell and shook, if it was capable of at all, and then hissed,

"O Lady though fair ye be, Choco Zell iz far fairer to zee. Over the ocean, far away, he dwellz with the Kurzed children today."

Adel was furious, "so he had come back to life again. I'll make sure he's done in for good this time." She dashed off to the lab and began making something hideous with her magic.

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It had been another week since the incidence. Zell was again sitting on a rock fishing when a bulky man came up to him.

"How are you doin'?" The man asked.

"I'm sorry but I'm not allowed to talked to any stranger." Zell said apologetically as he started to pack.

"My name is Rajin, you know. Now I'm no stranger to you, you know."

Zell smiled and reached out for a handshake, he was glad someone has come to talk with him. It had been a long day without talking with anyone.

"My name's Zell. Nice to meet you." He brushed back his bangs as he resumed his fishing. How he missed his hair gel. No one in the cottage needed it except for Seifer who had been a meanie as always. He wouldn't risk his dignity only for some hair gel.

"Look, I can see you need some hair gel. I've got some, you know." Rajin pulled out a tube from his backpack and showed it to Zell. "I can give it to you if you want, you know."

"Oh… that's very kind of you. Can I try it?" Zell was overjoyed. He was never like himself without the hair gel. Immediately he squeezed out a generous amount and smoothed it over his hair. Pulling it up in its customary shape.

Unknown to the blond Rajin was in effect Adel in disguise and she had poisoned the hair gel that Zell was happily using. Within seconds the Prince was lying flat on the rock again as the poison worked its way through. Adel happily left, contented that she would once again be the model of beauty.

But fortunately it was almost time for the rivals to come out for Zell, and as soon as they came over and found Zell lying on the ground they guess the wicked Adel had been there again, and they set to work to find out what was wrong.

They soon saw the tube in Zell's hand and noted his hairdo. Signing, Squall let Seifer took care of the fishes in the bucket and grabbed Zell to soak his head in it. Zell almost recovered immediately when the water washed off the poison and he struggled to get up, coughing and choking as he told them what happened.

Once more they warned him to be on guard while Squall snatched a tube of hair gel from Seifer's collection and handed it to Zell, fearing he might do something stupid.

When the socceress went home *again* she found that Zell was safe and sound *again*.

In rage, she locked herself into the lab *again* to research for something more hideous.

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This time, Adel disguised herself as a petite, good-looking girl with a pigtail (don't ask me how). Making sure that everyone was gone except for Zell who had been recovering from the poison last night, she knocked at the door.

Zell put his head out of the window, and said, "Sorry I must not let anyone in; I'm forbidden to do so."

"It's all the same," answered the girl as she smiled charmingly to Zell, showing him her basket, "this is the last hotdog I've got for sale today and I'd like to make it a present to you. Is that alright?"

"Are you sure? I… I mean… " Aw… how cute she is, thought Zell as he stuttered.

"Don't be shy. How about this, I cut it in half and we can share." The girl with pigtail offered.

Now, one side of the knife was coated with poison so that when the hotdog was cut into half, one side was poisoned while the other was not. Zell longed for the hotdog for it was his favourite food which was not available here in Centra. Seeing that the girl had bitten into her half, Zell stretched out his hand and took the other half. But no sooner had he tasted it than he fell down dead.

Adel laughed out loud and cleared the scene. "This time, even a socceress cannot awaken you! Muahahaha…"

And she went straight home and asked her mirror,

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of all."

And at length it answered happily,

"Thou, my lady, art ze fairezt of all."

So her envious heart had peace at last and she left the palace for outer space where she would claim the title of the most beautiful in the universe.

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When the gang came back home at night they found Zell lying on the ground dead. They started to look for anything suspicious but they found nothing. Even when he was dumped into a cold bath Zell showed no response. They had tried all methods available and still it didn't work.

When the time came that he should be laid in the ground Zell's cheeks were still rosy red, and he looked just as though he were still living.

"So we've failed this time." Seifer said, uncharacteristically solemn.

"Yeah," Squall nodded, with Rinoa sobbing in his chest, making him all wet.

"Why don't we try the kissing trick?" Selphie suddenly popped up with a book of fairy tales in hand. "It says when the prince kissed the pretty dead, well, pretty but dead princess, she awakes and they lived happily ever after."

"Where do we find a prince, or maybe a princess in this case?" Irvine asked, "we are sort of running out of people here."

"Perhaps I can try," Rinoa sobbed. "I was called Princess, remember? But I don't want to live with him happily ever after. You guys will make sure of that for me, ok?" And so she took a deep breath and kissed Zell on the lips in split seconds, as if fearing that she might catch some nasty disease from it.

"When was she ever a princess?" Quistis whispered into Squall's ear as he shrugged, "it doesn't hurt to let her try. Maybe her breath can do the job." Seifer chuckled in the background.

Apparently Rinoa's quest failed as Zell didn't stir a single bit.

"I thought it worked…" Selphie signed, feeling defeated for a second, but then she suddenly brightened up when the light bulb above her head clicked on.

"I know, we need a real prince here and that'll be…" Playing suspense Selphie pointed around, from one side to another, they all tensed when the finger stopped once in a while. Finally it stopped, "YOU! Squall!" Selphie said with a wide grin. "You're the real prince here. King Laguna's your dad, right? You must be able to undo the spell! Booya!"

"But…" Squall didn't noticed that they all knew of his heritage as he had ran away from his home years ago.

"It doesn't hurt to try." Seifer winked at him and pushed his back. Losing his balance Squall stumbled over and hit his lips over Zell's. As miraculous as a miracle could be, Zell opened his eyes at once and wrapped his limbs all over his saviour.

"Oh, how much I love you. I would be dead for good if it were not for you. Thank you thank you thank you." Zell nuzzled his cheek against Squall's and started to kiss him.

"Stop it." Squall tried to pry himself off but in vain as Zell's muscles were much stronger than his were.

"Save me." Kiss.

"Help!" Kiss kiss.

"Someone!!" Kiss kiss kiss.

"ANYONE!!!!!!!!"

"Nooooooo way." Seifer towered over the couple and taunted, "It's a scene of a lifetime to see Squall begging for help, right guys?" Everyone burst into laughter and Seifer couldn't stop the tears coming out from the corners of his eyes.

But then the smug blond suddenly subdued when Rinoa hung herself onto his arms, "Yeah, I won't have to worry about which one I have to choose now." She giggled and winked at Seifer.

Seifer stared at the girl who hanged onto him like a leech and whimpered.

And so everyone lived happily ever after.

"HELP!!!!!!!!!"

Except for some. ^_^

~ The End ~

Thanks for reading. See ya next time!

konekomh@yahoo.co.uk