Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Final Fantasy VII : Atonement ❯ Chapter 17 - Flashbacks Begin ( Chapter 17 )

Disclaimer: Those hotties ain't mine!

Author's Note: I hope these next chapters aren't boring to read…they weren't boring to write, but if you have played the game, this will sound a little repetitive. Oh well, another necessity. Try not to hate me. The next couple of chapters will be Sephiroth basically talking the whole, damn time.

Chapter 17 - Flashbacks Begin

"The mission at Nibelheim started out pretty average, compared to the war that had just ended. I was assigned the mission, along with another first class SOLDIER and three ShinRa cadets. We were instructed to investigate a series of monster complaints near Mt. Nibel, where one of ShinRa's many Mako Reactors had been built several years before. The drive there was rainy and dismal, with one monster encounter. I quickly dispatched the Dark Dragon that blocked our path, while Zack and the cadets watched. They were all young and inexperienced. If I remember correctly, Cloud was a mere teenager at 16. In battle, I was a trained killing machine, programmed to take out the assigned enemy.

"The remainder of the drive was uneventful. We arrived in Nibelheim late that night. Cloud mentioned that Nibelheim was his hometown. He asked me about my parents and I told him the truth. My mother's name, I had been told, was Jenova. Professor Hojo had been announced to me as my father, but I never accepted that, so I simply laughed and changed the subject. I refused to fully believe that such a disgusting, twisted man could truly be anyone's father.

"I allowed Cloud to take a break and see his old friends, but he didn't take his helmet off until he entered his home. I think he was too embarrassed to show his face to anyone but his mother. Although he was a hard worker and a good soldier, ShinRa never believed he was cut out to become a true member of SOLDIER. Zack, a member of SOLDIER, with a heart of fire, was my 2nd in command, as usual. I guess you could say we were comrades.

"Although Cloud looked up to me more, I think he connected more personally to Zack as a man with fire in his blood, trying to make his mark on the world.

"Cloud made a quick stop to talk to his mother and took a peek inside of Tifa's house. I imagine that he'd once had a crush on Tifa, but she was nowhere to be found. I watched his inner struggle from the 2nd floor window of the inn. Soon, everyone was inside the inn to prepare for the journey to Mt. Nibel's Mako Reactor.

"I had already met Tifa, who was to be our guide, and I introduced her to Zack and the cadets, including Cloud, who refused to speak or remove his helmet. After a quick photo of Tifa, Zack, and myself, we set off for the mountain peak, leaving one of our cadets in town to wait for us.

"The trip up started rocky as the bridge connecting two of the mountains snapped under our weight. I managed to swing our half of the bridge towards a ledge that jutted out the side of the mountain, but Tifa quickly pointed out that one cadet was missing. I assumed he'd fallen into the gorge, and insisted we move on. All members of the ShinRa military force agree to certain risks, and we didn't have time to waste on a hopeless cause.

"Tifa knew of a series of caves that ran through the mountains and led us to an entrance. We traveled up the Mako-infused caves towards the top. Eventually, we reached the Mako Reactor, stopping only to dispose of a few small, yet assertive, monsters.

"By ShinRa protocol, I assigned the remaining cadet, Cloud, with the task to stay with Tifa outside the Reactor while Zack and I investigated inside.

"The scene started out familiar; a pool of glowing green Mako pulsed below the metal bridge that led further into the reactor. A series of metal pods were lined up in rows in the next room, each filled with Mako. Normally, this Mako was condensed and purified into materia within these pods, and each pod produced a different type of materia. However, there was something wrong. People, or what used to be people, had been placed inside of the pods. Due to the high levels of purified Mako, their bodies had mutated into forms that were barely human. Some of them had sprouted tentacles; others had grown extra limbs and eyes. Their hands had grown claws, and many had lizard-like tails. Zack fell to his knees in shock at the sight. I was disgusted. I was appalled.

"I quickly came to the conclusion that this had been Hojo's work. Hojo had recently been made lead scientist for ShinRa after the recent death of Professor Gast, the only person I had ever trusted. Hojo would never be as great a scientist as Professor Gast was, and this confirmed that. His twisted idea had hurt innocent people. He had gone way too far. I hated him.

"And then I noticed something else. Looking past the rows of pods, I saw a large red door. Written above the door in a kind of beckoning arc read `Jenova.'

"Jenova? I thought I had possibly misread it. My eyes must have been fooling me, and yet there it was, clear as crystal. My mother's name was written above that door. I didn't understand. Maybe I thought my mother was actually alive and was living within the Mako Reactor. Whatever I thought was useless, however, as the door wouldn't budge and I couldn't find what secrets lay behind it.

"Yet my mind reeled. I panicked. If my mother was here, why was she with these monsters? Hojo had told me he was my father. I had always felt different, somehow apart from everyone else. What if Hojo had actually created me? I didn't know what to do. In my anger, I unsheathed Masamune, my long sword, and began to unleash my fury on one of the metal pods. Zack had to leap away from my blade as I relentlessly poured my energy into its steel paths that clanged against the metal.

"I cursed aloud. I cursed my existence. I cursed Hojo. All the anger, sadness, and loneliness flooded out in those few moments. When I finally let my sword drop to my side in exhaustion, my shoulders were heaving from my labored breathing.

"My journey back from the mountain is a blurry memory. I spent most of it pondering what to do next. Cloud and Tifa seemed oblivious to my fragile state of mind. I asked Tifa if she knew about her town's history. I was hoping she would know something about Jenova, but instead she told me of a mansion that an executive of ShinRa had used to live in.

"And then I remembered. I know who had lived in that mansion, and who it now belonged to.

"Gast had used to own that mansion. It now belonged to Hojo.

"I remember entering the dimly lit house, which reeked of dust, mold, and stale air. I searched the home for information and discovered a passageway in one of the bedrooms. It led to an old wooden staircase that curved downward in a tight spiral. At the bottom, I followed the basement hallway and found two doors. One was locked, but the other, at the very end, was open. I walked through the door and found exactly what I was looking for. I found Hojo's laboratory.

"Perhaps it was only my imagination, but I remember the stench of blood in the air as I looked around the old lab. All of the walls were lined with books. I pulled one off the wall and began to read. I was horrified by what I discovered.

"I read through every book that night, not stopping for food or sleep. Zack found me downstairs eventually while I was reading a book about the Jenova Project. I asked him to leave me, and he obeyed my wishes. I read, and read, and read. As I finished the final book, I sat behind Hojo's desk in shock. I thought I knew the truth.

"The truth I found snapped my soul in two. At the time, I couldn't deal with it. Instead of looking for help and guidance, I wanted to take matters into my own hands. I felt betrayed by the world. I hated Gast for not telling me. I hated Hojo for defiling me. But most of all, I hated myself for what I was. My spirit broke and my mind soon followed.

"It was my weakest moment. And it was in that moment that she attacked me."