Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Okay, Now You Totally Need Some Therapy 'Cause You've Definitely Played WAY Too Much FF8 When... ❯ One-Shot

Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing… not even the computer I'm typing this from (although it's in my room, it's not mine ïŒ ) Squaresoft owns FF8 and all the characters… until I take it over! Mwahahaha.

Author's Notes: After a somewhat long break from writing cause of studying… I'm BAAAAACK! What do you get when you mix 3 weeks of studying, 1.5 weeks of exams, a couple cans of sugary drinks, paper, pen, a pinch of insomnia, and Ethereal Fury? You get this, `Okay, Now You Totally Need Some Therapy Cause You've Definitely Played WAY Too Much FF8 When…' the long-awaited *snicker* unofficial sequel to `You've Definitely Played Too Much FF8 When…". The first one got really good reviews so I decided it was time I wrote another one. What? You haven't read the first one? Shame, shame, shame on you! You're gonna do it straight after you finish this one, right? Anyhow, here are more signs that signify you've been playing too much Final Fantasy. This may or may not be funnier than the first one; read, review, add suggestions, or tell me to stick to romance… or tell me to quit writing altogether. Thanks! This one's for you Starlette!

Okay, Now You Totally Need Some Therapy Cause You've Definitely Played WAY Too Much FF8 When…

By: Ethereal Fury

You name your cat MiniMog

You try to teach your friends to play Strip Triple Triad

You and your little brother get into a fight over who's cuter-Carbuncle the GF or Pikachu the Pokémon (I must say that's close… they're both awfully cute!)

You get mad at your older sister because she can't pronounce `Quezacotl' properly

You go up to the Russian student in your class and solemnly tell them `Kurse all SeeDs, swarming like lokusts akross generations' because you think Ultimecia sounds Russian

You name your pet hamster Ulty

You dress up like Ultimecia and try to convince your friends that it's the super-duper-mega cool futuristic style

You think Ultimecia should audition for a shampoo commercial cause she's got such nice hair

You wonder how Selphie survived in Trabia Garden with her yellow mini-dress when it's so freaking cold there

`Super-duper-mega' precedes all your adjectives

You can come up with 5 reasons for Zone's constant stomachaches

You design new uniforms for the Estharians cause theirs are oh-so-tacky

You finally make up you mind about Adel's gender (the jury's still out on that one, and I've had the game for years)

You and your friends have heated debates over whether Squall has Laguna's or Raine's eyebrows

You figure out why Squall and company get to wear casual clothes while everyone else has on either Garden or SeeD uniforms

You show up in school without your uniform (my school's got one… damned private schools) and when your principal tells you to go home and change, you claim "Hey, it's not fair! Instructor Trepe doesn't say anything when Seifer and Squall don't wear their Garden uniforms! And neither does Cid! You're a super-duper-mega MEANIE!!". He decides you don't have to go home after all… that it'd be better if you headed to the mental hospital

You refuse to eat turkey on Thanksgiving cause it looks like Boco the Chicobo

You write fanfics starring the Chocobo Boy.

And most of the aforementioned fanfics (#17) are of the NC-17 type.

You ask your friend to get you your crush's ring so people will get the wrong idea about you two

You hang off a cliff and expect your crush to save you. Sadly, before he even realizes you exist, you fall off the aforementioned cliff… and since the human is the only animal to stumble thrice over the same stone, as soon as your broken bones mend, you go hang off another cliff.

Basically, you get into any sort of trouble and expect him to rescue you. You are seriously befuddled when he doesn't… but it worked for Rinoa!!

You forget to do your homework and claim your GFs made you forget. When you're down at the principal's office, you tell him he won't understand cause he hasn't had any experience with junctioning. Now, he is absolutely positive you belong in the loony bin (actually, so am I)

You get 100% in all your tests in hopes that your SeeD rank will go up

You wander around aimlessly, waiting for the moment when your SeeD salary is received so your home-made gunblade (kitchen knife plus gun) can be upgraded to Lionheart by adding a blue glow-stick to it

You learn Latin so you can understand the lyrics to Liberi Fatali

You get into a catfight with your friend cause she says that Diablos and Siren make a cuter couple than Ifrit and Shiva, and that's, like, so totally not true!

You write a GF lemon

You conclude that Diablos gets his buff body from working out at the gym when you're not summoning him

You and your FF-crazy friends form a rock band called `The Brothers'

You develop a fondness of kicking people's shins just for the hell of it (boy, that's lots of fun!)

You learn to read Ward's facial expressions

Wedge and Biggs become your role models and mentors. Your goal in life is to become a lieutenant in the army

You begin to think Laguna is intelligent

You walk around going Fithos *scary music* Lusec *scary music* Wecos *scary music yet again* Vinosec *you guessed it, scary music* in an increasingly high tone

Whenever you go to a party, you stand off by yourself in a corner and wait for a cute girl (or guy) to come and try to hypnotize you into dancing with them. You don't dance for the whole duration of the party cause normal people don't do that

You try casting Silence on your oh-so-boring physics teacher but it fails and you end up being sent out of class (I tried that with my chemistry teacher, but she didn't hear… and it didn't work)

You use Punnett Squares to work out all the possible eye-hair color combinations Squall and Rinoa's kids may have (you'll only understand this if you know something about genetics… and um, I've done this to some extent)

You do your makeup like Adel's for the prom. People run away from you screaming in horror and the guys at the entrance to the hotel where your prom is held flatly refuse to let you in. You wonder why.

You learn the dance the dancers at the Sorceress parade do and try it out in one of your school dances. The day after, everyone avoids you like the plague and you seem to be followed by men in white coats

You try to feed your FF8 game Viagra in hopes that Squall will get some hormones. You end up with a very horny Cid

You write one of these fics

You understand and find the humor in all or almost all of the items of this list

You've done more than one of the things on this list

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A/N 2: So there you have it… if you've done some of the things here, you need to go see a shrink. Big time. Actually, forget the shrink and come join me in the mental institution… it gets so lonely without visits! ;_; So… love it? Hate it? Want it off the site? Got suggestions? Done any? Whatever you have to say, I'd love to hear it, so take the time to write a review. Thanks for taking the time to read it