Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Second Fantasy ❯ The first day of Insanity ( Chapter 2 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Dragon Slayer and Dragon Master 
Tifa's anger about not leveling up, the Durks, Sephiroth' weak character, and attack of the Touch Me's...you know the enemy from FF7...
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 06.25.2003 | Pages: 9 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 195 | Status: Completed
Tifa's anger about not leveling up, the Durks, Sephiroth' weak character, and attack of the Touch Me's...you know the enemy from FF7...
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Crossover | Uploaded On: 06.25.2003 | Pages: 9 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 195 | Status: Completed
Second Fantasy
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. All characters are property of SquareSoft/Square-enix
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*At the SphereSoft studio*
Director: Good to meet all of you, I am the director of Second Fantasy
Squall: ...whatever
Director: Yeah, okay...First Scene: Where Cloud/Squall meet Tifa and her Ex-boyfriend Sephiroth
Sephiroth: What the...
Tifa: Okay...
Squall: ...whatever
Cloud: *Holding out the rubber duck and ketchup bottle* Boom Boom! Ketchup bottle has damage Rubber duck station 9, prepare for full on assault! Rubber duckie attack the Ketchup bottle....
Everybody: *looks at Cloud*
Cloud: *Hides the Rubber Duck and Ketchup* What?
Director: Anyway....Let the Scene begin, just read off your script
Tifa: So, Sephiroth...you found me....
Sephiroth: I shall get my revenge on you for breaking up with me...
Tifa: What should I do? *Looks at Choice box*
A) Run away
B) Kick him in the balls, then run away
C) Say "I still want you, lets go test out your love"
Tifa: ???? (What the heck?) B! *Kicks Sephiroth in the balls then runs*
Sephiroth: X_X *Faints*
Tifa: Oh...Hi strangers!
Cloud: Hi!
Squall: ...whatever
Director: SQAULL!!!!!!! Your not a good hero, I have another part for you
Squall: ...whatever...*Walks away*
Cloud: JUST ME AND MY DUCKIE!!!!
Everybody: *Looks at Cloud*
Cloud: I mean..just me...yeah...the hero
Director: Lets start that scene again
Sephiroth: Oh...god....
Tifa: *Kicks Sephiroth in the Balls again and runs*
Sephiroth: X_X *Falls on the ground* ...why...
Cloud: Rubber Duckie, it's just you and me! *Dances with the Rubber Duck in his hands*
Director: CUT!!!! Cloud?
Cloud: What? *Hides the Rubber Duck*
Director: Okay, again!
Sephiroth: ....I...hate...you....
Tifa: This is Fun! *Kicks Sephiroth in his balls and runs*
Sephiroth: X_X....*Falls on the ground*....o...u...c...h...
Director: CUT!!!!!!!! Your not supposed to say 'This is Fun!'
Tifa: Sorry...
Director: Again..
Sephiroth: NO!!!!!!! NEVER!!!!!!
Tifa: *Kicks Sephiroth in the balls and runs*
Sephiroth: X___________X *faints*
Tifa: Oh...Hi Stranger
Cloud: (Ooh...Choice box)
A) Say "Hi!"
B) Say "Hey Bitch! Wanna go see my room?"
C) Say "I work for social security, you have ten seconds to retire your monkey"
Cloud: hehe... I work for social security, you have ten seconds to retire you monkey!
Tifa: Oh..Your funny *Sees Choice boxes come up*
A) Say "Save me from that monster" *point to Sephiroth*
B) Say "Lets run before he comes back"
C) My monkey is on vacation
Tifa: (Hmm...I need one more choice) *Scribbles in Choice D)
D) Kick Sephiroth in the balls again
Tifa: D! *Runs up to Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: AHHH!!!!!!!
Director: STOP!!!!! We need him...Start over
Tifa: Fine... Save me from that monster *Points to Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: Your dead!
*Battle music plays*
Cloud: Cool! *Takes out his sword*
Sephiroth: *Takes out his sword*
Tifa: Here! *Throws Cloud a sense material*
Cloud: Cool! *Uses the material*
Sephiroth - Level 1 HP: 100
Sephiroth: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?
Cloud: *Hits Sephiroth with an attack and defeats him*
Sephiroth: No! *A magic force brings Sephiroth to the ground* NOT FAIR!!!!
Cloud: YAHOO!!!!! *Does the victory dance*
*Back to normal*
Tifa: Thank you..my name is
Please name your new partner
Cloud: hmm...I.L.O.V.E.C.L.O.U.D.I.W.A.N.T.H.I.M
ILOVECLOUDIWANTHIM: Hey, Not fair...My name is Tifa! Not...I Love Cloud I want him!
Cloud: You do?
Director: Just pick a normal name
Cloud: Fine...B.O.B.
Bob: *Sniff* Meanie
Cloud: Yahoo!
Bob joined the team
Director: That is a rap!
Sephiroth: I demand a better part
Director: The script says you will come back
Sephiroth: and no more kicking me...in that place...
Director: Okay!
Sephiroth: I kill you all....*Walks away*
Director: Next Scene...The main villain is discovered, she unleashed her monster to attack...you get a new member
Bob: I demand my name back to normal!
Director: Cloud, change it back
Cloud: Fine...T.I.F.A
Tifa: Good
Director: No more name changing
Cloud: Aww...takes out all the fun in life
Director: God damn I hate this fucking Job
Squall: Hey, me too!
Director: Good for you..
Squall: ...whatever
Director: Okay Scene two begin!
Tifa: *Gasp* Who is that?
Cloud: It is the ultimate demon known as Edea!
Edea: MUWAHAHAHA!!!!! I SHALL RULE ALL!!!! NOW MY PET IRVINE ATTACK!!!!
Irvine: *Walks up to Cloud and Tifa in a cat costume* I shall destroy you!
Cloud and Tifa: *Giggle* ...lets...get...him...*Breaks out laughing*
Irvine: What? ...I think it looks cool
Selphie: ...yeah sure...
Director: Just attack already!
Irvine: Sure...NOW DIE!!!!!
*Battle music starts*
Cloud: *Casts Bio on Irvine*
Irvine: *Turns a cheaply animated green* Grr...*Does an attack on Cloud*
Tifa: *Casts Fire on Irvine*
Irvine: AHHHH!!!!!!!! MY COSTUME IS ON FIRE!!!!! *Rolls around*
Tifa: It's real fire?
Director: Yeah, that is the point
Irvine: AHHH!!!! *Runs in a circle*
Director: Okay, Cut! Lets just say Cloud and Tifa won
*Victory music plays and things change back to normal*
Cloud: Hey, I leveled up!
Tifa: huh...*Looks at stats* No fair! I defeated the creature, He just cast stupid Bio!
Cloud: Bio puts a nice but yet cheap color on your opponents
Tifa: not fair...
Irvine: *Pops out of the costume* Thank your for saving me! I shall join your team!
Please name your character
Cloud: Hehe....M.O.N.K.E.Y.M.A.N
Monkey Man joined your team
Monkey Man: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Director: Cloud!
Cloud: Sorry...I.R.V.I.N.E
Irvine: Phew...Don't do shit like that again!
Cloud: hehe....
Edea: I will be back! *Vanished in a puff of smoke* Ugh...can't breathe...*Cough Cough*
Director: Okay, that is a rap for scene two, now scene three
Yuffie: Psst...Director?
Director: Yes?
Yuffie: Later in the game, is Tifa gonna die?
Director: Maybe...
Yuffie: Do you even know?
Director: Yes, but there is no way in hell I'm telling you!
Yuffie: damn director..
Director: Okay, Scene three...Sephiroth's return and the attack of the...frogs? Eh? Well anyway
Sephiroth: Cool!
Director: And ACTION!
Sephiroth: You shall pay! *Pulls out his sword*
Cloud: Okay...Choice box
A) Fight
B) Run
C) Try to get him to join
Cloud: C...Uh....Do you want some flowers?
Sephiroth: Flowers? What the hell...
Director: Just pick A
Cloud: Fine...
*Battle music starts*
Sephiroth: That should be boss battle music!
Director: it says here your not a boss
Cloud: *Uses Sense*
Sephiroth - Level: 2 HP: 101
Irvine: Wow he is weak!
Sephiroth: WHAT!!!!! I GAINED ONE LEVEL AND ONE HP!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?
Tifa: *Throws a pebble at Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: Oh hell no...*Falls to the ground* AHHHHHH!!!!!! DAMN IT!!!!!
*Victory music plays*
Cloud: I gained a level!
Tifa: !?
Director: Sorry Tifa!
Tifa: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! HE JUST USED SENSE!!!!!! I ACTUALLY DEFEATED HIM!!!!!
Sephiroth: That was not a defeat! I DEMAND A REMATCH!!!!!
Director: Tifa, you're the main little weak girl...sorry
Tifa; WEAK?!?!?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *Runs in a circle while screaming*
Sephiroth: WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!
Director: You will come back, don't worry
Sephiroth: What, with one more HP?
Director: No...two
Sephiroth: I hate you...GIVE ME A BETTER PART!!!!!!
Director: Fine, you will appear in scene seven next
Sephiroth: Good...I better be stronger....
Director: Scene four...you meet Squall, fight your first boss and learn about changing your party
Squall: I want a party!
Director: Um..no
Squall: ..whatever
Cloud: What about attack of the frogs?
Director: I skipped it, it was just a random battle
Cloud: I WANT ATTACK OF THE FROGS!!!!!!!!!
Director: Fine....
*Battle theme starts*
*A Touch me appears*
Tifa: Cloud, what is this monster called?
Cloud: Touch me
Tifa: Oh, not now cloud...what is it called?
Cloud: Touch me!!!
Tifa: Cloud!
Irvine: Come on Cloud, what is it called?
Cloud: Touch me!!!!!!! GOD DAMN IT TOUCH ME!!!!!!!
Irvine: *Slowly leaves the battle arena*
Cloud: Well that is what the monster is called
Touch me: *Turns Tifa into a frog*
Cloud: Oh, Tifa is a Touch me!
Tifa: Cloud..shut up...
Irvine: *Shoots the Touch me*
*Victory music plays
Cloud: That was fun!
Tifa: *Turns back* That was scary
Director: Okay, Scene four!
Squall: Hi!
Edea: You have failed me!!!
Squall: Fine..I'll leave
Cloud: WAIT!!!! We have come to defeat you Edea
Edea: No way...
Squall: Let me join!
You can now make your party, chose two other characters
Cloud: I choose Irvine and Squall!
Tifa: WHAT!?!?!?!
Irvine: Sorry Tifa, we have to leave you out...we always leave the main girl out....
Cloud: I always left Aeris out
Squall: I always left Rinoa out
Tifa: Not fair...
Irvine: But there is always a time where we have to include Tifa
Cloud: That sucks
Squall: ...whatever
Tifa: Fine..*sits down*
Edea: BEWARE TO FIGHT MY NEW PET!!!!! ATTACK MOG ATTACK!!!!!!
*Boss theme starts*
Squall: Oh...A Mog is our first boss fight...how scary
Mog: *Attacks Squall and kills him in one hit*
Irvine: Wow, Moogles are deadly!
Cloud: AHH!!!!!!!! *Attacks Mog*
Mog: *Attacks Cloud*
Irvine: *Casts Blizzard/Ice*
Mog: Ouch... *Attack Cloud again*
Cloud: *Limit goes up* YAHOO!!!!!! *Does his special...Fifi Slash*
Irvine: Fifi Slash?
Mog: *Dies*
*Irvine, Cloud, and Squall's levels go up*
Tifa: WHAT!!!!! SQUALL WAS DEAD!!!
Director: Oh well...
Tifa: Grr...
Director: Scene Five...Uh....The Durks?
Reno: We better get payed extra for being called...The Durks
Rude: ....
Elena: Yeah, What Reno said!
Director: and Action
*The Durks them plays 'Backstreet boys'*
Elena: OHMYGODITSTHEBACKSTREETBOYSILOVETHEMSOMUCHWELLILIKEPICKLESBUTTHEYCOMEINACLO SESECONDOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!!
Rude: ....
Elena: Sorry
Reno: Is this some kind of a joke?
Director: Sorry...
Reno: I better get payed extra
Cloud: *Gasp* The Durks!
Reno: You messed with Sephiroth, you mess with me!
Tifa: Oh, The Durks are deadly!
Squall: ...whatever
Irvine: We can handle it
Cloud: Yeah...Choice box...
A) Fight
B) Run
C) Invite them over to your house for a party
Cloud: Hell yeah! C! LETS GO PARTY!!!!
Rude: HELL YEAH!!!!!!!
Everybody: *Looks at Rude*
Rude: Sorry..I will go back to being silent....
Director: Just choose A!
Cloud: Fine...
*Boss them starts playing*
Tifa: Let me guess....I can't be in?
Cloud: Nope
Tifa: Damn you...
Reno: I SHALL ATTACK!!!!! *Attacks*
Elena: WHAT RENO DID!!!!!! *Attacks*
Rude: ....*Cures himself for no reason*
Cloud, Squall, and Irvine: *Limits go up...they all do the ultimate limit on Reno*
Reno: Look at the time....gotta run *Runs*
Elena: Eh...when Reno goes...I go! *Runs*
Rude: .....*Cures himself for no reason*
Cloud: Yeah...you can run now...
Rude: .....*Runs*
*Victory Music plays*
Rude: *Gains a level*
Tifa: WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!?!?!?!?! RUDE IS NOT EVEN A GOOD GUY!!!!! HE WAS THE BOSS!!!!!! AND HE JUST CURED HIMSELF FOR NO REASON!!!!!!!! NOW EVEN HE GETS A LEVEL UP, BUT NOT ME!?!?!?!?!
Director: Sorry, it was your idea to be the main girl
Tifa: I...hate you....
Sephiroth: Me too!
Director: Scene Six....Tifa gets captured by Edea! You fight and free another person/evil animal
Tifa: Now you have to take me along
Cloud: Fine...Irvine go...
Irvine: *Sniff* Meanie! *Walks away*
Director: Okay, Action
Edea: I have you now! VULTURE TAKE TIFA AWAY!!!!!
Tifa: *Gets grabbed by a big bird* Let go! *Is taken away*
Edea: Now my new pet attack!
Selphie: *Comes out in a rabbit costume* Grr...I shall destroy you all!
Cloud and Squall: Hehe...yeah...*Both crack up* HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Selphie: Shut up!
*Battle music starts*
Cloud: Okay...*Attack Selphie*
Selphie: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *Costume rips* *Sniff* Just..bought...that...
Director: Okay just end...
*Victory music plays*
Selphie: I shall join!
Selphie has joined your party
*The Vulture gets a level up*
Tifa: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! THE FUCKING BIRD GETS A LEVEL UP?!?!?!?!?!
Director: Yep...
Tifa: ....*Walks away*
Director: Okay, Scene seven...Sephiroth's return
Sephiroth: Finally!
Cloud: Come on Selphie
Selphie: HE LIKES ME!!!!
Tifa: *Slaps Selphie* Back off Bitch!
Selphie: ....loser....*walks away*
Tifa: ....
Sephiroth: So you defeated the Durks...for now! LETS THE BATTLE BEGIN!!!!!!
*Boss battle music plays*
Sephiroth: Finally, I'm a Boss!
Selphie: ATTACK!!!!! *Attacks Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: *Falls down* WHAT?!?!?!?!
Director: Selphie got one of those instant knock out things...It happens randomly
Sephiroth: ....I seriously hate you! *Storms off the set*
*Seifer gets a level up*
Tifa: Seifer....fucking seifer...
Seifer: Hey thanks!
Director: No prob!
Tifa: HE WAS NOT EVEN IN THIS GOD DAMN SCENE!!!!!!! OR ANY GOD DAMN SCENE!!!!!!
Director: So? What is your point?
Tifa: .....
Director: Okay, Lunch Break...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
End of chapter two!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. All characters are property of SquareSoft/Square-enix
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*At the SphereSoft studio*
Director: Good to meet all of you, I am the director of Second Fantasy
Squall: ...whatever
Director: Yeah, okay...First Scene: Where Cloud/Squall meet Tifa and her Ex-boyfriend Sephiroth
Sephiroth: What the...
Tifa: Okay...
Squall: ...whatever
Cloud: *Holding out the rubber duck and ketchup bottle* Boom Boom! Ketchup bottle has damage Rubber duck station 9, prepare for full on assault! Rubber duckie attack the Ketchup bottle....
Everybody: *looks at Cloud*
Cloud: *Hides the Rubber Duck and Ketchup* What?
Director: Anyway....Let the Scene begin, just read off your script
Tifa: So, Sephiroth...you found me....
Sephiroth: I shall get my revenge on you for breaking up with me...
Tifa: What should I do? *Looks at Choice box*
A) Run away
B) Kick him in the balls, then run away
C) Say "I still want you, lets go test out your love"
Tifa: ???? (What the heck?) B! *Kicks Sephiroth in the balls then runs*
Sephiroth: X_X *Faints*
Tifa: Oh...Hi strangers!
Cloud: Hi!
Squall: ...whatever
Director: SQAULL!!!!!!! Your not a good hero, I have another part for you
Squall: ...whatever...*Walks away*
Cloud: JUST ME AND MY DUCKIE!!!!
Everybody: *Looks at Cloud*
Cloud: I mean..just me...yeah...the hero
Director: Lets start that scene again
Sephiroth: Oh...god....
Tifa: *Kicks Sephiroth in the Balls again and runs*
Sephiroth: X_X *Falls on the ground* ...why...
Cloud: Rubber Duckie, it's just you and me! *Dances with the Rubber Duck in his hands*
Director: CUT!!!! Cloud?
Cloud: What? *Hides the Rubber Duck*
Director: Okay, again!
Sephiroth: ....I...hate...you....
Tifa: This is Fun! *Kicks Sephiroth in his balls and runs*
Sephiroth: X_X....*Falls on the ground*....o...u...c...h...
Director: CUT!!!!!!!! Your not supposed to say 'This is Fun!'
Tifa: Sorry...
Director: Again..
Sephiroth: NO!!!!!!! NEVER!!!!!!
Tifa: *Kicks Sephiroth in the balls and runs*
Sephiroth: X___________X *faints*
Tifa: Oh...Hi Stranger
Cloud: (Ooh...Choice box)
A) Say "Hi!"
B) Say "Hey Bitch! Wanna go see my room?"
C) Say "I work for social security, you have ten seconds to retire your monkey"
Cloud: hehe... I work for social security, you have ten seconds to retire you monkey!
Tifa: Oh..Your funny *Sees Choice boxes come up*
A) Say "Save me from that monster" *point to Sephiroth*
B) Say "Lets run before he comes back"
C) My monkey is on vacation
Tifa: (Hmm...I need one more choice) *Scribbles in Choice D)
D) Kick Sephiroth in the balls again
Tifa: D! *Runs up to Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: AHHH!!!!!!!
Director: STOP!!!!! We need him...Start over
Tifa: Fine... Save me from that monster *Points to Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: Your dead!
*Battle music plays*
Cloud: Cool! *Takes out his sword*
Sephiroth: *Takes out his sword*
Tifa: Here! *Throws Cloud a sense material*
Cloud: Cool! *Uses the material*
Sephiroth - Level 1 HP: 100
Sephiroth: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?
Cloud: *Hits Sephiroth with an attack and defeats him*
Sephiroth: No! *A magic force brings Sephiroth to the ground* NOT FAIR!!!!
Cloud: YAHOO!!!!! *Does the victory dance*
*Back to normal*
Tifa: Thank you..my name is
Please name your new partner
Cloud: hmm...I.L.O.V.E.C.L.O.U.D.I.W.A.N.T.H.I.M
ILOVECLOUDIWANTHIM: Hey, Not fair...My name is Tifa! Not...I Love Cloud I want him!
Cloud: You do?
Director: Just pick a normal name
Cloud: Fine...B.O.B.
Bob: *Sniff* Meanie
Cloud: Yahoo!
Bob joined the team
Director: That is a rap!
Sephiroth: I demand a better part
Director: The script says you will come back
Sephiroth: and no more kicking me...in that place...
Director: Okay!
Sephiroth: I kill you all....*Walks away*
Director: Next Scene...The main villain is discovered, she unleashed her monster to attack...you get a new member
Bob: I demand my name back to normal!
Director: Cloud, change it back
Cloud: Fine...T.I.F.A
Tifa: Good
Director: No more name changing
Cloud: Aww...takes out all the fun in life
Director: God damn I hate this fucking Job
Squall: Hey, me too!
Director: Good for you..
Squall: ...whatever
Director: Okay Scene two begin!
Tifa: *Gasp* Who is that?
Cloud: It is the ultimate demon known as Edea!
Edea: MUWAHAHAHA!!!!! I SHALL RULE ALL!!!! NOW MY PET IRVINE ATTACK!!!!
Irvine: *Walks up to Cloud and Tifa in a cat costume* I shall destroy you!
Cloud and Tifa: *Giggle* ...lets...get...him...*Breaks out laughing*
Irvine: What? ...I think it looks cool
Selphie: ...yeah sure...
Director: Just attack already!
Irvine: Sure...NOW DIE!!!!!
*Battle music starts*
Cloud: *Casts Bio on Irvine*
Irvine: *Turns a cheaply animated green* Grr...*Does an attack on Cloud*
Tifa: *Casts Fire on Irvine*
Irvine: AHHHH!!!!!!!! MY COSTUME IS ON FIRE!!!!! *Rolls around*
Tifa: It's real fire?
Director: Yeah, that is the point
Irvine: AHHH!!!! *Runs in a circle*
Director: Okay, Cut! Lets just say Cloud and Tifa won
*Victory music plays and things change back to normal*
Cloud: Hey, I leveled up!
Tifa: huh...*Looks at stats* No fair! I defeated the creature, He just cast stupid Bio!
Cloud: Bio puts a nice but yet cheap color on your opponents
Tifa: not fair...
Irvine: *Pops out of the costume* Thank your for saving me! I shall join your team!
Please name your character
Cloud: Hehe....M.O.N.K.E.Y.M.A.N
Monkey Man joined your team
Monkey Man: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Director: Cloud!
Cloud: Sorry...I.R.V.I.N.E
Irvine: Phew...Don't do shit like that again!
Cloud: hehe....
Edea: I will be back! *Vanished in a puff of smoke* Ugh...can't breathe...*Cough Cough*
Director: Okay, that is a rap for scene two, now scene three
Yuffie: Psst...Director?
Director: Yes?
Yuffie: Later in the game, is Tifa gonna die?
Director: Maybe...
Yuffie: Do you even know?
Director: Yes, but there is no way in hell I'm telling you!
Yuffie: damn director..
Director: Okay, Scene three...Sephiroth's return and the attack of the...frogs? Eh? Well anyway
Sephiroth: Cool!
Director: And ACTION!
Sephiroth: You shall pay! *Pulls out his sword*
Cloud: Okay...Choice box
A) Fight
B) Run
C) Try to get him to join
Cloud: C...Uh....Do you want some flowers?
Sephiroth: Flowers? What the hell...
Director: Just pick A
Cloud: Fine...
*Battle music starts*
Sephiroth: That should be boss battle music!
Director: it says here your not a boss
Cloud: *Uses Sense*
Sephiroth - Level: 2 HP: 101
Irvine: Wow he is weak!
Sephiroth: WHAT!!!!! I GAINED ONE LEVEL AND ONE HP!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?
Tifa: *Throws a pebble at Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: Oh hell no...*Falls to the ground* AHHHHHH!!!!!! DAMN IT!!!!!
*Victory music plays*
Cloud: I gained a level!
Tifa: !?
Director: Sorry Tifa!
Tifa: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! HE JUST USED SENSE!!!!!! I ACTUALLY DEFEATED HIM!!!!!
Sephiroth: That was not a defeat! I DEMAND A REMATCH!!!!!
Director: Tifa, you're the main little weak girl...sorry
Tifa; WEAK?!?!?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *Runs in a circle while screaming*
Sephiroth: WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!
Director: You will come back, don't worry
Sephiroth: What, with one more HP?
Director: No...two
Sephiroth: I hate you...GIVE ME A BETTER PART!!!!!!
Director: Fine, you will appear in scene seven next
Sephiroth: Good...I better be stronger....
Director: Scene four...you meet Squall, fight your first boss and learn about changing your party
Squall: I want a party!
Director: Um..no
Squall: ..whatever
Cloud: What about attack of the frogs?
Director: I skipped it, it was just a random battle
Cloud: I WANT ATTACK OF THE FROGS!!!!!!!!!
Director: Fine....
*Battle theme starts*
*A Touch me appears*
Tifa: Cloud, what is this monster called?
Cloud: Touch me
Tifa: Oh, not now cloud...what is it called?
Cloud: Touch me!!!
Tifa: Cloud!
Irvine: Come on Cloud, what is it called?
Cloud: Touch me!!!!!!! GOD DAMN IT TOUCH ME!!!!!!!
Irvine: *Slowly leaves the battle arena*
Cloud: Well that is what the monster is called
Touch me: *Turns Tifa into a frog*
Cloud: Oh, Tifa is a Touch me!
Tifa: Cloud..shut up...
Irvine: *Shoots the Touch me*
*Victory music plays
Cloud: That was fun!
Tifa: *Turns back* That was scary
Director: Okay, Scene four!
Squall: Hi!
Edea: You have failed me!!!
Squall: Fine..I'll leave
Cloud: WAIT!!!! We have come to defeat you Edea
Edea: No way...
Squall: Let me join!
You can now make your party, chose two other characters
Cloud: I choose Irvine and Squall!
Tifa: WHAT!?!?!?!
Irvine: Sorry Tifa, we have to leave you out...we always leave the main girl out....
Cloud: I always left Aeris out
Squall: I always left Rinoa out
Tifa: Not fair...
Irvine: But there is always a time where we have to include Tifa
Cloud: That sucks
Squall: ...whatever
Tifa: Fine..*sits down*
Edea: BEWARE TO FIGHT MY NEW PET!!!!! ATTACK MOG ATTACK!!!!!!
*Boss theme starts*
Squall: Oh...A Mog is our first boss fight...how scary
Mog: *Attacks Squall and kills him in one hit*
Irvine: Wow, Moogles are deadly!
Cloud: AHH!!!!!!!! *Attacks Mog*
Mog: *Attacks Cloud*
Irvine: *Casts Blizzard/Ice*
Mog: Ouch... *Attack Cloud again*
Cloud: *Limit goes up* YAHOO!!!!!! *Does his special...Fifi Slash*
Irvine: Fifi Slash?
Mog: *Dies*
*Irvine, Cloud, and Squall's levels go up*
Tifa: WHAT!!!!! SQUALL WAS DEAD!!!
Director: Oh well...
Tifa: Grr...
Director: Scene Five...Uh....The Durks?
Reno: We better get payed extra for being called...The Durks
Rude: ....
Elena: Yeah, What Reno said!
Director: and Action
*The Durks them plays 'Backstreet boys'*
Elena: OHMYGODITSTHEBACKSTREETBOYSILOVETHEMSOMUCHWELLILIKEPICKLESBUTTHEYCOMEINACLO SESECONDOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!!
Rude: ....
Elena: Sorry
Reno: Is this some kind of a joke?
Director: Sorry...
Reno: I better get payed extra
Cloud: *Gasp* The Durks!
Reno: You messed with Sephiroth, you mess with me!
Tifa: Oh, The Durks are deadly!
Squall: ...whatever
Irvine: We can handle it
Cloud: Yeah...Choice box...
A) Fight
B) Run
C) Invite them over to your house for a party
Cloud: Hell yeah! C! LETS GO PARTY!!!!
Rude: HELL YEAH!!!!!!!
Everybody: *Looks at Rude*
Rude: Sorry..I will go back to being silent....
Director: Just choose A!
Cloud: Fine...
*Boss them starts playing*
Tifa: Let me guess....I can't be in?
Cloud: Nope
Tifa: Damn you...
Reno: I SHALL ATTACK!!!!! *Attacks*
Elena: WHAT RENO DID!!!!!! *Attacks*
Rude: ....*Cures himself for no reason*
Cloud, Squall, and Irvine: *Limits go up...they all do the ultimate limit on Reno*
Reno: Look at the time....gotta run *Runs*
Elena: Eh...when Reno goes...I go! *Runs*
Rude: .....*Cures himself for no reason*
Cloud: Yeah...you can run now...
Rude: .....*Runs*
*Victory Music plays*
Rude: *Gains a level*
Tifa: WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!?!?!?!?! RUDE IS NOT EVEN A GOOD GUY!!!!! HE WAS THE BOSS!!!!!! AND HE JUST CURED HIMSELF FOR NO REASON!!!!!!!! NOW EVEN HE GETS A LEVEL UP, BUT NOT ME!?!?!?!?!
Director: Sorry, it was your idea to be the main girl
Tifa: I...hate you....
Sephiroth: Me too!
Director: Scene Six....Tifa gets captured by Edea! You fight and free another person/evil animal
Tifa: Now you have to take me along
Cloud: Fine...Irvine go...
Irvine: *Sniff* Meanie! *Walks away*
Director: Okay, Action
Edea: I have you now! VULTURE TAKE TIFA AWAY!!!!!
Tifa: *Gets grabbed by a big bird* Let go! *Is taken away*
Edea: Now my new pet attack!
Selphie: *Comes out in a rabbit costume* Grr...I shall destroy you all!
Cloud and Squall: Hehe...yeah...*Both crack up* HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Selphie: Shut up!
*Battle music starts*
Cloud: Okay...*Attack Selphie*
Selphie: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *Costume rips* *Sniff* Just..bought...that...
Director: Okay just end...
*Victory music plays*
Selphie: I shall join!
Selphie has joined your party
*The Vulture gets a level up*
Tifa: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! THE FUCKING BIRD GETS A LEVEL UP?!?!?!?!?!
Director: Yep...
Tifa: ....*Walks away*
Director: Okay, Scene seven...Sephiroth's return
Sephiroth: Finally!
Cloud: Come on Selphie
Selphie: HE LIKES ME!!!!
Tifa: *Slaps Selphie* Back off Bitch!
Selphie: ....loser....*walks away*
Tifa: ....
Sephiroth: So you defeated the Durks...for now! LETS THE BATTLE BEGIN!!!!!!
*Boss battle music plays*
Sephiroth: Finally, I'm a Boss!
Selphie: ATTACK!!!!! *Attacks Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: *Falls down* WHAT?!?!?!?!
Director: Selphie got one of those instant knock out things...It happens randomly
Sephiroth: ....I seriously hate you! *Storms off the set*
*Seifer gets a level up*
Tifa: Seifer....fucking seifer...
Seifer: Hey thanks!
Director: No prob!
Tifa: HE WAS NOT EVEN IN THIS GOD DAMN SCENE!!!!!!! OR ANY GOD DAMN SCENE!!!!!!
Director: So? What is your point?
Tifa: .....
Director: Okay, Lunch Break...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
End of chapter two!