Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Sowing the SeeDs ❯ Chapter 10

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Sowing the SeeDs : Part 10

a fanfic by Greenbeans <gbeans@tyrlen.org>
edited by Helen Fong <iriachan@yahoo.com>
based on the world of Final Fantasy 8
created by Square Electronic Arts L.L.C. <www.squaresoft.com>


- Kei -

Her father greeted Kei when the transport touched land at the Centra port.
He was a man of average build with a demeanor that spoke of the power he held.
He dressed himself in long flowing robes that weren't useful for more than
posturing. A person couldn't do any work in them without running the risk of
ruin. It was a physical reminder of why she saw him as a pompous old fool.

He bowed formally to her before motioning for her to follow him to the
truck that would take them to the Anshin compound. A chilled silence sat
between them as they rode beside each other in the truck's cab. The thought of
being here without Xu was a depressing one. There was no chance that she'd
enjoy herself. On the contrary, she expected to be treated coolly at best.

As if the company wasn't bad enough, the desolate landscape only added to
the overall sense of misery. After the Lunar Cry that occurred generations
ago, the land was stripped of its greenery and most forms of life. This region
of the Centra continent was a dismal desert with only a few patches of stubborn
weeds in the grainy earth. Instead of moving to more hospitable lands like the
sensible people of Dollet and Esthar, the Anshin stuck it out and rebuilt their
homes.

That decision encompassed much of the Anshin way of thinking -- their
stubbornness, perseverance, and willingness to endure unnecessary hardships.
Now that she thought about it, Xu was the model Anshin. She snorted as she
discarded the thought. Xu would have her head if she ever voiced that opinion,
even if it was the truth.

Kei's musings kept her occupied until they arrived at the compound. One
of her younger brothers greeted them and offered to take her duffel and weapons
to the family's home. That caught Kei off guard since she hadn't been
permitted in the family home for years now. Whenever she visited, she stayed
with Xu's family.

Her father invited her to follow him. They walked together along a neatly
maintained gravel path that was lined by houses with equally well-maintained
yards. How perfect everything appeared on the surface disgusted her. To her,
this all was nothing more than a pretty facade. 'Life in the Anshin's isolated
corner of the world was fine. Who cares if the rest of the planet thinks
they're freaks?' That's what their manicured lawns said to her.

Soon it became apparent that he was leading her to the same building Xu
was taken to. She stopped in the middle of the path and crossed her arms
defiantly.

"I'm not going to play your games. You won't do to me what you did to
Xu," she deliberately spoke in the standard language to piss him off. People
were expected to speak the language of the Anshin when they were in the
compound unless they were with foreign guests.

"You won't leave here without the answers you seek. The search begins
within," he motioned to the building while answering her in kind.

She glared at him, then continued walking towards the building. When she
first entered the thickness of the air overwhelmed her. She stepped outside to
gasp for breath before steeling herself and going in. Impatiently, she waited
by the door for her eyes to become accustomed to the darkness of the room.
After adjusting, she noticed that five pairs of eyes were watching her intently
from across the way.

"Won't you change into something more comfortable and sit with us?" The
oldest of the elders invited. He was the only one of the lot that she actually
cared for. He had always treated her kindly, if not sternly for her
oft-rebellious behavior. An acolyte came forward with some robes for her to
wear. She shook her head firmly in refusal.

"I came here as a SeeD. It is as a SeeD that I will sit before you," she
responded in their language before sitting down on a cushion that was placed on
the floor for that purpose. Kei couldn't bring herself to act snide around
him. The acolytes that served the elders retreated from the room, leaving only
her and the five of them.

"We have learned much about your life out there from Xu. We wish to hear
your version of things," an elder sitting to the left of the oldest requested.
'There' was always assumed to be the rest of the world. How narrow their views
were!
His mentioning her cousin and her time here immediately set Kei on edge. These
were the same people who messed with Xu's mind. They twisted her unwavering
sense of duty into something that left her feeling insecure with regards to her
calling in life. They undermined everything SeeD taught her and that was
unforgivable.

"You-" she bit off the statement she was about to make.

"Yes?" The oldest invited.

"You screwed with Xu! Don't you realize what a difficult life she's had?
And despite it all she's kept her chin up. Then you bastards have the balls to
draw her here and say Sean's death was her *punishment*. How heartless can you
be?!" She slowly clenched and unclenched her left fist at her side. Kei hated
mind game even more than Xu did. 'Say what you mean and mean what you say' was
the only way to do things in her book.

"This angers you?" Her father asked from his position at the far right.

"Yes! On top of being heartless, you did *something* to her. She hasn't
been the same since she returned. Now she's all confused and restless. Xu is
the best thing this clan has produced in generations. Leave her the hell
alone!" Kei was on her feet, livid and visibly shaking.

The elders exchanged glances amongst themselves while she paced across the
room. The wooden flooring beneath her socked feet didn't produce a satisfying
enough thump as she stomped from one end to the other.

"Is it your opinion that Xu will always protect that which is important?"
One called to her, breaking her from the rhythmic stomping.

She turned around slowly to face them. "In a heartbeat. And I'll protect
her from vultures like you."

"Perhaps we should have spoken to them the other way around?" The one
between the oldest and her father muttered.

"You would have never gotten to Xu if I'd known beforehand," Kei announced
with certainty.

"Precisely," the oldest agreed. "How does it feel to kill another,
child?"

"How does it feel to take a breath? It's what I do," she replied testily.

"Are you without a conscience?" The far left one gasped.

"Are you without a mind?! The world isn't black and white. There is no
such thing as good and evil. There are, however, many shades of gray."

"You think that you understand the shades between good and evil?" Her
father challenged.

"I trust my heart. Only a fool would say that they can always distinguish
between the two since it's rarely that simple." She glared at them as the
elders exchanged more silent looks.

"What?" She demanded. "Why do you keep doing that? And why have you
brought me here?" She stormed up to her father and stared down at him.

"We wish to know what you do," the oldest answered calmly.

She moved to stand before him, then knelt to his level and leaned close
enough that they shared the same breath. "*You're* the elders. Don't you know
everything already? What can you learn from someone you drove away years ago?"

He didn't back away from her. To the contrary, he leaned closer. "The
further we drove you away, the longer it would take for you to return. But you
would also learn more along the way to share with us." He reached his hand
behind her head and pulled her close so that he could kiss her softly on the
forehead. "You're so angry, Kei. We have always loved you, whether you saw it
or not."

"I doubt your sincerity," she whispered harshly.

"Of that, only you can be the judge." He removed his hand from behind her
head, stroking his fingers through her short hair affectionately as he did so.
Then he traced a light finger along her left ear and the earring there. It was
her mark of defiance against them, accepting the social traditions of another
culture instead of her own. The finger continues along her jawbone. He smiled
kindly at her.

She rocked back on her heels, then landed on her butt. He effectively
derailed her rage. She couldn't rouse the feelings of anger that had driven
her just a few moments earlier. Was there such a thing as a calming spell? If
so, that was the effect his soft caress had on her.

"Are you ready to talk now?" He asked gently.

"Yes, I'm ready," she murmured in a sedate tone.

For countless hours they spoke. The elders picked her mind clean
regarding every significant (and insignificant) subject imaginable. Her father
seemed to be earnestly interested in what she had to say -- all of them did.
So much time in the past was spent standing before them because she'd done
something wrong that it was almost unnerving to be speaking with them on
cordial terms.

She was getting sleepy while their stamina seemed endless. Xu's warning
would serve her well. She'd sleep until morning and then leave this place
before they could try anything. Her father smiled fondly at her as he gave her
a blanket to use for the night, or whenever it was. Maybe their friendliness
could continue outside of this room...

Kei woke up groggy. Usually her body snapped awake when she told it to,
but it was so sluggish this morning. Slowly, one eye peeled itself open and
then the other. When they finally came into focus her brain was slow in
reacting to the fact that she wasn't in the same room she'd fallen asleep in.

A thin stream of sunlight came in through the narrowly parted curtains.
Her eyes wandered around the room as her mind tried to place where she could
be. More than likely she was in one of the rooms of her parents' home. Hum...
this was a child's room judging by the toys on the shelves and drawings tacked
to the wall. Was there someone else asleep in here with her?

If anyone was asleep, they soon weren't when she rolled over onto her
back. The scream she uttered due to the shockwave of pain that coursed through
her body was enough to rattle the pictures hanging on the wall. A stream of
curses followed as she balled up on her side, willing the pain away.

The curses continued as her mind clicked recent events into place. They
must have done something to keep her knocked out while they tattooed her back.
Strong pulses of outrage surged through her mind. What right did they have?
Fuck their coming of age nonsense! She didn't need their approval to know that
she was an adult. They would pay for this. By all that's holy she will make
them pay!

"Kei!" The door to the room swung open and her mother rushed it. Anger
flashed through Kei again, tears from the pain and betrayal traced down her
cheeks. Her mother couldn't see her while she was weak. She couldn't let them
see how their actions hurt her both physically and emotionally. Anger could
cover that...

"Where's Father?" She pressed herself up from the bed. Even the loose
shirt she wore caused her discomfort as it brushed against her tender skin.

"So she's finally awake?" His voice boomed from the hallway. He entered
the room to face his daughter's rage. He wasn't a tall man, but he stood with
pride. She'd long ago come to think of it as his 'elder stance'.

"What have you done you rotten-" Kei cut off her expletive when she
spotted a pair of her younger siblings peeking into the room. She moved past
her parents and slammed the door shut. There was no need for them to witness
this.

Her mother tried to position herself between her daughter and her husband.
The elder gently, but firmly, pressed her aside so that Kei had a clear shot at
him if she wanted. "Would striking me make you feel better?" His cool eyes
locked with hers.

She considered it, then shook her head. There were more pressing needs to
be addressed (namely, healing her back) before retribution.

Her things were set out neatly on a low table under the window. She
opened her spell pouch and pulled out a handful of Curagas -- the most powerful
curative spell known -- and some Esunas. "Any damage to the flesh can be
healed if a powerful enough spell is used soon enough," she reasoned.

"It won't work Kei..." Her father's expression was of remorseful
certainty. "You can't cure yourself of what you are."

His warning fell on deaf ears as she concentrated all of her will into the
spell she was about to cast. "CURAGA!!" She yelled. She could feel the
spell's effect as it worked on her back. 'Undo the damage they've done,' she
willed it as it took effect.

She stood before the vanity mirror and lifted the shirt she wore to watch
the pigment they embedded into her skin fade away. A smirk crossed her face
that quickly turned to dismay as the marking returned. How is that possible?!

She dropped the shirt down and gathered her will for casting the Esuna
spell. Maybe that would do the trick. Her desperation grew as the spell
didn't even make the pigment fade. She quickly rushed to her pouch and pulled
out a bead of Double. Perhaps casting two Curagas in a row would rid her of
the tattoo. Panic set in as that plan likewise failed. The only effect she
accomplished was her back being thoroughly healed to the point that it no
longer smarted when touched.

She sank to her knees in defeat. Why didn't it work?! Frustrated, she
buried face into the bed while pounding her fist on it. Then the tears came
again. She didn't understand what was going on here. Plus she was angry at
*them* for doing *this* to her. They violated her body in a way she would have
never permitted. It made her like *him*, Enju.

"It won't go away because you can't erase what you are," her father
explained gently after kneeling down beside her on the floor.

"I don't understand what you mean," she looked at him with bloodshot eyes.
"What are you doing to us? What does it all mean?"

"You'll figure it out event-"

"NO! You'll tell me now!" Kei grabbed him by the front of his robes and
dragged him in closer to her. "No more games. Tell me!"

He actually *smiled* at her. It wasn't cocky. Almost the opposite in
that it was the smile of a proud father. "Justice will always seek out the
truth and dislikes evasions."

He slipped his hand under her shirt to write on her back slowly with his
index finger. "'Spirit of Justice'," he whispered.

"That's not the character for 'Spirit'," she protested. "I know that
one."

"The character for 'Spirit' that refers to those who lead us to the Path
of Life isn't commonly written," he explained.

"Then why is it on my back?" She scowled.

"Don't be dense, child," he slapped her back. If she hadn't healed it and
he'd done that, she would have hurt him. "You're a Spirit that is walking the
human plane for some reason."

Kei coughed, stunned disbelief prompting her to deny it. "What?! Are you
out of your mind? The Spirits don't walk the human plane as humans
themselves."

"Not usually, but it has been known to happen. During times of upcoming
trial the Spirits may come here to protect those who are resting."

"What about Xu? And how many other people have you done this to?" Kei
gave him a sideways look. She could see it already. The elders were branding
all the able-bodied adults of Kei's generation as 'Spirits' and then sending
them off on some task. How did Xu miss their hidden agenda...?

"Xu is the Spirit of Protection. We are certain that there are many other
Spirits currently walking this plane. You and Xu are the only Anshin who are
on this quest. We feel reassured now that your human bodies have been purified
and the wards that will protect you from the evils that walk this plane have
been applied." He actually *hugged* her as they sat together on the floor. If
Kei's eyes rolled any further they would have ended up in the back of her head.

"A great danger is upon us if there are so many Spirits here right now.
Please do your best to protect us," her mother begged.

What a load of crap! 'The world is in danger and so we're going to throw
our outcast children into the thick of it and hope they save us.' No person in
their right mind would believe that. After all the stunts they've pulled,
they've finally gone over the edge with this one. 'Spirit of Justice' indeed.

"You dragged me all the way out here for *this*? Don't you think I have
more important things to do?"

"Of course you do!" Her mother agreed. "We'll try to not keep you any
longer than necessary. The next transport will arrive in five days. Why not
take the opportunity to rest before returning to your duties?"

Her parents left her alone in the room. Whatever they were up to, it
seemed that they sincerely believed the line of hogwash they were trying to
feed her. Then again, they sincerely believed that monsters meant no harm.
She sat on the bed thinking for at least a half-hour before rousing herself to
get cleaned up. As she washed, she kept craning her neck to catch a glimpse of
her back. She couldn't see the tattoo very well, but was sure it was much the
same as Xu's.

While she was in the bath, her mother came in and placed some clothes for
her to wear while taking away her uniform. This annoyed Kei, but at least it
was men's clothing that she left behind. Perhaps it was a sign that they *did*
consider her an adult now and would stop trying to force their ideas regarding
dress and behavior down her throat.

Refreshed from her bath, she wandered through the house. As she did so,
she could hear the scampering feet of children scurrying from one room to
another. They were watching her. Nonchalantly, she turned down a hallway and
then waited out of sight for one of them to follow her. When one did, she
caught him in her arms and hugged the surprised child. It was her youngest
brother, Mikel. He squealed with fear instead of joy at being caught.
Frowning, she let him go.

"Why are you afraid, Mikel?" She slid down the wall to sit on the floor.

"I'm sorry, Kei. Uh... Spirit? Uh..." He scuffed his toe against the
wall as he stammered.

"Try 'sister'," she suggested. What was with making her brother afraid of
offending her? This was ridiculous.

He shook his head back and forth, his dark eyes wide as he regarded her.
"I have to treat you with respect. As much respect as the elders!"

"Come here," she patted the floor next to her in invitation to sit down.
He did so and continued to watch her carefully. "Father is an elder, is he
not?"

Mikel nodded.

"And you hug Father, don't you?"

He nodded again.

"Meaning that he is your father first and an elder second. I am your
sister first and whatever they want to call me second. Being your sister is
what matters though. Understand?"

"I think so," he whispered.

Kei kept her sigh to herself. He was young enough to still be easily
influenced. Hopefully she would be able to get him to truly understand her
point before she left. "So that means you may hug me, doesn't it?"

"Yeah..."

"So, may I have a hug?" She favored him with the friendliest expression
she knew how to conjure.

He stood up and wrapped his arms around her neck. She returned his
embrace warmly, but gently enough so not to crush him. Kei had left long
before Mikel was born, thus she didn't know much about him. 'That's going to
change,' she decided firmly. Keeping a solid hold on him, she lifted him as
she stood up. With him on her hip, she walked to the kitchen to find something
for breakfast.

Two more of her siblings were seated at a small kitchen table when she
entered. They looked up at her, torn between leaving the room to her and
finishing up what they were working on. She gave them a friendly smile before
setting Mikel down on the counter.

"Have you eaten yet?" She asked him.

He nodded his head in an exaggerated manner. "I ate this morning with
everyone else when you were still asleep."

"Hmph, what did you have? Are there any leftovers?"

He continued nodding, then pointed to the cooler behind her. She opened
it and began rummaging around inside. A bowl of porridge and some fruit would
take the edge off her hunger.

She hmph-ed again as she glanced around her. They reorganized the kitchen
since the last time she was allowed in the house. She had no idea where the
utensils were now being stored. Mikel pulled out the drawer behind his legs --
which were hanging over the side of the counter -- and presented her with a
spoon.

"Ah! You knew what I was looking for," she messed up his hair playfully
before handing him the fruit she pulled out. She deftly balanced him on her
left hip while carrying the bowl of porridge in her right hand. Mikel was
deposited on an empty chair with her claiming the one next to it. Their
siblings watched them with curiosity.

"What are you working on?" Kei gestured at the papers they had spread
across the table with her spoon.

"Momma said they had to practice their handwriting," Mikel volunteered
while bouncing in his seat.

"Hush, Mikel. The Spirit doesn't care about such things," one of them
scolded.

"If I didn't care I wouldn't have asked," Kei pointed out dryly. She had
the feeling that she was going to have to fight off the label of 'Spirit' for
the rest of her time here. And even if she did get them to stop using it, they
would start again as soon as she was gone.

Kei picked up one of their practice sheets to look over it. She
recognized most of the characters that were carefully written. All of them
were done in neat handwriting. The Anshin language was an elaborate scrawl
that required an eye for detail since even the thickness of a line could affect
the meaning of a character.

Much of Kei's difficulty with the written aspect of the language was due
to its not being very friendly towards left-handed people. Creating the
characters was frustrating when she kept smearing the ink across the page with
her hand. By the end of class the side of her hand would be covered in ink
that she would have to wash off -- only to repeat the process the very next
day.

'They must be desperate if they're willing to put their faith into someone
who's barely literate,' Kei mused as she continued to examine the sheet. It
didn't bother Kei that her tablemates were more comfortable with their native
language. She never cared enough to master it.

"Keep up the good work," she encouraged.

Mikel squirmed in his chair restlessly. It was hard to keep someone his
age tied down for very long. He peered around at the different wall scrolls,
the ceiling, then Kei's fruit -- it was endearingly cute.

"I want to go play," he said plaintively. "Let's go find some cousins and
play, Kei." He turned his dark brown eyes onto her. She relented without a
fight.

'Who says children aren't powerful?' Kei mused to herself while quickly
washing her dishes and setting them on a drying rack by the sink. Kei allowed
herself to be dragged off by Mikel to find some playmates. It would give her a
chance to become reacquainted with her surroundings.

The compound as a whole hadn't changed much since she left. It probably
hadn't changed much since it was founded generations ago. The third stone from
the left at the base of the old well was loose as she remembered it. The old
bag who lived near the well still locked her beady little eyes onto Kei when
she moved the stone with the toe of her boot.

But there was something more to it. The old woman wasn't glaring at her
with annoyance for misdeeds Kei had yet to commit; she was afraid. Fear was an
emotion Kei could almost taste when it was in her presence. Her eyes slid away
from the old woman to take in the others who were milling about the small
courtyard. Mikel didn't notice their deference towards them; how they watched
in horror as he demanded to be lifted to Kei's back and carried around.

Kei wanted to yell at them. To scream that even now they were missing the
point. Mikel's happiness was far more important than their stupid beliefs and
superstitions. They had never been right about her, now more than ever. Her
eyes swept around her, daring anyone to 'correct' Mikel.

"Come on, let's go home," she shifted his weight slightly before trotting
across the grass lawn of the old bag and through the garden of an uncle on the
return trip. It was her preferred route home during her younger, defiant days.

*****

Kei bowed politely to her aunt and uncle before seating herself at the
kitchen table for dinner. She was a welcome guest in their home, and was often
invited to share meals with them.

She had always gotten along better with Xu's parents than with her own.
The resemblance between their mothers, who were sisters, was reflected in their
delicate facial features and short stature. Their lack of centimeters was
something they passed along to their daughters, though both Kei and Xu stood
taller than their mothers did.

Xu's mother poured tea for the three of them. She was the sweetest
tempered woman Kei knew, without a mean bone in her body. Her uncle was the
embodiment of patience. Not to say that he wasn't strict at times, but he
always believed that something good would come out of a situation if you waited
long enough for it to turn around.

In short, they were the perfect Anshin couple.

Their 'failings' as a family began with their daughter Xu. Her being an
only child was distressing to a people who believed in producing as many
offspring as possible. 'We must allow others the chance to rest on this
plane,' was the reasoning behind it. Keeping the women barefoot and pregnant
was how Kei saw it.

Xu's birth was a difficult one for her mother. Both of their lives were
spared, but at the cost of her aunt's ability to bear children. The clan was
worried about Xu growing up in a 'proper' family environment without any
siblings. There was no need for concern. Xu spent so much time with Kei's
family that she didn't lack for playmates.

Kei's mother was constantly pregnant while Kei was growing up. Kei was
their third child, though now the oldest living because her elder twin siblings
were killed by monsters when she was ten. Her mind pushed the memory away.
That event marked the beginning of her world unraveling. She admired the twins
more than the Spirits themselves.

Her parents were 'strong'. Two children could be replaced in less than
two years. Never mind that they were the ones who mattered the most to Kei.
Her father was always gone performing his duties as an elder and her mother had
babies to watch over. The twins did more to raise Kei than her parents had,
and they died because of some coming of age rite. It was an event that shook
Kei to her very core. Xu offered her all the support she could, but why should
a nine-year-old cousin be comforting her instead of her parents?

The bitterness Kei felt grew stronger when her parents began molding her
to be like *them*. She had a place. She had responsibilities. To them, she
was a machine to be programmed. It drove Kei insane. They didn't understand
her. They didn't even try to. Couldn't they see that she didn't want to
follow the path they chose for her? She couldn't follow it. That wasn't what
was meant for her.

By the time she was thirteen the tension had built to unbearable levels.
When it came time for her first coming of age ceremony, her world was
shattering because of the pressures her parents placed on her.

There are two coming of age ceremonies in an Anshin's life. The first was
to give them a 'name' after they had proven themselves by living outside the
compound walls for three days. The second came in their late teens after they
chose a direction in life. A 'title' was given to them that defined their
position within the clan.

The ceremony was Kei's chance to escape this miserable place. As soon as
they let her outside the walls, she ran off across the barren landscape of the
Serengetti Plains towards the coast. A transport was scheduled to leave the
next day. On this, she stowed away to the port city capital of Dollet. Once
there she wandered the streets for a couple of weeks doing anything she could
to survive.

Then one day a man approached her and asked her where her parents were.
When she had no answer for him, he assumed she was an orphan. He invited her
to be a student at a newly established school on the Balamb continent. She
would be in the school's first class of students. What the man offered solved
her immediate needs of food and shelter plus it gave her the opportunity to
make something of herself. Where the man took her was Balamb Garden.

Headmaster Cid was so kind and reassuring. He was a savior to a very
frightened Kei. His gentle manner wore through her defenses and got her to
open up to him. Months passed before his patience finally paid off and she
told him her story. He pulled her into a warm hug and welcomed her again to
his school. She would be a SeeD in his Garden.

The boost in confidence that Kei needed didn't come until midway through
the first term of the following school year. She literally bumped into her
much beloved (and often missed) cousin in the Cafeteria. Their first night
reunited was spent catching up on what happened right after Kei left.

As Kei suspected, her parents assumed that she became a meal for some
monster and life went on. Xu's parents weren't so certain and half suspected
that she'd left to blaze her own trail. But Centra was so remote, where could
she have gone to? The matter was left unresolved for those few who still
believed that she was alive.

Xu's own coming of age ceremony occurred without a hitch as far as anyone
knew. Her parents were quite nervous about sending their only child into the
wilderness, but it had to be done. It was because of her experiences out there
that Xu had a change of heart. She was already wavering regarding her beliefs
about monsters after her two cousins were killed, but then she encountered
monsters up close and personal.

It happened when she accidentally stumbled into a small nest of Jelleyes.
Their grotesque eyes and throbbing gel-like bodies wrapped themselves around
her. The knife she was given to prepare food with was turned against the
monsters. After pulling herself from the nest, she got herself to a small
stream. Her three days of trial were spent by that stream reliving hellish
nightmares of Jelleyes clinging to her.

The story was one only Xu and her cousin knew. She never told the elders
or her parents that she killed three monsters while she was being tested. But
that was what firmly turned Xu against the monsters.

Shortly after she was named, she read about Garden on one of the
newslinks. It sounded like a place where she would fit in perfectly. The idea
of sending any child, especially their only one, to a military academy appalled
her parents. They wanted her to remain with the clan and continue to live a
peaceful life.

But Xu was adamant. And when she got that way, she could try the patience
of an elder. Or five of them, to be exact. She refused to accept their
assurances that she would live a fulfilling life if she remained. She wanted
to leave and 'no' was the wrong answer. After making a nuisance of herself,
they finally gave in to her request. It was their only choice if they wanted
to live in peace again.

So there she was at Balamb Garden with her 'dead' cousin Kei. For which,
Kei was extremely grateful. Now that she had a family again, she gained the
confidence to give her best. The cousins swore to not give away their
relations (since both were ashamed and the world -- they discovered -- didn't
like the Anshin to begin with). But they were friends. There was no hiding
the joy they felt at seeing each other.

The elders hadn't believed Xu when she first told them that Kei was alive
and well in Balamb. It surprised Kei even more when Xu passed along an
invitation to visit. A couple years went by before Kei was able to swallow her
bitterness enough to brave facing them again. And even then, she wouldn't go
without Xu accompanying her.

That is, until recently. Circumstance had brought her here twice within
the last year without Xu's company. She wasn't any closer to feeling
comfortable, but at least she was getting by. Seeing Xu's parents again was a
welcome event. They had the same soothing effect on her raging spirit that Xu
did.

"How have you been, Kei?" Xu's father asked politely while the meal was
being served.

"Besides discovering that you all have lost your minds?" She asked with a
sense of sarcastic jest. They were used to Kei's biting sense of humor and
thus took no offense at her scathing comment.

"The elders are convinced that you are a Spirit incarnate. Doesn't it
feel good to finally be accepted into the clan?" Her aunt asked in an effort to
get Kei to see the brighter side of things.

"I never wanted to be accepted," Kei kept the edge from her tone. The
kind woman didn't deserve her bitterness. "It's presumptuous to foist these
responsibilities onto us. Xu and I have lives away from the clan, you know."

"Indeed, and that's what makes your work all the more important. You
naturally sought out a position that would allow you to best protect us. We
couldn't give you the training needed and so you found it elsewhere," her uncle
reasoned. Didn't the fact that her parents drove her away even register with
him?

"We're proud of you, Kei," her aunt said before taking a bite from the
food on her plate. Kei chewed slowly on what was in her mouth before
swallowing. The action was to give her a chance to organize her thoughts as
much as to eat.

"Why weren't you proud of me before? Why didn't the elders discover this
at my birth? Surely my own father would have known?" Kei challenged, her eyes
flashing with the frustration that was boiling up within her again.

Xu's mother put her hand over to touch the arm of her husband. He took a
deep breath before speaking. "Your father knew, but refused to believe the
signs. He was dead set upon changing you into who he thought you should be.
We spoke on several occasions before and after you ran away. He would not
trust the opinions of his brother-in-law since my hands have been tainted with
the blood of monsters." He explained in a chillingly calm tone. Kei shivered
as she pictured that same tone being used against her father to make his case
on her behalf.

"As much as it broke our hearts, we knew that we would lose Xu to the
outside world," her aunt continued. "And so we prepared her the best we could
for the challenges she would face out there. The elders are the ones who gave
her so much grief when she petitioned to leave."

A small smile crossed her aunt's face. "Fortunately, Xu learned well how
to be stubborn."

Their conversation lapsed into comfortable silence while they ate. There
were many things she wished to speak with them about. Especially them since
they were fair people, even when it came to admitting biases they may hold.

"I'm not a Spirit of Justice," Kei said while chasing a carrot around her
plate with her fork. "I'm a SeeD, plain and simple."

"Are you sure?" Her uncle asked, willing to play devil's advocate. "I've
been thinking about it. Your father believes that you are an irrational,
rebellious, and violent child. But I've noticed that you choose your battles
carefully."

"Explain?" She looked up from her dinner. This was a new tune for him.

"Our traditions go back many generations. Over time, those traditions
could be broken and then mended in an imperfect fashion. It would seem to me
that you rebel against those things that strike you as 'broken'. Much like you
*know* what things are corrupt and yearn to correct them," he explained
reasonably.

"......"

He sighed softly and leaned back in his chair to think of an example to
present. "Even after rejecting a majority of the clan's ways, you still
maintain our diet, do you not?"

"Yeah, but it makes sense. It's nutritionally sound and perfect for high
energy people," Kei pointed out.

"But when someone states that a misfortune is actually a punishment for a
misdeed you bristle?" He arched an eyebrow at her as she clinched her fork.
With conscious effort she released her grip, setting the utensil beside her
plate.

"Of course I do. It's a load of crap!" She growled.

"How do you know that?" He asked kindly.

"How do you not?" She asked in return, becoming frustrated by his games.

"See? The 'truth' is so obvious to you that you become frustrated and
angry when others don't see it."

"Are you implying that I'm right?" She leaned forward in her seat.

He shrugged it off. "It's not my place to tell others if they are right
or wrong. I only know what is true for myself. My personal beliefs maintain
that you are correct in saying misfortunes aren't punishments handed down by
the Spirits."

"What changed your mind?"

Her aunt and uncle exchanged a long look. This was a matter they had
obviously discussed at length. Her uncle took up his wife's hand and gave it a
squeeze before answering. "Xu is the one who convinced us. You know of the
misdeeds of my youth. After Xu's difficult birth was coupled with her own
'rebellious' behavior the elders declared that our only daughter was my
punishment.

"How could my greatest achievement be my punishment? We are both very
proud of her, even if we don't express it well at times. She never meant any
harm, unlike a certain mischievous cousin of hers," he favored Kei with a
smile. "You both have done well for yourselves. I know that you won't let us
down because that would mean letting yourselves down as well."

*****

It was chilly the next morning. Kei pulled up the light coat before
continuing along the path to her destination. She would never forget her way
to the house of the oldest elder. Many times she was dragged kicking and
screaming there. As she grew older, she found comfort in the tea he served and
the ear he offered.

She slipped into the outer room without knocking. He asked her to stop by
and would be expecting her. Her heavy boots were removed at the door, leaving
her to pad into the family room with socked feet.

"It's good of you to come by, child. Please be seated," he motioned to a
plush chair kitty-corner to the couch he sat on. A service for two was on the
coffee table before them. He poured her a cup of the hot liquid and offered it
to her. Fingers that were chilled during the walk here stung briefly at
holding the warm cup.

The old man looked the same as when she ran away. He had a willowy frame,
narrow features, and a receding hairline that ran to the back of his scalp.
What hair he did have was as white as a freshly fallen snow. Deep wrinkles cut
into his features. He was getting up there in years, and those years hadn't
been kind to him by preserving a youthful look. Kei didn't doubt that she
added to some of his worries. But despite it all, he was a fair tempered man
with more patience than most.

"You've grown up so quickly. Are you the same little girl that I used to
stand in the corner?" He mused before blowing on his tea and taking a small
sip.

"No, I'm not the same little girl. I've grown too big for such
treatment," she smirked while drinking from her own cup.

He smiled into his cup. She didn't deny that she was in need of such
treatment, just that he was no longer capable of delivering it.

"I asked you here today so that I could tell you a story," he said.

"Are there any Tonberries in it?"

"... No."

Kei pouted. "Then it can't be a very good story," she grumbled, easily
slipping into their old routine. That was always the first question she asked
when he announced that he was going to tell a story. By her childhood
reasoning a story wasn't a good story unless a Tonberry was featured in it.

"Hush now, while I tell you the tale."


A man of few years was he
Who'd yet to meet his destiny
Unknown to him,
a leader of men
Was it a coward's heart that he possessed?
Refusing to go at the Spirits' request
He wouldn't take part,
in the war about to start
For his disobedience the Spirits did punish
Trials on him befell, with a weight able to crush
Forgotten the private doubt he felt,
soon his resolve did melt
On the Spirits' behalf he fought with fervor and no will to stop
So his destiny was fulfilled, a knife in battle caused him to drop


The blood drained from Kei's face. "What the hell kind of story is
that?!" She demanded of the elder. Bad enough that the man was forced to fight
when he obviously wasn't willing, but it was his 'destiny' to die at the end!

"What do you think it means?" He resumed sipping his tea as she mulled
over it.

"Probably something stupid like 'do whatever the Spirits tell you' or
'destiny cannot be fought against'," she complained bitterly.

"You are correct. As a Spirit, it is something you should keep in mind
when making demands of others. If you asked for the life of one of your
clansmen, it would be delivered to you immediately. The destiny of others is
decided at your whim, never forget that," he gave her a level look over the rim
of his cup.

Kei blanched under his gaze then became angry. "Why you-" she broke eye
contact with him to look out the window. Outside, a man was walking briskly to
get to his destination and out of the cold. She didn't know him. He was just
another nameless person for all she knew or cared. And yet, she did care about
what happened to him. A part of her wished for him to hurry along and get out
of the nippy weather.

"I never asked for this..." she whispered softly.

"A bird is but a bird, a tree is a tree, and you, my child, are a Spirit.
You cannot change the conditions of your birth," he reasoned.

"Who says that I'm a Spirit?" She challenged. "That's something *you*
decided. I've lived my life just fine before you put these responsibilities on
me. Leave me alone." It came out as more of a plea than the angry retort she
had intended. She felt like she was begging him to be released of the heavy
chains he bound her in. The clan had very exacting traditions and expectations
of those they lifted to such 'noble' positions. She wanted nothing to do with
it.

"You have always been a bold one. Why do you lack confidence in yourself
now?"

"I'm not a Spirit. I'm the little girl you used to put in the corner
until she grew too big," she fought off the frustration she felt. Why wouldn't
he listen to her? Why wouldn't he believe her? Surely she would be the first
to know if what he said was true.

He smiled softly, noting the contradiction with her earlier statement of
no longer being who she was. "I can prove it. Show me what Guardian Spirits
travel with you."

Kei stared at him blankly while reaching into her pouch for her Guardian
Forces. She laid them out on the table before them one by one. Ifrit, the
fire elemental. Shiva, the mistress of ice. Quetzalcoatl, the spirit of
thunder. The Brothers, Sacred and Minotaur. The last stone she placed was the
demon, Diablos.

The elder reached forward and picked up Diablos, turning the stone slowly
in his hand as he examined it. "You've never bonded well with this one, have
you?"

What he asked was true. Diablos was uncooperative and slow in responding
to her summons despite her best efforts to build rapport. She always assumed
that it was because Diablos was a demon and defiant by nature.

The old man fished into the folds of his robes to pull out a milky white
stone. It was a complete contrast to the ebony stone that he held in his other
hand.

"In the balance of nature, everything has that to which it bonds and that
which it repels. Diablos is a chaotic element -- your opposite. This," he
held the white stone towards her, "is that to which you will bond. Take it and
feel the kinship of Alexander's Holy Judgment."

Kei reluctantly took the stone from him. The Spirit within seized her
with a force that caused her to fold over in her chair. A wave of nausea
washed over her as Alexander made itself known. She squeezed her eyes shut to
fight off the suffocating grip it had on her. It settled down, making itself a
constant presence in the back of her mind. When she opened her eyes the world
looked the same, but different. Many of the shades of gray melted away in
favor of a defined purpose. It was like wearing a blindfold all of her life
and suddenly having it lifted -- the revelations Alexander presented were that
profound.

"I see..." she slowly righted herself in the chair. She looked around the
room, seeing it again for the first time. Her gaze then fell onto the black
stone that was Diablos. Bile rose up in the back of her throat at the gall of
a demon to even be in the same room as her.

The elder saw the cool look in her eyes and placed the stone into a
pocket. "I doubt you want it back," he said dryly, but the slight humor in his
tone couldn't be missed.

"No, it disgusts me," she said, feeling all the more firm in her
convictions.

He stood up, prompting her to do the same. "Go, Kei, nurture your bond
with Alexander. It will continue to grow until it is truly symbiotic. You are
both Spirits of Justice, use it to your advantage."

She bowed to him, "Thank you, I will."

*****

The truck Kei rode in with her father bounced along the rugged road
towards the coast. Kei once again wondered why they never bothered to lay down
a proper roadway. This was the main route to and from the equally
underdeveloped port where the weekly transport moored. After learning all she
could from these people, she was anxious to return to the Garden. She will
never feel comfortable spending time here. She was glad that no one asked her
to stay longer.

Crowning a small hill they came across another vehicle. Kei's expression
froze as her heart began to rage. The other truck had gotten a flat tire and
was up on a jack. During the repair a swarm of Jelleyes attacked. Everyone
was locked in the truck, but they couldn't escape as long as the monsters
remained.

"Stop," Kei ordered. Her father didn't protest as he brought their truck
to a halt at the side of the road. She shoved her shoulder into the door to
force it open, causing the metal to creak in protest.

Her father watched with a detached, morbid fascination as his daughter set
about her work. The katana on Kei's belt was drawn from its scabbard. She bit
into her lip to let out a shrill whistle. That caught the Jelleyes' attention.
A pair of them detached themselves from the group to swoop in on her.

She didn't wait for them to close the distance. Instead, she lunged
forward to cut the closest one down in a rapid series of strokes. The second
one immediately recognized the threat she presented and withdrew to the safety
of numbers.

One step, then another, she slowly stalked her way up to the truck looking
like a woman possessed with the wrath of the Spirits. A shiver went down her
father's spine as he realized that the wrath of the Spirits was exactly it.
He's never seen her as a sweet, loveable daughter, but he hadn't seen her at a
merciless killer either. What force had they unleashed?

A pulse ran through one of the Jelleye's body in the motion she'd come to
recognize as a spell casting. Intense flames burst out around Kei, singeing
her clothes. She paid the flames no heed, swiping them away with her katana as
she continued to approach. Another Jelleye convulsed, sending a pillar of ice
up from the ground to impale her. It was equally ineffective as she simply
shook the spell off.

"Feel the power of the Holy Judgment," she declared before a large
mechanized castle rose up from behind her. Forelimbs that were spires pounded
into the ground as it lifted itself to its full impressive height. Hatches on
its shoulders opened up, glowing with gathering power. Countless beams of Holy
energy shot from the Spirit's shoulders, completely annihilating the Jelleyes.

Alexander dissolved back to the realm of the Spirits leaving Kei to slowly
sink to her knees before collapsing entirely. Her father rushed out of the
truck and ran to her. The people she saved were closer and thus made it to her
first.

"Elder, what's going on?" A man in his mid-twenties asked as he checked to
see if Kei was still breathing. She appeared to be no worse for wear except
for being utterly drained from her recent efforts.

"The Spirits saved you. Help me get her to my truck while your companions
change the tire. The monsters won't be long in returning," the elder helped
lift his daughter across the young man's shoulders. He carried her back to the
truck and carefully placed her in the passenger's seat. The seatbelts were
used to keep her lax form in an upright position.

With the tire now replaced, the other truck rolled to a stop near them.

The man opened the door to the cab, then paused to speak. "We'll come by
soon to thank the Spirits properly," he levered himself in and slammed the door
shut. The truck continued down the road towards the coast.

The elder considered following them, but instead turned the truck around
to return to the compound. Kei was in no condition to travel. That was the
logical reason for not taking her to the port.

'I can't send her back when she still has much to learn...' That was his
heart speaking.

*****

Frogs courting each other was the first sound Kei heard as she slowly came
around. There was something weighting on her forehead. A hand sent to
investigate removed the cold compress that it found. She opened her eyes. The
room was dark except for a wall display that read the time as 0323. This was
the room she'd spent the last few nights in. Why in the hell was she still
here? She was supposed to return to Balamb.

Her mind traced back through the day's events. Breakfast with Mikel.
Saying good-bye to her family. Leaving with Father for the port. A swarm of
monsters attacking.

She shifted awkwardly in the bed as she probed that memory. The monsters
were angry, and justifiably so. A truck broke down uncomfortably close to
their nest. The humans were trying to move, but they weren't fast enough. The
young were scared. Attack them! Frighten them away!

Kei sat up gasping for breath, freeing herself from the flashback. How
did she know that? Fear crept up her spine. She kept a close handle on it as
she carefully probed the memory again.

While the Jelleyes did have a good reason to be upset, the humans were
working as quickly as possible to rectify the situation. An attack was
unwarranted. One of their numbers was cut down as a warning to retreat. When
they didn't, she had no choice but to the defend the non-aggressor.

They tried to hold her off, but their attacks were like a child's.
Couldn't they see that they were in the wrong and would soon be punished if
they didn't back off?

What happened next was fragmented. She summoned Alexander... or did it
summon itself? Power, barely channeled, flowed through her as the Guardian
Force used its Holy Judgment to destroy the Jelleyes. Alexander released her,
assuring her that justice was done before she blacked out.

Panic seized Kei as she realized just how much of that battle was
Alexander working through her. If it happened once, it could happen again.
She was hardly SeeD material if she couldn't control her actions during battle.
The very idea that she could be possessed left her feeling unsettled.

Alexander awoke, disturbed by her train of thought. 'Why are you in my
mind?!' She held her head between her hands while trying to free herself from
the Guardian Force.

Kei squeezed her eyes shut to find herself in *her* space -- her Puzzle
Stone work area. Half finished puzzles were strewn across a workbench. A pile
of puzzles she'd become frustrated with in the past and broke occupied a
corner. This place wasn't nearly as organized as Xu's area, which she had
visited on occasion when they worked together on a puzzle.

Looking back to the bench she saw that a man with white hair that flowed
down to his shoulders in waves sat on a stool. He wore loose fitting white
trousers with knee boots. His top was likewise white and consisted of multiple
folds and layers that were belted together at the waist. The aspect of him
that unnerved Kei the most were his eyes... or lack thereof. His eye sockets
contained balls of white without any pupils. He was blind.

"I apologize for invading your sanctuary," he said in a voice that could
be either soothing or commanding depending upon his intent. "Here is the only
place we can meet like this."

"You're Alexander?" She knew who he was as soon as she saw him.

"And you are the Anshin, Kei," he cocked his head slightly. "Or, more
precisely, these are the names to which we will answer to, for the time being."

Kei drew a stool out from under the bench to sit on. She'd never heard of
a Guardian Force manifesting itself through a Puzzle Stone. Then again, she'd
never heard of one wielding as much control over its bearer as Alexander had
over her.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"To get to know you. I can't have you being afraid of me," he said.

"I'm afraid of what you do to me. Of when I lose control."

"You've never lost control. I can influence you, speak with you, but I
cannot outright control you. Your instincts are what take over." He twitched
head again slightly. Kei began to recognize the motion as him having some sort
of 'insight'.

"Don't look so surprised. The Travelers have told you repeatedly of your
true nature. You're being more stubborn than usual. Stop being a frightened
Traveler and live up to what you are."

She crossed her arms defensively. "Why me?"

He angled his head again. "What? You think you were *chosen*, like this
was some random game of chance in which life would somehow hit upon a 'good'
person. The Traveler who introduced us was right; you are what you are. You
have always been a patron of Justice -- my kindred spirit -- and you always
will be."

"Why don't I feel different? Special?" She challenged. Why did they have
to tell her about this? Why didn't she know from birth? The entire story
seemed concocted, though less so when she considered the fact that she was
sitting here speaking with a Guardian Force.

"'Different' and 'special' are all relative. This is as close as you will
get to a glowing light that declares you as having a greater purpose. But you
don't need me to tell you that do you? You've always known, as has your
Traveler cousin, Xu.

"You've always known where the lines were, how hard you could push, and
what results it would yield when you did. You wanted to challenge the system,
to either mend or break something that was made up of half-truths. But there
are bigger battles for you to fight now. More wily opponents for you to either
reform or destroy.

"That is where I come in. I am the Guardian of Holy Judgment on this
plane. When one such as yourself is here, it is my obligation -- and honor --
to assist you in completing your mission." His 'eyes' locked onto her. He
seemed to know exactly where she was and what emotions she felt. Doubt mingled
with curiosity to know what he did.

"What is my mission?"

"I don't know," he admitted with a sigh. "The winds are calm, but I can
feel a storm coming. It won't stay peaceful forever."

"..." She didn't like his vague answer. It sounded entirely too much like
something the elders would feed her. Relying on faith alone to prove her
convictions was something she didn't indulged in.

"Come now, Kei, you've never been one to back down from your duty. I
think you'll understand the truth of what I'm saying soon enough. The first
thing we should do is to help Xu find her kindred spirit. Then she will have a
companion to assist her."

"She'll have a voice in her head too, you mean," was Kei's biting
response.

"... A voice of experience that has been on this plane since its
conception," he amended. "Don't belittle the guidance we offer, it'll make our
relationship a difficult one if you do."

Kei sighed and turned her attention to the puzzles on the bench. One of
them caught her attention. It was a rectangular board with eight panels bound
together. She could always make all sorts of different shapes out of the
panel, but never understood the point of the puzzle. Turning it around in her
hands, she noticed that the panels now had sections of three linked rings on
it. She folded the panels around in a way to unlink the rings, then undid her
work to re-link them. The board shimmered before disappearing from her grasp.
It placed itself on the shelf as one of the completed puzzles.

"I never saw the rings before," she commented thoughtfully.

"Many things that eluded you before will now become apparent," Alexander
assured. He wasn't condescending in his statement. It was meant to comfort
her. What other things will 'look' different now? Hum...

"Are you blind?" It was a blunt question, but he was reacting to
everything she did. She'd assumed that he was because of his pupil-less
eyes...

"I do not see the world as you do, if that is what you mean," he drawled.
"Are you blind for not seeing things as I do?"

That was a very good question. The type of 'sight' they were discussing
now wasn't a physical thing. It was the ability to look into a person's soul
and know what lay there. What was the person's intent? Would the better good
be served or some selfish end? Who and what would be affected? Such insights
were on the level of the profound. She felt humbled when confronted with the
magnitude of it all.

"You'll help me to see?" She whispered softly, looking over at him for
some indication of his co-operation.

"As I've said, I'm at your service," he bowed the upper half of his body
towards her. "Have you any more questions?"

She racked her brain quickly for anything else. "I know that you are
aligned with Holy, but am I as well?"

He nodded, "It is the nature of the righteous. We hold a strong influence
over this region of the world. The monsters we destroyed yesterday were
especially vulnerable to Holy. On the other hand, that does give us a weakness
to the dark power. I recommend avoiding demons like Diablos."

"I already got rid of it."

"A wise move."

She picked up another puzzle from the bench to fiddle with it. Likewise,
this one had markings on it that she'd never seen before. It practically
solved itself now that she could tell what she was trying to accomplish.

Slowly, Alexander slid off of the stool he sat on. "Manifesting myself
like this is draining. Whenever you wish to talk, invite me here." With a
courteous bow he dissipated into the darkness.

Kei let out a long sigh and sank down on the stool while stretching
herself across the bench. She leaned her chin on the metal surface with her
arms before her and a puzzle between her hands.

She finally figured it out. After all this time, she finally figured out
what she was supposed to be doing with herself. Instincts and fate carried her
through up to this point, but now she could get herself on track with definite
resolve. There was no reason to hold back or any excuses for slacking off.
She'd be the best SeeD at Balamb Garden.

'Xu will challenge you for that honor,' a bemused part of her quipped.
Her cousin was good competition. Probably the only evenly matched rival she'd
find if what she now knew was true.

And why shouldn't it be true if it's what she believed? Truth and fact
often intertwine. In this complex mind game of Anshin beliefs and spiritual
revelations it appeared as though no one was going to force a distinction to be
made between the two. Such nonsense. Life was better when it was
straightforward. Then she wasn't left in the position of explaining something
to the Headmaster that he'd either disregard as a cultural belief or send her
off to speak with Doctor Kadowaki. If no one else did, Xu would understand.

*****

The unexpected extension of her stay allowed Kei the time to better
reacquaint herself with her clansmen. This wasn't necessarily a good thing as
she soon discovered. Much to her annoyance, they either held her in reverence
or were afraid of her. Neither reaction was appropriate in her estimation.
She found herself longing for the days when she was regarded as a troublemaker.
At least then she was treated like a *person*.

After the children were let out of classes for the day, Kei would greet
her siblings as they came home. Not all of them arrived immediately after
class, of course. The older ones had chores to do. Mikel would go racing
through the house until he found her and dragged her outside to play with him.
It'd been years since Kei let down her guard enough to enjoy the simple
pleasure of playing in a sandbox.

At first, the other children were afraid to play with her. Not because
she was an adult and adults didn't indulge in such things, but because she was
a Spirit. In a bold gesture that seemed out of place for the usually shy
Mikel, he spoke up on her behalf, telling them that she was his sister first.
That meant that she could play with them and then go do what the elders said
she had to.

Kei chuckled on the inside. She'd never done what the elders told her to
regardless of her status within the clan. As long as Mikel understood that she
was there for him, that's what mattered.

Today's after school activities included a game of ball tag. It didn't
take Kei long to discover that she was at a disadvantage versus the little
monsters. Being nearly twice their size made her twice as big of target and
them only half. They were also monkey-like in their gyrations. When did she
lose the ability to bounce around as they did?

Mikel came scrambling around a corner to avoid the ball thrown by an older
boy. Life went into slow motion as she watched him slip on the gravel path and
go crashing down to his knees. Things sped up again when his woeful cries
shattered the peaceful afternoon. Kei was at his side in an instant to comfort
him.

It was a nice enough afternoon that they'd both changed into shorts when
he came home. The consequences of this were twofold in that he had no
protection from his fall, but at least it was easier to access the wound. Bits
of gravel were embedded into the soft flesh. Blood welled up around it, the
body's way of cleaning out the wound.

The children gathered around them as Kei got a better look. "Well, let's
get this healed up, hum?" She fished into a pouch and pulled out a Cure bead.
Tears streamed down Mikel's cheeks as he watched her with curiosity. Small
pebbles fell to the ground as the scrapes were healed completely by her spell.
A kerchief from another pouch was used to wipe away the remaining blood.

"All better," Kei announced cheerfully. Mikel's eyes were wide as he
touched his knees with a testing finger.

"The Spirit used *magic*," one of the kids whispered loudly.

"Of course I did," Kei snapped. "There's no reason for Mikel to be in
pain when there's something that can be done to relieve it."

By then one of the other parents had arrived after being fetched by a
concerned playmate. She looked ready to argue the point, but wouldn't dare
because it would be improper to correct a Spirit in front of the children. Kei
stood up while pulling Mikel to his feet. She shoo-ed him to go on ahead and
get ready for dinner.

"As a parent how can you allow your children to suffer needlessly?" She
whispered for the mother's ears alone while passing her.

The woman's eyes widened, then narrowed. Kei offered a brief bow in
parting before following Mikel to the family home.

Besides playing with her brother, Kei made it a point to visit the head
elder again. The desire to learn more about Alexander and her bond to the
Guardian Force ate away at the back of her mind like a disease. He did have
more to teach her, she just had to be patient enough to listen. Their meetings
were always held at his house with a pot of hot tea between them.

The first topic of discussion after their greetings were exchanged was her
healing Mikel. That and her words to the aunt hadn't gone unnoticed. Kei held
no illusions that she would be able to slide by without some reprimand coming
her way.

"Why do you enjoy causing dissent among your own people?" The elder asked
her in an off-handed manner.

She answered him with equal levity in her tone. "Why do you insist on
being wrong?" Her sweet smile only added weight to the sting in her words.

He leaned back and chuckled in response. "You'll prod us in the direction
you think we should go willing or not."

"I can't change the way the clan thinks, only show them the error in their
ways."

"What if you're wrong?"

Kei considered the tea in her cup before answering. "Do you honestly
think it'll hurt my feelings to be rejected? I don't care what you decide, but
I'm sure as hell not going to compromise my beliefs to conform with the clan's
traditions."

He sipped his tea, watching her over the rim of his cup. "Do as you will."

A few days later, Xu's parents invited Kei over for dinner. She had never
considered herself to be much of a social butterfly, but that's what she felt
like during her extended visit.

Dinner this time around maintained an amiable air until it came time for
her to leave.

"Will you please give this to Xu?" Her uncle pressed a small wrapped
bundle into her hands. "It's time for this to be returned to her."

"I'll deliver your package to her without fail," she assured.

*****

Two men occupied a comfortable annex office that was set off to the side
of Kei's family home. A path of well-traveled gravel physically separated the
two buildings from each other. This was as much for psychological effect as to
establish the separation of the elder's family life and his duties performed
within the office.

Kei's father sat with the head elder. It was an informal meeting that the
younger man did not look forward to.

"How is your daughter doing?" The eldest asked. Kei's father had several
daughters, but there was only one who had caught the attention of the elders --
again.

"She's doing well, and hasn't terrorized the aunt by the old well in a
couple of days," he answered blandly. He'd already explained Kei's outburst
and how she kept her anger in check to the old woman -- that no harm would come
to her if she avoided Kei. That was one force even he feared -- her often
unrestrained anger. It was part of the reason he was hoping that they were
wrong...


"The other morning I saw her playing with your youngest son. It's good
that they have a chance to bond like this," the old man commented.

He didn't answer. How could he answer? 'Yes, it's good that she has a
chance to be with her brother before we send her back out to be killed.'

The other noticed his lack of response. The younger elder's treatment of
Kei was a longstanding issue between the two men. The part of Kei's father
that was an elder understood the obligations one must fulfill at times. The
part of him that was a father rebelled against sending his daughter into such a
dangerous world. Especially after losing his first children.

"She is a Spirit, you can no longer deny that," the oldest stated gently.

He wanted to deny it. He wanted to stubbornly maintain that they were
wrong about her. That she was no one special, just a hot-tempered girl. But
that wasn't the case and he knew it.

"Why do the Spirits keep claiming my children?" He sighed heavily. It was
a complaint unfit for someone of his station. A thought he would never voice
aloud to any other, not even his wife. The man he sat with was the only one
who could offer a sympathetic shoulder for his ongoing grief.

"You're not the only one to lose his children," he was reminded. "Think
of your brother-in-law. He has only Xu."

"If I had one child or ten, the number makes no difference. Perhaps I'm a
selfish man."

"No," the eldest disagreed, "you are a father."

"And not a very good one at that. I pushed her away. I tried to drive
her away from her destiny and only succeeded in earning her distrust. Will she
ever be able to forgive me?"

"That I cannot say," the old man said. "There is much the two of you need
to discuss. You should do so while you have the chance. Who knows when you
will see her again?"

He nodded his agreement with the idea. He needed to make things right by
her. To let her know that it was his intention to save her, not hurt her. And
as her father and protector, he failed her.

"I fear the wrath of Justice," he said. The best he could hope for was
justice tempered with understanding and mercy instead of the anger that drove
it.

*****

By midweek Kei found herself feeling nostalgic about her childhood home.
She walked along the many criss-crossing paths remembering where they once lead
and was surprised by where many ended up now. The clan was growing as it did
every generation. More children were coming up in the traditional way and were
ignorant of the world out there. She watched them from the path, torn as to if
she should enlighten them or leave them to their peaceful ignorance. Did they
ever feel the restlessness that plagued her as a child?

It was after one of these long reflective walks that Kei quietly slipped
into her family's home. It was far past a respectable hour to be awake. She
had bid her aunt and uncle a good night after dinner but didn't immediately
return home. Instead, she explored the many nooks and crannies that were her
hidey-holes when she was a child. Some of them she was too big to reach any
more, others were no longer there due to the passage of time. Those that she
did find intact she spent time in reminiscing. She was back in this miserable
place and yet... It felt like home.

"You've finally returned," a deep voice that could only belong to her
father said from the darkened family room as she passed by.

With a soft sigh, she retraced her steps to stand in the room's arching
doorframe. "It was getting late. I suspect that you'll have chores for me to
do in the morning." She didn't begrudge the menial tasks that her parents gave
her to do. They were nothing when compared to what her siblings had to do or
what she did while growing up.

She could only make out the faintest outline of where he sat on a
comfortable couch. The hallway light that guided midnight runs to the lavatory
was around the corner and provided little assistance in this situation.

"Sit, Kei, we've needed to talk for nearly ten years," he invited. His
voice sounded heavy to her, almost as though he had been crying. She sat on
the step that led down into the room. With the light angling behind her and
from the side, she was a dark silhouette against a white backdrop to him. She
couldn't read his face and he couldn't read hers.

"I was wrong. I didn't want to be right, and so I chose to be wrong. I
knew... I knew from the day that you were born that you different -- special.
Every day you grew bigger, stronger, smarter... The pride of any parent, and
yet I knew.

"I don't think you can understand the pain that caused me; knowing the
things that I did. Knowing that I would lose your brother and sister
beforehand. Wanting desperately to change the course of the future while being
obligated to remain silent. Do you know how much it hurt to comfort your
mother after their deaths knowing that I could have prevented them?" He had
been crying earlier and resumed doing so. Muffled grief raked against Kei's
ears as she listened to her father break down.

She wasn't a woman without compassion and so spoke gently when addressing
him. "What do you mean 'you knew'?"

His outline leaned forward to get something off a nearby table before
settling back against the couch. "Do you know why I'm an elder?"

"Didn't you inherit the position from your father?" That's how these
things worked as far as she knew. And one of her brothers would go on to be an
elder himself once her father stepped down from the position.

"What you say is true, but I have two older brothers who were eligible.
The reason I was chosen to succeed was because of my gift. I have the 'gift'
of ForeSight, a man cursed with knowing the future before it unfolds."

Kei digested this news in stunned silence. Folklore had it that certain
people were born with gifts, skills that weren't within the grasp of a common
man. Some could communicate with animals and monsters. Others had an uncanny
knack for knowing what the next day's (or next year's) weather would be like.
There were a few legends regarding ForeSight. It was a gift that had a way of
destroying the man who possessed it. His efforts to alter the future would
either backfire or he'd go mad with his knowledge. Kei shivered on the inside.

He resumed speaking, taking her silence as an invitation to continue. "I
knew that you were a Spirit. How could I miss the brilliant shine that you
resonate with? I'm a selfish man. I wanted to keep you here, away from the
duty that claims you. You could never be happy here, I know that, this isn't
the place where you belong. But I wanted you to stay where I could protect
you."

She swallowed the growing lump in her throat. She was torn between being
angry with him and feeling pity because of the situation he was caught in. All
his attempts to mold her were done in an effort protect her from her destiny.
A destiny she never believed in.

Or did she?

Did Xu believe? No, she doesn't even know that she's a Spirit. Could
that be why Xu's been feeling so restless? It was silly for her to even
consider such hogwash as possibly holding a grain of truth. But if it did...

His outline shifted again. A heavy sigh followed, "I knew that you would
find me here one day, drunk enough to swallow my pride. You don't have to
forgive me or even pretend to understand, but know why I've acted as I have."

She didn't answer him.

Instead, she pondered the purpose of her life. The meaning of life
itself, really. What did it all matter in the end if the Anshin point of view
was correct and this all was just a dream? If, one day, she died and then
'woke up', what did her life here matter to anyone? Was this some sort of
cosmic game being carried out at a deity's whim?

The idea of having a destiny didn't sit well with her. No one else should
be in control of her life except for her. But, another part of her argued, was
she ever truly in charge of her life? As a member of SeeD, she'd handed her
future over to them. If she were ordered to go into battle, she would go. She
mulled over that revelation silently.

The first streams of morning light streaked through the parted curtains of
the family room. Her father's outline became more defined. She could make out
his slouched form on the couch. A bottle of wine sat on the low table before
him with a pair of glasses, only one of them containing any of the dark liquid.
A deep rumbling came from her father. She mistakenly thought that he'd drifted
off to sleep before he spoke.

"Do you know what separates justice from vengeance?"

She spent less time trying to figure out his riddle than trying to see
where he was going with it. "What?"

"Mercy. Never forget the value of mercy," he sighed heavily. This time
the noise he produced was from sleep brought on by the liquor and the early
hour. Kei approached her father, taking in his prone form. She'd never seen
him like this before and doubted that she ever would again.

She poured a splash of wine into the empty glass and held it in brief
toast. "Thanks, old man."

The sliding door that separated the family room from the rest of the house
was slowly shut after she arranged her father for a peaceful sleep. No one
would disturb him until he was ready to present himself again.

Old fool. Why did it take them so long to see eye to eye?

-----
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