Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Summons and Idiot Summoners ❯ Signing up,and Complete Randomsness ( Chapter 1 )

Summons and Idiot up Summoners!

A young girl wanted to be just like Yuna! But there are no more Aeons to summon! And why bother when sin isn't alive any more but to fool around and make horrible things happen to the worlds of Final Fantasy!!! Now the girl named Katrina must find her own guardian, learn the final summon, and ask Yuna on Aeon advice and how to get a cute boy! Well this is going to be the biggest crossover I have ever made! It is going to be messed up cause Katrina is going to ask all of her little friends for some help and well maybe some of her friends that are going to be in this fanfic!

Ashley/Rosiana: I do not own Final Fantasy but I own characters that I have made up!!

~*~Signing up~*~

Ashley: So this is going to be good! Okay I have the little place to start it off! Oh and those who are wondering I am Ashley! People hate me and my fics like Final Fantasy Life, which really sucked! Okay I like need people who like want to star in my fic! Tell me stuff cause people who are in it get to have their own summons and well guardians, which people will pick! I already chose some for me cause well I am Katrina! So like people who want to be summoners well all you have to do is tell me your name and info on your self and well other stuff! Tell me the Summon you would like to start off with, who your guardians are (Very limited like 41 Final Fantast characters or if you want to count all of the people that are well you meet and play a big role in the game! well I can include Kingdom hearts stuff and your own made up characters!) and who your cute boyfriend is cause well Yuna had a cute boyfriend!

Yuna: Why? Why must this happen to us?

Sephiroth: I don't want an idiot to control me! O_o

Garnet: Besides who the heck would want us as guardians?

Ashley: well Yuna cannot use her own guardians cause she is going to be one! ~Laughs evilly~ HAHAHAHAH!!

Every one else: NO!!!!!!!!!!

Ashley: Too bad! And of course Aiko and I will get to pick our own guardians first since well we are the best and you are not Final Fantasy!!

Aiko: Oh Ashley you are so evil!

Ashley: Thank you. Oh and call me Ash! That's what all my friends call me!

Cid: ~under his breath~ Yah F*&^ing right!

Ashley: What was that Cid?

Cid: ~ shaking like a little scared puppy~ nothing!

Hojo: Where's my lawyer? I need to sue this girl a lot!!

Ashley: Hey if you sue me I can sue you back double the amount cause my Aunt is a lawyer from Guatemala!

Every one: You're Spanish?

Ashley: Is that a problem? Every one thinks I am adopted! ~Cries~ and I am not! My mother is Spanish!

Ashley's Mother: Ashley what is going up in that room of yours?

Ashley: Nothing! Just having fun with some friends!

Ashley's mother: What ever! Well see if they can stay for dinner!

Ashley: Okay! ~Grins evilly at characters~ MUHAHAHA!!

Kuja: So Ashley who the hell did you pick as your guardian?

Ashley: Why should I tell?

Police officer: We're looking for some one by the name of Yuffie?

Yuffie: ~holding a bag full of every one's stuff~ that's me!

Police Officer: you are under arrest for stealing and we also hate you as a game character!

Yuffie: ~ giving shocked look~ What? O_o I demand my lawyer!

Lawyer: Sorry you sued me for 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,0 00,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000. Oh and one bag of materia. So why the hell should I help you?

Yuffie gets taken away and is sentenced to a bizillion years in jail. Oh wait make that for three years.

Ashley: Okay Yuffie is out but we can still use her! I think!

Jenova: Why should I be here? I am not even a character!

Ashley: Yah you are. You helped out Sephiroth to the promise land and well did evil things!

Jenova:………..

Ashley: That's what I thought!

Aiko: So can I use ~ whispers into my ear~

Ashley: Of course you can Aiko! You are my best friend and you can get what ever you want!

Cait Sith: Hey Tidus Leggo my Eggo you thousand year old freak!

Tidus: I don't have it!

Cait Sith: Zidane give it back!

Zidane: I don't have it!

Ashley: You think Yuffie has it?

Yuffie: ~ On walkie-talkie~ I didn't steal your damn eggo!

Cait Sith: Ha! The day Yuffie doesn't steal anything is the day I stick firecrackers up my ass!

Cloud: What kind was it?

Cait Sith: the one with chocolate chips- ~notices something on Vincent's lip~

Cait Sith: hey you stole my eggo waffle! You Vampire! Give it back!

Vincent: No way man! And I am not a vampire you freak of an animal!

Ashley: Hey every body you know what that means? Yuffie didn't take it and guess what! Fire cracker time!

Cid: here you go Cait Sith! ~Hands Cait Sith firecracker to stick up his ass~

Cait Sith: ~sticks firecracker up his stuffed up ass~ There happy now?

Aeris: Hey Cid don't you usually carry Dynamite around?

Cid: I ran out!

Aeris: Why don't you go and buy some then?

Cid: Well I am to damn lazy then!

Ashley: Hey Cait Sith comfy yet?

Cait Sith: Okay happy now? Hey can some one get this out for me? ~ Sees every one glaring evilly at him~ guys?

Ashley: lets light it!

Every one: yah!

Cid: here you go Ashley! ~Hands a lighter to me~

Ashley: Thank you!

Cait Sith: Oh please have mercy on me! I will do any thing!

Ashley: anything? Hmm…~Thinks~ CATH SITH BEING BLOWN UP OR SEEING HIM DO MY EVERY WHIM? Nope sorry Cath Sith! ~ Beings to light Cath Sith's ass with the firecracker in it~

Cait Sith: PLEASE NO HAVE MERCY ON ME AS I AM A- ~gets cut off when he blows up into a million little Cath Sith bits~

Ashley: Well looks like we went down another charac- ~ someone else walks in~

Cath Sith number 202: Hiya guys!

Ashley: Okay so we killed Cait Sith as least 202 times! Big deal!

Vincent: Well guess he wont finish his eggo waffles! ~ Runs down to my kitchen and eats all the eggo waffles and then hears screaming coming from Vincent as my mom hits him with a frying pan~

Cid: When are we going to finish this chapter?

Ashley: Like when I get to at least 20 or more pages!

Every one: WHAT!? O_o

Ashley: Too bad for you guys! This is going to be really crapy cause I am going to give all of the info on you guys to well for my reviewer to pick who is going to pick you little victims- I mean guardians! MUHAHAHA!!

Every one: AHHHHH!!!! RUN FOR THE HILLS!! DON'T BELIEV HER! SHE LIES ABOUT EVERY THING! SO PLEASE DON'T!

Ashley: Well here it is going to start! YAH! ~Grabs some popcorn~ well lets see who we got!

Final Fantsy Info characters! Yah! ^_^

Cloud Strife: Yah lets do evil things to him!

Cloud: God I hope I don't get embarrassed bye here! Dear lord save me!

Cloud

Age: 21 ~ gets older by the minute thanks to an evil spell from Sephiroth! Go Sephiroth! YAH! ~

Eye: They are blue and glow like on Halloween! Cool! I think!

Clothes: He dresses with the color that is Gay! So watch out girls!

Girlfriend: Hmm let see either Aeris or Tifa to hard to decide! How bout he loves himself! ~Laughs hysterically~

His abilities are this: He can use limit breaks from his brand new buster sword as I have confiscated every one's ultimate weapons! HAHAHAH!!

Next we have oh Aeris our little dead Cetra friend who we all brought back to life!

Aeris Gannisbrough ~ I think that is how you spell it! ~

Age: 22!

Eyes: they are the same as Sephiroth! Yah Sephiroth!!

Clothes: Well who said pink is a bad thing? Too much pink isn't good! Oh and that little materia which is the white Materia! YAH! GO HOLY!!

Her abilities!: Well she can use limit breaks and white magic! YAH GO AERIS AND WHITE MAGIC!

Boyfriend: well none cause she died!

Next would be Tifa! Yah Tifa!

Tifa Lockheart

Age: 20

Eyes: A nice brown with a hint of red!

Clothes: well a little bit of the gothic look!

Her abilities: She uses her limit breaks and her fists to beat the hell out of people! Yah Tifa!

Boyfriend: well duh probably cloud! Or maybe not!

Red XIII: Yah cutest of them all!

Red XIII!

Age: 48 but in human years he is only a 16-year-old teenager!

Eyes: Red or are they brown?

Clothes: Clothes? What clothes?

His abilities! Limit breaks and of course to sniff out little bean burritos!

Cid: Yah for Cid! What am I cheering for Cid?

Cid Highwind: Old fashion pilot! Same name as the Highwind too!

Age: 35 and probably proud of it too!

Hair: Cool he is a dumb blonde YAH!

Clothes: Well let's see an old pilot clothes is what I think!

Girlfriend: What girlfriend? Who would want a guy who swears too much?

Vincent: Oh god here comes my turn! Dear lord spare my shame!

Ashley: Don't worry Vincent I won't embarrass you. Much.

Vincent Valentine: Yah evil with good looks!

Age: Umm I think he is 40! Nah just kidding! He's only 29! I think!

Eyes: who can tell? His hair and cape thingy are always in the way!

Clothes: Well just think of him as Cloud in Kingdom Hearts with out the headband and the guns and there you have it! Well with the headband and the guns!

Cloud: They made me look like Vincent in Kingdom hearts and never consulted me? Why?

Ashley: Well I thought it looked okay until when I first bought it I was like this! ~ Holding game of Kingdom Hearts and crying at the ground~ Oh why Cloud? Why did you join the evil side? To fight and win back your love Aeris and kill Sephiroth, which I have never, beat him! Damn Japanese who mad him such a hard boss! DAMN YOU ALL!

Japanese man: Not it is not! We made him big and strong to feel like big strong idiot!

Sephiroth: WHAT!! ~ Grabs Masamune and begins to slice and dice Japanese man~ DIE YOU LITTLE IDIOT WHO MADE MY FAVORITE SHOW DISAPPEAR AND MAKE REPEATS OF POKEMON!

Every one else: WHAT? O_o YOU LIKE POKEMON?

Sephiroth: why else wouldn't I have all the stuff like the trading cards? ~ Hugs card of pikachu~ I LOVE YOU PIKACHU!

Ashley: Okay! Here is the rest after that strange moment!

Girlfriend: Lets just say he made out with Lucrecia a couple of times behind Hojo's back! ^_^

Hojo: Is that right dear?

Lucrecia: Yup that's right! Vincent and me had so much love and sex with each other it felt like I was on Cloud Nine!

Every one else who is staring back at Vincent then to Lucrecia: Oh my F*&^%ing GOD!

Ashley: That was very weird! Oh and member people! If you want to be in this fic you just have to review and tell me who you want! Now where were we? Oh yah the personal information on every one! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ~ Coughs ~

Cait Sith: YAH LETS BLOW HIM UP! AGAIN!

Cait Sith: Umm a robot?

Age: How the hell should I know? When the hell was he created?

Cait Sith 202: Hey that's not nice to say- ~ gets cut off when Sephiroth chops his head off~

Tifa: Oh my god they killed Cait Sith!

Aeris: You Bastards!

Ashley: Okay way too much South Park!

Sephiroth: ~in little Japanese tone like in South Park~ Oh Chin Pokemon rules! Pika Pika CHU!!! ~ farts~

Every one else: SEPHIROTH!

Ashley: Okay!

Eyes: Well they are the color of a stuffed animal right?

Clothes: Yah a little crown and red cape! Help some one call the fashion police!

Fashion Police: CODE RED! I REPEAT CODE RED! NEED TO FIX SOME FAHISION HERE!

Ashley: Okay!

His abilities: Okay he can use cool limit breaks! Oh and he can sing too! Come on Yuna and Cait Sith! Sing Real Emotion with me! YAH! ~Sings Real Emotion song from Final Fantasy X-2~

Yuna: She is really weird.

Kuja: You said it sister!

Yuna: ~takes a couple steps back~

Ashley: KUJA! HUGGLES! ~Hugs Kuja~

Kuja: HELP! NO SMEARING MAKE-UP! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ashley: Oh you're mean! ~Sticks tongue out~ Now where were we? Oh yah! Next?

Barret: Damn he swears as much as Cid!

Barret Wallace! I think that's his name!

Age: Like 32? OLD GEZER!!!!

Eyes: like dud! Brown or black! Just pick a card! I mean color!

Hair: Umm well not much right? He acts like Mr. T a lot I mean! Shish1

Clothes: You know the gun arm with the boss outfit of a gang. You know the usually for an idiot!

His abilities: Okay listen to him or else he will blow off you head! Not a pretty sight! Oh limit breaks and ammo for sure! DUH! : P

Ashley: Next lets say stuffs about Jenova! Lets give her some applause! ~Crickets chirp~ Okay for get that!

Jenova: What the hell is she supposed to be any ways? Besides a 2000 year old dead thingy?

Jenova not last name!

Age: well duh 2000 years old!!

Eyes: umm weren't they on her head and one of her boobs?

Clothes: umm does tentacles count as clothing or not?

He abilities: It is a her right? Okay she has five different forms and helped try to take over the world! YAH! She can use what is called planet magic whatever the hell that is!

Jenova: some 13-year-old bitch has publicly humiliated me!

Ashley: Well that's is what every one Fanfiction.net has said bout me! But hey I cried bout it and also almost quit but nah I didn't feel like it!!

Jenova: Some one please kill me! Please? Ah God Damn IT!

Ashley: Next we have Sephiroth the crazy psycho murderer of the Cetra Aeris! YAH! Umm I mean BOO!!!!!

Sephiroth: oh be quiet Ashley! GOD!

Sephiroth: Umm he is dead right? Oh right he isn't! I have to take care of him like a dog!

Sephiroth: WHAT YOU LITTLE- ~gets shocked by the shock collar I put on him~

Ashley: Thank you 5000 bolts of electricity! Thanks Pikachu!

Pikachu: Pika Pika! ~ Attacks Sephiroth with Thunder~

Sephiroth: ~crispy~ ouch……

Age: well that guy who ran Gold Saucer said he was the same age as Cloud! Well he is probably much older! OLD GEZER SEPHIROTH!!!

Clothes: Well lets see: Black cape, black boots, and black everything! God Sephiroth get a life! Shish!!

Eyes: the same as Aeris except his glow! Ohhhhhh glowing eyes! AHHH!!

His abilities: Lets see: get the laundry, go food shopping, Kill the Cetra Bitch and- oh wait this is a list to do things from his coat pocket! Here let's see he can do powerful sword abilities so let's just say he does his abilities from Kingdom Hearts! Hehehe

Sephiroth: Why dear lord? Why? Why me?

Ashley: Oh shut up! Next up is Hojo! BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hojo: Okay he is beyond all weirdness!

Hojo: okay what the heck is his last name?

Age: umm…uhhhhhhhh…I don't know? 372,824,563? Jesus People I'm just guessing!

Clothes: Okay he wears a white lab coat and other stuff. I think?

Eyes: Umm who can tell when you're wearing glasses.

His abilities: Okay it is like an Alecimist you know from Final Fantasy Ten part two? Well that's what he can do okay? Don't complain to me! Complain to the manager! Oh wait! That's me! Hehehehehe!

Hojo? WHAT? That's it about me? Not fair!

Ashley: ~Dear Diary today is wonderful! I am insane and I want to help my son to control the world! ~ Now that's a sappy life story so far! Hehehehehe

Hojo: My diary! AHHHH!!!!!!!

Sephiroth: Ashley told me you hated me! Is that true?

Hojo: Yup! ^_^

Sephiroth: Oh man….

Ashley: Well that's it for Final Fantasy seven!

Final Fantasy seven Peoples: YAH!!!!

Ashley: That's odd. We only have 16 pages den so far!

Every one else: WHAT??

Ashley: and besides I'm not done giving info! I started this like Mon. Feb. 9th. 2004! Man that's taking forever to type! I'm listening to Real Emotion song as I type today on Feb.13.2004 I won't get much done as I'm going to a dance tonight! Wait I'm talking of topic! What information do I have to give next Sephiroth?

Sephiroth: I think you have to give info on Final Fantasy eight characters! So hope you like typing, as there are so many characters in that game! Muhahahahaha!!!

Ashley: Oh god Damn it! Not fair! I can't type that many people on this first chapter!

Squall: Well this was your idea in the first place! Hope you get craps! HA!

Riona: Oh I don't think that was nice to say Squall…..Don't make me call you what they did in Kingdom Hearts!

Squall: Wait I don't remember that! What did they call me!

~*~Flashback to Traverse Town~*~

Yuffie: Hey Squall what do we do with the keyblade master?

Squall: It's Leon. And I don't know. Take him to its leader?

Yuffie: SQUALL! ~slaps Squall~ that's not nice!

Squall: For good sakes Yuffie it's LEON! GET IT RIGHT! OR DO I HAVE TO GIVE YOU SOME MORE OF YOUR PILLS?

~*~end of weird flashback~*~

Squall: Oh man now I wish I wasn't born…..

Yuffie: LEON? What kind of name is that? I mean even Cloud's name sounded better! BUT LEON? My god!!!

Squall: ~ Goes to Laguna~ Hey can you shoot my head off? I can't bear to live anymore!

Laguna: If Raine YOUR mother was here which I MARRIED making ME your FATHER I don't think that is a good- ~Laguna's leg crapped up and falls over. Again~ Oh my leg! Not again! Why did I go out with that hooker who like killed my leg and myself!

Raine's ghost: You did what? And after you gave me a ring meaning our marriage you went out with a hooker? You'll be commended to HELL!

Laguna: Hope Satan isn't gay like in South Park and makes out with Sadan Husan! That would be wrong!!

Ashley: Can we please get back to my epidemic on how I am going to put so much info on this one chapter?

Tom: why not put in separate chapters and then label one for the reviewers to finally pick?

Ashley: Tom is that you?

Kuja: What!? He isn't even a Final Fantasy character!

Ashley: Well he is a made up character in my Legend of Rosiana story okay? And besides my Legend of Rosiana story was supposed to be a Final Fantasy idea for Final Fantasy XIII!

Red XIII: Now that's what I call hard work! How long did you work on the idea?

Ashley: well lets see when I first bought Final Fantasy VII my very first Final Fantasy I just made up a new one! It all started in 2001! So basically 3 years but I decided to write it as a story! Hehehe

Tom: Yah that's right!

Kuja: But I read some of her story and it said that I was her original boyfriend with out you knowing it!

Tom: Ashley is that true?

Ashley: well I was bored and had to write something!!

Ashley: She wrote that Sephiroth was her brother and called me a MONKEY TAILED GAY WAD!!! Ahhh!!!!!

Sephiroth: WHAT? Die freak!!

Sephiroth begins to attack Kuja and he attacks back and man I'm hungry! I want a gram cracker! Hey look a penny!

Tom: Well Ashley look what you did this time!

Ashley: Oh shut up you buffoon!

Tom: Bitch!

Ashley: Idiot!

Tom: 2-gil hore!

Ashley: Brittany Spears lover!

Tom: Kuja girly fan!

Ashley: dumb wad!

Tom: Thunder thighs!

Ashley: Dumbira!

Cloud: do they always fight like this?

Diamond: ( another character from my story!) Yes they always do. Why did my mother Queen Sade higher these two? She knew they always argued! AHH!

Ashley: Well at least I'm not a guy who trips over logs just to try and hide in a bush!

Tom: at least I'm not like you! A little bitch!

Ashley: Shut up!! ~attacks Tom with her Seventh Heaven sword from Dark Cloud and uses shock on him!)

Tom: Ouch! ~attacks with his sword dragon slayer and uses Climhazzard on Ashley)

Ashley: You little asswhole how dare you?

Squall: Hey we did it! We did 20 pages! Now were done with the first chapter! Wait what if a boy reviews? Do we give him a girlfriend?

Ashley: Well Duh! Besides the next chapter is going to be Information on Final Fantasy VIII characters!

Kuja: So please Read and Review well just the first chapter! And if you know who you want just review it and tell us information on your self-cause Ashley is going to be working on this for a very long time right Ashley?

Ashley: ~Asleep on her bed in her room~ Yah okay Kuja time for sleep every one! We have to get up early as I have skating (ice) tomorrow on Saturday 14. Feb.2004 okay? Night. ~falls asleep~

Every one else: Okay! Good night every one! ~falls asleep and then Cid begins to snore and drives every one insane.

Tom: Remember to read and review! Oh I will give my info but I'm Ashley's Guardian so don't tell any one okay?

Tom Danu: Now that's what I call and idiot!

Tom Danu

Age: well he is 17!

Clothing: okay a red cape with the two dragonheads cone the side representing the Guardian of Darigan. Brown gloves as he is a knight and I can't describe the rest I should draw it some time!

Eyes: okay they are a deep blue that will make you fall in love as they trick to fall in love with an Idiot!

His abilities: Okay sword skills like Steiner and Beatrix. Also what is called Knight's skill. Oh and he can summon the earth guardian Aupe from my story!

Tom: well that's me! Don't make Ashley wake up or she'll kill me for sure! Nah Just kidding! Well I'm going to sleep! Wait its only Feb.13.2004 right now and it's 9:10 in the morning here in Connecticut! My god all of these people are lazy! Oh well Please Read and Review okay cause this means a lot to Ashley! She wants people to like her and her stories okay? Read and Review okay? Thank you for your time on reading this long chapter.

Ashley: Tom is that you?

Tom: shit!

Ashley: I am going to put all characters on it and- ~falls asleep before she could finish her sentence~