Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ The (shinra) office ❯ day 24: gah! my brain! ( Chapter 24 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

I don't know why I still write here. You don't read it. …Stop not reading it dammit!
 
I do not own final fantasy or any other product placement involved in this cheap fanfic.
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Day twenty-four: gah! My brain!
 
Angel chewed on a multigrain cracker. Normally, for a teen girl obsessed with their image… that would be a week's meal. That they would soon see again… (All right, that's my only teen balemaic joke for now. Go on, keep reading.)
 
“Hey Dani-chan.” Angel laughed while she threw crackers at her otherwise spot-less friend. Danielle swiped away the crackers that of course, didn't stop angel; from throwing more… they started taking the shape of goldfish.
 
“Wha—stop throwing the goddamn crackers already! …What?” angel grinned, taking a sip of cola. (Honestly, it really does taste good with a mouthful of un-chewed crackers… :3) angel took to her feet and got up and close to ask her question.
 
“How do you think ken pleasures Barbie? And what about Richard?” angel was just as serious as she could be… while asking about Barbie dolls. It was hard to imagine anyone serious when asking about such a thing. “I mean… with their anatomy—oh… that's why she always baby-sits… she's sterile, and he's- well, he's a eunuch, obviously.” She nodded, in complete and utter agreement with her explanation…
 
“Ha…ha-ha…ha…yes…Obviously.& #8221; Danielle quickly reached for the phone. It seemed about time for the men in white to give her the morphine. Again.
 
“Are you two ready?” tseng sighed out, pulling on his much too expensive to be so damn cheap coat. Faux fur, because even though they did the dirty work, didn't mean they were completely heartless; they still cared about the animals…
(Turks-two planet-negative three hundred.)
 
“Which place are we going? They all seem the same to me.” The whole Turks section had been invited to a Japanese restaurant. Why? Because rufus liked that part best. His accountants were snobs, and the actually people cruelly, and carelessly mining out the lifestre—coals...were big and scary.
 
No…These disgruntled employees only had access to guns and the ability to kill a man with a Spork. A. bloody. spork… muahahahaha.
 
“no idea. But it's nice by the price they charged me.” Tseng and angel exchanged a glace (very rare) than looked back to Danielle, she of course caught this, as the observant woman she was, and began to fret. “they. Weren't supposed to…charge me personally… were they.” Danielle grit her teeth as they slowly nodded.
 
“well, your life sucks, let's go.” Angel laughed, this of course failed to make Danielle feel any better about her much-too-trusting-personality.
 
“alright. I Gatta drop off my secret Santa gift anyway. Come on tseng. I need something potent and brain killing.”
 
“I'll get the house of wax DVD.”
 
“I meant in the form of liquid.” Dante squeezed by the two and into angel's office, grinning like… himself. You know. An idiot?
 
“your friends are charming.”
 
“you should see my family. We're a whole bundle of joy.” She laughed, recalling the fistfight she had gotten into with her adoptive family's daughter… she never did
 
“nah. Your dad almost neutered me.” Dante instinctively cupped himself.
 
“You're the one who said the world would be better off with mandatory sterilization.” Angel balanced a pencil carefully on her nose.
 
“…Yes, well I say a lot of things.”
 
“You also said that as well.” Angel had those evil, `I-could-bring-you-to-your-knees-with-a-single-look' look. Sadly, this was the exact look a woman gives…a…whipped man… oh Sugar-Honey-Iced-Tea!
 
“What I mean is, I want to keep my… bait and tackle, you know?” angel tried to hide her smirk behind her hand, but failed miserably. “Whatever. I see you back at the shop.” He kissed her softly before dodging her cat.
 
“Don't let the door hit'cha where the good lord split'cha!” there was a very audible groan from the opposite side of the door. Angel laughed, stroking Lucifer with love. “You think it's wrong to torment him?” Lucifer looked at her with the most serious face he could muster.
 
“Me-ow…”
 
“Yeah, good point.”
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Vincent carefully wrapped his secret Santa gift; he had to actually find an online guide to wrap gifts—that's how terrible he was at wrapping things. Sad huh?
 
“Now I just… and…then… done!” he lifted up the horrid tape job, which was half attached to his left hand. He stared with a stupefied expression. He did the tape job with his left hand… how the hell—
“Wow dawg—you're useless.” Vincent hid the appendage below his desk. Exhaling dramatically. He was really starting to despise this place… he made a note to severely piss off shinra in the far future.
 
“Don't call me dog.” he was perfectly aware he was calling him “dawg” but it really didn't excuse the fact that he was calling him a retarded canine.
 
“Chill, man chill. The R-man has his skills. Wrapping gift is just one of them.” The two had an intense stare-down; Vincent glanced from Reno's kill to his gun. It would be a quick death—he wouldn't even feel it… too much.
 
“Uh-huh. What are your other skills? Besides being a walking disaster?”
 
“Oooooh vinnie's got some spunk! I like that!” a shudder went down Vincent's spine. And he felt, somewhere, some one was involving him in something… wrong. (Cough, vincentxreno cough) “But no- I am an expert gift wrapper.”
 
“I don't thi—“finito!” Reno held up a beautiful, perfectly taped rectangle.
 
“Wow… Reno I'm amazed.”
 
“Ah fugettaboutit. It's just—“…you must really have no life at all, to be this good at gift wrapping…” Vincent laughed, while Reno started out the door with his gift.
 
“Well, maybe I'll just deliver this personally!” he said running out the door. Vincent jumped over the desk and started after him, almost running straight into Dante—he smirked, he could have sworn his hair was a different color than before…
But he ignored it and ran after his most recent embarrassment.
 
Dante laughed, running a hand through his shiny locks, so he broke Angi's no-natural-color rule, but he never liked dyes, messed up his good looks. He did feel bad for the kid, though. He had no idea what he was getting himself into.
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Elena watched tseng.
 
That's it. She giggled like a schoolgirl every time tseng looked to see what was behind him, breathing heavily and wearing too much perfume…
 
“Elena… might I ask what you're doing?”
 
“Nothing… do you have anything you'd like to give me?” Elena inched closer, hoping something would remind him of the exact date.
 
“No.” short and blunt, just his style.
 
Elena yawned purposely, throwing a calendar in his face while she stretched. Tseng, taking the hint, sighed, then blurted the truth.
 
“I am not your secret Santa.” Short. And. Blunt.
 
“Well then who I—“yo, `Lena.” Angel walked down the stairs and threw something to tseng. He laughed, nodded and angel was back up the stairs.
 
Elena stood, mouth agape, as if in slow motion, angel turned slightly and laughed. Just the slightest snicker… and that set her off like a rocket on the forth of July.
 
“YOU MOTHER F—!”
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Reno ran, surprisingly, fast. Even with his bumbling awkwardness, he jumped like a proud buck. But, you could probably jump hurdles when a well-trained Turk is chasing after you.
 
“I swear to all that is holy—I will not hesitate to kill you!”
 
…. I said, “Well trained” not “civil and levelheaded”
 
“Calm down dawg—“That's it! You're dead!” Vincent crouched slightly, increasing his aerodynamics and his speed. (Isn't physics exciting kids?) All while aiming with a dead fast grip.
 
“No! You have to confront this! It's the snake in your bed!”
 
“I don't want a goddamn snake in my goddamn bed!” Vincent ran faster, gaining on Reno, all the while dodging interns and other employees.
 
“Yes you do! You just don't realize it yet!”
 
“Why in the seven level's of hell would I ever want a snake in my bed?!”
 
“Because yo-GACK!” Reno flipped and landed on his back, clutching his throat, he didn't even realize that the present had been taken. The savior started to unwrap it.
 
“Hey you can—“Reno, by rank I here by order you to get the hell out of my sight, lest I go medieval on your arse.” The savior looked at him with those horrendous evil eyes, and he ran away just as fast as he came. “Pft. Moron. I don't even know what I do…”
 
“I…you…thanks.” Was all Vincent could pant out before he collapsed onto the floor.
 
Angel laughed; she always knew the clothesline move would come in handy…
 
“This is really nice Vincent. Have you ever considered selling your art? You'd make more money…” he did, but that would mean he would have to quit, and then he'd never see angel without a good excuse.
 
“No, I just do it for special occasions.” He was thankful that the blood rushing to his face could be mistaken as ventilation.
 
“Ha, ha. Good. I don't think I would wanna share this with anyone else…” okay, so much for that. His whole body heated up like the human torch, threatening to burn him from the inside out. Angel bent down and kissed him straight on the lips.
 
Okay. He could die a happy man now…
 
“I'll see you later, alright? We'll go for a drink after work.” Vincent just moved his head in a random direction, she laughed, so it must have been the right way.
 
Or it could have been his little “tent” below the belt.
 
“SHIT!” angel could be heard laughing throughout the building.
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(Extra, Elena vs. angel)
 
“I hate you. So much. Right now.” Elena gritted her teeth, clenching and unclenching her hands into tight fists.
 
Angel yawned.
 
She thought of the ways to kill her, push her into the wall, and beat her brutally with the fire hydrant—
 
Angel's nose crinkled…
 
And stab her rapidity with a an old rusty fork while she—
 
“ATCHOO!” Then she sneezed. “Can we just do this? I have to go take care of business…”
 
“Fine. Fist to fist. Man to man…” Elena groaned. “Man to woman, really.”
 
“SHUT UP AND FIGHT!”
 
“Hah! That's what my dad always said!” she laughed, dodging and right hook, and blocked a kick. Elena aimed under her chest, to knock the wind out of her, but the woman was quick and strong- she didn't even seem to be thinking about it.
 
“What the hell…?!”
 
“Instinct. Comes with the territory.” She blocked every punch and kick, sending them back with twice the force and twice the speed. Angel punched her in the stomach, but while she doubled over, brought her elbow down on her spine—Elena yelped in surprise, when did her fist leave her stomach? “Come on, I know that couldn't be fatal.” The bitch danced on her heels, was the radio always on?
 
“You're moving… to the rhythm. Bitch…”
 
“Makes it fun. Come on, put up your dukes, I say!” punch, dodge, kick, dodge, punch, dodge, kick dodge.
 
“Stop fucking moving!” Elena finally growled out, wanting it to end.
 
“Fine—hyah!” there was a kick to her head, but Elena couldn't keep her eyes from snapping shut to see what had happened.
 
 
…What had happened, anyway?”
 
“Please, I'm not that mean. I don't do roundhouse kicks to co-workers.” Her foot was lowered. Angel had a cut or two—and her clothes were slightly singed, especially around her sleeves.
 
“That was fun. We'll have to do it again sometime.”
 
“Just try and put up a challenge and we can go as many times as you please.” Angel smiled; fire escaped her lips as the doors closed.
 
Elena shook her head. “I need coffee.”
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Tee hee… that was day twenty-four. Lovely, eh? Hee hee. We get to see some of Angi's real power. But still, I do not reveal anything. Pay attention to the words. They reveal more than you think… --shade-san fenfir.