Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Without Self Control ❯ Without Self Control ( Chapter 1 )
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By: colichemarde 
Kuja has a run-in with the Gysahl Pickle.
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 10.30.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 468 | Visits: 490 | Status: Completed
Kuja has a run-in with the Gysahl Pickle.
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 10.30.2006 | Pages: 1 | Words: 468 | Visits: 490 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer:
Copyright Squaresoft
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Well, you see, first he'll try <i>it</i> out of random. Maybe he'll be walking with Zorn and Thorn and they will turn and say "Try them, they're delicious!" and "Try them, you must!". He will turn to a sort of odd, foul odor to see...
<i>Gysahl Pickles.</i>
And he will buy one, because Zorn and Thorn won't shut the hell up. And when he tastes it, he will get sort of disgusted by it, but he realises it is not at all bad, and ends up forgetting some manners when gobbling it down.
"Composure, composure!" his mind will scream.
But they're sooooo good, he realises. So he buys a few to take back to Alexandria Castle, to rendez-vous with Queen Brahne, but he will have to place the meeting on a small recess to get to Lindblum and buy some more. He complains to the old pickle lady why she couldn't up and go sell her pickles in Alexandria. He buys her whole cart off, looking a little feral, or even rabid, and he now realises he's obsessed and madly craving this oddly potent pickle.
Eventually, it gets worse, and he starts being unable to fit into his... thong... thing. He's a little appalled that he's losing his perfectly feminine figure, but because he's so blinded with obsession, he doesn't realise it's the Gysahl Pickles.
He then robs the pickle lady wholly and tugs her cart to Terra to do work there. But he finishes them off, and, knowing he can't leave just yet, he has a nervous breakdown. Garland will shake his head with disappointment, calling Kuja pathetic, as he whines and curls into a fetal position, calling the pickles by individual names.
When he gets back to Lindblum to get more, he will be in rage to find that the pickle lady has gone. When he asks someone where she went, they will tell him she went to Alexandria to sell her pickles.
But alas, Kuja is finished with Alexandria, and no longer needs to see Queen Brahne's horrendous face. Here, he will break down, probably too fat to actually kneel in sadness.
So, instead, he seeks therapy.
Doctor Tot helps him get out of his obsession with Gysahl Pickles, and he becomes slimmer, looking and feeling much healthier, grateful for Doctor Tot. He will make a mental note to ensure Doctor Tot is safe from his destruction. Of course, he can never look at Gysahl Pickles. Or else that obsession might return.
He won't go to Lindblum anymore.
Copyright Squaresoft
-------------------------------------------------------------
Well, you see, first he'll try <i>it</i> out of random. Maybe he'll be walking with Zorn and Thorn and they will turn and say "Try them, they're delicious!" and "Try them, you must!". He will turn to a sort of odd, foul odor to see...
<i>Gysahl Pickles.</i>
And he will buy one, because Zorn and Thorn won't shut the hell up. And when he tastes it, he will get sort of disgusted by it, but he realises it is not at all bad, and ends up forgetting some manners when gobbling it down.
"Composure, composure!" his mind will scream.
But they're sooooo good, he realises. So he buys a few to take back to Alexandria Castle, to rendez-vous with Queen Brahne, but he will have to place the meeting on a small recess to get to Lindblum and buy some more. He complains to the old pickle lady why she couldn't up and go sell her pickles in Alexandria. He buys her whole cart off, looking a little feral, or even rabid, and he now realises he's obsessed and madly craving this oddly potent pickle.
Eventually, it gets worse, and he starts being unable to fit into his... thong... thing. He's a little appalled that he's losing his perfectly feminine figure, but because he's so blinded with obsession, he doesn't realise it's the Gysahl Pickles.
He then robs the pickle lady wholly and tugs her cart to Terra to do work there. But he finishes them off, and, knowing he can't leave just yet, he has a nervous breakdown. Garland will shake his head with disappointment, calling Kuja pathetic, as he whines and curls into a fetal position, calling the pickles by individual names.
When he gets back to Lindblum to get more, he will be in rage to find that the pickle lady has gone. When he asks someone where she went, they will tell him she went to Alexandria to sell her pickles.
But alas, Kuja is finished with Alexandria, and no longer needs to see Queen Brahne's horrendous face. Here, he will break down, probably too fat to actually kneel in sadness.
So, instead, he seeks therapy.
Doctor Tot helps him get out of his obsession with Gysahl Pickles, and he becomes slimmer, looking and feeling much healthier, grateful for Doctor Tot. He will make a mental note to ensure Doctor Tot is safe from his destruction. Of course, he can never look at Gysahl Pickles. Or else that obsession might return.
He won't go to Lindblum anymore.