Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ AN INTERVIEW WITH EDWARD ELRIC ❯ AN INTERVIEW WITH EDWARD ELRIC ( Chapter 1 )

AN INTERVIEW WITH EDWARD ELRIC

 

Me: Good morning, or evening….or if your reading this in the afternoon, good afternoon. Aw! You get the idea! Anyways, we are here today to interview the famous Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric!!!

 

( TEN-TENE-NEN-TENEN!! )

 

………………………&# 8230;……………….

 

Me: …………….Edward Elric? Helooooooo? Okay, where the heck is he?!!

 

Al: Um….. I think he's at home…..

 

Me: WHAT?!! WHAT THE HELL IS HE STILL DOING THERE?!! DIDN'T YOU TELL HIM TO COME HERE, YA STUPID LUNK OF ARMOR?!! HUH?!! HUH?!! TELL ME OR I'LL PICK OUT YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS ONE BY ONE!!!

 

( Throws Al on the audience like what I would do to a certain someone when I am holding a six ton piano )

 

Al: I'm sorry!! I'm sorry!! I tried to wake him up, but he wouldn't budge!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! PLEASE DON'T PICK OUT MY INTERNAL ORGANS!!

 

Me: Geez, dude, chill…… I was only kidding…….

 

Winry: You didn't sound like it…

 

Me: BACK OFF YA $=)+*%^&^%%!!

 

Roy: It's not like he has any internal organs anyway….

 

Me: SHUT UP YA %%$#@@##%$%&*!!!!!

 

( Roy snaps his fingers and starts frying me like crazy……………..never should have said that……… )

 

Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHH!!! OOOOH! Smells like barbeque!

 

( Ed suddenly walked into the room )

 

Me: `sup, shorty! Yer late!

 

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHORTY THAT'S SMALLER THAN YOUR CHANCES OF RECOVERING AFTER I'M THROUGH WITH YOU?!!!!!

 

( Ed transmutes a giant ball that's…….. ARGH!! That ball's sizzling hot!!! I'm doomed……. )

 

Me: AAAAAAARHG!!!#^#&%$&$&^$&^$^$^$&^$&^$&^$$%$#@&a mp;*(++_!!

*gets deep fried squashed by the ball*

 

Al: Oww…. That's gotta hurt…

 

Winry: Smells like shrimp!

 

Roy: Smokin'.

 

Me: I bet yer all likin' dis huh?

 

Ed: Let's just get on with this stupid interview…

 

Me: You're too kind….>=( * You can see bones! Which is burned black by the way.* First thing's first…What's yer name?

 

Ed: Didn't you just introduce me awhile ago?

 

Me: What, you too stupid tuh even remember yer own name?

 

Ed: Tch! Edward Elric.

 

Me: Age?

 

Ed: Fifthteen…

 

Me: Final answer?

 

Ed: Yeah….

 

Me: Are you sure?

 

Ed: Why the hell are you asking me if I'm sure?!!! Of course I am dammit!!

 

Me: `cause ya sound like a kid *sniff* sniff*……and ya smell like it, too…

 

Ed: WHAT?!!

 

Me: Are ya deaf?!! Not only yer voice en stench, there's also yer hei….heh..her…

 

Ed: What….?

 

Me: Hormones!! Yeah, such gay hormones!! That truly makes you cool!!

 

Ed: I'm just gonna try and forget the insulting part…. Al might send me to the anger management program……

 

Al: Or you might go to jail for murdering a half dead idiot!!

 

Me: I'm gonna make sure I get ya squashed as miniature as yer brother when we're through here…. crap…..what did I just say?!!

 

Ed:: THE WRONG THING!!

 

Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!

 

THE INTERVIEW HAS BEEN CANCELED DUE TO THE DAMAGES TO THE SET AND THE HOST. LET US ALL PRAY FOR HIS SWIFT RECOVERY FROM BONE BURNS AND AND A PANCAKED BODY. Top that off with syrup and butter! =)

 

 

Okay, I really killed myself in this fanfic…..

I hope it doesn't happen to me in real life!! I hate getting burned!!