Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ The Blue Something ❯ The Blue Something ( One-Shot )

I think this is about the best thing I've ever written (first time uploading here, not writing in general)... alright, so not even close, but I still think it's kinda snazzy. ;D Please, do enjoy!

It is only expected that I should warn you of the following to appear in my silly fic here: mild (not too bad) language, slight (and rather iffy) shounen-ai, a terribly embarrassed and grumpy Edward, plant pots, and an over-usage of italics. Alright, then! Onward! ...See side notes and disclaimer at end of ficceh.

 

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The Blue Something

 

"Goddamn reports..." grumbled Ed; today was not his day. As he stalked his way through the dreadfully long corridor (as it was obviously against him, in a dimensional manner), he bumped into a something. A blue something. Cursing under his breath, he attempted a lift of the head, but seeing that the blue something was carrying a plant pot, he honestly couldn't tell who the something was. The plant itself was rather ugly, and Edward could only imagine what stood behind it.

 

He turned, quickly, and tried to run, but nearly froze once he heard a (if slightly muffled) voice.

 

"Izzat you, Fullmetal? ...Listen, I need a hand here, and the rest of the office is being a total pain in the ass and not helping... hey, you there? Hello?"

 

The alchemist shook himself from his slight fault and returned to his original plan of running like hell. The blue something groaned in protest, wishing someone would help him with the stupid thing.

 

After slowing to an ill-timed stop, Ed fell flat on his face in a pile of inconveniently placed garbage. Coughing and sputtering, he got up, and then dusted himself off out of habit. Though he wouldn't admit it to anyone, let alone himself, he was spooked pretty easily. For some reason, though, his flight response never took effect if Al tried to scare him, which was rare in itself.

 

In the end, after much debate over whether to try going back inside the haunted house (in other words, a building in Central), he decided he was really much better off just trying again tomorrow. After all, the blue something wouldn't be too mad, would he?

 

The next day, once the young alchemist had finished having paranoid (but strangely fitting) dreams about talking plant pots and the like, and had woken up feeling very fuzzy indeed, only to wind up brewing an entire batch of Himalayan tea while humming sweetly to himself, he left for his new mission: to approach the blue something and hand to it the report.

 

Upon arrival, Edward couldn't help but take note of the dozens of plants lying around. This only fueled the fire, however, and his legs' motions steadily became faster. He eventually made it to the room in the very back (frankly, he was more than starting to loathe these hallways), where the blue something lie. Just as he was about to storm into the damn place, he became aware of the slight draft coming from the cracked door. He quietly pushed it open ever so gradually, until at last he was staring at the most marvelous blue ass he'd ever seen. Wait, no. It was Roy. Colonel. The Elusive Bastard. Then again, he was in a pink apron.

 

What...? What was that? An apron?

 

...Pink?

 

Edward couldn't stop staring. Not only was Roy Mustang in a pink apron, he looked hot in it. Very hot, indeed.

 

The Colonel finally finished adjusting the plant he had been doubled over, and attempted a go at standing. Back cracking furiously in the process, he proceeded to turn around, and immediately a smirk formed on his irresistibly handsome face.

 

“Why, Fullmetal! How nice of you to notice my ass."

 

A few workers that were in the area heard and chuckled at their antics. Ed's face heated up and about turned blood red, despite the fact that all of his blood was currently traveling somewhere else, much, much lower. He grunted in response because he really couldn't think of anything coherent to say, much less squelch. He threw the report at the blue (and now, pink!) bastard as soon as he pulled it out of his handy briefcase, and activated his flight response, leaving behind a completely baffled Roy amongst a few scattered report papers.

 

Later that day, once Roy got around to checking the report that had been chucked at him, he was surprised to see the words "SCREW YOU!" written on all three sheets in large, red (and obviously alchemized) letters.

 

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With any luck, this may have been somewhat tolerable. Did it make any sense? I'd really like to know. Hope you enjoyed it, and maybe got a laugh or two from it. Oh, and you get an ice cookie if you review!! -blush- Constructive criticism is appreciated, but keep in mind that this wasn't meant to be taken seriously. Thank you for reading! (In case anyone was wondering, "squelch" just means to make noise.)

I obtained this idea from dannyfphantom over at deviantArt. Full Metal Alchemist and its characters were created by Hiromu Arakawa, not me.