Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Everybody Loves...Seiryuu Style! ❯ Everybody Loves 3 ( Chapter 3 )

Title: Everybody Loves Miboshi: What the %*@!?

Author: Alexa, the Original Trowa Fangirl, est. 1995

Disclaimer: Oi, minna! Sing the disclaimer song! "It's not mine, it's not mine..."

Author's Notes: It's been a long time since I had a chance to write one of these. Hence, my sense of humor has become even more whacked than it already was...-_-; Gomen. Warning: EXTREME OOCness. Extreme.

***

All anime exists in separate universes. Of course, as the multiverse is like a giant hotel, most universes are right alongside other universes. Usually, these make sense; Bondage Queen Kate is next to Nude Avengers, Wedding Peach is next to Sailor Moon, Z Gundam is right next to Gundam 0083. However, occasionally, there are errors in this. While Fushigi Yuugi is next to Escaflowne in the world-changing section, it for some reason is also right next to Gundam Wing. This causes for some interesting twists. Now, if you are a person of some form of intelligence, you're probably wondering what this has to do with Miboshi, who is happily floating around Kutou palace (Either that or you're wondering how much work those voice actors have to do! Sheesh! Milliardo is Hotohori, Tamahome is Heero, Sally is Yui, and Chichiri is Van...no wonder when he's Kouji he talks to himself! Must get so confused, poor man.). Well, let me tell you, as I begin our tale.

Heero, being the silly homocidal maniac that he is, attempted to kill himself. Again. And again, the self-destruct mechanism, while working, only managed to make him fall on his head, bounce a few times, roll down a cliff, explode, and break every bone in his body -- not nearly enough to kill him. However, the self-destruct mechanism, this time, also affected the time-space continuim. Makes sense, don't you think? After all, it only took seventeen seconds to flatten San Francisco. However, it affected Fushigi Yuugi the most. It's very complicated, involving sparks and wires and all sorts of electrical charges, but what happened in the end was that Miboshi became charged. *Specially* charged. And so, interesting things happen.

Miboshi was floating down one of the halls of Kutou palace, thinking of new ways to destroy the world. Nothing truly satisfying came to mind, so he/she/it/they was looking greatly displeased. In fact, he/she/it/they was looking downright disagreeable (Doesn't he/she/it/they always look that way, though? Aw, shaddup!). And as it would happen, Miboshi ran into Nakago.

'Aw dammit. What've I done now? I can't see his eyes. Must be something bad,' Miboshi thought, perhaps even sinking a bit from where he/she/it/they had been floating before. And indeed, Nakago's eyes could not be seen. Though Miboshi didn't know this, it was actually because he was thinking of several Han poems about divine beauties that came from the stars. Though none of these beauties sounded anything like Miboshi in any way, he made the connection just the same.

"Miboshi," Nakago said, dropping to his knees. "I cower at your greatness." Miboshi blinked.

"Nakago-sama?" He/she/it/they asked in a curious voice. "What's...going...on?" He/she/it/they backed away a few feet, hoping to make it somewhere safe.

Yui was wandering aimlessly around Kutou palace as she often seems to (that or large cities, often without any sort of escort, and considering she is incapable of taking care of herself, asking to be attacked.), Suboshi trailing along behind her like a lost puppy. She sighed.

"Suboshi. Go...do something," she ordered.

"Ne, but Yui-sama, I *am* doing something. I'm following you," Suboshi gazed up at her with big sad, loving eyes. Yui sighed again and rubbed her forehead.

"Precisely my point, Suboshi. Please. Do something...else." Suboshi pouted and she relented. "Fine. But you're just going to have to watch me study. There's no fun in that, is there?" She continued, wandering down the halls. "Oh, Nakag..." Yui trailed off, seeing her love. "Miboshi!" She cried, running forward, unceremoniously shoving the shogun out of the way to kiss his/her's/their feet in glee. "My love, at last we can be together!"

Suboshi blinked. "Yui-sa..." he too, trailed off, and also ran forward, shoving his miko aside, flinging her into the wall and permenantly crippling her (from there on out, she was only able to drag herself forward on her hands). "Miboshi-sama. I think we should run away together," he said quietly. Then, in a conspiratorial tone; "Or we could just get a room." He winked.

Miboshi's mind was reeling. It only got worse when Soi rounded the corner, flinging a frying pan at Tomo's head. They both stopped, turned, and their eyes bugged out in little hearts. "Miboshi-sama!" They cheered in tandem, stomping on Nakago's head and dropping to their knees. As Yui forced herself up, Soi slapped the blonde, then shocked her several times, making Yui pass out from the weakness she already felt added to her new exhaustion.

While Soi was disposing of Yui, Tomo and Nakago had entered a battle. Nakago found himself looking at ten different Tomo's, all smiling the same slick smile, speaking to him in that same slick voice.

"Tomo," he grunted. "I'm warning you. Back out of my way, you overpainted freak, Miboshi is MINE!" With that, he ran headfirst into one of the illusions, looking like some sort of manic, and very angry, blonde mother ostrich, or perhaps a grizzly. From behind him, the real Tomo cackled. Nakago whirled, glaring, as the illusion disappeared. He ran forward again, picking Tomo up by the neck and slamming him into the wall. Their bodies were pressed up against each other in a way that would make Tomo faint from pleasure in normal circumstances, but now he just felt irritated.

"Let go of me, you abusive, savage, animal-hating UNNATURAL BLONDE! Kakakakakakakaka!" Tomo laughed evilly as Soi and Yui turned to look in his direction. Nakago looked devastated, Tomo looked...well, painted. Soi was in shock, and Yui was blood-covered and unconcious.

"You swore you'd never tell!" Nakago cried angrily, kneeing Tomo hard.

"Nakago-sama!" Soi cried. "How dare you ask him to dye your hair, and not me!" See, Soi is smarter than everyone else gives her credit for, and she knew that if Tomo knew Nakago dyed his hair, then Tomo had to have helped him with it. And that meant that Nakago had taken his armor off for someone other than her...oh, it was too terrible even to think of. She dropped Yui, who crumpled up against the wall like so much discarded trash, and ran over to beat Tomo.

While secrets of genetic code concerning hair color were being revealed, Suboshi ran out the gates of Kutou palace, Miboshi tucked under his arm like a football, bawling his/her/it's/their eyes out because he/she/it/they'd dropped the prayer wheel.

"But I...I WANT IT BACK!!" Miboshi cried.

"Not now!" Suboshi snapped, gazing at his love. Miboshi swore there were little hearts bugging out of the teenager's eyes, and found this rather disturbing.

"Please! Put me down!" Miboshi cried.

"No! Never, my love!" Suboshi huffed. "We must run away together and become vegetarians and live in a commute!" Suddenly, he skidded to a stop. "What's a commute?" He asked, looking up at the sky. Dropping Miboshi unceremoniously on the ground, he pulled a script from his back pocket. After several minutes of flipping through pages, he found the line. "Oh! That's it! We'll live in a commuNe, not a commuTe! Ok!" Suboshit said, repocketing the script. He looked around the clearing. "Miboshi-sama? Miboshi-sama, my love?" But Miboshi was gone.

Miboshi was floating back towards the palace, though he/she/it/they wasn't sure if that was the most logical course of action. As he was floating along at top speed, trying to think of a way to bring his monsters into the world without the prayer wheel. However, it wasn't needed, as Ashitare popped out of nowhere, blocking his path.

"Miboshi," Ashitare grunted. "Hi."

"Hi," he/she/it/they said.

"Wanna run away and join the circus together? They'll pay us better to be freaks than Nakago does to be seishi."

Miboshi thought for a moment. "Ok." And so they did. And their act was the most successful one in the whole circus. And so, our story comes to a close.