Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ I Want It That Way: Starring the Suzaku Boys ❯ I Want It That Way: Starring The Suzaku Boys ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: Sorceress Elcyion Bonedancer 
Five of the seishi are filming a music video...what chaos will ensue here?
Anime/Manga: Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 10.15.2001 | Updated On: 10.20.2001 | Pages: 7 | Words: 3.0K | Visits: 722 | Status: Completed
Five of the seishi are filming a music video...what chaos will ensue here?
Anime/Manga: Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 10.15.2001 | Updated On: 10.20.2001 | Pages: 7 | Words: 3.0K | Visits: 722 | Status: Completed
Konnichiwa!!! I don't think I have anything to say!!!
All disclaimers apply!!! Read the fic!!! Exclamation points are fun!!! ^-^
Oh, BTW: [Actions], "Singing IWITW", AN = Author's Note
***********************************************
I Want It That Way: Starring the Suzaku Boys
by Sorceress Elcyion
***********************************************
[Cue music]
TAMAHOME: "Yeah-ah-ah..."
[Cut to five seishi <Tamahome, Tasuki, Hotohori, Chiriko, and Mitsukake> outside
standing around in front of an airplane that says SUZAKU BOYS on it. Hotohori and
Tasuki are pretty much hogging the camera. The others are, well, not.]
TAMAHOME: [Shoves his way in front of both Hotohori and Tasuki] "You are...my
fire. The one...desi-ire. Believe...when I say...that I want it that way."
CHIRIKO: "But we...are two worlds apart. Can't reach too-oo...your hea-ea-eart..."
TASUKI: [Whispers] Where the hell is that kid?
MITSUKAKE: [Points behind Tasuki]
TASUKI: Whoops. [Sidesteps so that we can see Chiriko]
CHIRIKO: [Can now be seen clearly] "...when you say...that I want it that way.
Tell me why-ee!" [Purposely steps on Tasuki's foot for blocking him]
TASUKI: ITAI! Ya damn kid! What the hell's that for?! I moved outta the way!!
DIRECTOR: CUT! Tasuki, don't talk in the middle of shooting!!! you have to lip
sync to the playback tape!
TASUKI: IT'S NOT MY FUCKIN' FAULT!!!
CHIRIKO: [Sticks his tongue out at Tasuki]
DIRECTOR: [gets out a mallet from behind her chair and hits Tasuki over the head
with it. He falls down, swirls in his eyes.]
HOTOHORI: [Looks at Tasuki, sweatdropping] Will he be getting up any soon? I
want to get to my solo.
DIRECTOR: Don't worry, he will.
[Suddenly, a blur runs up to the director. We realize that it's Hurricane
Nuriko. Hotohori moves away and hides behind a fat cameraman, who's eating
doughnuts. Hotohori looks at him in disgust and decides to hide behind the green
screen.]
DIRECTOR: [Talks before Nuriko could say anything] Nuriko, you're gonna have to
wait a while...
NURIKO: Well, HURRY!! Hotohori-sama's expecting me...[Gets starry-eyed]
DIRECTOR: I hate my job...[Turns to the Suzaku Boys] Okay! Right where we left
off! Tasuki! Get your ass off the ground!
TASUKI: [Groggily gets up]
HOTOHORI: [Checks if the coast is clear. It is. Comes out from behind the green
screen and stands with the other ones, who are all impatient and not in the
happiest of moods. Hotohori gets out a mirror and starts primping.]
DIRECTOR: Roll playback! Hotohori, put that away please.
CHIRIKO: "Tell me why-ee!"
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a heartache..."
DIRECTOR: Mirror away!
CHIRIKO: "Tell me why-ee!"
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a mistake, tell me why-ee."
DIRECTOR: I mean it! NOW!!!!
CHIRIKO: "I never wanna hear you sa-a-ay..."
DIRECTOR: HOTOHORI! PUT THAT DAMN MIRROR AWAY!!
ALL: [Visibly scared of the director's tone, but they pretend everything's
peachy] "I want it that way..."
TASUKI: [Pushes in front of everyone else, his face all up in the camera.] "Am
I...your fi--"
DIRECTOR: CUT!!!
TASUKI: [Upset] But that was my SOLO, dammit!!
DIRECTOR: [Ignores him] HOTOHORI!!!!!! HOW MANY TIMES DID I SAY TO PUT. THAT.
THING. AWAY?!?!?
TAMAHOME: [Whispers to Hotohori] You should've listened to her...
DIRECTOR: [Rubs temples] YOU PEOPLE DRIVE ME CRAZY!!!!!!!
TAMAHOME: You drive me crazy...I just can't sleep...I'm so exci--
DIRECTOR: [Gets out mallet threateningly] I don't need that from you, Tamahome!!
TAMAHOME: [Looks very nervous] Gomen...hehehe...just trying to lighten up the
mood...
DIRECTOR: [Sighs] Okay...happy thoughts, happy thoughts. [Takes deep breaths.
In. Out. In. Out.] All right, back to where we left off! Tasuki's solo!
TASUKI: YEAAAHHH HAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! WOO!!!!
BOYS + CREW: [Look at him strangely]
TASUKI: Oh, damn, wrong song...
DIRECTOR: Places, everyone! [Everyone did as they were told] Roll playback!
TASUKI: [His entire face is in the camera] "Am I...your fire? Your one...
desi-ire? Yes I kno-o-o-ow, it's too-oo-oo la-ate..."
DIRECTOR: Back away from the camera, Tasuki!
TASUKI: [Glares at the director, who glares back. Tasuki reluctantly moves back
a foot, revealing maybe an arm or a leg of some of the others] "...but I want it
tha-at way. Tell me why-ee!"
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a heartache..."
TASUKI: "Tell me why!"
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a mis--"
[Nuriko suddenly runs up to the scene. Chichiri lags far behind, sweatdropping.]
NURIKO: OH MY GOD! SUZAKU BOYS! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!! I LOVE YOU
HOTOHORI-SAMA!! SUZAKU BOYS!! [Starts hanging all over Hotohori. Everyone else
backs away slowly. Hotohori is getting suffocated by Nuriko's grip.]
HOTOHORI: Help me...
DIRECTOR: CUUUUUTTTT!!! NURIKO! NOT YET! You are WAY too early!!!
CHICHIRI: I had a feeling that we were, no da. But nooooo, he didn't listen, no
da...
DIRECTOR: Don't you have better things to do?! Geez! [To the crew] Right where
we left off! Action!
[Nuriko and Chichiri sneak away with the director's car keys to her BMW
convertible. She doesn't notice at all.]
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a mistake, tell me why-ee."
TAMAHOME: "I never wanna hear you sa-a-ay..."
ALL: "I want it that way..."
MITSUKAKE: [Camera gets a long shot of his body. He just stands there.] "Now I
can see that we're falling apart...from the way that it used to be..."
DIRECTOR: Cut! Mitsukake, why don't you move around? Look more emotional...Roll
playback! Action!
MITSUKAKE: [Looks the same. Only this time he shifts his foot a little.] "Now I
can see that we're falling apart...from the--"
DIRECTOR: That's not it! Cut!
MITSUKAKE: I moved.
DIRECTOR: [Sweatdrops] Is that all you can do?
MITSUKAKE: I can move my hands if you want me to.
BOYS + CREW: [Facefaults]
DIRECTOR: Better than nothing...start at Mitsukake's solo!
MITSUKAKE: [Does the same thing, only this time his fingers made the slightest
movement.] "Now I can see that we're falling apar--"
DIRECTOR: Stop! Mitsukake... [Trying her best to be patient. She starts speaking
to him as if he were deaf] Do you un-der-stand what I mean by e-mo-tio-nal?
MITSUKAKE: I'm trying my best...
HOTOHORI: Can we hurry it up? My hair is getting limp!
[Immediately, hair and make-up people run up to Hotohori and start making him
more beautiful than ever. Smokes of powder surround everyone.]
TAMAHOME: [Cough] Director-san [cough], can we [cough] hurry up with [cough] the
video [cough]?
DIRECTOR: I KNOW!! But [cough] some [cough] people just won't [cough] listen to
[cough] me!!
HOTOHORI: [Looking more glamorous than usual] I believe I am ready for my close
up.
DIRECTOR: [Sighs] Good, good. Now let's go and start from Mitsukake's solo...Roll
playback!
MITSUKAKE: "Now I can see that we're falling apart...from the wa--"
DIRECTOR: HOLD IT!
TASUKI: Dammit, what the fuck is the deal now?
DIRECTOR: I've got a better idea...since Mitsukake here won't look emotional for
me...then I think the rest of you should...dance around him. To give the video
more...feeling.
CHIRIKO: *Dance* around him?
DIRECTOR: Exactly...just do it freestyle. Dance however you feel like dancing...
Now, action!
MITSUKAKE: "Now I can see that we're falling apart..."
CHIRIKO, TASUKI, TAMAHOME, HOTOHORI: [Just look each other, trying to figure out
how they should dance]
CHIRIKO: [Starts doing some weird doo-wop thing]
TAMAHOME: [Starts mosh-pitting]
HOTOHORI: [Is trying to dance, but it looks more like posing for the camera]
TASUKI: [Just crosses his arms, refusing to take part in it. He just wanted to
wait for his turn to sing.]
MITSUKAKE: "...from the way that it used to be..."
ALL: "Yea-ah..."
MITSUKAKE + TASUKI: "No matter the distance, I want you to know...that deep down
inside of meeeeeeee!"
HOTOHORI: [Now the camera hogger. He flips his shiny hair back. Some of it gets
into Tasuki's mouth. He starts walking away, spitting out hair.] "You are...my
fire..."
MITSUKAKE: [Grumbles something and walks away]
HOTOHORI: "...the one...desi-ire..." [Winks at the camera]
ALL: "You are, you are, you are, you are..." <AN: I couldn't figure out who sings
which... ^_^>
CHIRIKO: [Pounces on top of Tasuki, who gets slammed to the ground, face down]
"Don't wanna hear you sayyy-ay-ay-ay-ah-ahh...!" <AN: Listen to Nick's part...I
tried copying it exactly...>
DIRECTOR: Cut! That's a wrap for this scene!
TASUKI: Wasn't I awesome or what?
HOTOHORI: I believe *I* was the best one out there...although my solo wasn't long
enough...
TAMAHOME: But *I'm* the heartthrob of the group!
CHIRIKO: But everyone *loves* the baby of the band...!
MITSUKAKE: Fangirls like shy men... [No one hears poor Mitsukake]
TASUKI: You guys are all fuckin' wrong! It's the *rebel* they want!
HOTOHORI: The charmer is the most wanted...I should know...
DIRECTOR: SHUT UP!
SUZAKU BOYS: [Shut up. They look at the director.]
DIRECTOR: [In. Out. In. Out.] Okay. I think we have enough footage for this
scene. Let's do the one with the dancing...
[So the Suzaku Boys do take after take after take of dancing their butts off. The
director of course, is very disappointed. Finally, after the Suzaku Boys fall
down domino-style for what seemed to be the millionth time, the director gives up
on the choreography scene and proceeds onto other ones.]
DIRECTOR: Where's my latte?! Where is it?! I want it right now! Where's the latte
boy?! Latte boy!!!
LATTE BOY: [Quickly offers his last latte to the director, bowing. He is very,
very scared out of his mind.] H-here is y-your l-latte, direct-tor-s-sama...
DIRECTOR: [Grabs it] Thank you, latte boy. Here, have a cookie. [Tosses the boy
a cookie]
LATTE BOY: [The cookie drops to the ground. He grabs it off the ground like a
dog and greedily runs away with it, scarfing the treat down messily and noisily.]
DIRECTOR: What a promising young lad...
BOYS + CREW: [Sweatdrop]
DIRECTOR: Okay, back to business! Our final scene for today is the last scene
with all the fans standing around admiring you guys. It's in...that room. [Points
to an old-looking wooden door with various signs like 'KEEP OUT' and 'BEWARE'
nailed to it]
BOYS: [Shudder. They may like having fans, but when it comes to them actually
going up face-to-face with them...it's scary.]
NURIKO: Weeeeeeee're back! [All smiles]
CHICHIRI: Yes, no da. Back, no da. [All smiles also]
DIRECTOR: [Suddenly feels suspicious, but shrugs it off] Chichiri! Nuriko! You
guys are here just in time. We're about to shoot the last scene...
NURIKO: REALLY?! Let's go get to our places, Chichiri! [Runs off into the
mysterious room, but not before literally tossing chibi-Chichiri through the open
door]
DIRECTOR: [Looks at the Suzaku Boys solemnly] Are you ready...to face...the
fans?
BOYS: [Nod, expressions just as serious]
DIRECTOR: The other half of the crew is already waiting there...let's go. [The
Suzaku Boys and the director make their way into the room.]
[Inside the room is a mass of teenage fangirls, plus some familiar faces from a
certain anime show. What keeps them from running the Suzaku Boys over? The men
with stun guns. The crew is very frightened of a possible stampede that would
ruin the equipment.]
FANGIRL #1: TASUKI! TASUKI! I LOVE YOU! CAN I PINCH YOUR BUTT?! [Immediately gets
shocked by a man with a stun gun. She passes out on the floor.]
TASUKI: [Shakes his head] What the hell did I get myself into...?
FANGIRL #1: [Suddenly pops back up] TASUKI! TASUKI! CAN I HAVE A PART OF YOUR HOT
BODY?! [Gets shocked again. She falls to the ground, twitching.]
BOYS + CREW: [Sweatdrop]
FANGIRL #2: MITSUKAKE!! MITSUKAKE!! FIX MY TURKEY! FIX MY TURKEY!! PLEASE FIX MY
TURKEY! ONLY YOU CAN CURE HIM!! [Holds up a month-old dead rotting turkey and a
big neon-pink sign saying 'MY TURKEY NEEDS YOU!']
MITSUKAKE: The turkey's dead.
FANGIRL #2: No it's not!!!!! [Holds it up in his face. Mitsukake gags at the
stench] My turkey needs your help!!
FANBOY #1: Come on, Mitsukake! Fix the turkey! Show appreciation for your fans!
FANGIRL #2: [Shakes the turkey in his face. The head suddenly falls off and lands
on the ground. Tears well up in the girl's eyes] NO! MR. PUPU! MITSUKAKE KILLED
MR. PUPU!!! [An uproar of screaming fans try to push past the guards, but with no
luck.]
DIRECTOR: [Gets out a megaphone] Quiet on the set! Quiet on the set! It's time
to do the last scene for the video, guys! Calm yourselves down!
MITSUKAKE: That damn fuckin' turkey was dead to begin with.
BOYS: [Surprised that Mitsukake cursed]
DIRECTOR: Places! We don't have much time here! Guards, stay on your toes! Suzaku
Boys, get inside the circle of fans! Roll playback! Action!
CHIRIKO: "Don't wanna hear you sayyy-ay-ay-ay-ah-ahh...!"
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a heartache...ain't nothing but a mistake...I never wanna
hear you say...I want it that way..."
[Fans are jumping up and down. Someone picks up Chiriko and passes him along the
crowd. Chiriko is not happy.]
TAMAHOME: "Tell me why-ee!"
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a heartache..." [The fans are all out of control. Some of
the guards are stepped on and probably dead. The Suzaku Boys--minus Chiriko--are
all huddled up in the middle, back to back.]
NURIKO: HOTOHORI-SAMA! HOTOHORI-SAMA! KISSMEKISSMEKISSMEEEEE!!!!!!! [At this,
Hotohori sweatdropped and pretended he didn't hear that.]
CHICHIRI: [Trying to act like a fan, although he wasn't really one at all] NO DA
NO DA NO DA NO DA NO DA!!!!
TASUKI: [Suddenly jumps up] Someone just fuckin' grabbed my ass!
TAMAHOME: "Te-ell me why!"
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a mistake, tell me why-ee...I never wanna hear you say...I
want it that way..."
TAMAHOME: "Tell me whyyy-y-y-y-AAACCKKK!!!" [Is suddenly pulled to the ground. He
realizes it was Miaka who did that. They start kissing down there on the floor.
Tamahome seemed pretty pleased...until a whole group of fans dog-pile on top of
them.]
SET DIRECTOR: Um, Director-san, shouldn't we stop before this goes overboard...?
DIRECTOR: [Laughs evilly] No, no...I think I'm enjoying this...
SET DIRECTOR: [Sweatdrops]
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a heartache...ain't nothing but a mistake, tell me
why-ee..."
[Nuriko finally gets a hold of Hotohori and quickly carries him off the set
without anyone noticing. Hotohori screams for help, but in vain. Why was Hotohori
carried away in secret? We don't know...Chiriko is still crowd-surfing and unable
to get down. No one hears his cries for help. Only Mitsukake and Tasuki are left.
They picked the stun guns off the ground and held them out in front of them for
protection. But the fans were closing in on them.]
ALL: [All who is able to lip sync to the tape, that is] "I never wanna hear you
say-ay-ay..."
[The stun guns fly out of Tasuki and Mitsukake's hands as the fans dive at the two
Suzaku Boys. Chiriko suddenly falls into the middle of the rampaging fans and who
knows what happened to the poor boy...]
ALL: "I want it that way..."
[All the boys--except for Hotohori, who was taken away by Nuriko--are now buried
under the fans' feet.]
TASUKI: [Waves a white surrender flag with his bruised arm] "'Coz I want it that
way..."
DIRECTOR: [Beaming] Cut! That's a wrap on the Suzaku Boys' video!
[The sea of fans finally part and leave for the free buffet, revealing four very
injured Boys, plus one Miaka Yuuki. They all get up groggily and stare at the
director menacingly.]
DIRECTOR: [Ignores the stares and claps her hands together in delight] This is
gonna be a masterpiece!!! [Looks over at Tamahome and Miaka] Tamahome! Miaka! Too
close! Wayyy too close!
TAMAHOME: [Hugs Miaka closer] I can be as close to her as I want! [Miaka starts to
suffocate from his grasp]
DIRECTOR: [Smiles again and shakes his finger at him] No you can't, my dear boy. I
already told the press that Miaka is your uncle's cousin's neice's brother's
stepsister three times removed! Technically, you two are related. Everyone wants
the heartthrob to be single, you know...
MITSUKAKE: [Walks away, pretending he didn't know any of them]
TASUKI: [Laughs hysterically]
CHIRIKO: I think we're missing somebody...aren't we missing somebody?
TAMAHOME: [Turns blue] WHAAAAAAAAAAATTTT?!?!?!?!?!
DIRECTOR: Now set your uncle's cousin's neice's brother's stepsister three times
removed in that chair over there before you kill her. [Indicates her director's
chair]
CHIRIKO: I *swear* we're missing somebody...
TAMAHOME: [Suddenly remembers Miaka and grumpily did what he was told]
CHIRIKO: I still think somebody's missing...[Goes off to the buffet to ponder
about that]
TASUKI: Oi, Coconut boy! Come over here!
COCONUT BOY: [Brings himself and a cart full of coconuts with little straws in
them to Tasuki] You want a coconut, mon?
TASUKI: [In a low voice] Nah...but do me a favor, will ya? See the director?
COCONUT BOY: Where, mon?
TASUKI: [Points ten feet right in front of him] Right there, dammit!
COCONUT BOY: Sorry, mon. But I don't see the director.
TASUKI: [Points more frantically] RIGHT THERE!!! [The coconut boy still doesn't
see the director] Aww, forget it. Give me a damn coconut. [Grabs a coconut off the
cart and throws it at the director's head. The director fall unconscious. Everyone
else in the room stares back and forth from Tasuki to the director. Tasuki laughs
like a maniac and runs off. Perhaps it wasn't wise for him to do that...]
~*A WEEK LATER*~
TASUKI: [At home, drinking a strawberry smoothie. The mailman delivers the mail
through the little slit in the door. Tasuki gets up and picks the mail off the
ground. He sees a folded-up tabloid magazine <AN: Yes, a tabloid magazine> tucked
in the middle. He drops the other letters on the counter and straightens it out.
He reads the the biggest headline on the front cover. Suddenly, he drops the
tabloid in shock and anger.]
TASUKI AND HIS YEARNING TO BE A WOMAN!! Detailed story revealed inside, as told by
the director of the Suzaku Boys' newest hit video!
TASUKI: [Collapses to his knees] SSHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!
[His voice can be heard throughout the entire town.]
*********************************************************** ****************
That must suck for Tasuki...haha...oh, and in case you couldn't tell:
Tamahome - Brian Littrell
Chiriko - Nick Carter
Tasuki - AJ McLean
Mitsukake - Kevin Richardson
Hotohori - Howie Dorough
Ja ne!!
All disclaimers apply!!! Read the fic!!! Exclamation points are fun!!! ^-^
Oh, BTW: [Actions], "Singing IWITW", AN = Author's Note
***********************************************
I Want It That Way: Starring the Suzaku Boys
by Sorceress Elcyion
***********************************************
[Cue music]
TAMAHOME: "Yeah-ah-ah..."
[Cut to five seishi <Tamahome, Tasuki, Hotohori, Chiriko, and Mitsukake> outside
standing around in front of an airplane that says SUZAKU BOYS on it. Hotohori and
Tasuki are pretty much hogging the camera. The others are, well, not.]
TAMAHOME: [Shoves his way in front of both Hotohori and Tasuki] "You are...my
fire. The one...desi-ire. Believe...when I say...that I want it that way."
CHIRIKO: "But we...are two worlds apart. Can't reach too-oo...your hea-ea-eart..."
TASUKI: [Whispers] Where the hell is that kid?
MITSUKAKE: [Points behind Tasuki]
TASUKI: Whoops. [Sidesteps so that we can see Chiriko]
CHIRIKO: [Can now be seen clearly] "...when you say...that I want it that way.
Tell me why-ee!" [Purposely steps on Tasuki's foot for blocking him]
TASUKI: ITAI! Ya damn kid! What the hell's that for?! I moved outta the way!!
DIRECTOR: CUT! Tasuki, don't talk in the middle of shooting!!! you have to lip
sync to the playback tape!
TASUKI: IT'S NOT MY FUCKIN' FAULT!!!
CHIRIKO: [Sticks his tongue out at Tasuki]
DIRECTOR: [gets out a mallet from behind her chair and hits Tasuki over the head
with it. He falls down, swirls in his eyes.]
HOTOHORI: [Looks at Tasuki, sweatdropping] Will he be getting up any soon? I
want to get to my solo.
DIRECTOR: Don't worry, he will.
[Suddenly, a blur runs up to the director. We realize that it's Hurricane
Nuriko. Hotohori moves away and hides behind a fat cameraman, who's eating
doughnuts. Hotohori looks at him in disgust and decides to hide behind the green
screen.]
DIRECTOR: [Talks before Nuriko could say anything] Nuriko, you're gonna have to
wait a while...
NURIKO: Well, HURRY!! Hotohori-sama's expecting me...[Gets starry-eyed]
DIRECTOR: I hate my job...[Turns to the Suzaku Boys] Okay! Right where we left
off! Tasuki! Get your ass off the ground!
TASUKI: [Groggily gets up]
HOTOHORI: [Checks if the coast is clear. It is. Comes out from behind the green
screen and stands with the other ones, who are all impatient and not in the
happiest of moods. Hotohori gets out a mirror and starts primping.]
DIRECTOR: Roll playback! Hotohori, put that away please.
CHIRIKO: "Tell me why-ee!"
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a heartache..."
DIRECTOR: Mirror away!
CHIRIKO: "Tell me why-ee!"
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a mistake, tell me why-ee."
DIRECTOR: I mean it! NOW!!!!
CHIRIKO: "I never wanna hear you sa-a-ay..."
DIRECTOR: HOTOHORI! PUT THAT DAMN MIRROR AWAY!!
ALL: [Visibly scared of the director's tone, but they pretend everything's
peachy] "I want it that way..."
TASUKI: [Pushes in front of everyone else, his face all up in the camera.] "Am
I...your fi--"
DIRECTOR: CUT!!!
TASUKI: [Upset] But that was my SOLO, dammit!!
DIRECTOR: [Ignores him] HOTOHORI!!!!!! HOW MANY TIMES DID I SAY TO PUT. THAT.
THING. AWAY?!?!?
TAMAHOME: [Whispers to Hotohori] You should've listened to her...
DIRECTOR: [Rubs temples] YOU PEOPLE DRIVE ME CRAZY!!!!!!!
TAMAHOME: You drive me crazy...I just can't sleep...I'm so exci--
DIRECTOR: [Gets out mallet threateningly] I don't need that from you, Tamahome!!
TAMAHOME: [Looks very nervous] Gomen...hehehe...just trying to lighten up the
mood...
DIRECTOR: [Sighs] Okay...happy thoughts, happy thoughts. [Takes deep breaths.
In. Out. In. Out.] All right, back to where we left off! Tasuki's solo!
TASUKI: YEAAAHHH HAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! WOO!!!!
BOYS + CREW: [Look at him strangely]
TASUKI: Oh, damn, wrong song...
DIRECTOR: Places, everyone! [Everyone did as they were told] Roll playback!
TASUKI: [His entire face is in the camera] "Am I...your fire? Your one...
desi-ire? Yes I kno-o-o-ow, it's too-oo-oo la-ate..."
DIRECTOR: Back away from the camera, Tasuki!
TASUKI: [Glares at the director, who glares back. Tasuki reluctantly moves back
a foot, revealing maybe an arm or a leg of some of the others] "...but I want it
tha-at way. Tell me why-ee!"
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a heartache..."
TASUKI: "Tell me why!"
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a mis--"
[Nuriko suddenly runs up to the scene. Chichiri lags far behind, sweatdropping.]
NURIKO: OH MY GOD! SUZAKU BOYS! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!! I LOVE YOU
HOTOHORI-SAMA!! SUZAKU BOYS!! [Starts hanging all over Hotohori. Everyone else
backs away slowly. Hotohori is getting suffocated by Nuriko's grip.]
HOTOHORI: Help me...
DIRECTOR: CUUUUUTTTT!!! NURIKO! NOT YET! You are WAY too early!!!
CHICHIRI: I had a feeling that we were, no da. But nooooo, he didn't listen, no
da...
DIRECTOR: Don't you have better things to do?! Geez! [To the crew] Right where
we left off! Action!
[Nuriko and Chichiri sneak away with the director's car keys to her BMW
convertible. She doesn't notice at all.]
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a mistake, tell me why-ee."
TAMAHOME: "I never wanna hear you sa-a-ay..."
ALL: "I want it that way..."
MITSUKAKE: [Camera gets a long shot of his body. He just stands there.] "Now I
can see that we're falling apart...from the way that it used to be..."
DIRECTOR: Cut! Mitsukake, why don't you move around? Look more emotional...Roll
playback! Action!
MITSUKAKE: [Looks the same. Only this time he shifts his foot a little.] "Now I
can see that we're falling apart...from the--"
DIRECTOR: That's not it! Cut!
MITSUKAKE: I moved.
DIRECTOR: [Sweatdrops] Is that all you can do?
MITSUKAKE: I can move my hands if you want me to.
BOYS + CREW: [Facefaults]
DIRECTOR: Better than nothing...start at Mitsukake's solo!
MITSUKAKE: [Does the same thing, only this time his fingers made the slightest
movement.] "Now I can see that we're falling apar--"
DIRECTOR: Stop! Mitsukake... [Trying her best to be patient. She starts speaking
to him as if he were deaf] Do you un-der-stand what I mean by e-mo-tio-nal?
MITSUKAKE: I'm trying my best...
HOTOHORI: Can we hurry it up? My hair is getting limp!
[Immediately, hair and make-up people run up to Hotohori and start making him
more beautiful than ever. Smokes of powder surround everyone.]
TAMAHOME: [Cough] Director-san [cough], can we [cough] hurry up with [cough] the
video [cough]?
DIRECTOR: I KNOW!! But [cough] some [cough] people just won't [cough] listen to
[cough] me!!
HOTOHORI: [Looking more glamorous than usual] I believe I am ready for my close
up.
DIRECTOR: [Sighs] Good, good. Now let's go and start from Mitsukake's solo...Roll
playback!
MITSUKAKE: "Now I can see that we're falling apart...from the wa--"
DIRECTOR: HOLD IT!
TASUKI: Dammit, what the fuck is the deal now?
DIRECTOR: I've got a better idea...since Mitsukake here won't look emotional for
me...then I think the rest of you should...dance around him. To give the video
more...feeling.
CHIRIKO: *Dance* around him?
DIRECTOR: Exactly...just do it freestyle. Dance however you feel like dancing...
Now, action!
MITSUKAKE: "Now I can see that we're falling apart..."
CHIRIKO, TASUKI, TAMAHOME, HOTOHORI: [Just look each other, trying to figure out
how they should dance]
CHIRIKO: [Starts doing some weird doo-wop thing]
TAMAHOME: [Starts mosh-pitting]
HOTOHORI: [Is trying to dance, but it looks more like posing for the camera]
TASUKI: [Just crosses his arms, refusing to take part in it. He just wanted to
wait for his turn to sing.]
MITSUKAKE: "...from the way that it used to be..."
ALL: "Yea-ah..."
MITSUKAKE + TASUKI: "No matter the distance, I want you to know...that deep down
inside of meeeeeeee!"
HOTOHORI: [Now the camera hogger. He flips his shiny hair back. Some of it gets
into Tasuki's mouth. He starts walking away, spitting out hair.] "You are...my
fire..."
MITSUKAKE: [Grumbles something and walks away]
HOTOHORI: "...the one...desi-ire..." [Winks at the camera]
ALL: "You are, you are, you are, you are..." <AN: I couldn't figure out who sings
which... ^_^>
CHIRIKO: [Pounces on top of Tasuki, who gets slammed to the ground, face down]
"Don't wanna hear you sayyy-ay-ay-ay-ah-ahh...!" <AN: Listen to Nick's part...I
tried copying it exactly...>
DIRECTOR: Cut! That's a wrap for this scene!
TASUKI: Wasn't I awesome or what?
HOTOHORI: I believe *I* was the best one out there...although my solo wasn't long
enough...
TAMAHOME: But *I'm* the heartthrob of the group!
CHIRIKO: But everyone *loves* the baby of the band...!
MITSUKAKE: Fangirls like shy men... [No one hears poor Mitsukake]
TASUKI: You guys are all fuckin' wrong! It's the *rebel* they want!
HOTOHORI: The charmer is the most wanted...I should know...
DIRECTOR: SHUT UP!
SUZAKU BOYS: [Shut up. They look at the director.]
DIRECTOR: [In. Out. In. Out.] Okay. I think we have enough footage for this
scene. Let's do the one with the dancing...
[So the Suzaku Boys do take after take after take of dancing their butts off. The
director of course, is very disappointed. Finally, after the Suzaku Boys fall
down domino-style for what seemed to be the millionth time, the director gives up
on the choreography scene and proceeds onto other ones.]
DIRECTOR: Where's my latte?! Where is it?! I want it right now! Where's the latte
boy?! Latte boy!!!
LATTE BOY: [Quickly offers his last latte to the director, bowing. He is very,
very scared out of his mind.] H-here is y-your l-latte, direct-tor-s-sama...
DIRECTOR: [Grabs it] Thank you, latte boy. Here, have a cookie. [Tosses the boy
a cookie]
LATTE BOY: [The cookie drops to the ground. He grabs it off the ground like a
dog and greedily runs away with it, scarfing the treat down messily and noisily.]
DIRECTOR: What a promising young lad...
BOYS + CREW: [Sweatdrop]
DIRECTOR: Okay, back to business! Our final scene for today is the last scene
with all the fans standing around admiring you guys. It's in...that room. [Points
to an old-looking wooden door with various signs like 'KEEP OUT' and 'BEWARE'
nailed to it]
BOYS: [Shudder. They may like having fans, but when it comes to them actually
going up face-to-face with them...it's scary.]
NURIKO: Weeeeeeee're back! [All smiles]
CHICHIRI: Yes, no da. Back, no da. [All smiles also]
DIRECTOR: [Suddenly feels suspicious, but shrugs it off] Chichiri! Nuriko! You
guys are here just in time. We're about to shoot the last scene...
NURIKO: REALLY?! Let's go get to our places, Chichiri! [Runs off into the
mysterious room, but not before literally tossing chibi-Chichiri through the open
door]
DIRECTOR: [Looks at the Suzaku Boys solemnly] Are you ready...to face...the
fans?
BOYS: [Nod, expressions just as serious]
DIRECTOR: The other half of the crew is already waiting there...let's go. [The
Suzaku Boys and the director make their way into the room.]
[Inside the room is a mass of teenage fangirls, plus some familiar faces from a
certain anime show. What keeps them from running the Suzaku Boys over? The men
with stun guns. The crew is very frightened of a possible stampede that would
ruin the equipment.]
FANGIRL #1: TASUKI! TASUKI! I LOVE YOU! CAN I PINCH YOUR BUTT?! [Immediately gets
shocked by a man with a stun gun. She passes out on the floor.]
TASUKI: [Shakes his head] What the hell did I get myself into...?
FANGIRL #1: [Suddenly pops back up] TASUKI! TASUKI! CAN I HAVE A PART OF YOUR HOT
BODY?! [Gets shocked again. She falls to the ground, twitching.]
BOYS + CREW: [Sweatdrop]
FANGIRL #2: MITSUKAKE!! MITSUKAKE!! FIX MY TURKEY! FIX MY TURKEY!! PLEASE FIX MY
TURKEY! ONLY YOU CAN CURE HIM!! [Holds up a month-old dead rotting turkey and a
big neon-pink sign saying 'MY TURKEY NEEDS YOU!']
MITSUKAKE: The turkey's dead.
FANGIRL #2: No it's not!!!!! [Holds it up in his face. Mitsukake gags at the
stench] My turkey needs your help!!
FANBOY #1: Come on, Mitsukake! Fix the turkey! Show appreciation for your fans!
FANGIRL #2: [Shakes the turkey in his face. The head suddenly falls off and lands
on the ground. Tears well up in the girl's eyes] NO! MR. PUPU! MITSUKAKE KILLED
MR. PUPU!!! [An uproar of screaming fans try to push past the guards, but with no
luck.]
DIRECTOR: [Gets out a megaphone] Quiet on the set! Quiet on the set! It's time
to do the last scene for the video, guys! Calm yourselves down!
MITSUKAKE: That damn fuckin' turkey was dead to begin with.
BOYS: [Surprised that Mitsukake cursed]
DIRECTOR: Places! We don't have much time here! Guards, stay on your toes! Suzaku
Boys, get inside the circle of fans! Roll playback! Action!
CHIRIKO: "Don't wanna hear you sayyy-ay-ay-ay-ah-ahh...!"
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a heartache...ain't nothing but a mistake...I never wanna
hear you say...I want it that way..."
[Fans are jumping up and down. Someone picks up Chiriko and passes him along the
crowd. Chiriko is not happy.]
TAMAHOME: "Tell me why-ee!"
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a heartache..." [The fans are all out of control. Some of
the guards are stepped on and probably dead. The Suzaku Boys--minus Chiriko--are
all huddled up in the middle, back to back.]
NURIKO: HOTOHORI-SAMA! HOTOHORI-SAMA! KISSMEKISSMEKISSMEEEEE!!!!!!! [At this,
Hotohori sweatdropped and pretended he didn't hear that.]
CHICHIRI: [Trying to act like a fan, although he wasn't really one at all] NO DA
NO DA NO DA NO DA NO DA!!!!
TASUKI: [Suddenly jumps up] Someone just fuckin' grabbed my ass!
TAMAHOME: "Te-ell me why!"
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a mistake, tell me why-ee...I never wanna hear you say...I
want it that way..."
TAMAHOME: "Tell me whyyy-y-y-y-AAACCKKK!!!" [Is suddenly pulled to the ground. He
realizes it was Miaka who did that. They start kissing down there on the floor.
Tamahome seemed pretty pleased...until a whole group of fans dog-pile on top of
them.]
SET DIRECTOR: Um, Director-san, shouldn't we stop before this goes overboard...?
DIRECTOR: [Laughs evilly] No, no...I think I'm enjoying this...
SET DIRECTOR: [Sweatdrops]
ALL: "Ain't nothing but a heartache...ain't nothing but a mistake, tell me
why-ee..."
[Nuriko finally gets a hold of Hotohori and quickly carries him off the set
without anyone noticing. Hotohori screams for help, but in vain. Why was Hotohori
carried away in secret? We don't know...Chiriko is still crowd-surfing and unable
to get down. No one hears his cries for help. Only Mitsukake and Tasuki are left.
They picked the stun guns off the ground and held them out in front of them for
protection. But the fans were closing in on them.]
ALL: [All who is able to lip sync to the tape, that is] "I never wanna hear you
say-ay-ay..."
[The stun guns fly out of Tasuki and Mitsukake's hands as the fans dive at the two
Suzaku Boys. Chiriko suddenly falls into the middle of the rampaging fans and who
knows what happened to the poor boy...]
ALL: "I want it that way..."
[All the boys--except for Hotohori, who was taken away by Nuriko--are now buried
under the fans' feet.]
TASUKI: [Waves a white surrender flag with his bruised arm] "'Coz I want it that
way..."
DIRECTOR: [Beaming] Cut! That's a wrap on the Suzaku Boys' video!
[The sea of fans finally part and leave for the free buffet, revealing four very
injured Boys, plus one Miaka Yuuki. They all get up groggily and stare at the
director menacingly.]
DIRECTOR: [Ignores the stares and claps her hands together in delight] This is
gonna be a masterpiece!!! [Looks over at Tamahome and Miaka] Tamahome! Miaka! Too
close! Wayyy too close!
TAMAHOME: [Hugs Miaka closer] I can be as close to her as I want! [Miaka starts to
suffocate from his grasp]
DIRECTOR: [Smiles again and shakes his finger at him] No you can't, my dear boy. I
already told the press that Miaka is your uncle's cousin's neice's brother's
stepsister three times removed! Technically, you two are related. Everyone wants
the heartthrob to be single, you know...
MITSUKAKE: [Walks away, pretending he didn't know any of them]
TASUKI: [Laughs hysterically]
CHIRIKO: I think we're missing somebody...aren't we missing somebody?
TAMAHOME: [Turns blue] WHAAAAAAAAAAATTTT?!?!?!?!?!
DIRECTOR: Now set your uncle's cousin's neice's brother's stepsister three times
removed in that chair over there before you kill her. [Indicates her director's
chair]
CHIRIKO: I *swear* we're missing somebody...
TAMAHOME: [Suddenly remembers Miaka and grumpily did what he was told]
CHIRIKO: I still think somebody's missing...[Goes off to the buffet to ponder
about that]
TASUKI: Oi, Coconut boy! Come over here!
COCONUT BOY: [Brings himself and a cart full of coconuts with little straws in
them to Tasuki] You want a coconut, mon?
TASUKI: [In a low voice] Nah...but do me a favor, will ya? See the director?
COCONUT BOY: Where, mon?
TASUKI: [Points ten feet right in front of him] Right there, dammit!
COCONUT BOY: Sorry, mon. But I don't see the director.
TASUKI: [Points more frantically] RIGHT THERE!!! [The coconut boy still doesn't
see the director] Aww, forget it. Give me a damn coconut. [Grabs a coconut off the
cart and throws it at the director's head. The director fall unconscious. Everyone
else in the room stares back and forth from Tasuki to the director. Tasuki laughs
like a maniac and runs off. Perhaps it wasn't wise for him to do that...]
~*A WEEK LATER*~
TASUKI: [At home, drinking a strawberry smoothie. The mailman delivers the mail
through the little slit in the door. Tasuki gets up and picks the mail off the
ground. He sees a folded-up tabloid magazine <AN: Yes, a tabloid magazine> tucked
in the middle. He drops the other letters on the counter and straightens it out.
He reads the the biggest headline on the front cover. Suddenly, he drops the
tabloid in shock and anger.]
TASUKI AND HIS YEARNING TO BE A WOMAN!! Detailed story revealed inside, as told by
the director of the Suzaku Boys' newest hit video!
TASUKI: [Collapses to his knees] SSHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!
[His voice can be heard throughout the entire town.]
*********************************************************** ****************
That must suck for Tasuki...haha...oh, and in case you couldn't tell:
Tamahome - Brian Littrell
Chiriko - Nick Carter
Tasuki - AJ McLean
Mitsukake - Kevin Richardson
Hotohori - Howie Dorough
Ja ne!!