Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Tainted Love ❯ Chapter One ( Chapter 1 )

Chapter One

Sha Gojyo sat bolt upright from his bedroll, like a drowning man breaking the surface of a turbulent sea. That sea, however, was a terrible nightmare. No, not a nightmare. A memory, which he had believe to be long buried deep inside his psyche. He gripped himself tightly to stop his trembling, but he couldn't stop his teeth from chattering.

As though his naked skin was exposed to the cold air.

Damn it! Gojyo cursed inside his mind. Damn that youkai! Why did that bastard have to bring it all back?!

~~~~~

Earlier, just before sunset, a band of youkai ambushed them, bounty hunters eager for a hefty cut in the reward on their heads. It seemed like it was going to be a piece of cake. Sanzo was picking them off one by one, with a rhythmic pop, pop, pop of his gun. He and Hakkai, as always, went for sheer volume, his jakujou slicing and dicing through their foe while Hakkai opted to give them a quick cremation with his qigong. Goku, on the other hand, was perched on a low branch of a small tree. With nyoibou in his hands, he was bashing youkai heads in like an addicted player of that manic "Bop-The-Mole-In-The-Hole" arcade game.

Goku whined miserably, "Harahetta! I am soooo weak from hunger!"

Gojyo just couldn't resist teasing the saru, and thinking on it now, he knew he shouldn't have allowed himself to get distracted.

"Oi, Hakkai!" he had called out to his friend, finger pointed at Goku above his head. "Look at the starving monkey in the tree!"

When Hakkai turned, however, his green eyes flew wide. "GOJYO! LOOK OUT!"

Before he could even blink, he was seized by eight strong arms and carried off deep into the woods. Behind him, he could hear his companions shouting his name.

With a smirk, Gojyo glanced at his abductor, an ugly bastard with a head like a wild boar. "You just kidnapped the wrong guy, man! If you're thinking of using me as a hostage to get the Maten Kyoumon, forget it. That namaguza bouzu doesn't give a shit about me. They're probably on the way to Tenjiku right now."

"That was my plan," the youkai admitted, his voice as rough as sandpaper. "But after getting a good look at you, I changed my mind."

Gojyo felt his heart give a sudden lurch when a large hand ripped his undershirt from neck to waist. His blood ran cold, feeling that same hand reach under his jacket to grope his chest. With his body held secure by the youkai's other arms, he couldn't stop that obscene fondling. He thought of using his feet to break free, but he couldn't even get a foothold on the ground because of the youkai's swift pace.

The half-breed shuddered all over as a snake-like tongue licked his neck and a loathsome face nuzzled in his hair.

"It would make me happy if your friends did abandon you, then I'd have you all to myself," the youkai panted in his ear. "You're so pretty, Sha Gojyo, and so hot! I heard you only liked women? Well, I'll make you forget about them. I'll be fucking you so hard you'll be screaming for more!"

Gojyo was actually on the verge of screaming, his scarlet eyes dilated in sheer terror. No, no, no! Just that one word played like a broken record inside his head.

"KIIIYAAAAAAHHHHH!"

That war cry was followed by a hollow crack, like a coconut being split open. Gojyo fell tumbling to the ground, as the youkai crashed into a tree. As he slowly picked himself up to a kneeling position, he saw Goku land a short distance from him with nyoibou in hand. Behind the saru, Sanzo fired a bullet into the youkai's head.

It's over. It's all over, Gojyo kept telling himself over and over again.

But why won't he stop shaking?

"Gojyo? Daijoubu desu ka?" a soft, gentle voice asked beside him.

Turning, the redhead found himself staring into jade green eyes filled with worry and concern…and something else. Something that drove away the chill of fear, replacing it with the heat of trust, safety…and friendship?

No, not friendship. Something more than that….

Gojyo was sorely tempted to accept what was being offered. His heart was crying for him to do so.

But he dared not accept, more so to hope that what was being offered to him was honest and true…and irrevocable.

Hakkai was about to lay a soothing arm around his shoulders. Instead, the half-breed took his hand. Was that a spark of disappointment in Hakkai's eyes?

Daijoubu, daijoubu," Gojyo said cheerfully, as he was pulled to his feet. Brushing dust and grass from his jeans, he exclaimed in relief, "I'm glad you guys showed up."

Sanzo let out a snort, a most undignified sound coming from a high-ranking monk. "It wasn't my choice, believe me. I merely followed Hakkai and Goku."

"You should've been more alert, Gojyo," Goku scolded him, his stomach growling noisily. "All that running around has made me very hungry."

"You've got a lot of nerve telling me that, bakazaru!" Gojyo declared hotly. "You're the one who distracted me in the first place!"

"Oh, so it's my fault now, is it?"

"Yes, it is!"

"It's not!"

"IT IS!"

"IT'S NOT!"

"IT IS!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" They were immediately silenced by the hard whacks of Sanzo's harisen.

Clutching the back of his head, Gojyo couldn't help but smile, despite the pain. Everything's back to normal! I'm safe!

"I saw a small clearing on the way here. We can camp there." Sanzo announced, as he led the way with Goku tagging along behind him.

Gojyo was about to follow, but Hakkai's soft voice stopped him.

"Are you sure you're all right, Gojyo? Your clothes…"

"Oh, this?" The half-breed yanked up the zipper of his jacket. "It's nothing. It somehow got torn while I was trying to break free from that youkai. I'm fine, Hakkai. Really!"

Hakkai smiled, but it was very obvious on his face that he was not convinced by the redhead's explanation. "If you say so. Shall we go?"

All the way to the clearing, Gojyo noticed that his gentle friend followed protectively behind him.

~~~~~

"Gojyo? Gojyo…"

The redhead shook away the memory of the earlier incident to find Hakkai also awake and sitting up.

"Hakkai! Did I wake you?" Gojyo grinned sheepishly. "Sorry about that! Had a bad dream."

"Was it about the youkai?" Hakkai asked softly. "The way you're holding yourself…"

"Actually, I don't remember what my dream was about," the half-breed lied. "I'm just feeling a little chilly. It is rather cold tonight. I'll be fine. Oyasumi."

Gojyo settled back into his bedroll, but before he could tuck his arms in, Hakkai captured his left hand in his warm grasp.

"Hakkai?"

There was deep sorrow and regret on Hakkai's face as he gazed at his friend throiugh the flickering flames of their campfire. "Gojyo, I'm sorry. I was the one closest to you, yet that youkai was able to grab you."

"Hakkai, it's not your fault," Gojyo reassured him. "I became careless. Don't wrack yourself with guilt over what happened."

"If that youkai hurt you, I don't know what I would've done." For a moment, Hakkai fell silent. Looking at the half-breed once more, he revealed, "You mean a lot to me, Gojyo."

That simple statement took Gojyo aback, but Hakkai was very serious. To emphasize what he said, he even gave the redhead's hand a squeeze. How could he lie again under the intense scrutiny of those emerald eyes?

"You mean a lot to me too, Hakkai." But Gojyo hastily added, "I will forever cherish your friendship."

"Friendship… Is that all I am to you? A friend?"

"Hakkai…you know I don't…with men…"

"But I can hope, can't I?"

"You're setting yourself up for disappointment if you do."

"I don't think so," Hakkai said with certainty. "I've seen the truth in your eyes. You can lie all you want, but your eyes will always reveal the truth to me."

"Hakkai, don't…"

Hakkai gave his hand another squeeze. "I will wait, but I can't promise that I'll be patient. In the meantime, I'll protect you."

Gojyo had to ask that inevitable question. "Why, Hakkai? Why me?"

"I've been denying it, been lying to myself for too long out of respect for Kanan's memory," Hakkai admitted with a sigh. "That first time we met, that's when it happened, I think. When I saw you staring down at me with your beautiful red hair, I thought I was already in Heaven. I thought this…attraction…would diminish with time as I got to know you better. And you're the exact opposite of Kanan – you're a swinging playboy, you're a slob. Lord only knows how much you infuriate me with that filthy habit of yours of using a beer can as an ashtray. But it's all these little things that endeared you to me. Then, we embarked on this journey. Before I even realized it, you've filled the void that Kanan had left inside my heart."

Gojyo carefully pulled his hand out of Hakkai's grasp and tucked his whole arm inside his bedroll. Lowering his head so that the other man won't see his eyes, he mumbled, "You're making a big mistake. I could never love another man." Inwardly, he amended, No man could love me.

With a cheerful smile, however, Hakkai confidently declared, "We shall see!"

The half-breed let out a "Harrumph!" and turned his back on his friend, only to behold violet eyes peering back at him. A blush colored his cheeks at Sanzo's intense scrutiny, as though the monk were trying to discover the secrets inside his heart. After what seemed like an uncomfortable eternity, Sanzo's eyes just snapped shut.

Sleep was slow to come to Gojyo after that, sinking as he was in the quagmire of his fear and despair. He had long prayed for someone who would love him, despite his being a half-breed. But he gave up in the end, realizing that his prayers would never be answered. Not after what happened on that terrible night of his eighteenth birthday, a year before he stumbled upon an injured young man in the forest.

Why did his prayers have to be answered now when it was too late for him?

Now that Hakkai had made his true feelings known, he deeply regretted making those heartfelt prayers during those long, lonely nights of his youth. And he was deathly afraid.

What if Hakkai should find out…

Gojyo's crimson eyes blurred with tears. No, I can't allow this to continue. I must discourage Hakkai early on before it goes any further. He deserves someone better than me, maybe a nice young woman just like Kanan.

As he squeezed his eyes shut to stop the flow of tears, another thought entered his mind, But, damn it! Why does it hurt so much?

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