Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Because of You ❯ chapter 10 ( Chapter 10 )

“Because of You”

Sequel to: “This I Promise You”

Written by: Chocho

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Summary: A new baby. An autobiography. A funeral. A pregnancy. A shocking discovery and a woman with a grudge.

Chapter summary: The final chapter of the Todono Ranmaru funeral

Warning: Angst, m-preg, language, sex

Source: “The Japanese Way of Death: A Funeral in Sapporo” written by David Aldwinckle. You can find it at: www.debito.org/JPRIjapanesefuneral.html

 

***

 

Chapter 10

 

(The night before)

 

Shuichi bent over the coffee table and grabbed the remote control. Pointing it at the television, he pressed the red power button and watched as the picture blinked off. He set the remote back down on the table. The only sounds permeating the Shindou household were the ticking of the clock that sounded unnaturally loud in the silence of the house and the occasional cacophony of burbles from his left. Sitting back, his legs folded under him, Shuichi leaned his elbow on the arm of the couch and gazed at the small, dark bundle cradled in Eiri's arms, sucking ravenously on a bottle.

 

“So noisy!” he exclaimed.

 

Eiri snorted and looked pointedly at the smaller man out of the corner of his eye. “I wonder who he takes after.”

 

Shuichi stuck out his tongue at the man.

 

“Very mature,” Eiri said.

 

“Thank you!” Shuichi smiled.

 

Eiri sighed heavily.

 

Shuichi giggled, grinning widely. “Geez! Look at him go! He acts as if he hasn't eaten all day!” Half the bottle was gone already.

 

“Yeah. Poor baby is starving to death. Look at how he's wasting away,” Eiri replied blandly.

 

Shuichi laughed. At three months, Uesugi-Shindou Saburo Kira weighed sixteen pounds, about five pounds heavier than his brothers and both of his parents when they were his age. It might have a lot to do with the fact that Kira was just a little piggy. He always seemed to be either eating or sleeping.

 

Little Kira had been wearing his cap earlier, but he was not wearing it anymore because Kane had spilled soy sauce on it at dinner. Apparently, though, according to Kane he did not do it. Yeah, just like the broken vase, the marker on the wall, the muddy footprints in the hall, the water on the kitchen floor, the towel soaking in the bathtub and Keitaro's favorite book at the bottom of the pool. Nope. None of it was Kane's fault.

 

Kira's head full of jet black hair was sticking up down the middle of his head like a Mohawk. Shuichi thought it would be cool if they dyed the tips of his hair an electric blue, but Eiri had been vehemently against it to say the least. Kane and Keitaro on the other hand had both had comb overs when they were babies. Shuichi had feared they would grow up to look like Donald Trump. God forbid.

 

The three month old was wrapped tightly in a white blanket, cradled in the crook of Eiri's arm. There was a pillow under Eiri's arm supporting both Kira and him as he fed their son. Kira looked dwarfed in his daddy's arms.

 

Shuichi gazed at his husband, a dreamy expression on his face as he watched Eiri watching Kira. A gentle smile was titling the writer's lips, softening his facial features. Shuichi felt warmth spread through him as he studied the love of his life. “I love you, Eiri.”

 

Eiri turned and gave Shuichi a sweet smile that was reserved only for him. “I know.”

 

Translation, “I love you, too.”

 

A sudden sigh from besides Shuichi broke the spell. They both gazed down at Keitaro and Kane who were sleeping peacefully and looking again like angels on the opposite end of the couch. A thin blanket had been draped over them earlier by their grandmother. The boys were sleeping amicably, curled up together. Shuichi smiled warmly at the sight.

 

“The only time.”

 

“What is?” Shuichi asked, tearing his eyes away from the boys.

 

Eiri tipped his chin towards the twins. “The only time they get along is when they're sleeping.”

 

Shuichi gazed back down at Keitaro and Kane with a giggle. Eiri was right.

 

He took in their fair complexions, dark blond hair and light brown eyes and turned to take in Kira's appearance. With his olive complexion and black hair, he looked nothing like his older brothers. If it was not for the similar facial features, it would be hard if not impossible to tell that they were related. It was not unlike Eiri and Tatsuha.

 

“You know,” Shuichi said, breaking the silence. He turned toward the boys.

 

“Hmmm.”

 

“I don't have a brother.”

 

“Uh, huh.”

 

“The closest thing I have to one is Hiro.”

 

Eiri snorted in disbelief.

 

Shuichi ignored him.

 

“And your point is…?”

 

The singer looked at Eiri. “I don't know what it's like to have one. Is this normal?”

 

Eiri looked at his husband with a raised eyebrow. “What?”

 

“Them,” Shuichi said, indicating the boys.

 

Eiri sighed. “I've told you, Shu-chan. They're boys. They fight.”

 

“Well, yeah, but…”

 

“But what?” he asked exasperated. With a heavy sigh, he pulled the now empty bottle out of Kira's mouth and handed it to Shuichi, who took it and set it on the coffee table. Eiri sat Kira on his leg and grabbed the dish towel off his knee to wipe his son's milk dribbled chin. He swore Kira got more on him then in him. Setting the dish towel down on the arm of the chair, he cradled Kira's head by cupping his chin with his already soaked bib and starting patting the three month old's back with his free hand.

 

He understood Shuichi's concern. While all siblings fight, Keitaro and Kane seemed to fight more than normal children. That may have a lot to do with the fact get they are complete opposites and tend to butt heads on just about everything. Keitaro and Kane have a little of both of them in their personalities, but Keitaro is more like him and Kane is more like Shuichi. If Shuichi and his relationship was any indication, the boys would have one hell of a relationship.

 

“Shu, don't worry about it.”

 

“Really?” He bit his lip, not convinced. “I mean, Hiro and I only had one real fight.”

 

Eiri remembered that fight all too well. The brat had looked like he had been gangbanged. He shook away memories that surged to the surface.

 

“We never really argue,” Shuichi was saying. He looked down at the boys. “And compared to that, it's like World War III every time they're in the same room.”

 

“That's because Hiro always lets you have your way,” Eiri shot back. It was just too tiring to argue with the brat otherwise.

 

Shuichi frowned, opening his mouth to argue.

 

“Besides,” Eiri continued with a sly smirk on his face, “usually to be a boy, you have to be male.” He paused. “You qualify as…neither.”

 

Shuichi threw his husband an angry glare, growling.

 

Eiri smiled evilly.

 

Shuichi grabbed the throw pillow from behind his back and whipped it at Eiri's head, being careful of his infant son. “Jerk,” he pouted.

 

Eiri chuckled, knocking the pillow aside.

 

Shuichi grinned, shaking his head. Sometimes he just did not understand Eiri. He glanced down at Kane and Keitaro, still smiling, and noticed that Keitaro had kicked the blanket aside. Reaching out, he tucked it back around them.

 

Sitting back, he let his eyes roam over the living room and they landed on his bag by the front door. He was not sure how it got there but figured Kane had been playing with it earlier. Unfolding his legs, he swung them off the couch and winced as he felt how stiff and numb they had become. Stretching them out, Shuichi planted his feet on the floor and slid to the edge of the sofa. Pushing himself off, he gasped in surprise as his leg buckled underneath him.

 

Eiri looked at him sharply.

 

Shuichi caught himself on the coffee table. His heart beat wickedly in his chest. Breathing heavily, he tried to get hold of himself. Sighing, he closed his eyes and said a silent prayer. Tapping his toes against the floor, he again stretched out his leg. Taking a deep breath, he straightened and rounded the coffee table towards the front door and his bag, shaking ever so slightly.

 

A belch erupted suddenly from behind him, shattering the silence that had enveloped the house. Shuichi stumbled to a stop and glanced over his shoulder at his husband and son, blinking in shock. “Was that Kira?” he asked in disbelief.

 

Eiri gave his husband a blank stare. “What do you think? Sure as hell wasn't me,” he snapped.

 

Shuichi stared at Eiri with a cocked eyebrow, the corner of his mouth tilted in amusement. He snorted, shaking his head. He turned back around and crouched down besides his bag. “Oh, please! Don't even try to act all innocent! You pulled this yesterday, remember? When I had to change Kira and you claimed you never stink up the bathroom?” he reminded the writer as he reached inside his bag.

 

“I don't.”

 

“Ha!”

 

“What's that supposed to mean?”

 

“Eiri,” Shuichi scolded with a sigh, pausing his search, “you make more bodily noises than the boys and I combined!”

 

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” Eiri said, turning his head away from his husbands penetrating stare. He cursed himself when he felt his face grow warm. Sometimes he did not like that Shuichi knew him so well.

 

“Sure. You keep believing that,” Shuichi said as he continued his search through the bottomless pit that was his bag.

 

“I will,” Eiri barked, offended.

 

Shuichi snorted. “Uh, huh. Just remember that the next you take a shit or fart.”

 

His hand hit a small rectangular box. His hand stilled. His heart preformed a summersault. Shuichi glanced quickly over his shoulder at his husband. His heart was pounding so loud he was surprised that Eiri could not hear it. He then continued his excavation through the bowels of his bag. He could feel himself shaking. He felt so guilty about hiding his suspicions from Eiri, but he did not want to say anything until he was sure. Besides, he was not entirely sure what Eiri's opinion on the matter was. For that matter, Shuichi was unclear what his view on the subject was.

 

Eiri felt his blush deepen. “I do not-!”

 

“Found it!” Shuichi cried suddenly, when his hand hit a spiral spine.

 

“Found what?”

 

“My notebook.”

 

“Your what?”

 

“You know, my notebook?” Shuichi said in a “duh” tone. “The one I use to jot down lyrics? It was at the bottom of my bag.”

 

“Uh, huh.” And he cared because…?

 

Pulling out a black sketchers pad, Shuichi stood up and dropped his bag to the floor. Turning around, he caught sight of Kira in his daddy's arms. A smile crossed his face. He met Eiri's piercing gaze. His smile widened. They were so cute! He giggled.

 

Eiri glared at Shuichi through squinted eyes. He knew exactly what the brat was thinking and was not sure how he felt about being thought of as cute, but as he though that, he felt another blush warm his cheeks. He cursed himself when it came to Shuichi.

 

Shuichi giggled again. He absolutely loved the reactions he could get out of Eiri. It was priceless.

 

“Ya know,” he said as he made his way back to the couch. “I talked to Mabel today.”

 

Eiri's mind blanked. “Who?”

 

“You know, she's married to my cousin Koji? He went to England for school and met her in his drawing class.”

 

Oh, that Mabel. They maybe saw her once a year, if that, and that was once too much. She was the most annoying creature on the face of the planet. She was clingy, way too happy and peppy and would not stop talking! He was glad he had been able to avoid her at the funeral.

 

He glanced down at Kira and noticed the three month old had fallen asleep. Deciding he was done for the night, Eiri picked his son up and laid him against his shoulder. Standing up, he walked to the carrier as Shuichi rambled on about how his cousin had been unsure if he wanted to go to England in the first place because he had just proposed to his high school sweetheart, but then he caught her cheating on him with his best friend and the next day he accepted the full scholarship he had been offered to the university.

 

Eiri sighed. How Shuichi could carry on one sided, long winded conversations like that was beyond him.

 

“Anyway,” Shuichi was saying, “…what was I talking about?”

 

Eiri sighed heavily, shaking his head as he straightened. Idiot, he thought.

 

“Oh, yeah! You know Mabel is eight months pregnant, right?”

 

Now that was scary. He was not sure if the world was ready for another Mabel.

 

What he really wanted to know was what the hell Cousin Koji had seen in Mabel and how the hell he put up with her, but then again everybody asked the same thing about Shuichi and him. Hell, he asked himself that same question.

 

He glanced at Kira asleep in the carrier, at Keitaro and Kane on the couch and finally at his husband who was still rambling on at a million miles an hour and he knew. It was not something he could put into words, or even fathom at a conscious level. But as annoying as Shuichi could be, he could not picture his life without him. As corny as it sounded, Shuichi completed him.

Eiri blinked, startled at his own thoughts. That really was cheesy, but it was the truth. Without Shuichi he would revert back to what he had been before the brat came barging into his life and that was not something he wanted. It used to be a dull and pointless existence.

 

Shuichi's laughter snapped him out of his retrieve. “She said she would much rather be pregnant then do that!”

 

“Do what?” He had missed something, not that that was anything new.

 

Shuichi's laughter vanished with a disgusted sigh. He clucked his tongue in disappointment. “You weren't listening!” he accused.

Eiri crossed his arms over his chest and gave him a look.

 

“I was saying that Mabel asked me how I was able to lose all the weight I gained during my pregnancies.”

 

“Oh,” Eiri snorted, dropping his arms.

 

Shuichi stood up, setting his notebook on the table and crossed the room towards his husband. Curling his arms around Eiri's neck, he rose up on his tiptoes and pressed his body against the warmth of his husband in perfect alignment. He laid his cheek against Eiri's chest and heard the muffled “thump-thump” of his lover's heart. Warmth spread through him and a smile crossed his face. He sighed happily, closing his eyes.

 

Eiri chuckled and wrapped his arms around his brat loosely, but possessively. “You tell her you lost all the weight by having hot, steamy, passionate sex with your drop dead gorgeous husband?” he teased.

 

“Eiri!” Shuichi cried, his face blazing. He pulled away from the men enough to slap his chest lightly.

 

Eiri chuckled.

 

Shuichi glanced over his shoulder at the boys.

 

“Don't worry,” Eiri assured his lover, pulling him back against him. The front of his body had gone cold. “They're asleep.”

 

“You're such a jerk.”

 

“I know.”

 

Shuichi sighed in contentment and hugged his husband. “I told her that with the twins, the weight kinda…melted off. I didn't do much of anything except go to the gym for my regular sessions. Then with Kira, it was a little harder to lose the weight.” He lifted his head and glared his Eiri angrily. “I still haven't forgiven you for that.”

 

Eiri snorted. “It worked, didn't it?”

 

“Yeah, well,” Shuichi admitted slowly, picking at some imaginary lint on Eiri's shirt. “But still! I mean a high protein diet along with a rigorous two hour full body workout session with that, that boot camp dude a day?” Shuichi shuddered. “I am never eating eggs again for as long as a live!”

 

Eiri chuckled, grinning.

 

“I mean, I told her what I ate. Ya know, chicken, turkey, lean meats and beef, fish and egg whites…and then I had to do all sorts of chest, bicep, tricep, leg, shoulder, back and especially abdominal exercises that nearly killed me and she said she's rather stay pregnant and I said I'd rather eat eggs and pasta everyday for the rest of my life and be bossed around by that drill instructor wannabe who always looked ready to pop a vein then go through go another pregnancy.” His train of thought stopped dead as he realized what it was that just came out of his mouth. Never say never, he thought as he mentally berated himself.

 

Eiri tensed at Shuichi's words. “I think it's a little too early to be making decisions like that Shu-chan. You said the same thing after Keitaro and Kane were born, remember?”

 

Eiri's words shook him out of his musings. Shuichi dropped his brows in confusion. What was he saying? His heart began pounding hard in anticipation. He stepped out of Eiri's arms far enough so he could stare into Eiri' golden hazel eyes as he tried to decipher the meaning behind those cryptic words. The uncertainty soon melted away replaced by a soft wonder and amazement. “You want another baby,” he whispered in surprise.

 

Blushing, Eiri broke their gaze. “I have no idea what you're talking about,” he muttered in embarrassment.

 

Giggling, Shuichi clasped his arms around Eiri's neck and rose up on his toes, pressing their lips together. He pulled away, still grinning. With a giggle, he walked back to the couch with a little skip in his step, grabbing his notebook on the way. He hugged it to his chest as he sat down. “You do!” he pressed lightly. “You want another baby!” Shuichi's laughter faded and a serious expression came over his face. He felt so relieved and a little apprehensive at the same time.

 

Eiri grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest, staring out the living room window, feeling his face grow warm. He really did not like that Shuichi could do this to him so easily.

 

“Do you, Eiri? What another baby?” Shuichi asked in all seriousness as he stared down at his lap. He lifted his head and studied his husband's profile.

 

Eiri fidgeted, his eye twitching. God, he needed a cigarette.

 

“Eiri?”

 

Sighing, Eiri turned to face his husband, staring deeply into those exotic purple eyes. “Maybe,” he admitted, melting under those intense, hypnotic eyes.

 

A gentle smile fluttered across Shuichi's lips and a twitch quivered in his belly.

 

“I wouldn't mind a…daughter.” Eiri looked away; his face blushed crimson as this admission.

 

Shuichi's eyes widened in shock and surprise. “A d-daughter?” he cried out in astonishment, forgetting the state of agitation in his stomach. Knowing that his husband wanted another child made him even guiltier for keeping quiet, but that was why he had to remain passive about this. He did not want to get Eiri's hopes up.

 

Eiri shrugged, trying for nonchalant, but Shuichi knew. He could see it in his eyes, in the determined set of his jaw, the way he held his shoulders and even in his stance. It was not no big deal. Eiri really wanted a little girl. Shuichi could not stop the smile that spread across his face.

 

The smile slipped off as he sighed and sat back. Shuichi really did not think he was ready to have another baby. “But,” Shuichi continued out loud.

 

Eiri snapped his eyes towards his husband, waiting with batted breathe.

 

“I don't think it's an impossibility.” He thought about the box silently waiting in his bag. It's definitely not an impossibility, he thought.

 

A smile lit Eiri's face.

 

Shuichi lifted his eyes and met his husband's gaze.

 

Eiri swallowed the space between them and sat himself down on the arm of the couch. He tapped Shuichi's head up with a finger under his chin. He lowered his head until his lips were a hairs breath away from Shuichi's. “Thank you, Shu-chan,” he breathed into his lover's mouth. His mouth descended and brushed across Shuichi's.

 

Shuichi's eyes closed of their own volition. A shudder raced along his spine. When he felt Eiri pull away, he sighed dreamily and touched his tingling lips. He heard Eiri chuckle. A blush splashed across Shuichi's cheeks. His eyes fluttered open. He stared at his husband in awe, licking his lips. He still tasted Eiri on him.

 

“I think it'd be nice to have a girl in the house,” Eiri was saying.

 

It was all Greek to Shuichi. Nothing Eiri was saying made any sense at the moment. He just stared at his husband, elf-struck.

 

Eiri reached out and cupped his hypnotized husband's cheek. Shuichi tipped his head, closing his eyes with a sigh as he savored his husband's warm touch.

 

With a sly look on his face, Eiri leaned forward and whispered in Shuichi's ear, “Because you don't count.”

 

Shuichi shuddered as he felt Eiri's breathe against his ear, but then he froze as his husbands words sunk in. His eyes popped open and his head snapped up. He slapped a hand hard across Eiri's chest. “Jerk!”

 

Eiri chuckled, grinning mischievously. He stood up and rubbed his chest. It was the same spot where Shuichi hit him before.

 

Snorting in disgust, Shuichi folded his knees underneath him and settled into the corner of the couch. He pulled out the pen with his chewed up cap that was clipped onto the cover and opened his notebook, searching for the song he had been working on during the trip up from Nara. Like the one he wrote for Desert Star, this one was turning out to be dark and depressing.

 

Eiri meanwhile walked back over to the carrier and gently picked up Kira. “I'm going to put the boys to bed,” he told Shuichi as he laid his son against his shoulder.

 

“Uh, huh,” Shuichi said distractedly, a frown on his face.

 

“Shu?” Eiri called.

 

Shuichi blinked, tearing his eyes from his notebook. “Huh?”

 

“I'm putting the boys to bed.”

 

“Oh!” Shuichi set his notebook down on the couch besides him and held out his arms. “Bring me my baby!”

 

Eiri carried Kira to Shuichi.

 

“Oh!” Shuichi cooed, cradling his baby boy. He planted a multitude of kisses on his soft cheek. “He's so cute!” He ran a finger lightly across Kira's chubby cheek, smiling dreamily.

 

“Come on, Shu.”

 

“Aw!” Shuichi whined as he handed over his son.

 

“You're an idiot.”

 

Shuichi snorted. “So are you,” he said as he picked up his notebook and reseated himself on the couch.

 

Eiri looked at his lover with a raised eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

 

“If I'm an idiot then so are you because you fell in love with me, an idiot.” He grinned at his logic. “See?”

 

Eiri cocked an eyebrow. With a snort, he shook his head and started towards the stairs.

 

Giggling, Shuichi held his notebook away from his face at arms length and tried to read its blurred print through squinted eyes. With a disgusted, irritated sigh, he stared over the top of the pad at his bag sitting forlornly on the other side of the room. In order to work on the song, that would mean having to get back up and walk all the way across the living to his bag and fetch his glasses which were buried somewhere in said bag. He frankly did not have the patience or energy to do such a menial task right now. It was getting pretty late. He was exhausted and his stomach seemed to be rebelling against the rice and stir-fry they had for dinner.

 

[A sly grin crept onto Kei's face. “So,” he asked, “any plans for more children?”]

 

Laying the notebook in his lap, Shuichi sighed heavily and stared at his bag from across the room as he lost himself in thought. He had been trying to ignore it, but after what his cousin said at the funeral…

 

*

 

(Present)

 

There was no proof that he was pregnant. It was just a suspicion he had. It is not as if he did not want to have another child with Eiri. It was just that so much was going on. He had a book to finish, had a new baby at home and he had the opportunity to record a new song, his first in over 6 years. Having a baby right now would be really inconvenient, but…

 

But what if he was? Then what?

 

Then things were going to get a bit more complicated from here on out. As if he needed anymore stress in his life.

 

*

 

“I think this's it,” Shuichi heard Maiko say a little while later.

 

Snapping out of his thoughts, Shuichi glanced out the window and spotted a stone building with vertical slotted windows looming in the distance. The single story structure had a glass dome over what he assumed must be the atrium. A horseshoe shaped drive swept past a glass enclosed entrance with a double set of solid hardwood doors. A large black carriage lamp hung over the entrance. A well maintained lawn and garden surrounded the crematorium. Large, black letters spelled out “Forest lawn Crematorium” on the stone façade to the left of the front doors.

 

The bus slowed and turned into the drive, bouncing over the curb, jostling the passengers. As they followed the hearse up the curved driveway, Shuichi felt a sudden tightness in his chest and an ache in his heart.

 

This was it. Tears stun his eyes and a lump formed in his throat as the bus slowed to a stop in front of the crematorium.

 

*

 

As they filed off the bus, Shuichi felt cold despite the sweltering heat of the mid-afternoon sun pressing down around them.

 

He watched as if from a distance as the back of the hearse was swung open by the same man from earlier and the six pallbearers stepped forward to grab the wooden box as it was slid out of the dark cavern of the hearse.

 

Holding the coffin securely between them, the six men marched towards the waiting stretcher that a couple of the staff members had wheeled out of the crematorium as soon as the bus had pulled up. Each stepped at the same time and walked at the same speed. Either side mirrored the other perfectly. It was done with military precision and perfection. Once the six pallbearers were situated around the stretcher, three on each side, they simultaneously, without breaking or loosening their hold, turned so that they were facing each other over the lid of the coffin. They had grim expressions on their faces. As one, they lowered the coffin down onto the stretcher and then turned with a snap to face the crematorium.

 

A man that could not be any taller than Fujisaki appeared out of nowhere. He had dark narrow eyes that made it appear as if he were squinting and had a pinched face. If it was not for the wrinkles around his mouth and eyes, he would look no older than Shuichi. The man had short cropped thinning black hair that was slicked back off his forehead and showed off his receding hairline to perfection. His straight lined black suit with gold cufflinks and starched, crisp white button up shirt looked like it cost more than what his parents made in a year. Hell, it looked like it cost more than most of the suits Eiri and he had purchased over the years. His shiny black shoes clicked as he strode down the front walk towards them.

 

He bowed in greeting. “Good afternoon. I am Hojo Ryosuke. Manager of the Forest Lawn Crematorium. Welcome. We at Forest Lawn Crematorium want to convey our heart felt apologies and express our deepest sympathies for your loss.”

 

Shuichi saw his grandmother bow her head at the man's kind words. To him, the speech sounded rehearsed and phony. There was no real emotion behind it. It was most likely a speech he said several times a day, but it was still appreciated.

 

“Now if you will follow me?”

 

Two uniformed staff members that Shuichi recognized as the same two who brought out the stretcher stepped out of the shadows and opened the doors for the group.

 

First Hojo Ryosuke, followed by the coffin on the stretcher pulled by the six pallbearers, then the immediate family with everyone else pulling up the rear walked in an orderly fashion into the crematorium.

 

They were greeted with a cool blast of air that sharply contrasted with the blaring heat outside, but Shuichi did not feel the difference. He followed as they were led through the lobby into the atrium and up a ramp and down one hallway and then another, past several Tatami rooms until they reached the ovens in the back. He had taken in nothing as they walked through the beautiful building with its breathtaking hand painted murals, the mixture of traditional and modern architecture, gold leaf, marble, hand carved wood and its open, airy feeling. It was like much of the bus ride here, one giant blur.

 

They filed into the cremation room past fourteen ovens, which were all in use. The loves ones of Todono Ranmaru gathered around the last oven. A ceramic tongue was sticking out of the oven from a yawning mouth. Shuichi giggled softly at the comparison, which quickly turned into a sob.

 

Clamping a hand over his mouth, he watched through tear blurred eyes as the stretcher was wheeled up to the platform, lying end to end. Without much ceremony, the wooden box was pushed from the stretcher, onto the platform and into the oven. The door clanged shut after it.

 

He was not sure when it started, but as Shuichi bowed deeply towards the oven in farewell, he found himself quietly sobbing. His shoulders shook lightly.

 

Straightening, he stared blankly at the oven, his tears coursing down his cheeks. People began filing out of the room past him. A few hugged him, some patted his shoulder or back in passing. His mother kissed him lightly on the cheek, but Shuichi was unaware of the sympathetic looks and the quiet muffled sobs from the other attendants. The only thing he was aware of was the thought that kept repeating itself over and over in his head.

 

Grandpa is gone and he is never coming back.

 

Grandpa is gone and he is never coming back.

 

Grandpa is gone and he is never coming back.

 

Grandpa is gone and he is never coming back.

 

A lone tear rolled down his cheek.

 

At a noise behind him, he quickly wiped his damp cheeks and looked over his shoulder. His sister and his son were watching him from the doorway of the room. Maiko was holding Kane's right hand as the five year old sucked on his left thumb, watching him with open curiosity. With a small smile, Shuichi brushed away the last of his tears and crossed the room towards them.

 

It was time to go home.

 

***