Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Because of You ❯ chapter 13 ( Chapter 13 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

“Because of You”
Sequel to: “This I Promise You”
Written by: Chocho
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Summary: A new baby. An autobiography. A funeral. A pregnancy. A shocking discovery and a woman with a grudge.
Chapter summary: Eiri and Shuichi get five minutes alone.
Warning: Angst, m-preg, language, sex
 
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Chapter 13
 
The end of August brought with it warm days and cool nights. As Shuichi stepped out of the house and onto the porch, he shivered as a chill raced up his spine. He closed the shoji door behind him. Crossing the porch, he sat down besides his husband, letting his legs dangle off the porch and set the baby monitor next to him. He could hear Kira's soft snores filtering over the speaker. Leaning back on his hands, he swung his legs alternately. His feet hit the side of the porch with a “thump-thump”. Sounds of Keitaro and Kane's laughter and splashing in the bathtub floated out of the open bathroom window above them. He hoped their rowdy antics did not wake Kira up who had just fallen asleep.
 
“Ow!” Shuichi jumped up and rubbed his sore thigh, shooting Eiri an angry glare. “What was that for?” he demanded, angry tears prickling his eyes.
 
Eiri glared right back at him. “Stop it.”
 
“Stop what? I'm not doing anything!” Shuichi leaned back and started swinging his feet once again. “Jerk,” he muttered under his breath.
 
Growling softly, Eiri's foot shot out, nailing Shuichi's leg.
 
“Ow! Bastard! That fucking hurt!”
 
“Then stop it. It's frigging annoying.”
 
“Sor-ry,” Shuichi mumbled, massaging his leg.
 
A cheer erupted from the house. Shuichi glanced over his shoulder at the house. His parents were watching a baseball game and they tended to get a little carried away.
 
Turning back around, he glanced at Eiri's profile. That was the most his husband had said to him in the twenty-four hours since Shuichi had taken the pregnancy test. Shuichi knew his husband wanted another child, but he had not known Eiri had had his hopes up so high.
 
Eiri had not given up all hope yet. “It takes, what, a minimum of eight days after conception to get a positive reading?” he had asked.
 
“I…guess.”
 
“Then we'll wait a few more days and try again.”
 
Shuichi had been unable to stop himself from asking, “But what if we get the same answer?”
 
“Keep trying. Practice makes perfect.”
 
“Eiri.”
 
“Can't expect to pass a test if you don't study.”
 
Shuichi found himself blushing at the hidden meaning behind that sentence.
 
Eiri had tried to be optimistic, but Shuichi knew his husband better than anyone and knew he was disappointed that they were not pregnant. Shuichi had to be honest. He was just as upset, which was a little surprising because he had been the one against having another baby so soon anyway.
But what hurt the most was that it felt as if he had let Eiri down somehow. The guilt he felt over failing his husband was eating him up inside. If Eiri was happy then he was happy and if having another child was what would make Eiri content, then who was he to trample his husband's happiness, especially if he himself admitted just the other night that it was not an impossibility?
 
“Eiri?” Shuichi called timidly.
 
“Hm.”
 
“Do…Do you…hate me?” He almost could not get the words out.
 
Eiri glared at him through narrowed eyes. His lips were pursed into a thin line. “…What kind of stupid asinine question is that?” he snapped.
 
“Well,” Shuichi drawled. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and drew his legs up, sitting Indian style. Bowing his head, he stared at his clasped hands in his lap. “I know how much you want a daughter…”
 
“Yeah,” Eiri said carefully.
 
Shuichi's vision blurred behind a sting of tears. “But now I'm sorta ruining things!” he sobbed.
 
Eiri blinked slowly. “Huh?” This came out flat.
 
Shuichi turned a face flooded with tears towards Eiri. “We're not pregnant because of me!”
 
“…You.”
 
“Yes.”
 
“…And this is your fault how?”
 
“Because I'm the one who didn't want a baby!” he wailed, tears pouring down his flushed face.
 
Eiri sighed. He should have known.
 
Sniffling, Shuichi rubbed his eyes and then swept the tear tracks away with the heel of his hands. He hiccup-sobbed. Dropping his legs, he ignored the ache and prickling pain jolting through them and twisted his body around so that he was facing his husband on his knees. He searched Eiri's face, trying to get to understand. “Don't you see?” he cried. “This is all my fault! If I had not been against having a baby, then I might even be pregnant right now! Then you wouldn't hate me and be so miserable!”
 
“Why you egotistical, self-centered brat!”
 
“Huh?” Shuichi blinked. “Eiri?” He gazed at his husband in surprise and confusion.
 
As Shuichi was speaking, Eiri found his irritation growing until it spilled over. “Not everything is about you!” he roared.
 
“But-!”
 
Eiri grabbed Shuichi's face and sandwiched it between his hands. He brought their faces together and hissed. “Having a baby is like playing the lottery. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. It has nothing to do with whether you want one or not!”
 
“But-!”
 
“No, buts, Shuichi,” he growled. Suddenly his face softened and his grip on Shuichi's face eased up. With his thumb, he brushed away the stray tear that trickled down his younger husband's face. He smiled gently. “Yes, I'm feeling…a little down,” he decided upon. “It's disappointing when…it's a…When you get your hopes up only to have them dashed, it's…it sucks.”
 
It was not said very eloquent, especially with him being a writer, but spoken word was not his forte, especially when he was trying to comfort his husband. But no matter how much of a bumbler he may be at all this mushy stuff, Shuichi always seemed to be able to see right through to the heart of him. He could always understand what he was trying to convey.
 
Shuichi nodded.
 
Eiri pulled Shuichi a little roughly to him, embracing him within his iron grip. He felt Shuichi wrap his arms around him and climb onto his lap, straddling him. Eiri pulled Shuichi closer so they were chest to chest.
 
Everywhere their bodies touched was on fire.
 
“Yes, I want to have another child with you,” Eiri was saying. “And just because you're not ready does not mean that I hate you. Okay?”
 
Shuichi nodded against Eiri's shoulder, tightening his grip.
 
“I've told you this countless times in countless ways, Shu-chan.”
 
Warmth spread through Shuichi at this nickname.
 
“I can never…” Eiri paused as the words became lodged in his throat. He tried again. “I don't hate you. I can't ever hate you. I…”
 
Unable to say it out loud, he cupped the back of Shuichi's head, brought his lips to his ear and whispered gently.
 
Shuichi took a shuttered breath and shivered as he felt Eiri's breath against his ear. His grip in his husband tightly unconsciously.
 
Taking a deep breath in through his nose, Shuichi stood up on his knees and brought his lips to Eiri's ear just like he had done and whispered back, “I love you, too.”
 
He hugged Eiri. He loved the feeling of being in his arms.
 
“Besides,” Eiri said, “the test could have been wrong.”
 
Shuichi frowned. He pulled away and stared at his husband, searching his face for the tiniest hint of what he meant, but that was like trying to keep an ice cube from melting on the sun. “Wha? But, Eiri, the test-!”
 
Eiri shook his head. “Just humor me, okay?”
 
Shuichi was terribly confused, but he loved and trusted Eiri, so he nodded.
 
With a small smile, Eiri placed a hand over Shuichi's stomach. Shuichi lowered himself down into Eiri's lap and laid his hand over his husband's.
 
Eiri lifted his head, raising his eyes from their joined hands over Shuichi's belly to his face. What he saw brought a gentle, soft smile and a light blush (for which he cursed himself for yet again). Shuichi was looking at him with such utter trust and adoration.
 
With his other hand, he cupped the side of Shuichi's face.
 
“Can you honestly say that you're not pregnant? That you don't feel…different?”
 
Shuichi searched Eiri's face then dropped his gaze to their hands.
 
“Remember when you were pregnant with Kira?”
 
A smile came to Shuichi's face. Lifting his head, he grinned at his husband and nodded. He did remember and not because he had given birth to his son only three months ago. From the very beginning he had known. He could not explain it, but he had had this strong feeling that he had not been able to shake. Then he had taken a pregnancy test and discovered his intuition had been right.
 
Eiri returned Shuichi's smile and lowered his head. Their lips met briefly, over lapping. The kiss was alternately shallow, with their tongues flickering and teasing each other, and deep, with their tongues executing a passionate, exotic dance.
 
Shuichi clutched Eiri's shirt to keep him rooted as their kisses grew into one long sensuous embrace.
 
Oniisan!”
 
The lovers flew apart, feeling like children whose was just caught with their hand in the cookie jar as they tried to catch their breaths and calm their racing hearts.
 
Eiri glanced over Shuichi shoulder and scowled, angry at being interrupted. Shuichi followed his husband's gaze and blushed when he saw Maiko watching them with a twinkle in her eye and a mischievous smile on her face from the back doorway. His face grew warm as he realized they had had an audience. Trying to hide his red face, Shuichi snuggled against his husband, his body heat protecting him against the chilly night air.
 
Oniisan, your boys are making a mess in the bathroom,” his sister informed him.
 
Shuichi groaned. “Damn,” he muttered. Sighing, he sat back and used Eiri's shoulders as leverage as he got to his feet. He tried to mask the grimace that crossed his face as he his leg protested. But it did not go entirely unnoticed.
 
Shuichi walked across the porch and into the house. As he passed Maiko, she whispered, “Nice going, Big Brother,” and winked with a wide toothy grin.
 
Shuichi's face flamed red hot in embarrassment. “Maiko!”
 
She just giggled.
 
Eiri watched his love vanish into the house. He would make sure Shuichi called Dr. Ohtani in the morning, whether he wanted to or not. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, something just was not right. Standing up, he grabbed the baby monitor and walked out in the yard and glanced back up at the house. “Time to get out of the tub,” he called up to his sons. “Now!”
 
A chorus of groans rose up.
 
“Come on!”
 
“Just a little longer?” pleaded Kane who was standing naked and dripping wet in front of the window.
 
“No,” Eiri said, shaking his head. “Time to get out. You've been in there long enough.”
 
“Daddy!” the boy whined.
 
“Kane.”
 
“Ah!”
 
Otokasan is coming up right now and I'll be up in a bit.”
 
“Daddy,” called a second voice out the window.
 
“What?”
 
“Can, can we watch, uhm…Could we watch a movie?” Keitaro asked timidly.
 
“We'll see, but you'll have to get out of the tub first.”
 
“Okay!” the older twin said brightly.
 
Both boys suddenly vanished from the window.
 
“'Kasan! Daddy said we could watch a movie!” he heard Kane cry.
 
With a chuckle, Eiri shook his head and headed towards the house. As he passed his sister-in-law who was still hiding the shadows of the back doorway she said to him, “You're such a good Daddy.”
 
Eiri was thankful it was dark. “Yeah, well, don't tell anybody. It'd ruin my reputation.”
 
Maiko giggled as she followed him inside the house, shutting and locking the door behind her.
 
***