Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Charisma, Maybe ❯ I love you, you idiot ( Chapter 8 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]
Chapter Title: I love you, you idiot

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I can feel the blood pulsing in my face, my breath hitching in my throat. It doesn’t help that the person in front of me is being so mind numbingly stupid. “Shindou-san, I like you. A lot.” A lot doesn’t even begin to describe how I have been feeling, but it’s all I can bring myself to say at the moment.

“Uh, you do?” He’s scratching the back of his head, obviously confused by the situation. I merely nod, deciding that saying anything else might be too much for his pea brain to handle. “Why would you like me?”

I nearly fall over, because I don’t like thinking about what it is I like about him. “Well, you’re uh cute, and fun, and well most of the time you’re not that bad… and well, it’s complicated!” I shout the last part out, eyes closed, really, really not wanting to make eye contact with him.

I hear him chuckle nervously, scratching his chin, looking off somewhere. “Fujisaki-kun, this wouldn’t have anything to do with that kiss, would it?” I nod, which only causes him to get more nervous. “You do know that was a joke, right? I mean, I thought it was clear that it was a joke myself.”

I straighten up at this, and look him squarely in the eye. “You jerk, you kissed me, did a slutty dance with me and well, there were a lot of other things.” I know I must be beet red by now, but I don’t care. Certain things needed to be said, and if not now, then never.

“Fujisaki, I was just playing. Jeez, I figured you were mature enough to know the difference.” I will kill him. I swear, I’m going to kill him. Of course, idiot boy can’t tell how angry I am, so he decides to twist the knife further. “I mean, you’re what, eighteen, nineteen now?”

It’s really hard for me to decide what offended me more: the fact that he can’t remember my age, or the fact that he has once again called me a child. Well, I guess in the long run it doesn’t matter, because either way, I’m pissed off beyond mortal comprehension.

I reach behind him and open the door, I then proceed to push him out. “Calm down, Fujisaki! Can’t we be reasonable about this?” He is struggling against me and while he’d normally win based on sheer strength, my fury has given me incredible power. Well in comparison to the person I want to remove from my lovely abode at the moment.

“Be reasonable you say? Ha! You should have thought about that before you toyed around with my feelings!” With one final push I have him shoved out the door. I hurry to slam it shut and lock him out, when he somehow wedges his body into the door frame.

“Fujisaki, I’m sorry! I really wasn’t thinking! Please, let me explain!” He sounds desperate, like he sincerely means it, but I refuse to give in and listen. Not after what he has put me through.

“Well, maybe next time you’ll think before you seduce someone!” I shout as I finally slam the door shut. I quickly slide the dead bolt into place, along with several other locking mechanisms. I can hear him pounding on the door, shouting out my name. I wait, thinking for sure that he will go away. Thirty minutes go by, then an hour. Just as I was about to break down and open the door, just to scream back at him, mind you, the noise stops.

I sigh in relief and decide to turn in early, so that I have plenty of time to cry myself to sleep. I can already feel the lovely water works starting. I enter my bedroom and go to my dresser yet again, this time with the intention of selecting some pajamas, when I see a dark, sinister shadow in my window.

I slowly creep over to window and cautiously draw the curtains aside. There was Shuichi, his face, chest and the palms of his hands pressed up against the window. Apparently, the idiot had climbed the fire escape. “Let me in.” Came his muffled voice as he pressed up against the window. “Do it now or else I’ll break the window!” He demanded, pounding his fists against the glass.

Sighing I opened the window, deciding that it was better to tolerate him, than to let him accidentally cut himself and die of blood loss. I stepped out of the way as he fell face forward into my apartment. He lay there a few minutes, groaning as if the fall had hurt him. Which was fortunate as it gave me enough time to quickly and discreetly wipe away the tears that had been threatening to form.

Normally I’d turn away in disgust, except, one of his hands has chosen this moment to wrap it’s self around my ankle. “Fujisaki, please hear me out.” He gives me his patented puppy dog look and against my better judgment, I find myself giving in to him.

“Fine, just let go of my ankle.” He does so and slithers towards my bed, quite quickly I may add. Actually, he’s already sitting on the edge and pats the spot next to him, obviously wanting me to sit there. I choose the corner farthest away from him instead. I think this has probably hurt his feelings, but I can’t be sure as I am refusing to look at him for the moment.

“Fujisaki, I’m really sorry if I had been giving you the wrong impression. It’s just that I really thought you didn’t like me.”

My annoyance is growing, even as he speaks, though it’s not all the directed towards him. “I don’t see how you could have no clue considering that I actually kissed you back the first time you kissed me. And just for the record, I didn‘t think you actually liked me back. I got this disgusting crush all on my own.”

He chuckled, sounding a little sad. “That’s right, you normally don’t like guys, do you?”

I sigh, aggravated at the obvious lack of understanding between us. “Listen, this has nothing to do with the whole gay thing. You could be a girl and I’d still be disgusted.” There’s silence for a moment and I think I might have hurt his feelings.

Then he opens his mouth and dispels that theory. “Oh, you’re asexual?” I turn around slowly and glare at him. I then grab him by his shirt collar and start to shake him violently.

“NO!! You idiot! It’s because I hate you! I abhor you, despise you, am repulsed by you and generally can’t stand you!!” I keep shaking him like this for a while, coming up with all sorts of ways to describe how much he irritates me, until I’m too tired to continue. And based on how dizzy he looks, it seems I stopped just in time. I let go of him and he drops back onto the mattress and lays there for a while.

Finally, after he seems to have regained some of his bearings, what little he had, Shuichi leans up on one of his elbows and pouts at me. “You could have said it nicer.”

“I’m tired of being nice. Everything has to be spelled out for you. It’s like you have no brain. And when you do show signs of intelligence, it’s always creepy and weird.”

“Why would it be creepy and weird for me to act smart? I’m not that big a flake, am I?” He shakes his head suddenly. “Never mind, don’t answer that.” Once again there was silence as we both seemed to realize how complicated things were. “So, if you hate me so much, why do you have a crush on me, or what ever this is?”

“How the hell should I know? There’s no logical explanation as to why I should be feeling this way towards you of all people. I’m supposed to be smarter than all those other people who like you…” I muttered bitterly.

“Well, did it ever occur to you that maybe I’m not that bad?” There was a cold edge to his voice that surprised me. “I know I’m stupid, loud and annoying, I really do. And I can be selfish, stubborn and naïve. But I do try to be nice and decent to others most of the time. Even you.”

There’s hurt and anger in his eyes and I find myself stunned. “Like you’re any great prize either! All you ever do is act like some bitchy little upper class snob! You may be Seguchi-san’s cousin, but at least he pretends to be nice! You don’t even try to hide how little you really think of everyone!”

He’s shouting now and I want to say something, anything, to shut him up. I want to say that it’s not true, or that rather, I have changed, but I can’t. Getting told by someone you’re in love with that you’re too stuck up for your own good hurts a little too much. Suddenly, I realize things are quiet again and he’s standing, his back to me, fists clenched.

I reach out to him carefully. “Shindou-san, I-” But, just as my hand barely grazes his, it’s slapped away.

“Oh shut the fuck up! I don’t really care anymore! I don’t know why I even came here! I didn’t even really care about the whole Maiko thing!” He’s still shouting, but now, he’s being confusing instead of hurtful. “I just felt so out of the whole godamned loop… We’ve been working together for a long time now and I don’t even know anything about you… I just wanted to know more about you… heh, I’m so stupid.” He laughed bitterly, shaking a little. He sounds like he’s crying and I want to reach out and… Well, I don’t know what happens after that, alright? The movies make it look much easier than it really is.

“I didn’t need to know how stupid I was… How useless I was. I know how badly I failed Yuki, the last thing I need is for you of all people to remind me of that…” Next thing I know, he’s running out the door, causing the whole apartment to shake with his footfalls. Then there is the thunderous slam of a door and I can only assume that he is gone.

I sit there, even more stunned than ever before. My first thought is that it’s just like him to cause so much drama with a single visit. My second thought is that maybe he’s still hurting over Yuki-sensei. But, the third and most prominent thought is this: you suck at love confessions, Suguru Fujisaki.
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To Be Continued….

Man, what was that little outburst of Shu’s about? How will this affect Suguru’s already hectic life?

Yeah, Shuichi did spaz. But, that’s honestly the way he is. Plus, even though I’ve been focusing on Suggy, Shuichi is actually going through quite a bit emotionally right now. Hell, I doubt he even understands what his little out burst was about.