Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Ryuichi's Love ❯ Decisions ( Chapter 11 )

Ryuichi's Love

By Kitty-kat =^.^=

Chapter 11: Decisions

Uuragiru tame ni umaretekita

Kuchibiru wo togisumase

Muimi na rikutsu ni mata muragaru

Orokashisa ni predilection

-Predilection

Dark as the night and cold as the wind was his heart. Everything ended in nothingness. All was nothing. Nothing was all.

"I have nothing…"

A handsome young man was staring at the sky while he lay against a wall hid between shadows. There was intense sadness in his eyes and extreme depression reflected on his face. At that moment he felt older than he was; he felt all the years were longer than they were.

"So many years of loneliness and still I'm alone. Old and alone."

The whispering voice was filled with anguish and bitterness. His throat sounded sore because of the pain he was holding back and swallowing to avoid tears from falling.

"I'm tired, so tired. I want nothing now. All I ever wanted was for him to love me, but now…all I want is…" He swallows once again. "Hope you find your happiness Shindo-san."

He sighed.

"I've made my decision."

~*~

Inside Yuki's apartment two young men argue while another listened behind the door with hopes that his brother will fix his problems with Shuichi so he could have a chance with his dear Sakuma-san.

"Make up with him Eiri-san. You're such a baka." He murmured to himself and then kept listening.

"I swear Yuki, I have NOTHING with Sakuma-san! Yes, he invited me to live with him but not as a couple. It was because I had no place to stay and he feels lonely."

"Oh please, he's totally crush on you and you know it."

"Yes I do, but I felt bad for him. He lives all alone and has no one."

"Then go and give him comfort. It's not like I care."

"Yuki…you have no right to say a word to me. You finish me off in the first place and didn't even had the guts to face me and tell me yourself! You had to send your brother to tell me the news- so pathetic! I though a lot more of you, but you've show me how stupid you are!"

"If that was all you wanted to tell me, the door is open. I'm sick of your face! Get out!"

"If you're so sick of me then tell me why you enter that restaurant, and why you make a scene? Everyone was looking!"

"I don't care. I don't care anymore if the entire world knows I have a stupid brat like you as my lover- it's my life."

"But…you're getting married."

Tatsuha was all hysterical with how the whole situation was turning- exactly the way he didn't wanted it. But while he tried to hear the end of the argument the doorbell ring.

"Grrrrrrrr! Who the heck???"

He ran to the door feeling angry with the unknown visitor, so after he opened he quickly yelled.

"Whatta ya want???" After his scream he saw three confused faces staring at him funnily. "Ayaka!" He turned pale without knowing what to do. 'Should I let her in? It will be worst! This is not my day!!! At this rate Shuichi will end up cuddling with my RYUICHIII!!!!' He begins to tear while he pulled his hair and the stares become even harder.

"Is Eiri-san home?" She plainly asked trying to ignore Tatsuha's weird behavior.

"Eiri? Eiri?" He begins to look from side to side wishing Eiri wasn't there at the moment- but he was.

"Yes."

"Well, he…Eiri is…" And then his brother came out of the room and found the three faces at the door. "Eiri!" He almost fainted.

"I see…she's finally here. Come on in." When he saw the three walk in he sharply burst out an order. "The rest of you out, including you Tatsuha."

"But-but." He begins.

"Out!"

~*~

can't get enough kotoba yori mo motto

don't let me down tashika ni misete hoshii

one more night suka ni kizutsuita

kimi ga mitsumeru me sono saki ni

- Predilection

Sakuma entered his lonely apartment and turned on the lights. After he got a look inside everything run through his head in a quick flashback. That same day he and Shuichi had been decorating the apartment and every single pillow, every single carpet, and every single furniture piece reminded him of his beloved pink haired boy.

"Shuichi…"

He could repeat in his mind every single event, every single smile and every tear Shindo-san dropped because of his loss. But now all those good memories were only pain in his heart, so he decided to take everything down and put it back in boxes.

~*~

Ayaka and Yuki were sitting net to each other. She was waiting for him to say something but he was silent and thoughtful. She tried to guess what he was thinking but she didn't knew him enough to tell, besides Yuki sometimes was an expressionless person.

"Eiri-san…I wanted to see you. I can't take it anymore. I need to know what you would do about us."

He was still quiet, drowning inside a whirlwind of confusion inside his heart. From that answer his future with Shuichi depended and deep down he knew he wanted to stay with the young singer. He also knew he asked him to wait in the room a few minutes ago and was sure he was probably listening.

"Eiri?"

He then stood up and said it. "I'm living with Shindo Shuichi. He's my lover and I want to keep it that way, so there's nothing to talk about."

Inside Yuki's bedroom Shuichi closed his eyes after hearing the answer the blonde gave his fiancée and didn't know if he should be glad or not. In a way he felt happy with the news but there was something deep in his heart hurting him. 'I'm sorry Ryuichi…'

~*~

hajimari sae

ushinawareta

owaranai geemu wo shiyou

- Predilection

It was morning already and Ryuichi was still awake closing the last boxes with his belongings. Everything was back in and his clothes were placed inside a suitcase.

After a warm bath he felt like new and since it was time for him to go to the studio he left to Tohma's office. Once inside he sat down seriously and looked the blonde in the eyes.

"I came to say goodbye. I'm retiring. I'm sorry about the trouble I will cause you with my decision but I already made up my mind about Nittle Grasper and my career. I don't want to be a singer anymore. I want to live a normal life from now on."

"Ryuichi? Are you playing another one of your games?"

"No game. That man you once knew is lost in the past. From now on Sakuma Ryuichi is no longer the playful idiot he used to be. I'm tired of people taking me as a joke and not as a real man. I'm grown up, so I'll act like it."

"No Kumagorou?"

"No. I'll return him to his original owner but for that I need to make a trip."

"Well, if there is nothing I can do to change your mind…but I really wished for this to work out. I though we left our troubles behind."

"Don't worry Tohma; I already forgive you. It's not about you and I, it's about me. I want to find myself and let go of the painful memories."

"If you ever decide to return, give me a call- you're always welcome here."

"Thanks. Say goodbye to Noriko for me." He turned around and then looked back to where Tohma was sitting. "Oh, do yourself a favor and try to be happy with Mika. You and I know Yuki is not for you. I really want you to be happy."

"Thanks for the advice; I'll do my best."

"Well…sayonara Tohma-san."

And with that the leading man of Nittle Grasper head his way to his new life away from the spotlight.

He step in front of the building and looked up to have a last glance at it. The brunette let out a sigh and then kept walking away like nothing was wrong at all.

'Goodbye Tohma, Noriko; goodbye to all and goodbye to you…Shuichi.'