Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ ...Aura of Destiny ❯ One-Shot

pre-warnings/notes: I'd like to say this is more 2x1 than 1x2, but that's for the reader to decide. Some bad language (F-word used once). OOC? I would not read this if I were easily offended.

This idea has been festering in my brain for a while, it's nice to actually let it out. My only note of real warning is "BWAHAHAHA!"

DISCLAIMER: I'm going to partially quote Sailor Moon Stupid (which was written by Kevin Bruner and made into a radio play by Laura). Gundam Wing and Characters are "brought to you by... BANDAI! THEY OWN EVERYTHING! FORGET IT! You CAN'T COMPETE! So just BUY THEIR STUFF!!!!"

Email me at yuna@inuyasha.nu if you'd like to take this fic and put it somewhere else. Otherwise taken will be dealt with painfully.

True Love from the Tops of Valleys in Snowy Mountains Surrounded by the Aura of Destiny

Or

Proof that I Can Not Make a Title Worth Remembering, Ever

written by Ivy/Ivy-hime/Elle Hazard/Whoever I am anymore

It was after Duo saved Heero from what may have potentially been a freak chopstick accident, that they had confessed their undying-ish love for each other. They were currently making their way up the stairs of the three-story mansion they had happened to be safe-housing in, to the bedroom.

It was on the oversized bed with 20 pillows, thick plush covers, marble bedposts, while they were liplocked, hands wandering, exploring, and he felt Heero's hard man-ness pressing against him, that Duo broke the kiss and raised himself on his elbows.

"Heero?," Duo asked tentatively.

Heero opened his eyes half-liddedly, "What?"

"No offense to you or anything, but..."

Heero opened his eyes fully and raised an eyebrow.

"This plot really bites."

Heero grunted, "And?"

Duo took this opening to complain incessantly, "Well look at this. Chopsticks? And what kind of fucked-up vocabulary includes 'undying-ish', 'safe-housing', 'half-liddedly'..."

Heero cut him off mid-complain, "Duo, it's 4:46 a.m. author time. It's surprising there's recognizable vocabulary at all."

"Man-ness???"

His messy-haired partner shrugged, "A cross between 'manhood' and 'maleness' apparently."

"Heero," Duo said dangerously, "just whose side are you on?"

Heero shrugged again, "It's not like we can do anything about it. We have no control beyond what the author gives us."

That said, he leaned in to continue the kiss they were sharing. Or, would have continued, if the idiot American hadn't jumped off the bed.

"That's it!," Duo said, standing in a Typical-Anime Victory Pose, "We need to fight for our rights! Think about it Heero! No more cliché and otherwise pointless existences! C'mon! I have a plan!"

And with that overly-exuberant use of exclamation marks, Duo dashed out of the room.

Heero looked less than thrilled, "Stupid Americans."

Duo decided that the best course of action would be to fight fire with fire. Or, as the case may have it, fight species with almost-the-same-kind-of species.

A letter arrived that day to the Straight-people Author Society Headquarters Facility Building. It stated Duo's situation and desperately begged for help.

A nameless person confronted a room of even more nameless persons, the letter in hand.

"Look at this! Those stupid dumb-people have made Duo gay! Again!"

"EEEWWWW!," chorused the group of nameless people.

"Now!" Said the leader of the nameless people, "What should we do about it?"

Everyone in the room raised their hands.

"Ooh, me, pick me!"

"I know, I know"

"Me, me! I know what to do! I know what to do!"

And countless other shouts filled the room.

The nameless people's leader pointed to someone random.

"I know! How about we send them a degrading flame pointing out how stupid and dumb they are for making the Gundam Pilots homos?"

"Good plan."

[Later, at the Yaoi Author Society Headquarters Facility Building]

A nameless person confronted a room of even more nameless persons, the flame in hand.

"Look at this! Those stupid dumb-people have sent us a flame! Again!"

"EEEWWWW!," chorused the group of nameless people.

"Now!" Said the leader of the nameless people, "What should we do about it?"

Everyone in the room raised their hands.

"Ooh, me, pick me!"

"I know, I know"

"Me, me! I know what to do! I know what to do!"

And countless other shouts filled the room.

The nameless people's leader pointed to someone random.

"I know! How about we post the flame up where everyone can see it and point at it, then laugh, all to mock their stupid dumbness?"

"Good plan."

Duo read the flame-mockery, obviously his plan had failed.

"Duo, you shouldn't waste time on something you can't accomplish," Heero whispered in his ear. He moved to nibble on his earlobe. Or, would have nibbled, if the idiot American hadn't jumped up from the chair.

"That's it!," Duo said, going into Typical-Anime Victory Pose number 2, "I should have known those AUTHORS wouldn't have done us any good. We need to rely on our own kind!"

Duo dashed out of the room, yelling "Power in numbers!," as he made his way down the hall.

Heero crossed his arms and reluctantly went to follow, but not before he kicked Duo's chair across the room.

The large auditorium was filled with bishounen. Yes, a wonderful place. Though the bathrooms, and backrooms, and janitorial closets were where all of the fun was. Mostly consisting of making out and post-making out activities, of the yaoi kind. Of course these boys were made up of the series-canon couples, who ruled over all of the other yaoi couples, because they didn't have to rely on authors to get some. And the authors could rely on them getting some without too much provocation.

Duo stood on stage in with the microphone and Heero grudgingly standing by him.

The braided boy sighed inwardly as he noticed empty seats, that shouldn't have been empty, but he did not comment.

"Fellow victims," he started, "Yaoi authors have used us for years as nothing but toys. During which we have been degraded and..."

Duo didn't finish, the audience interrupted him with booing and hissing.

"BOO!"

"Hiss."

After a few chairs were uprooted and thrown, fireballs blasted, and weapons of various types flew through the air, Duo decided it would be best to hightail it. He grabbed Heero by the arm, and did just that.

After all, riots were never very safe

Duo leaned back in a recliner. Heero sat on one of the arms.

"I can't believe our own kind would deceive us like that."

"Us?"

Heero was ignored, "It's those yaoi AUTHORS! They ruined every one of them."

Heero opened his arms to embrace Duo. Or, would have embraced, if that idiot American didn't jump up from where he sat.

"That's i---"

The end

"WHAT?!" Duo screamed, smacking the two offending words away. From his fallen position on the recliner's cushion, Heero smirked and gave a thumbs-up. "You can't just end it right there! This is taking away my right to pursue happiness! I refuse to---"

The End

"FASCIST!!!"

THE END

It is now 6:53 a.m. author-time. And I'm STILL not tired enough to sleep. Maybe I should write something else.

*loud chorus of "NO" from the "victims"*

I know this warning is kind of late (KIND OF?). See, I didn't want to give away that the fic just might not be another one of those hopelessly romantic stories ending in hot, raunchy sex (which prolly would have been MUCH better): Bashing of characters. Bashing of Straight-People authors. Bashing of Yaoi authors. *shrug* I really don't have too much against the Straight-People authors to stereotype the whole group and do it maliciously. It's all for fun. I also LOVE the Yaoi community. I merely make fun of it because it includes freaks like me.

For an omake...

Here are a few other alternate titles:

"Maybe I Should Stick to Reading"

"Vote to Ban Ivy from Earth"

"Proof that I Can Not Write a Serious Fic, Ever"