Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Captivation ❯ Chapter 11 ( Chapter 11 )

Many, many thanks to all those who have reviewed and sent me their comments. Its wonderful to get such feedback. I know I said that this would be just 11 chapters…well, I lied. Its going to be 12 - sorry. And yes, chapter 12 will also have an epilogue which ought to give closure to several of the relationships.

Seduction

Chapter Eleven

Standard disclaimer applies ^_~

Relena closed her bedroom door behind her and sighed deeply in relief. It was her first evening in Sanq Hall on her own; her brother and sister in law had departed for Bath early that morning. Lucrezia had been distressed that Relena would not accompany them but, despite Lucrezia's tears, Relena continued to refuse. She could not risk missing a call from Heero who she felt certain was on his way to her.

Relena had informed her brother and sister in law that she would be perfectly fine and would seek out help if she felt it necessary. And so, suitably reassured, Millardo and Lucrezia had departed for Bath. They did not see when Relena was moved to tears as she had watched their barouche depart, touched by the fact that Lucrezia had waved a white handkerchief out of the window until the carriage had been swallowed up by the trees that flanked the gravel driveway.

And that had been only the first of the leave taking from Sanq Hall that day. A little later on the rest of Quatre's bodyguard, Rashid and Catherine also departed. Relena was both happy and sad, for she was delighted that Catherine had found a strong kind husband such as Rashid, but she was also desperately sad to be losing her friend. Catherine had assured her that she would write as often as she could and would try and find out the cause of Quatre's sudden departure and let Relena know.

None of the servants except for Paygan came to say their farewell to Catherine. The consensus amongst the staff was that it was shocking for a good Christian woman to travel unchaperoned with a savage such as Rashid. When they had been informed that Catherine and Rashid were bound by the Maganac handfasting ceremony the outrage simply increased. Catherine whispered her apologies to Relena, knowing that she would have to bear the brunt of yet more gossip, but Relena assured her that she cared nothing for others opinion and that Catherine's happiness was paramount. She also mentioned as loudly as she could for prying ears to hear that if any of her staff thought Rashid was a 'savage' after he had demonstrated time and time again his kindness, then they were just ignorant. And so, with promises to write and many embraces Catherine left for her new life.

Peygan had done his best to keep the servants civil and polite in the absence of Millardo but unfortunately Mrs Sylvia Noventa was working against him under the stairs. And her agitation made Relena's existence positively uncomfortable. By the time dinner was over it was with pure relief that she retreated to her bedroom after advising her staff that she would need nothing else for the evening.

Relena's eyes misted up a little as she thought how much she missed Catherine. It was only the first night that her maid had been gone, but it felt like Relena had not seen her for months. Her room seemed cheerless without Catherine bustling around, picking up discarded clothes and smoothing them, turning down bedcovers and laughing about events that had happened during the day. She missed Catherine's good sense but knew that her advice would be to ignore the gossip and get on with life.

Relena struggled out of her clothes by herself, having difficulty reaching the tiny multitude of buttons that closed her dress at the back, and even more difficulty extracting the buttons from the little silk loops that secured them. She had refused to have another maid come and help her, especially when she had found that it had been Sylvia Noventa who had been nominated as Catherine's replacement. A contrivance on Sylvia's part that was designed to both irritate and inconvenience Relena. A contrivance that worked perfectly - Relena was annoyed and inconvenienced. By the time she had managed to undo the last button she was quite flushed with the excertion but satisfied that she had not had to resort to asking for help.

The dress puddled around her feet. She kicked the article of clothing across the room, then winced as she imagined Catherine telling her off for not caring more for her clothes. Meekly she obeyed Catherine's memory and picked up the dress, smoothing it down carefully and hanging it up in her large clothes closet on a padded coat hanger. She even remembered to fasten one of Catherine's little bags of lavender to the front of it to help keep the material fresh and scented.

Next were her stays, another problem for a lady alone. Relena smiled a little remembering the old fashioned stays that she had come over from China in. If she had still been wearing those she would have had to call for assistance. Thank goodness the current fashion called for a more natural figure and the stays were light and comfortable. Her chemise and bloomers soon followed to be replaced quickly by a fine white linen nightgown.

She then sat at her dressing table, illuminated by a single candle. The warm orange glow of the flame flattered her skin and made her eyes seem to sparkle. She reached up and unpinned her hair, and began to brush the elaborate hairstyle out. For her fancy coifs were a thing of the past. She could not achieve such style on her own, her fingers had never become as nimble as Catherine's were.

One hundred strokes of the brush later her hair fell in waves over her shoulders and down her back. Relena frowned at her reflection; she looked like a child. She sighed and got up from the dressing table. She was not yet tired and knew that if she tried to sleep she would just lie awake thinking of Heero. Instead Relena wandered over and picked up the sewing that Catherine had left behind, running her fingertips carefully over the work. She felt agitated, but did not know why. A strange tension surrounded her making her feel almost electric. Her fingers began to tingle, a strange sensation one that she normally only experienced in the company of Heero.

...Heero

Her heart had begun to beat a trifle fast and her breathing became rapid. Her nerves started to jolt.

...Heero

He was here. The moment that she so dreaded but so looked forward to was here.

Relena grabbed her paisley shawl and threw it over her shoulders, wrapping it securely around her slender body and hugging to close to herself. This was not an act of modesty, she had no thought for protecting what others so readily slighted, but it was an outward show of the internal trepidation she felt for the approaching conflict.

A small tap at her door made her jump. She all but ran to it, pulling it open with such force that it caused Peygan to step back a pace.

"Lord Yuy presents his compliments and asks if he may attend you." the butler announced. Before Relena had a chance to reply Heero was pushing past Peygan, taking Relena's arm and pushing her back into the room.

"Thank you Peygan. That will be all." Relena managed to say, before her bedroom door was closed firmly by Heero who immediately released her arm as if it burnt him. He stared at her with his cold blue eyes, his mouth straight and grim. He was tense. He was angry.

He was angry with her.

They both stood silent and still staring at each other across the room. Relena took in Heero's pale face, his shadowed eyes, his slightly crumpled clothes. He had come as soon as he had heard the tale, as she knew he would. He wanted her to deny it, but he knew that it was true.

Still they said nothing.

She could not deny it. She had done exactly as Dr Jaye had charged; she had taken Une into her own home. The woman that Heero held responsible for his sister's death. And why did he hold Une responsible? Because Relena had told him that Trieze hinted that it was true.

Finally Relena smiled a little and gestured to a chair. "Please sit Lord Yuy. Would you like tea?"

Heero blinked. He saw in her eyes affirmation of his silent question. He made no move to the chair that she had offered to him. His fists curled tight. "Why?" he grated refusing to acknowledge the social niceties.

Relena sighed and lowered her head, her golden hair falling forward and partially obscuring her face. When she raised it again her eyes were shining bright with determination. "Because it was the right thing to do. Une needed help."

"Help?" Heero repeated "She needed help and you gave it? Did you forget what help Une gave my sister?"

"No!" Relena protested, moving a couple of steps closer to Heero "That has never been out of my mind since I offered to bring her here. I have thought of very little else! But I have come to know her and I am convinced that she did not harm Helena."

Heero's eyes narrowed "What?"

"Treize hinted that Une was responsible, but it was never confirmed." Relena tried to explain but Heero interrupted her again.

"Did you think that when you first got her?" He demanded.

"No, I-" Relena again was interrupted.

"So you invited someone who you thought at the time had killed my sister into your home." Heero continued relentlessly

"Yes, but-"

"And you thought that I would accept that and forgive you?" he asked tersely, but quietly. Heero's whole body shook with suppressed emotion and Relena half wished that he would start yelling at her rather than talking in muted clipped tones.

Relena stared at him. "Yes!" she said, "I thought that you would. I thought that you would be angry and I thought that you would be disappointed. But I also thought that you would understand."

She walked up close to him, her head tilted at an angle so she could look into his face, her hands holding the material of her shawl tightly for she knew that if she let go her arms would automatically reach for him and try to embrace him. She watched him tense, but he stood his ground. Bare inches separated them.

"I could not leave her there, just as I could not leave the children uncared for in the mill. I have to help people in need. If I denied myself that I would not be me!" She lowered her eyes from his and looked down at the floor "You led me to believe that you cared for me. But would you care for me still if I did not follow how my heart led me? Would you care for me if I ignored those who needed help?" She raised her eyes again to Heero's face holding her breath with nervous anticipation. Her entire future hung on his response to her plea.

His face was cold and blank, his eyes narrowed. "Miss Peacecraft you are mistaken."

Mistaken? In what? In her actions? In supporting Une?

In believing that Heero loved her?

Heero turned and left the room. Relena could do nothing but watch him go. She could not breath. Her heart felt like it was going to stop. She wanted to run after him but her legs would not move.

Heero did not love her?

It echoed in her head, taunting her. Again and again until it drowned out everything else. Relena's hand rose to her ears and she pressed tight trying to deafen the chant. Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. Her legs gave way beneath her and she sank to her knees, her nightdress puffing up around her.

"Miss Peacecraft, you are mistaken"

It was all that Relena could do to stop herself from wailing in despair.

* * * *

Heero strode out of the room, his face stormy. Dr Jaye waited for him in the foyer of Sanq Hall and observed his approach down the stairs. He stood up from the seat in which he had been waiting in and smiled sadly.

"You have done the correct thing, my boy." Dr Jaye nodded in reassurance.

Heero glanced back at the room from which he had just exited and made no comment, but Dr Jaye saw the look of hesitation in Heero's face. He took Heero by the arm. "You have followed the only correct course." he repeated and started leading him towards the steps. Again Heero hesitated. "Think of Helena." Dr Jaye whispered.

Heero nodded, but still said nothing. He and the doctor walked out of Sanq Hall. Forever.

* * * * *

Relena could not say how long she stayed kneeling upon the bedroom floor. She remained still and quiet, ears straining for the sound of Heero returning. She waited for him to come back in and say that he forgave her.

But she heard nothing. He would not come.

She felt all of a sudden very alone. Isolated and unloved. Her stepfather was still just a little way down the road, but she could not burden him with the misery she was feeling. The Reverend had a strong desire to return to China and she would not give him any cause to doubt his decision.

She sniffed, blinking away tears that refused to stop. In an unladylike gesture she wiped her sleeve across her eyes and sniffed again. She was so unhappy she felt that she could die from it - why live when living caused so much pain? She wanted desperately to run after Heero into the night and beg him to forgive her, to agree to have nothing more to do with Lady Une and the mill. For a moment she would have agreed to sell her very soul to have Heero return to her and give her just one smile.

She sniffed again. But she could not do that. If she did, she would no longer be Relena and if she was no longer Relena then how would Heero care for her. She felt the urge to wail again. Why did he not he understand that? Why would he not listen to her? She felt her despair shift towards anger. And did he really not love her or was he merely hitting out at her to cause her pain in retaliation for causing him pain. How could he do that to her? She began to feel indignant.

Her hands clenched the material of her night dress so tightly that she wondered why it did not rip. Blinking away fresh tears she urged herself to breathe normally. She rose unsteadily to her feet and clutched the edge of a chair to support herself. She took another breath. One breath at a time would get her through this. That was all she needed to do, take one breath at a time.

"Madam?" Peygan was at the door watching her with concern in his watery old eyes. "Can I get someone to-"

Relena shook her head firmly. Breathe. There was no one in the house that she could give her comfort. "No thank you." she said, surprised in a detached way that her voice was so firm. "I am retiring for the night Peygan and will not need anything else. Good night."

Peygan watched her solemnly. For a moment she thought he would argue, but then he nodded and bade her good night in return. He closed the door to her room as quietly as he had opened it and Relena was alone once more. Feeling suddenly cold she crawled across the floor to the fireplace and sat huddled in front of it staring at the flames playing gently in the grate. She could not bear to think of a life without Heero. She loved him and knew in her heart that she would never love another man. And she knew in her heart that he loved her too. No matter what he said.

Relena began to feel calmer as she began to plan what she could do to win Heero's forgiveness. She could not take back what was done, nor would she wish to. But she could persuade Heero that she was correct in what she had done. He would, of course, be stubborn and it was probable that he would refuse to listen to her. But she was equally as stubborn as Heero would discover and she would visit him daily, hourly if needed, until he forgave her.

She grimaced as she watched the flames. It would do nothing for her reputation, she could imagine the town gossips eagerly spreading the news that the Peacecraft heiress was throwing herself at Lord Yuy. Such gossip would be distressing, but she would endure it because her goal was the love of Heero.

Her brother would also be very irate at her behavior. Actually, both her brothers would be irate. Relena felt her mouth smile involuntarily at the thought, it was fortunate that Millardo was in Bath and Wufei was perhaps no longer in England. Both would be unable to rebuke her in person. Relena felt her smile widen. At first light she would walk to Maresfield and make Heero listen to her.

The click of the latch on her door closing made Relena look up. For the briefest of moments she thought that it was Heero returned and she felt her heart jump. But it was not Heero. Relena pulled her shawl closer to her body.

"Dr Jaye!" she whispered, a little scared to find the strange old man in her bedroom. He smiled crookedly at her as she scrambled to her feet, trying to keep her nightgown covered by the large shawl

He walked slowly into the room, his eyes on Relena watching her closely as she stood softly illuminated by the flames of the fire, the orange glow reflected in her loose hair and silhouetting her body. He walked by her to one of the large windows of her room. With an effort he raised the sash, grimacing at the pain that it gave his hands. The night air caught the drapes and made them billow.

"Beautiful evening." he commented, looking out at the dark gardens.

Relena shivered, and not just because cold air that flooded the room. "What do you want?" she asked, alarmed that the old man had entered her rooms without her consent and probably without the knowledge of her staff.

Dr Jaye turned and looked at her again. "You are a pretty young thing." he said moving a little closer to her "It is no wonder Heero is smitten by you."

Relena stood her ground. "You are wrong, Dr Jaye." she said "At this moment he does not like me very much at all."

Dr Jaye nodded "At this moment, that is true. But, you see, I know my ward very well. Even now he is faltering in his decision. I knew that the moment he refused to get into our carriage and said he would walk home." Relena could not help herself, she smiled a little in relief and the Dr noted it, Hhe came a little nearer to Relena, a frown on his face.

"You cannot see can you why your association with Heero is so disastrous, can you?" he asked as he crept forward. Relena tried to reply but there was something so spider like in the way that the old man came towards her that the words stuck in her throat. Dr Jaye continued "What is it with you young women that you cannot see beyond your own wants and needs. You cannot understand that Heero should be above the association with others. He does not need the ill publicity that associating with a harlot can bring.." Relena flinched at being at this, but her attention was arrested by his last words. "…or a madwoman."

"...Madwoman?" she breathed watching the old man closely. He was now only inches from her. He smiled sadly raising a claw like hand and caressed the softness of her face. Relena tried not to flinch at the feel of his scared fingers, she wanted to know what he meant. "..Madwoman?" she repeated.

The doctor sighed, his eyes rheumy and sad through his glasses. "Helena." he whispered, his fingers still touching her skin. "If it became known that Heero had a mad sister… the damage to his career would have been irrevocable. His mission would have failed." he blinked a couple of times, his eyes became focused "I could not allow that."

...could not allow that..

Relena felt his old fingers suddenly trail down to her neck and start to tighten. Her hands flew up to grasp his and try and pull away.

"I am not a harlot!" she gasped before the pressure he exerted stopped her speech.

Dr Jaye smiled sadly "Nor was Helena a madwoman. But she was perceived to be one, just as you are perceived to be a harlot. And I will not allow Heero to suffer for that perception."

Relena pulled at the old bent fingers that tightened around her neck. His grip was incredibly strong despite the old injuries his fingers had suffered. Her vision was suddenly accosted by a multitude of black spots. Through the ringing in her ears she could hear Dr Jaye talking in calm conversational tones.

"I knew that Helena was not mad, I knew it the moment I saw her in that terrible institution that Kushrinada had placed her. She begged me to help her escape it, but I could not. By then the damage had already been done, you see. She was labeled mad. Do you know how difficult a position it would have put Heero in? To have a mad sister? It would have destroyed his mission. To protect it I did the only thing I could do."

Relena tried to dig her fingernails into the old mans flesh in an effort to free herself, but Dr Jaye just smiled sadly at her attempts. "You cannot hurt these old hands, they are already as damaged as they ever will be. Not even enough strength left in them to take your life. But enough to render you unconscious and enough to push you from the window."

Relena felt her strength ebb away, her hand movements became fluttery and weak. Her vision turned grey and as the black spots rapidly expanded pulling her into complete darkness she heard Dr Jaye say "They will think you committed suicide over Heero's rejection. He will be sad, but his mission will go on'.

Dr Jaye released his grip of Relena's neck as she went limp, moving his hands to under her arms to support her weight. Her head lolled back, already livid bruises were showing on the creamy whiteness of her neck. No matter, the doctor thought, the other contusions bought about by her fall would soon hide those. He shook his head as he lowered her gently to the ground. She lay as one already dead, only the gentle movement of her chest indicated that life still resided within her. Her skin was ivory white and her hair spilled over the red mahogany floorboards like a halo. Her white nightdress clung to her body, outlining her youthful slenderness.

Dr Jaye sighed. Apart from the marks he had inflicted on her, she was perfect. No wonder Heero had been so taken by her. Indeed, the girl even stirred a long unfelt need in the old man. He shook his head, reminding himself that he had a task to complete. Dr Jaye walked over to the window and looked out. The darkness was almost complete. The drop to the graveled drive below was not as high as it had been for Helena, but it would have to suffice. He could not risk being seen dragging the young girl up another flight of stairs. Considering the situation he thought that it would probably be morning before anyone found her body and by that time blood loss or the coldness of the night air would have done their work on the child. Not a particularly nice demise, he admitted, but he would do anything for Heero. And that had been proved when he had killed poor pretty Helena who had begged him first for help and then had pleaded for her life.

The doctor reached up and made sure that the sash window was open to its fullest, he then turned back to the girl. She moaned a little when he grasped her under her arms and started dragging her to the window, a certain sign that she was regaining consciousness. Dr Jaye knew that he needed to hurry. At the window he pulled her up into a sitting position, her head lolled forward and her fine blonde hair hid her face. The old doctor grimaced as he pulled her up level with the window, she was light but his spine was old and her weight gave him significant pain. He knew that he would be paying for this night's work in aches and pains for many days to come.

He had balanced her on the windowsill, her head cradled on his shoulder, her chest pressed enticingly against his. He breathed in the scent of her hair one last time. It was such a pity that she had not heeded his original warning. If she had left Heero alone she would have been free to live her young life.

Gently he pushed her.