Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Crappy Poem Theater ❯ Keith must die!! ( Prologue )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Cherry Blossom: Okay, here's the deal. I've been really swamped with exams and school and I haven't had time to do Crappy Poem Theater. Believe me, I tried and it turned out rushed and crappy like. Soooooooo I recently discovered that THEY TOOK MY VERY FIRST MST OFF THE NET!!! This is the poem that started it all!! And you should all get the privilege (snicker) of reading it. So this is my cheap consolation to not having Crappy Poem Theater 9 out yet. I promise to have a really kick-ass session for Valentine's day. Complete with more hentai poems. I promise! On with the rehashed fic! Mwahahahahahahahhahaha!!!!

This is my first MST. So don't blame me if you hate it. Blame Matteo. I have no idea who Keith is except that he wrote a crappy poem and now I have to read it.

Disclaimer: I don't own the G-Boyz, dammit.

Poem lines are in italics.

Cherry Blossom is standing in a small, empty theater. She looks around and smirks in satisfaction.

Cherry Blossom: Yep. This should do it. Okay, now to fetch my 'guests'.

G-Boyz: ::fall from the sky into the front row seats::

Heero: What the-

Duo: Hell-

Quatre: How did we-

Trowa: ???

Wufei: Wha-

Cherry Blossom: Hiyee guys! <jumps into Wufei's lap>

Wufei: Get off me onna!

Duo: Hey, it's Cherry. Hi Cherry! But what are we doing here? This isn't a lemon is it?

All G-Boyz look nervous and start to back away from Cherry Blossom.

Cherry Blossom: Nope. This is my homework assignment.

Heero: What?

Cherry Blossom: Yeah, I'm supposed to analyze some poems. You guys are going to help me.

Wufei: I do not read poems. It is un-manly.

Cherry B: You'll listen or you're going in the next Relena lemon.

Wufei: <gulps>

Quatre: I just love poetry readings!

Everybody else: o_O

Quatre: What?

Heero: Let's just get this over with. I've got better things to do.

Duo: Like what?

Heero: …..

Cherry B: Right. Here we go.

Dearest Andrea

Heero: Uh oh. I don't like the sound of that title.

Duo: Is this poem lemony fresh?

Cherry B: I don't think the writer has enough intelligence to write a lemon that rhymes.

Trowa: What rhymes with lemon?

Duo: Umm…nothing.

By Keith

Trowa: I have a feeling that we're going to be cursing the name Keith for a while.

You're beauty shines throughout the year

Duo: So…Andrea's a lamp?

Cherry B: More or less.

All things in you seem right

Trowa: :: in a creepy voice:: But things aren't always what they seem.

Everyone else: o_O

Trowa: What?

I've known no other like you dear

Got dreams for our delight

Heero: That line made no sense.

Cherry B: We know.

I have you always in my heart

Need not think I don't care

Wufei: But I don't care.

You know it too so let's make start

Duo: <as cheezy children's craft show host> Today, children, we are going to learn how to make start. All you need is 5 freshly tortured Gundam pilots, 1 slightly nauseated fanfic writer, and 1 extremely crappy poem.

Cherry Blossom: Check, check, annnnnnd double check!

Now while we've time to spare

Stand in stroll our garden lea

Quatre: What's a garden lea?

Trowa: How do you stand in stroll?

Wufei: Who really gives a sh-

Cherry Blossom: WUFEI!

Wufei: <grumbles> Weak onna.

By me, us hand in hand

Me for you, and you for me

Cherry B: Did anyone else think that the last line was redundant?

Heero: It was redundant.

Duo: Redundantly redundant.

Trowa: Okay, that's enough.

Dear, share what He hath planned

Duo: Wait a minute, who's this 'He' person.

Trowa: Maybe it's the writer.

Quatre: What does he have planned?

Duo: Well first he's gonna get her back to his place and then…

Cherry B: Don't.

Duo: But I-

Cherry B: Just don't.

For it will someday come to pass

We'll feel so much when won

Heero: Huh? You mean someone's going to win these two people?

Wufei: <snorts> Some prize. I pity whoever wins them.

Be everything for you my lass

Duo: <fake scottish accent> Aye, she's a bonnie wee lass, she is.

Everyone else: o_O

Duo: <annoyed> What?

Love's faith, hope, trust, as one

Then on that day of greeting

You will be heaven sent

Duo: <gasp> He's gonna kill her.

Everyone: Yay!

Shall we be with hearts meeting

Cherry B: I think that line is missing something.

Wufei: I think that last line is just crappy.

Cherry B: That too.

Hear now I will be Gent

Quatre: <blinks> Gent? I thought his name was Keith.

Duo: <strikes dramatic pose> Hear me now, Andrea. From this day forth you shall call me Gent.

Cherry B: <sweatdrops> Oookay.

So 'til I see your radient smile

Sweet twinklings in your eyes

Hear gentle, soft the words of I'll

Duo: The words of I'll?

Heero: The hell?

Cherry B: Does anyone else get the feeling that the writer just stuck this line in 'cause it rhymed?

Wufei: I get the feeling that I'm going to be sick.

Clear beauty's grace surprise

Everyone: <stares blankly>

Heero: I'm not even going to try and decipher that one.

God's love knows not A never

Trowa: Does that have anything to do with the rest of the poem?

Duo: No.

Trowa: Then why put it in?

Duo: 'Cause it rhymed, baka.

Wish you could see it too

Quatre: See what?

Cherry B: Just smile and nod, Quatre.

Quatre: But I-

Cherry B: Just smile and nod.

For now and yes forever

Us rests in words "I do"

Trowa: Either they're getting married or committing suicide.

Wufei: I vote for the second one.

THE END

Heero: The torment has ended!

Wufei: Thank God.

Duo: Your welcome.

Wufei: Not you.

Duo: <pouts>

Trowa: That was such a stupid poem.

Heero: I believe the word you're looking for, Trowa, is crap.

Quatre: Oh, I don't know. At least it rhymed.

Duo: I can't believe your English teacher made you read that.

Cherry B: Blame Keith. He's the one who wrote it.

Duo: Keith must die!

Heero: <pulls gun out of spandex space> Mission accepted.

<G-Boyz get out of their seats>

Cherry B: Hey wait! I've still got three more crappy poems for you to analyze.

Boyz: <stare>

Duo: Cherry must die!

Heero: <points gun at her> Mission accepted.

Cherry B: Uh, on second thought, I guess we could forget about the other poems. Hey wait, why am I scared of you? I'm the author. <shows off her supreme power by putting the G-Boyz in tights and frilly pink tutus>

Duo: The hell?

Wufei: INJUSTICE!

Heero: Omeo wo korosu.

Trowa: <nosebleeds at the sight of Quatre in tights>

Quatre: Ooohh, pretty.

Everyone else: o_O

Quatre: What?

Well that was a trip. Poor G-Boyz. Review or suffer more poems from Keith.