Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Heero's Problem...(and mine) ❯ One-Shot

Disclaimer goodness….

As everyone says none of us own any of them…. I am sure you don't need to hear about it.

Well, tell me how you guys enjoy this… maybe one day I will write something like this again if enough of you actually enjoy it… Happy New Years peeps, and take care.

I love reviews so send them away, good or bad.

yo yo yo thought

"yo yo yo" speech

this thing is giving me the biggest headache of all time… it just doesn't want to load… hopefully it is working now

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God damn it to bloody hell! , What is this? Why the hell don't you guys die? ("Don't you people ever die?!?") Heero thought just as a new wave of new mobile suits came after him.

Shit, I am going to have to retreat; I hate retreating. I should have been able to take care of this, damn it! He sighed in resentment. "I will just have to take care of this later."

Heero quickly shifted his Gundam into bird mode and proceeded to retreat away from the battlefield towards the newest safe house, on full blast making sure that the OZ mobile suits would not be able to follow him. He mobilized his scanners, just to make sure no one was going to follow him, even though no one in their right mind would try and follow Wing with its full thrusters on. They would most likely burn to ashes trying to follow his trail.

"RED ALERT. RED ALERT.

"What the hell?!" He looked at the sign on the screen and listened to the voice of that annoying woman who was seemingly always on every voice message in the world.

"RED ALERT. RED ALERT. GASS TANKS ARE LOW."

"Kuso…"

"RECOMMEND EMERENCY LANDING IMMEDITTLY"

"Kuso, again." Heero looked around at the vid screen in front of him and tried to find a decent site where he could land his Gundam. He spotted a clearing in the middle of a huge forest and carefully landed, making sure that the trees would cover Wing sufficiently.

"RED ALERT RED ALERT."

What now…?

"ENERGY CORE WIREING HAS BEEN DAMAGED."

Oh no, don't tell me…

"EMERGENCY LIGHTING WILL NOW COMMENCE."

The lighting in the cockpit went completely out, leaving Heero in complete darkness until a small red lamp blinked on behind him.

That's the emergency lighting…? J was really stupid…! Wait a sec… He Heero began to push on the hatch from his Gundam so he could escape. Oh no, please no!.

He frantically tried to type commands into the computer, but it seemed that nothing was willing to happen. "Well, now all I can do is sit back and wait for my air to end," he remarked facetiously.

"BACK-UP AIR FILTER INITIATING."

Well, At least I won't suffocate to death… instead I will just dehydrate or starve.

He angrily banged his head against the wall of his cockpit repeatedly until suddenly a compartment busted open above him, and all the contents fell down upon his head.

"ITAI!"

Heero rubbed his head and executed his infamous death glare at the compartment overhead, willing it to turn to dust…

It didn't change…

Heero began to look through the contents of said compartment when a mysterious red light blinked to life above him without a warning or sign to the distracted pilot below. "Let's see, Water… water… more water… Gatorade… Power-Aide… power bar, banana flavor… energy bar with protein… Duo was right, I do need more of a selection in my life."

He sighed, realizing that he, at least, wouldn't die anytime soon. And because the hatch was locked, the only thing for Heero to do now was wait until one of the others thought to start tracking his missing Gundam.

Hold on a second, I never put those things in there…! … J must have when he built this.. But, then, how long have these things been in here?

Heero groaned and leaned back into his chair.

10 minutes passed in silence

I should get an upgrade… one where I can lean the chair back; like those commercial air lines; the ones where I traveled with Odin in… Those things were slow as hell, but the seats were nice and it was at least relaxing.

When there was nothing to think about, Heero found his mind going back to the events that had happened earlier that day. That's when a sudden realization hit him like a ton of bricks…

SHIT! KUSO! DAMNIT! INJUSTICE! I totally failed my mission! That stupid base had 10 times more mobile suits then what my mission plan had said, damn the stupid intelligence! Last time I trust them!!! From now on I will get my own plans and I will be the Intel...

…Well, I guess this mission can't be accomplished… at this time. … But I will, I WILL accomplish it later… Duo would be so proud of me... he thought sarcastically.

Heero could see it perfectly how it would all turn out…

"`I AM SO PROUD OF YOU HEE-CHAN! WE SHOULD HAVE A HUGE PARTY!"'

And he would do it with that big grin of his and proceed to call everyone we know… Considering we aren't allowed to know many people, it wouldn't be a very big party… Unless… he wouldn't… would he? Dear god, he might call Relena just to torture me… and her friends…!

He shivered uncontrollably at the thought.

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Back at the Safe House

A boy, well, a man really, well, lets just say he's a Braided Baka with long hair, was skipping along to where a blonde boy, well, an empathic guy, sat in a large room with lots of electronic equipment and a few small televisions screens.

"Yo, Q-man, anything on Heero?"

"Not yet Duo… Wait a sec…!" One of the TVs suddenly showed a live feed of the top of Heero's head where he sat in his Gundam: it was obvious that he didn't realize the camera was on.

Quatre immediately began to trace the connection and how it was broadcasted.

"He looks really bored," said the Braided Baka, amused, as he hovered over the blonde's shoulder.

"How can you tell?" Replied the empathic boy sarcastically.

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Back at the Dysfunctional Gundam

"88 bottles of beer on the wall, 88 bottles of beer; take one down; pass it around. 87 bottles of beer on the wall…"

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Back at the safe house

"Yep, he's bored."

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Gundam

"One… bottle of beer… on the wall…"

Heero's head rolled upwards as his eyes drearily closed.

"One bottle of beer…. Take one down; pass it around… no bottles of beer on the wall…"

What's the last line of the song? ; I always made Duo shut-up around 50… Damn it, now I wanna know. I will have to ask him later...

He looked back at the empty screen in front of him, trying to decide what to do next. He then picked out a bottle of water. Heero started to drink it absent-mindedly.

I wonder how Duo does it, all that talking non-stop without needing to drink a lot afterwards or in-between. He amazes me at times.

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Safe House

"Did he actually just sing the whole song?" Asked a Chinese man, with his hair pulled back in a ponytail so tightly that it looked like it gave him a huge headache, to the blonde-haired empathic guy who was currently banging his head on the table from that annoying song.

"Yes..."

"Pay up," Bang Boy smirked, as did the Braided Baka. The other two handed the Hair Boys the money.

"I warned you, when Heero gets bored he talks a lot. I would know since I AM his room mate." Smirked Duo.

"Have you ever seen Heero trapped in a trailer, bed-ridden, with nothing to do after acting all noble and self-destructing in his Gundam?" Retorted Trowa, remembering the time when he had to take care of him earlier that year.

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Gundam

"I've got a lovely bunch of Coconuts; (dida-li dee) there they are, standing in a row; (do-do-do) big ones, small ones, some as big as your head…"

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Safe house

"Where did he learn that song?!"

"I think it's from one of those old cartoon movies that Duo made him see, with talking lions and monkeys…"

"IT'S A CLASSIC!!! Don't go messing with `The Lion King.'"

"Oh no, we wouldn't want to go and make fun of the talking animals now would we?"

"Wuffers, you are going to pay for that comment!"

"Its WuFEI… and what am I going to pay you with? My hairbrush… Onna?"

Said braided `onna' started chasing said `Wuffers' around the house.

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Gundam

"Guns and bombs and explosives, explosives, explosives;, guns and bombs and explosives, explosives and OZZY, OZZY, OZZY, shot….

"One OZZY shot, two OZZY shot, three OZZY shot, four OZZY shot, five OZZY shot, six OZZY shot, seven OZZY shot, shot; dooon't chuck your muck in my backyard, my backyard, my backyard; don't chuck your muck in my backyard, my backyard is full…." 1

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Safe House

Blond Boy raised his eyebrow at the edited version of `One Bottle of Pop' song.

"I never knew he was creative like that, although, the `don't chuck your muck in my backyard' doesn't fit with the `guns and bombs and explosives' part." said the Braided Boy that had just recently tied "Wuffers" to a chair, who was currently displayed in pink.

"Injustice..."

"You keep going like that, Wu-man, your Gundam will suffer your same fate," said as a warning.

'Wu-man' frowned at the hated nickname but wisely stayed quiet.

"Good boy."

The Braided Baka got glared at.

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Gundam

"… Three OZZY shot, four OZZY shot, five OZZY shot, six OZZY shot, seven OZZY shot, shot, dooon't throw you body bags in my backyard, my backyard, my backyard…"

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Safe House

"It fits, it just doesn't rhyme now."

"He's the perfect soldier, not the perfect poet."

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Gundam

"Dooon't pitch your stiff in my backyard, my backyard my backyard;, don't pitch your stiff in my backyard, my backyard is full."

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Safe House

"Well… we said it needed to rhyme."

"It's rhyming now that's for sure."

"I think we should sell that song to the Colonists; they might enjoy it."

"It's a little too bleak, if you ask me..."

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Gundam

"Guns and bombs and explosives, explosives, explosives;, guns and bombs and explosives, explosives and OZZY, OZZY, OZZY, shot…."

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Safe House

"When does that song end, Duo?!"

"It doesn't; not until he stops."

"Dear Allah, save us all..." Blonde Boy hit his head against the computer table… again.

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Gundam

30 minutes later and 2 empty water bottles on the floor

"It's a small world after all; it's a small world after all; it's a small world after all; it's a small, small world…"

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Safe House

"MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!"

"Look on the bright side, at least he isn't singing the song that never ends…"

"You didn't just say that, Quatre… did you?!"

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Gundam

"This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some people," he takes a deep breath,. "Started singing it not knowing what it was, and they just keep on singing it forever, just because...

"This is…."

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Safe House

The four in the room glanced at the television screen in shock.

"What the hell…?"

Three of the said occupants then launched into a glaring contest with poor Quatre, their target.

"As you were saying…?"

"Heh, heh," said the Blonde Boy shakily as he made an ingeniously hasty retreat out of the door.

"Someone should chase after him."

"Mission Accepted," then the smart Bang Boy left almost as quickly as the blonde did.

"One of us should stay and continue the trace; I have to... uh... practice my Katana. Bye!" The Chinese man, who had somehow miraculously untied himself with a calligraphy pen that he was using earlier, jumped from the chair and followed the others out of the room with obvious haste.

"Injustice…" The Braided Baka breathed when he was all alone to suffer through Heero's endless singing charades.

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Gundam

I'm hungry

Heero looked over at the predictably stale power bars and picked one up apprehensively.

Well, at least it's something.

He tried to peel the wrapper but it kept getting stuck on the actual bar.

What is this…? Are Gundam food rations child proof or something?

As soon as he was able to get the bar cleaned from the wrapper he tried to take a bite, but found the actual act of eating quite impossible.

What the hell is this made out of… rock?!

He attempted to take another bite.

"It's child proof AND it's eating proof… amazing." He thought sarcastically as he again tried to take a bite.

This is what they call a power bar...? Well, it is powerful, that's for sure….

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Safe house

"Did he actually eat that?" Braid boy said to himself, a bit disgusted. "Yep, he actually ate that. At least he isn't singing any more…"

He paused instantly, realizing his stupid mistake…

"Oh dear god, I shouldn't have said that…"

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Gundam

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes…"

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Safe House

"Why did I have to say that...?"

"Duo, you alright in there?"

"Of course not, why would you think that?!"

"Just checking…"

"Aren't you going to come in and keep me company at least?!"

"Of course not; I am not suicidal!!"

Who would of thought little sweet Q-man would have a mean streak?

"And I am?"

"You're Death;, you can handle it."

At this, Duo had to bite his tongue or he would have had to denounce his title of Shinigami

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Gundam

I think it's time for a break… Now, lets try this energy meal bar…. Heero took a bite out of the energy bar and was in shock at how easy it was to eat. Well, I guess something can handle being in a Gundam for who knows how long… Oh, I never tried the orange Gatorade…!

He took a huge gulp from it… and spit it right back up all over the screen.

" Damn!! " There was a reason for that.

Damn!! That was the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted! Orange water is officially horrible… Orange; old; hot water…

Heero looked around the Gundam. And I thought there was a cooling system in here… he thought with a touch of reproach.

--------------------------------------Safe House

Duo took a deep relaxing breath. No more of that song…

A Chinese man walked into the computer room. "Any luck?"

"Almost there; hopefully another 20 minutes.."

"Where did he learn all those songs?"

"Heh heh… road trip."

"Ooooohhh… I feel sorry for him."

"You feel sorry for him?"

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Gundam

"Now this looks like a job for me everybody just follow me, 'cause we need a little controversy because it feels so empty without me…" Heero started to bang the walls of his Gundam with `drumsticks,' a.k.a. power bars.

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Safe House

"Please tell me you found him…"

"MUWAHHAAAHAHAHAAAA you know it… Who's the master; who is the master?!"

Everyone in the vicinity rolled their eyes.

"I think he has become mentally insane because of Heero now."

"You mean he wasn't before?!"

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Gundam

Don't tell me…!

Heero crossed his legs tightly, horror riding his face.

Please don't tell me this means what I think it means….

He looked around his cockpit, looking at all the empty bottles of water, Gatorade raid and Power-Ade.

"God damn it all… I need to go to the bathroom!!"

A few painful moments went byHe then re-crossed his legs... numerous times. I never would have thought that I, Heero Yuy, would be stuck in a Gundam for who knows how long and need to go to the bathroom so badly…! I hope that Duo or ANYONE will find me SOON…. At this point in time, even if OZ found me, I would kiss their ugly faces and just pee on their shoes or something...!

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Safe House

"Okay then, the place is about an hour away from here; it seems he was coming towards this area, but had to stop in the middle, possibly due to a power outage or something … Duo… Duo bring your tools;, obviously if he isn't out of his Gundam of his own capability, then there must be a problem with the door… We are going to need some major heavy duty tools," Quatre took charge.

"You got it, boss man," Duo ran off with his braid trailing behind to his room to get his things ready.

"Trowa, get one of the transport cars, we are going to need to carry Wing out."

Trowa nodded in reply and quickly headed to the garage to get the truck out and ready to roll.

"Wuffy…"

"WUFEI!!!"

"Sorry Wufei," Quatre replied embarrassingly.

"Duo is rubbing off on you. Injustice. And I thought we had at least one other sane person in our group."

"Heh heh," Quatre cleared his throat and continued, "We are going to need some tracking equipment so we can make sure that OZ won't be following us or that they haven't picked up on his signal yet. We most likely will need to run right after we pick him up…"

"You got it," Wu-man started on his way out.…

"Wait a sec., If we are going to need to run, tell everyone to get all of their things together and tell Trowa we will need 3 large trucks instead. I will tell Duo."

Wufei nodded in affirmation and ran off. Quatre threw a look at the screen where Heero still sat and all he could think of was…

I hope he can be the perfect holder for he is going to need to hold himself for a looong time…" Quatre mumbled under his breath.

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Gundam

"OH BY THE GODS PLEEEASE SAVE ME FROM THIS UNBEARABLE PAIN!!!" Heero yelled from inside of the Gundam to who ever was listening… , even though he figured no one could hear him but himself.

"I promise that if you get me out of this Gundam I will let Duo and Quatre dress me up in a pink tutu and I will do a ballerina dance for them with make-up and everything! Just, GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!"

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Safe House

A small malevolent giggle came from inside of the safe house Quatre continued to watch Heero struggle in Wing… boy; he was going to regret saying that.

"Did he just say what I think he said?" Trowa asked, as he was about to tell Q everything has been set.

"Yes Trowa, he did and I'm going to hold him to it. Hey, do you think we could set up the audio transmission into the trucks so we can hear how he is doing and a transmission of OZ's radio so we know if they have gotten the signal from Heero also?"

" Yea, That won't be a problem, if I can't do it I am sure Duo can figure it out." Trowa replied as he left again for the garage to get everything ready for their trip.

"Alright, let's go," Quatre grabbed the tape from the recorder and placed it in a protective covering; he wouldn't want anything to happen to this…he is going to have to tell Duo about this. What great blackmail material!

--------------------------------------Gundam

Heero was sitting in his chair with his feet drawn up to his chest in obvious pain, burying his face whilst hugging his knees as if life itself depended on it.

Please let this be over already, I don't think I can hold it any longer and I reall, really don't want to mess up my Gundam…! Maybe if I use the bottles… it probably won't hold enough… oh man!

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Somewhere Between Here and There

They had to attach an extra flat to each truck in order to carry all of the Gundams and the tow to lift Heero's Wing Zero onto the flat bed. Quatre was monitoring the transmission from OZ in a truck that housed his own Gundam and Deathsythe. Duo and Wufei were getting the transmission from Heero's Gundam while carting Altron and an extra flat for Heero's gundam. And Trowa's truck held his own Gundam and the lift machinery for stowing Wing. It seemed they were finally set.

"Duo, please try to keep the talking to the minimum," Wufei was close enough to beg him to do so and experienced enough to know that the braided American could talk up a storm in these situations.

" Don't worry about me," Duo replied as he turned on the radio to Heero making sure there were no bugs in the system; and, as soon as he turned it on, they all heard… "I did it all for the bathroom, come on, the bathroom, come on, so you could take my …"

"Limp Bisket, Duo?"

"I told you that you didn't need to worry about me… it's him that you aren't going to be able to stop."

"I am sure it will turn out fine…"

An hour later.

"THANK ALL THAT IS HOLY THAT WE ARE HERE!!!"

Duo snickered at Wufei, "I thought it was creative the way he started rhyming things with bathroom, pee, and toilet paper."

"Only you Duo," they got out of the truck and looked up at Wing, "Well, it's going to be easier to lift and store it now that it is still in bird mode. It would have been more complicated attaching a non-working Gundam in its regular position."

"True that," Duo said as he was getting the supplies to get Heero out, but just as he was going to do so, Quatre yelled from the area of his parked truck.

"You guys, they have finally pin pointed the position of Heero's Gundam; we have to get out of here right away!"

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Gundam

Heero, amidst the fifth stanza of a completely pathetic song, heard the sounds of angels just beyond his prison:, trucks. He couldn't have been more ecstatic!.

"Heero are you in there?!"

Like if I was out of here would Quatre need to ask me that?! (or I could have him think, Quatre? Stating the Obvious? Not so sure I'd keep this…))

"GET ME OUTTA HERE NOW!!!" He decidedly yelled instead.

"Now, relax, OZ is on our tail so we will have to put you on the truck, we don't have enough time to get you out of there just yet."

"What do you mean? NO TIME?! I need to get out of here, NOW!!"

Please, please, please, please!

"Impossible Hee-chan," oh no, not that braided baka, "just be our perfect soldier for a little while longer and then we can get you out of there so you can do your business."

Does he know? Nah, impossible, must be something like the business of blowing things up.

"Alright then, we are pulling you up now... have fun!" Quatre taunted.

What did Quatre mean by that Heero thought.

Outside the Gundam in the middle of Somewhere

Duo winced as he saw the Gundam being pushed and pulled and bumped as it was being placed down onto the platform… that just had to be painful.

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Gundam, still

Omae wo korosu!! He thought as he was violently bumped around… he could only hope his bladder would hold out.

Again, Outside the Gundam

"Alright, Trowa, since you aren't carrying anyone else's Gundam but your own, you are going to take your Gundam and distract OZ make sure that they won't follow us until we contact you and tell you it's safe." Quatre dictated to Trowa. "Take care, don't get hurt."

Trowa nodded once and unloaded his Gundam.

"I will need someone with me to help me with keeping track of OZ and calling Trowa if there are any problems. One person has to stay in the truck and drive Heero… and we will regroup at the 2nd gas station."

Duo had already run over to where Quatre's truck/Gundams were.

"Injustice…."

"Good luck Wuffers," Quatre winked at Wufei as he headed for the truck Duo was now in.

"Thanks… wait a sec," Wufei realized too late as he realized that the only truck left for him to drive was the one with Wing and Altron, and a very ill tempered Heero Yuy

"Injustice…."

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A Very Bumpy Gundam

"WHO THE HELL IS DRIVING THIS THING!!! I SWEAR WHEN I FIND OUT WHO IS DRIVING THIS BLOODY TRUCK I WILL PERSONALLY CASTRATE THEM WITH A DULL SPOON!!!"

Heero seemingly thought that he was talking to himself and thus yelled out his frustration and agony to who ever, as the bumps and slides and everything possible was driving him to absolute insanity. Of course, he never had the chance to realize that the audio link to his cockpit was wired into the cabin of the transportation truck….

After a particularly nasty bump, He took a deep breath and then resumed in detail every possible way of torturing the driver…

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The Cabin of One Transport Truck

Heero's comments were making it harder for Wufei to drive without incidental bumps and turns. … In fact, it was making it worse, and thus the effect of the increasingly worse driving was the increase in Heero's brutal comments

Wufei was suffering, he would have turned it off but it seems that Duo had wired it so that it would be impossible to turn off.... must have been the reason that Duo didn't wan't to be the one driving. The Chinese man was becoming very pale… who knew that there many ways of using a spoon?!

… He quickly began hoping that Heero would end up taking his revenge on OZ and not on him when the whole ordeal was over. Wufei knew for sure that he would take his own revenge upon Duo and Quatre for leaving him with this particular truck.

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And in yet Another Transport Truck

Duo could only hope that Wufei's sanity would survive, even with as little sanity as Wufei still possessed. The American was intermittently working on trying to jam OZ's trackers so they wouldn't be able to follow them across country if Trowa failed.

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A Gas Station

30 minutes later.

They finally found the second gas station as per orders from the blonde boy. Duo got out all of his supplies from a hidden compartment from his Gundam and started working on Heero's Gundam right away.

"Don't worry Heero, we are going to trying to get you out ASAP; don't get your spandex in a twist."

"GOD DAMN IT DUO!!! YOU TRY GETTING STUCK IN YOUR GUNDAM WITH NOTHING TO DO AND NO BATHROOM!!!" Heero yelled from inside his Gundam that was still under the tarp to make sure no one would grow suspicious of four traveling Gundams out on the highway.

"Getting stuck in my Gundam wouldn't be so bad since I have a Walkman, a flash light, and books just in case that happens… of course the bathroom would be impossible to do, but still…" Duo replied. "You should be ready for anything Hee-chan; you never know what might happen at a later date."

"Fine, I learned my lesson, now GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!"

"Okay, okay, maybe I should punish you and keep you there longer…!"

"You do that Duo and I swear you will find pink ribbons super glued to your body and your hair dyed pink."

"I will forgive that comment because I understand what type of duress you are under right now."

"DUO!!!"

"Quiet down or else I will never be able to figure this out, alright! You've got quite the locking system on Wing when it's in bird mode!"

Who knew of the day in which Duo would be telling Heero to be quiet?

There was silence for 5 minutes in which time Duo managed to open the latch and suddenly there was a blur of Heero jumping out of the cockpit, clearing the distance to the ground, and running out to go to the bathroom with a gun in his hand saying whoever got in his way would be shot. He would have made it to the restroom had Quatre not intervened from his own truck. …

"Heero, get back here! OZ is on our trail and I need you to finish Duo's job of hacking into OZ's computers and screwing up their trackers..." Quatre commanded. Duo was about to say something but the glare Quatre gave him made him shut up.

"But, but, but…!"

"No `buts' Heero. In the truck!"

Heero sighed in acceptance knowing how important it was to clear the vicinity.

"HALLELUJAH!!! NO MORE HEERO!!!" Duo smirked at Wufei's comment and got into the same truck that had held a very irate Chang Wufei.

"Oh no…"

"Oh yes…!"

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The Transport Truck with Wing and Sand Rock

"Quatre?"

"Yes, Heero?"

"Their trackers were already jammed…"

"I know."

"Then why did you tell me they weren't?"

"Because you wouldn't have listened to me otherwise. We had to get out of there; OZ tracked us there before Duo was able to screw up their system. He succeeded, but they already knew where we were… and I knew you would have rather gone to the bathroom and dealt with OZ at that time, instead of getting out of there and dealing with them later."

"Understood… Wait, how did you know I have to go to the bathroom?!"

"Uuuuhhhh…"

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The Other Transport Truck

"Hey Wu-man…"

"It's WuFEI…"

"Right, anyways Wuffers…"

"WufEI!!"

"Whatever Wuffy, as I was…"

"WUFEI ONNA WUFEI!!!!"

"Riiight, Wu-chan…"

"Please Nataku save me…"

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Previously Mentioned Transport Truck

"…Are we there yet?"

"No."

5 minutes later…

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

5 minutes

"… Are…."

"NO!!"

10 minutes later…

"Quatre, I neeeed the bathrooom!!"

"I know, Heero."

"Really badly!!"

"I know!"

"I…"

"I KNOW!!!!!"

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The Other Transport Truck

"How do you think Q and Hee-chan are doing?"

"I really don't want to know…"

"Aren't you a little curious?"

"NO!!!"

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Previous Truck

"Can't this bloody thing go any faster?!"

"You really want to go faster Heero?"

"YES!!!"

"Fine. You asked for it!"

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Again, the Other Truck

Duo looked into the side view mirror and saw the transport truck with Wing and Sand Rock speeding up to pass on the left. The truck was going at least 180 miles per hour

He could only hope that there wasn't oncoming traffic coming up in Quatre's way…

He spoke too soon.

Neither Duo nor Wufei could believe their eyes! Was that Quatre going off the road at breakneck speed with two Gundams attached to the back?!

The only noise in the cabin of the truck was the hum of the engine as the two watched the other massive transport vessel twist and turn over the unpaved terrain on the far side of the highway.

A strange site…. Was that Quatre going off the road going 180 mph with 2 Gundams attached to the back?

"Oh shit…!"

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Quatre's Truck

"TRAFFIC!!!!!" Heero yelled in Fear.

Quatre then went off road and decided to take a more… scenic route… if that is what you would like to call it.

"Ohshit, ohshit, ohshit, ohshit, ohshit…"

"You asked for it Heero!" Quatre said with an evil glean in his eyes, one that was oddly similar to the look of ZERO-induced insanity.

BumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBumpBump

"I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry…!!"

"MWAHAHAHAAAA!!!"

It was very unlike Quatre to take the scenic route; but was sure one hell of a ride!

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Aforementioned Truck

Duo decided it would be best to send out a prayer for the safety of his Gundam. He had first hand experience with Q going ZERO when he had accidentally tied ribbons to Quatre's violin to tightly when he was trying to decorate it…

He honestly had no idea if the truck would be able to handle it.

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Heero's and Quatre's Truck

Heero didn't think he would be able to handle it either.

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The other One

"Wow, look at them go!"

"Gaping doesn't suit you well, Maxwell."

"It's Duo."

"Sure Maxi pad." Wufei was trying very hard not to smirk, but failing in all of his smugness.

"It's DUO!"

"Sure it is Maxine."

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10 minutes later

"YES, A BATHROOM!!!" Heero ran out of the truck and straight into the gas station to find the bathroom; he would have kissed the floor if he could, but he didn't because of the current situation…one, slight problem…

"Where is the bathroom?" Heero asked one the workers.

"Outside, around the corner, and two doors down." The worker replied monotonously.

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Heero ran outside, around the corner, and went two doors down… only to find it was out of order….

Grumbling but still determined, he went back inside.

"Is there another bathroom? That one is out of order?"

"Outside, around the other corner, and three doors down."

Heero was in too much of a rush to say thank you again… he wouldn't have said thank you in either case, though.

So he went to the other bathroom… … only to find this one overrun with girls… lots of girls… it looked like Relena's fan club on crack.

Heero was in so much pain he had started dancing in his spot in one of those classic 'I got to go pee really badly' dances. With the whole crossing the legs thing and everything. It was becoming too much, he just couldn't handle it anymore. He stalked back inside.

He grabbed the worker by the collar and proceeded to throw him against a wall of Cheetos and Pepsi.

"Where is the Employees bathroom? Tell me now!"

"T-here isn't one sir!" The worker replied shakily.

"What type of place doesn't have an employee's bathroom?"

"Gas stations, sir."

Heero literally growled at the worker, whipped his head around urgently, and finally spotted a tree in a back corner away from prying eyes. Pushing the worker away, he went to the plant, and…. Well, let's say, he 'released' himself there… for a full three minutes…

The one thing he didn't realize in his haste, however, was that, the plant was fake… and therefore there wasn't real soil…. Incidentally, Heero's `release' leaked through the pot, unfortunately… without him realizing what had happened, he left very happily and much more relaxed.

Duo and Wufei, who had been in the convenience store with Heero, finally caught up to the happy Wing pilot; Duo was snickering at Heero, noticing what the other hadn't.

"What's so funny, Duo?"

"Nothing… let's get out of here Hee-man."

Heero shrugged and left the gas station to the outside world.

Quatre was waiting outside for everyone to finish what they wanted to finish up with.

"Alright, we are going to go to the next gas station where we will be meeting up with Trowa. I think Heero scared the locals enough at this one. , Let's re-group there and re-stock on some supplies and rest a bit. We will be meeting Trowa over there also."

That, and Quatre knew that he didn't want to be here once the workers found pee all over the floor… he was really trying not to snicker like Duo who was still a few steps behind Heero so .as to keep him from hearing.

After everyone nodded in agreement, Heero drove with Duo in one truck and Quatre and Wufei drove together in the other. Though they weren't likely to admit to it, neither Quatre nor Wufei wanted to deal with Heero any time soon.

They all left that gas station looking forward to re-stocking and getting something to eat.

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Inside Duo's Truck

"So buddy, how are you doing? You got stuck in there for a long time…"

Heero glanced at the braided driver, knowing that he was going somewhere unpleasant with this… He instinctively started to glare at Duo, knowing the conversation wouldn't lead to anything good.

"We got you out of that Gundam pretty quickly, considering what we had to go through…"

Heero's death glare went up a notch.

Duo smirked… "I think Relena owns a pink Tutu…"

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All the trucks met at the destination mentioned before, all except for Trowa's.

Duo hopped out of his truck with a big ole smirk and a black eye. But he was at least a happy little Duo. Quatre and Wufei could only guess what had happened on the trip.

There was no need for words between them; they all knew what the story was and what the plans were.

Inside the convenience store, Heero grabbed as many snacks, good drinks, soda, a disc man, a few CD's, chips, and anything else that he fancied at that time that his arms could hold to put into his Gundam,. He also took Duo's advice on what magazines were a good read.

He then went outside and placed everything into his Gundam, DIDN'T close the door behind him while storing the items, and finally closed the door to his Gundam once everything was placed and he was OUTSIDE it. He really didn't want a repeat performance.

Once everyone was all happy and relaxed outside the gas station, they noticed that Quatre looked worried.

"What's the matter Q-man?" Duo asked.

"Trowa is missing…"

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Back in Heavy Arms

"INJUTICE!!!"