Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Humanity Aside ❯ Humanity Aside ( One-Shot )

E-mail: Phoenix1015@msn.com

Pairings: 1x2 & 3x4 (Both are implied)

Disclaimer: I am making no money off this. If I were, I probably wouldn't be residing in a cardboard box living on a diet of rame n noodles and glass marbles I believe to be fruit drops. (Ever see Grave of the Fireflies? *winkwink*)

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Duo practically fell into Heero's old room.

"I can't believe he's gon e. First Trowa and now He stopped short as he felt the all too familiar choke of tears threatening to take over him again. I can't do this." He breathed the words out as if they might cut his throat. "I just can't." He dropped to the floor as his knees, once again, betrayed him. "Why do I have t o decide what to do with all his stuff?" While he contemplated the unfairness of things, Duo looked around the room at Heero's old belongings. On one shelf stood dozens of assorted books, mostly the boy's mangas, but there were several fantasy and science fic tion books among them. At the fu rthest end of the shelf sto od the Bible Duo had given Heero after the fire two years ago had destroyed most of his other books . It surprised Duo how worn out and thin it looked. He hadn't thought Heero would ever use the black leather bound book. B u t, then again, with the scars he had carried, it was no wonder why.

In front of the Bible, Heero had laid a second gift from Duo . The Rosary was plain with no decoration whatsoever. Upon seeing it, Duo instinctively grabbed at the platinum cross hanging around his own neck. After a moment of simply holding it, he brought the little symbol of faith up to his eyes. All he could do was stare at it as a lump started to grow again in the back of his throat. A thin line of blood was still dried in one of the crevices. Abruptly, he dropped the cross. The teen closed his eyes wearily when he felt the weight of it tug at the end of the chain as gravity snapped it back down.

There seemed to be nowhere in this room Duo could look. Everything reminded him of the times past. The re was even a picture of the five of the pilots that had been taken shortly after the first war had finally ended. None of them had really loosened up much at that point, but there was still room for a smile on most of the faces there, if not all (it was hard for Duo to tell for sure if some of them were smiling or not).

Now, a second one of them was gone. Instead of five Gundam pilots, there were only three . "Two down, three to go," Duo breathed again. It had only been a year since they had won independence for the colonies, but the people they had defended had already forgotten their sacrifice. That sacrifice had not really been the broken bones and lost sleep. It had been more the sacrifice of their childhood-t hey had each left to put Operation Meter into effect at fifteen. They had started training even earlier than that. The loss of their innocence was also prominent in his mind. But the biggest s acrifice of all had been one that none of them could really point out until Heero had- the loss of their own humanity. Duo could still remember just how the prussian blue eyes looked as the boy had said it. " People say the ultimate sacrifice is life. People have always said it. But people tend to be ignorant of the things that are far worse- they can't or won't think of all the other sacrifices there are to be made. Those few who do are often in disagreement about what this 'ultimate sacrifice' is. Here's what I think: Humanity. To lose your humanity is indeed to become something less than human. And in our case, our lack of humanity has made us take what those innocent and na ï ve few believe to be the greatest sacrifice..." H e had said more, gone on to talk about other issues that Duo had gone and bitched to him about, but that was all Duo could really remember.

I suppose death is really the only release someone like us can find , Duo observed distastefully . It's a shame really , He thought to himself as he eyed the gun on Heero's desk in silent consideration. He walked over to the oak desk and stared at the silver-colored metal. He shouldn't leave things like this lying out for the world to see. What if some desperate soul was to find it? He ran his fingers down the length of the barrel, enjoying the cool smoothness of the perfect mix of alloys it took to make a masterpiece like this. What if some hopeless fool was to come in here and see it and think 'This is it. The end to all my trouble.'? What then? How would you feel if you were responsible for the life of someone like that and then BAM ! i t' s over? Would you feel guilty? Would you curse your carelessness? What? What would you feel?
par
Duo? Are you okay? A quiet voice startled Duo out of his unspoken musings.

Uh, Duo sniffed. Yeah. I think so. He took the gun and shoved it in the waistband of his over-sized pants. He pulled his shirt further down to hide the bulge of the firearm at his hip as he spun around to face the person responsible for the intrusion.

Are you sure? Quatre's voice was filled with worry.

Yes, Quatre, I'm fine. Duo tried to sound like he meant it.

If you need anything

I'm fine. Duo cut Quatre short in a voice that clearly displayed his desire to be left alone.

I'm sorry, Duo. The blonde seemed unperturbed by his fellow pilot's curtness. I know what you're going through. I had to go through it too, when Trowa The hushed voice seemed unable to continue.

Duo shook his head. I know, Quat, I know. His voice no longer held the slight contempt it had a moment ago. I just I don't know Duo found he couldn't find an effective way of putting what he was feeling into words.

It's okay. Quatre took braided-pilot's hand. Duo sighed and allowed himself to be led to the living room couch. Everything will be fine. Quatre's whispered comfort was of no value to Duo. The only thing that was a comfort right now was the weight of the handgun that rested on his hip.

Looks like I missed my opportune moment. Oh, well. I am the god of death. I can always find a better time, Duo thought . Later . Later will be better for me .

~Owari