Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Shinigami's Stage; Behind the Jester's Mask ❯ Chapter thirteen ( Chapter 13 )

Date posted: Tuesday, June 28, 2005. Yay! We are back to where we started before kicked me off.
Chapter warnings: ANGST. A dark chapter, little humor.
Pairings: 1x2/2x1 : 3x4 : 5x: (Solo)x(Johnathan)x(Nataku) : Implied 2+(Harry), 2+ (Solo)x(Johnathan)x(Nataku) --Does that make you fell better?--

Shinigami's Stage: Behind the Jester's Mask
By: Mira Watanabe “Hey, Duo.”

“Huh?”

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m here. I promise I won’t run away.”

Duo wanted to morbidly say that everyone has to go away some time but chose to chuckle instead, “I’m fine.”

Harry ignored him, “It’s getting worst. The nightmares.” It wasn’t a question but a flat out statement.

A moment, “Yeah.”

“It’s not because of you-know-what. I could tell because it started before Solo said anything about the Family Reunion.” Duo waited and Harry continued, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s just a dream...” Duo hugged Chi close, and that was all he said as sleep took over.

A silent brown-blond haired man stood in the shadows as he watched the scene before him. Green eyes watched as sleep took control of his little brother’s face but didn’t grant the long-haired man the peace he sought. A deep sorrow darkened the green eyes to see such pain brought upon the other man and refuse to grant release even in dreams where peace should be even if the world was ending.

Small unnoticeable groans of pain from Duo were only heard to those looking for the sound and knew the clues to look for. Harry’s face was drowned in sadness as he witnessed another nightmare. He should have been used to this nightly occurrence, but it still pained him greatly. Chi was looking at him without a sound with her face washed in tears; her head resting on Duo as he still held her within his arms protectively. Both men knew it was wise not to take her from him while he was having a dream or asleep for that matter. Chi never made a sound during these transgressions when she would normally cry if her daddy was in any pain. She would simple be there and wait it all out. The same with Solo and Harry and the other 100-something Family members.

They watched helplessly as Duo cried in his sleep and try to hide his face in Chi’s caramel hair. Solo felt utterly useless and a strong pain grabbed his heart. He came out of the shadows and approached Duo but did nothing more. He couldn’t do anything more but watch and wait for it to end.

Harry spotted him but said nothing.

“Number?” the word was strangled out of his mouth in a choked dread.

“Fifth time tonight. They are starting to happen more frequently. How he is able to go about everyday like it’s nothing is beyond me… Solo… I don’t know what to do Nighttime duty anymore… I hate this. I hate this helplessness I have, but most of all I hate him being in this much pain. Look at him,” he voice was raising but he caught it and took a slow breath to calm down. In a lower whisper, “Look at him. Look at this. Look at what is happening. I’m afraid he won’t last this torture much longer Solo.”

Solo nodded his agreement as he came closer to Duo. It was then that he saw Chi was holding one of her daddy’s fingers in her tinny grasp as Solo brushed sweat-coated bangs from eyes tighten in pain. Chi watched Solo wearily, pleading with her eyes to help her daddy. Solo gave her lost expression.

Being daring, Solo gently picked Duo and Chi into his arms.

Harry abrupt sat up in alarm, “Solo do you think that is wise? He is in a middle of a nightmare. He could wake up and hurt you or himself without thought.”

Solo was obvious to Harry’s concern for all his attention was on the broken man in his arms, a man who wasn’t disturbed or waken much to Harry and his relief. An unknown tension was released at this but started up again in an even worst state as Solo moved up the stairs and around the sitting room to his own bedroom. A nervous Harry trailed behind to make sure everything went well.

The two large cats slept on the sitting room’s couches ignorant to the ongoing of the house this late at night as Solo went around them. The bedroom door was already opened and left that way when Solo has snuck out to check on Duo’s condition.

Johnathan and Nataku were sitting up in the overly large king sized bed as they waited for their partner. Neither of them said a word at seeing Solo bring in Duo and Chi; it was a normal occurrence and highly expected most of the time than not.

Nataku slipped from the bed and help his love tuck in their new bed partners for the night.

Harry stayed by the door looking worried, “Duo is not going to like this when he wakes up.”

Solo grunted, “Like I care. As long as I feel he is safe.”

“I’m guessing I’m done with Nighttime duty tonight.”

Solo made a whatever-type of fluster with his hands, “Duo will be sleeping here for the remainder of the week.”

“You can kiss off if you think I’m leaving tomorrow just because I don’t have to watch him at nights anymore. Duo will defiantly object to being bossed around no matter who is doing the bossing, Solo,” Harry made it known he was angry.

Solo sighed, not ready to argue, “Yeah I know.” That defiantly took the wind out of Harry’s sails.

Duo was lying on his side with his back cradled by Johnathan who was gently petting his head to calm him down a little bit. Duo whimpered in his sleep as his body trembled like a leaf blowing in autumn’s harsh winds.

Harry watched as Solo climbed in bed with Nataku following behind to spoon against his back. This was going to be a long week, and to think it just began. The road looked dreary and harsh ahead.

Harry wanted to object to them for taking Duo away, but knew he had no right or claim to the man what-so-every. These three men deserved to have Duo with them. They were there when… they were there. And he just came along later to become part of this dark tapestry of pain and loss. He had no right or claim. He shouldn’t still be there for that matter. He should have dropped out with dignity, but he was trapped. Duo had enslaved him without thought and without knowing. Duo had enslaved them all, and Harry will be damned if left now.

He blames himself for some of the pain the man goes through everyday. Solo blames himself for not being there on time, but Harry felt he had wronged the man more.

The scene before Harry was so serine that he felt like an intruder in their mists. They were unaware of him, all their eyes were closed. Nataku stroked Solo’s blanket covered shoulder. Solo stoked Duo’s and Johnathan petted Duo’s hair. Chi and Duo was blissfully asleep finally as his nightmare settled down and lost its grip on him. There was a familiar warmth in the group; the warmth of a family.

Harry remembered the stories Tasha told of from when they were running though the dirty streets of L2 as they tried to survive just one more day. He remembered the nostalgia looks the other small few from the old gang Solo had pushed together as they told of nights spent together in one huge sleeping doggy pile used for warmth agents the cold night and comfort from the loneliness threatening to drive them to suicide. He remembered that every four to five months a small portion of the Fam would all gather into a room to lay just like that in Duo’s room across the hall. Orphans brought together and united into one misfitted, outcausted Family.

Harry was part of this family, but he knew he would never have what these four did. He gave a small wistful smile. Yeah, he knew he would never have what they had. Perhaps he knew that from the very beginning. Maybe that is why he sot love else where with Nicholas Blackbird.

He would never be part of them, but someone else could…

Harry slipped from the surreal scene and closed the door behind him. He only hopes Solo’s plan works for the better, or so help him God, there will be hell to pay.

:.: Chapter Thirteen :.:
Day Four of the Reunion

Saturday, May 29, AC 201
Age: 21

………………………… ;……………….

It was a surprisingly warm morning as everyone creped reluctantly from their covers to start the day’s activities. The sun was out and the birds were deliberately trying to be annoying (or at lest that is what they presumed). The morning light peeked threw the curtains like curious imps to shine on the closed eyes of the adults who stubbornly refuse to wake up to the birds calling. Reluctantly getting dressed in a slow deliberate manner everyone when down stairs for some much needed booster food.

It took a while for their foggy-hazed mind to realize that Duo, Solo, nor Nataku were there presently. Johnathan and Harry didn’t say anything so they presumed that it had something to do with the upcoming event.

Currently, Johnathan was lying on the couch with little Chi Maxwell on his stomach tiring to find his heartbeat. She laughed merrily when she found it. Harry laid curled up in his futon on the floor, stubbornly refusing to greet the blasted day like everyone else and made a loud snore to emphasize his point…. Okay so he was just asleep.

Johnathan lifted a pillow off the floor and chugged it with all his might at him. Harry made a snort-snore kind of sound before turning to his side with his back facing his attacker before hiding under his blanket and pillow. Chi had her ear on Johnathan’s chest the whole time; listening intently.

The guest shook their heads in various stages of amusement. They were already drawn into the family, so completely and utterly dissolved into their close-net love that they couldn’t help but feel that they were indeed all Family. It was like this group of strangers came out of the blue and claimed them as their own and held them within their vice-like grasps until they gave up and surrendered. The household was so full of warmth, love, and fun. It was hard to resist joining in.

Chi spotted Heero and cried happily, “Hela! HEEELA!” She crawled over Johnathan’s head as she tried to get to the bed-haired man.

Johnathan laughed… or muffled a bit, before prying Chi off his face, “Heero, she wants you.”

“Heela!” Chi called with her hands outstretched to him in a silent plea.

Heero smiled and picked her up. She kissed his cheek, “luv you Heela.”

Heero kissed her forehead and she gave him a smile brighter than the sun itself. He pulled on one of her piggy tails and she giggled. It was then that he noticed a blue bandage on her forearm. He looked down to Johnathan questionly (meaning he only lifted one eyebrow).

Johnathan only shrugged, “She had to get a shot today or she’ll be crying throughout the concert.”

Heero nodded as Chi avidly tried to eat a clump of his hair – preferably the big poky one between his beautiful Persian-blue eyes. Wha? It looks like chocolate stuff. What if it tasted like it also? She just had to try it and find out!

Harry shook his head and a piece of hair brushed under her little nose and she squealed delightfully. Everyone laughed but Harry still snored blissfully.

The cats were about today. Rasha was perched in front of Trowa, just staring at him. She was probably the first and only cat to make him nervous, and she rivaled in a gleeful glory. Bagheera was practically invisible to all as he somehow ended up lying on Harry watching the telly – his tail swishing back and forth and hitting his human-pillow every once and a while. Harry sneezed and battered thin air a few times but otherwise still refused to wake. If cats could grin, Bagheera was probably the first to come so close to it.

“Where are the others and do you know when they’ll be back?” Quatre sipped his heavily sugared tea.

Johnathan looked up and over the couch backwards to get a good look at the man sitting in the breakfast nook, “They left a few hours ago, early morning, to see the family psychiatrist that is in the area. They should be back any minute.”

“Wait,” Quatre said startled, “A psychiatrist?”

Johnathan simply smiled like any of the others in the Fam did when there was something they couldn’t or wouldn’t say.

A car was heard pulling into the driveway and Heero and Johnathan went to the foyer to greet the others. The slam of a car door was quickly followed by the front door flying open and a Duo zooming upstairs. A distressed Solo followed close behind, “DUO WAIT!”

Johnathan looked up the stairs as a bedroom door was slammed closed and banging was heard on said door with Solo’s voice pleading to be let in to made whatever when wrong right again. Johnathan let out a dreadful, “Oh shit.” Nataku entered the house then and gentility closed the door behind him, “Shit.”

Without delay or any more hesitation, Johnathan was up the stairs two by two with Heero and Nataku behind.

“Duo let me in!” Solo cried, “Please, Duo!” He fell to the floor with his arms still on the door weakly pounding, “Please….” A sniff was barely heard, “please…let me in…”

Johnathan scooped up the green eyed man who refused to be held but was easily covered into the other’s arms and warm embrace. Solo hid his face on Johnathan’s neck, “Why,” came his broken question so full of sorrow.

“Shhh…” the doctor soothed, “You knew this was going to be hard on him.”

Bright green tear-filled eyes looked up at him like a helpless child needing to be reassure, “Did I do the right thing? Was it wrong to start this reunion even though I wasn’t positive he was ready? Was it wrong for me to do all this with little warning? What happens if what I’ve done completely breaks him! What will happen if I’ve driven him so completely under the Mask that it becomes impossible to pull him out again! What happens if…. What happens if ‘It’ happens again! What would I do with myself! I don’t think I could go through that again Johnny! I don’t think I could live with myself if-if…. Oh GOD! I’ve failed again… I’ve failed…”

Nataku was shaking his head as he came to his loves’ side, “No Shadow, you didn’t fail. What you did was right. It is time to stop the running. We know that, the Fam knows that… Even Duo sees it is time, but that still doesn’t mean it won’t hurt.”

“I don’t want Duo to hurt,” Solo sniffed with his face still half hidden with tears falling like small waterfalls down his cheeks.

Johnathan shook his head, “Sometimes, Shadow-koi, it is the pain that tells us we are still living, and it is living that helps us heal the pain.”

“You broke down the mask again, didn’t you?” Nataku said solemnly.

Solo looked stricken, “Yeah…”

“Come Koi, let’s wash your face, Duo will come out in due time,” Johnathan carried Solo to their bedroom since Duo took residents in his own sanctuary and Nataku trailed behind them. The proud man Heero saw at the Preventers’ meeting, in what felt like was eons ago, the man that had only one objective in mind; the quick to party, fun-filled man he meet at the airport who looked ready to… okay who did open his arms up and welcome (a bit too enthusiastically) them into the Family, has shown him another side of himself. A vulnerable side felled with doubt and worry.

Heero was left forgotten with Chi in his arms as he stared at the closed door to Duo’s room; a room that Heero has resided in since he entered this home of surprise and mystery. He looked at the closed door and it suddenly felt very cold and lonely.

End Chapter: To Be Continued. Annoying Author's Notes:

So sad….. Anyway, I finally caught up on my written things! Now I don’t have to worry about notebook paper! I’m soooo happy! All I have to do is write it out here and type it up! I believe this will make updates quicker and funnier on my part, and happier (mostly) on your part.

I finally know what authors mean when they say that stories write themselves, or that the characters write the stories themselves, because I have little mind of where these Idiots are taking me. I have all the answers to the clues, all the big place for these characters to go, and all the hardships they are to follow, but I do not know their reactions to things until it happens. I do not know the little details to scenes or every word out of their mouth. This is actually fun for once in a long time! I mean I love to read things, and it is like this story isn’t even mine! (I’m still claiming it since I still have to sit here and type it!)

My muse is back after a long vacation. They are not very active though without the inspiration monster. More like my muses are sitting next to my computer giving me blank looks.(—blink, blink--) Like I’m the one going to do a trick for them not the other way around…. Maybe if I do a trick they will help me out… hummm…. (--runs around crazy---) Bwahahahahah!

I found the cure to my small writer’s block. Watch anime! I was watching Inuyasha. God I haven’t done that in a long time. I was watching episodes 141-158 today. I thought that episode 158 was the end but it ends up I forgot to download 159-167 from oops. Tee hee, now I have to wait three days for them to completely download, pooot.

Oh well, I feel that I am on the roll with this writing thing and I don’t want it to go to waist.

I was thinking about redoing my Inuyasha fan fiction, “Meeting Dad,” after I’ve finished up with this story here. It would be fun since I have a few new ideas to toss in. I also want to start HUSH as my next Gundam Wing fan fiction, but I’m still weary of the plot.

God only twelve more days to this twisted story. I only have four days done! I’ve gots to get typing, so many things to get to. Although I did give a little too many clues away in this chapter. Shit. But I tried to hid everything well enough to keep you guessing. Everyone seems to enjoy Chi as much as I do! (--runs around crazy---) Bwahahahahah! The biggest question seems to be, WHO IS CHI’S MOTHER? (--evil grin--) Wouldn’t you like to know, oh yes you would!

Another thing is, too much DuoxSolo and DuoxHarry and too little Duo and Heero. Sorry guys! But this is how I feel that Duo would react after what happened in the past. I mean Heero left guys, really. I wouldn’t trust him too much after that. And considering the past and all… hee hee, well you’ll just have to find out.

Yet another thing, wouldn’t you not leave someone’s side when you find out the person you thought was dead ( a person whom you thought died in your arms) was suddenly alive again? I mean Solo “died” in 187 AC. The end of the Eve war (the GW movie) was about in 197 AC. Then the two years that Duo spent with Heero; that ended in 199 AC… That is over 12 years Duo thought Solo was dead and Duo was 7 when it happened! I mean being 7, alone on a filthy place like L2, and have your best friend die on you leaves a big mark no matter who you are.

Have any problems with that, give me a better and more reasonable argument than that and I’ll fight you. Grrrrrr…

And how is Solo still alive… well we will get to that later…(--evil grin--)

Review mark: I want to be evil and say 130... What? Hell, I don't even have the next chapter. Never made it before. All I have is the outline of the following week and even that isn't much.

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