Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ So, You've Fallen into the World of Gundam Wing... ❯ Chapter 3 ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Welcome to Chapter Three!
In this Chapter we are going to cover the various situations that some of you may find yourselves in. Though due to cutbacks we shall regretfully be unable to cover Shark Attacks, Bear Attacks, Moose Attacks, Food Poisoning, Stalker Issues and Deadly Prawn Attacks. If you would like to forward any complaints please leave a message via e-mail for our sponsers.
So, you're in mortal peril. The first step is to remain calm, calm like a big blue ocean. Think of thatbig CALM blue ocean, blue sky above and nothing to trouble you... Oh heck, who're we kidding you're probably screaming in terror and gabbling about strange portals of how much you love the person in question. Right now you're probably willing to sell a significant family member in an attempt to get out of there.
But it doesn't have to be that way. You can do two things
1) "Plead the fifth" for those of you that don't know what that is...- v. To decline to give self-incriminating information. Refers to the fifth amendment of the US Constitution, which states that no citizen "shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself..."
(source: Urban Dictionary)

2) Declare yourself crazy. You can get away with murder... Quite literally in some cases... Not that I'm condoning murder here you understand. The world would suffer a terrible loss if our favourite Pink Princess were to befall some terrible accident. Besides, they can do you for regicide (Your new word of the day!)

Mobile doll attacks are easily avoided. Attach yourself to a well know character, never ever be "citizen number 4" you're basically cannon fodder. Likewise with rebellions, make a note of not wearing the dress of the opposing sides, if in doubt don a beret and scream "VIVE LA RESISTANCE!" You should be able to get away with it if you scramble quick enough.
Held at Gunpoint by Heero Yuy/Yui?
Damn. Well, just, well damn! Don't look at me, I'm not a miracle worker. You probably got into ths position really easily... Um... apologise in as many languages as you can think off, try to appear non threatening and claim Relena will be very, very upset if she finds out you're dead. Then pray.
Commenting on Chang Wufei?
Foolish person. The less said about him in/around or just anything said about him really shouldn't be said. Remember young grasshopper, even the walls have ears! Don't be ninja about it, apologise, grovel, appeal to his sense of dignity and gentlmanly-ness... and then think about your specific religion really hard.
Playing with Trowa Barton's Lions...
Ahem. Why? Thats just naughty. Really I'm beggning to wonder what kind of people buy this book.... Throw them a steak, walk back slowly and don't make eye contact. Climb something high then scream for Trowa... Which is what you wanted all along really, isn't it?
Duo's Braid
Oh dear, we covered this. You know what it means. Apologise, let him spill his story then comfort him.. And don't take advantage of his emotional vunerability... Much.
Quatre Raberba Winner
Goodness! I don't know what kind os situation you must have... Wait... Oh dear. Well Run. Run like hell and don't look back, maybe he'll calm down. Or pass out, he's delicate bless him.
Thus concludes this chapter, the authoress apologises for the lateness of the installment but hopes to catch up soon. The next chapter will be concerning "Relena; Queen of the World" Because you need all the background information you can gather... You must be strong to defeat your enemy.
Ahem, feel free to leave feedback It pushes me along. As an added bonus here is the thing that has taken up what little free time I've had recently...
http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a223/omi_kone/wings.jpg Done on a3 paper with acrylics
Have you or any of those around you been affected by any of the topics covered in this section of the booklet? If so please feel free to leave a review, these are available 24/7...