Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Stereotypical Insanity ❯ Here We Go! ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Stereotypical Insanity

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Author: C-Chan

Pairings: 1x2, 3x4x5

Warnings: This is a self-insert fic, so if you don't like them, I suggest you go away. Also, there is YAOI, as in….Guys kissing, groping, etc guys. You don't like that, once again, go away. So! Altogether, your warnings are: Self-insert, yaoi, cursing, and of course, humor.

Notes: This is actually my first GW fic. And although I would love to write a serious fic one day, this one just wouldn't leave me alone. This fic doesn't exactly bash Mary-Sues, but it sure as hell makes fun of them, and the stereotypes used in their fics, as well as some yaoi fics out there. So! Sit back, relax, and I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1 - Here We Go!

The sound of typing and cackling could be heard from the upstairs bedroom, but Bobby ignored it. He was used to his sister's tendencies to start acting wonky when she stumbled upon "Good!Fic" as she called it. Shaking his head, the 12-year-old turned up the TV and grumbled to himself. "Freakin' weirdo..."

Upstairs, however, the cackling stopped abruptly. Alex Summers smirked as she scrolled through what she had written, murmuring agreements with her favorite parts.

"Boy, how I love this fandom..." She whispered, saving her work.

***

Elsewhere--across to the country to be specific, but we're not worrying about that now--a blonde-haired girl cursed loudly and glared at the screen. "What's with all these fics lately?! I've never seen so many stereotypes used in my life! Gah!"

Sitting back in her chair, Cassie rubbed at her temples. "Where are all the good stories? I'm tired of the 'Perfect Soldier' and 'Ranting Dragon' and 'Blabbering Baka'!"

"God, I'm almost afraid to see what new kind of stuff pops up on the site the next time I check," the blonde continued, bringing up another webpage. She sighed happily. "Ah, Good!Fic. Finally, something that doesn't make me twitch..."

***

Elsewhere---not even in the same dimension, technically--A group of five teenage boys converged in a safe house just outside of England, glad to be free of the missions that had taken up the past few months.

"Man, I'm SO glad that's all over!" Duo Maxwell exclaimed as he collapsed on the plush couch in the living room, laying his arm over his eyes. "Three weeks of peace and quiet!"

"Hn," Heero Yuy grinned. "It IS nice to not have to worry about missions for a while." He joined the braided boy on the couch, his grin widening as Duo leaned over to give him a soft kiss.

"Very nice," Duo murmured, smiling and tangling his hands in Heero's unruly hair.

"Maxwell, Yuy, I do hope you're going to perform your 'greetings' somewhere a bit more private," Chang Wufei said from the doorway, a small smirk on his face. Trowa Barton and Quatre Raberba Winner stood behind him, the former with a raised eyebrow and the latter with a smile on his face.

"Aww, does that mean you don't want to watch, 'Fei?" Duo teased, and Heero snorted.

"I'm honored, but I think I'll pass," Wufei replied dryly, walking past them and to the stairs. "What I want right now is a nice, long nap."

"A nap WOULD be nice," Quatre said, tugging on Trowa's hand and following the Chinese pilot.

Trowa smirked slightly and followed the blonde obediently. "After we've finished our 'greetings', of course." He said to the couple before the three pilots disappeared up the stairs.

Duo snickered. "We know they'll be gone the rest of the day," He said to his lover, turning to grin at him--

--Then yelped as Heero pounced him, straddling his legs and kissing him deeply. Duo sank into the kiss, his arms coming up to circle Heero's neck.

Duo broke the kiss and grinned up at Heero. "Greetings," He purred.

"Greetings," Heero replied huskily, then bent down to claim his lips again.

***

Cassie sighed happily again, sitting back in her chair and removing her glasses. "Ah, I love fics like this. Not too sappy, not fluffy enough to make you gag, and the right amount of humor." She said softly, rubbing at her eyes. She turned to glance at the clock on her desk, sighing again. "And if I want to be coherent enough for class tomorrow, I'd better get in bed."

Glancing back at her screen, she paused; What would a few more hours hurt? She had class late in the afternoon, and the only reason she was getting up early was to read more of the fic...

"Oh, gee," She said, deadpanned. "Seeing as that I cannot sleep, I guess I could continue reading," Breaking off into giggles, she eagerly dove back into the story.

Hours passed, and soon it was nearing 2 in the morning. Cassie stifled a yawn behind her hand and blearily stared at the screen. "Five chapters left, maybe *yawn* I should just hold off until later."

~~~

Alex booted up her computer with a long yawn, then opened the word document she had been typing that night. Re-reading the last few chapters, she smirked. "Oh Heero, how I love thee. Let me count the ways..." She said with a dreamy expression, then began to type.

~~~

Heero and Duo laid tangled heap on Duo's bed, cuddling and kissing softly. Heero raised his hand to brush Duo's soft bangs from his face, a small smile spreading across his face. "I love you," He said softly, bending down to kiss him.

"Mm. Love you too," Duo replied, smiling sleepily. He broke off into a yawn, and Heero chuckled as the braided pilot snuggled close.

Tightening his arms around his lover, Heero let himself drift off to the land of dreams, looking forward to waking up the next morning.

What he didn't know was that in approximately 15 minutes, his, Duo's, and hell--everyone's world was about to turn upside down.

***

Dozing lightly, Cassie popped open one eye as a popup appeared on her screen, advertising some sort of weird spray-on hair for men. Grumbling, she closed the window and returned to her dozing, hand still resting on the mouse.

Another one popped-up and she absently maneuvered her mouse to click out of it. Unfortunately, she clicked the picture-link instead, causing her screen to go blue.

Cursing, Cassie came semi-fully awake. "Aw, man! Blue Screen of Death!" She wailed, glaring at the screen. She pushed the mouse back and forth a few times, hoping the screen would go away on its own.

No such luck.

"Yeah, F you too." She muttered, reaching for the magical keys known as "ctrl, alt, and delete". As her finger hovered over the last button, her screen began to blink. Rapidly.

"Huh?" She said intelligently, pausing and tilting her head. Well, that was weird. She never had a blinking Blue Screen of Death before. Was it a virus?

Pursing her lips, Cass uttered a curse and pressed the three buttons simultaneously. She expected the laptop to shut down like a good little device. She expected the screen to go black, so she could reboot and run a quick scandisk before returning to her fic.

She wasn't expecting the screen to start blinking faster.

She blanched as a swirling...vortex appeared on her screen, and seemed to pull her towards it...

Oh, great. She thought to herself, bracing her hands on the desk. This has to be the weirdest dream I've ever had. No more late nights for me!

A yelp broke the silence of the room as she was literally sucked in to her laptop, and the laptop seemed to suck into itself.

Once everything calmed down, the only thing left were Cassie's glasses.

***

"----AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Breaking the silence of the room and jarring the couple awake, they reacted just in time to move from the center of the bed as something flopped onto it. It bounced right over Duo and onto the floor, resulting with an unhealthy-sounding THUD and a loud "FUCK!"

Duo and Heero blinked at each other, totally unprepared for that. They peeked over the bed, senses alert as they watched something squirming on the floor. It was obviously a person, and as their eyes adjusted to the darkness, they recognized the figure as a girl. A very...colorful girl.

"It's always me, damnit," She was muttering, rubbing her head. "Fucking karma is always after me, never leaves me the hell alone..."

"Incoming," Heero said softly, reaching over Duo's head to catch a small laptop before it could maim his lover. Duo glanced up, raised an eyebrow, then looked down at the girl.

Who was still muttering to herself.

"Uhhh..." Duo spoke up, sitting up very slowly and swinging his legs off the bed; he thanked god that he was still dressed.

The girl paused and glanced up. Eyes narrowing, she asked in a very nasty voice: "Brat, if that's you I'm going to murder you for coming into my room!"

"Brat?!" Duo squeaked, indignant. He furrowed his brows and climbed to the floor to sit in front of the girl, staring at her with narrow eyes. "Who the hell are you calling brat?! And you're in our room!"

Taken back, the girl blinked. "You're not the brat," She stated, then leaned a bit closer as she started to recognize some of Duo's features.

They stared at each other for a few minutes, Heero watching, tense and oddly amused.

They stared some more.

Then, the girl let out an ear-piercing scream, which was quickly followed by a loud yell from the braided-pilot.