Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Hard Working Life of the Gundam Pilots ❯ Mail Call ( Chapter 2 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: Yasashii 
Duo, our bright and cheery little Shinigami, has one of the easiest jobs there is....or is it?
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.29.2001 | Pages: 2 | Words: 998 | Visits: 255 | Status: Completed
Duo, our bright and cheery little Shinigami, has one of the easiest jobs there is....or is it?
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 08.29.2001 | Pages: 2 | Words: 998 | Visits: 255 | Status: Completed
Hard Working Life of the Gundam Pilots02
by: Yasashii 'the aggressive kitsune'
Disclaimers:Do I have to go through this crap again? We all know who the characters belong to,
and it sure ain't me!
Rated:PG for language
NOTE: There is no Relena-bashing this time around, sorry folks. I know you're so disappointed.
Anyway, it's Duo's turn to be tortured by yours truly. Have fun! Ja!
~Yasashii =)
*************************************************************** ****************
02- Shinigami's Mission
The scene is set on a bright, sunny afternoon on a typical, rich neighborhood block.
We see Duo Maxwell standing at one end of the block wearing a blue mailman outfit with a big sack
of mail slung over his shoulder. His mission: to deliver the mail to everyone without killing any
animals.
Duo: Hn. Must deliver mail. The God of Death was never meant to be a mailman.
So, our mailboy went to every house and dutifully put the mail in each mailbox and
finished in five minutes. The End(not! That was no fun! Let's backtrack and make Deathboy
deliver the mail the hard way.)
Duo walked up to the first of five houses on the block. At the front yard, we see a sign.
Duo: 'Beware of..........Snake.' What!? That's gotta be some kinda joke or somethin.
So, our 'hero' walks up the sidewalk and is about to reach the mailbox when he is suddenly
pulled to the ground by his ankle.
Duo: What the Hell....(sees BIG snake looming over him) Kisama! Get away from me, you overgrown
tube sock!(quickly reads name tag around snake's neck) 'Sam the Snake?'
Sam: Yesss?
Duo:(flailing his arms about while Sam is still wrapped around his leg) Get me out of here!!!
Sam: The sssign sssaid to beware, but you didn't lisssten. Now I'm afraid I mussst sssqueezzzze
you to death.
Duo: But,but,but........you can't kill someone in the U.S. Postal Service!
Sam: You're the mailman?
Duo: Yes! For God's sake, let me go!
Sam: You didn't read the fine print. Mailmen are alwaysss admitted here. Have a niccce day.
(slinks away)
Duo delivers the mail and moves on. He didn't have a whole lot of trouble at the next
three houses, if you don't count a slobbering St. Bernard, four pitbulls, and a cougar a lot of
trouble. By the time he reached the last house he was almost afraid of what he would find on the
other side of the gate.
Duo: It can't be any worse than the cougar.(opens the gate and sees a dog no taller than his ankle
and could be best described as a walking rug) It's a puny dog!(bursts out laughing) Oh, man, this
is a hoot! I went through all of that just to face a pint sized mutt!(rolls on the ground,
laughing and crying at the same time)
After about ten minutes, Duo found the strength to stand and he walked through the gate to
get to the mailbox by the door. The 'rug with fangs'(affectionately called Fifi on its collar)
leaped at Duo's legs and began biting him as furiously as it could muster.
Duo: Yipes! Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff!(kicks Fifi away and leaps over the gate to get away)
There's gotta be a way around the dog.(Ha-ha. Guess what? There isn't one!)
Our beloved Duo tried everything to get 'around' Fifi. He tried flying over it with
homemade wings, but he hit the side wall of the house and got attacked again. He tried jumping
over, but Fifi stepped on the spring and poor Duo got stuck there. He couldn't shoot the dog, as
was instructed in his mission log. He tried stilts, but the dog has teeth that knawed the stilts
down to nothing in five seconds. There was only one thing left that he could do.
(Duo is standing ready at the gate, wearing steel-plated armor on every inch of his body. Fifi is
on the other side,fangs showing and ready to bite at anything that moves.)
Duo: (in a somewhat muffled voice because of the armor) After I deliver the mail, Shinigami will
take you to Hell, bloodsucking rug.(Fifi growls)('I Will Survive' begins to play in the background)
CLOMP! CHING! CLOMP! CHING! The metallic footsteps come closer and closer to the
mailbox. Fifi leaps up and takes hold of Duo's mail sack with his teeth in a futile attempt to
stop him. Nothing can get in Deathboy's way now! He's at the home stretch..........he reaches..
................................and the front door swings open and knocks Duo to the ground,
scattering the mail everywhere. Dr.G comes out and picks up the mail at his feet, apparently not
knowing or caring why a strange looking person wearing armor was sprawled all over his lawn.
Dr.G:(looks at letter) At last! I've been waiting for my Mad Scientist Club Member Card(tm) to
come in. (sees Duo on the ground) Ah, you're the fifth mailman Fifi has gone through this week.
Duo: Oro?(blinks, looks at Fifi, who is now sleeping on the front porch)
Dr.G: Howard said he wouldn't be a good guard dog because he's so little, but what does Howard
know?(goes inside house)
Duo:(throws helmet on the ground, which makes a dent) I quit! ( clomps off into the sunset)
End..........until next time
D uo: Wait! There's gonna be a next time?! NNNNNNOOOOOOO! Someone call the mental institution!
Yasashii: Come on, I'm not that bad. I'm just a little insane.
Duo: You're terrible at writing! I wasn't in character at all!
Yasashii: Oh, you were too.
Duo: Was not!
Yasashii: Was too!
WAS NOT!
WAS TOO!
WAS NOT!
WAS TOO!
WAS NOT!
WAS TOO!
WAS NOT!
WAS TOO!
WAS NOT!!
Yasashii: (stuffs Duo's braid into his mouth to shut him up, which was very effective) HE'S not in
it next time!(pouts a bit, then give audience a crazy, demented smile) Oh, well! Till next time,
my amigos!
~Yasashii
by: Yasashii 'the aggressive kitsune'
Disclaimers:Do I have to go through this crap again? We all know who the characters belong to,
and it sure ain't me!
Rated:PG for language
NOTE: There is no Relena-bashing this time around, sorry folks. I know you're so disappointed.
Anyway, it's Duo's turn to be tortured by yours truly. Have fun! Ja!
~Yasashii =)
*************************************************************** ****************
02- Shinigami's Mission
The scene is set on a bright, sunny afternoon on a typical, rich neighborhood block.
We see Duo Maxwell standing at one end of the block wearing a blue mailman outfit with a big sack
of mail slung over his shoulder. His mission: to deliver the mail to everyone without killing any
animals.
Duo: Hn. Must deliver mail. The God of Death was never meant to be a mailman.
So, our mailboy went to every house and dutifully put the mail in each mailbox and
finished in five minutes. The End(not! That was no fun! Let's backtrack and make Deathboy
deliver the mail the hard way.)
Duo walked up to the first of five houses on the block. At the front yard, we see a sign.
Duo: 'Beware of..........Snake.' What!? That's gotta be some kinda joke or somethin.
So, our 'hero' walks up the sidewalk and is about to reach the mailbox when he is suddenly
pulled to the ground by his ankle.
Duo: What the Hell....(sees BIG snake looming over him) Kisama! Get away from me, you overgrown
tube sock!(quickly reads name tag around snake's neck) 'Sam the Snake?'
Sam: Yesss?
Duo:(flailing his arms about while Sam is still wrapped around his leg) Get me out of here!!!
Sam: The sssign sssaid to beware, but you didn't lisssten. Now I'm afraid I mussst sssqueezzzze
you to death.
Duo: But,but,but........you can't kill someone in the U.S. Postal Service!
Sam: You're the mailman?
Duo: Yes! For God's sake, let me go!
Sam: You didn't read the fine print. Mailmen are alwaysss admitted here. Have a niccce day.
(slinks away)
Duo delivers the mail and moves on. He didn't have a whole lot of trouble at the next
three houses, if you don't count a slobbering St. Bernard, four pitbulls, and a cougar a lot of
trouble. By the time he reached the last house he was almost afraid of what he would find on the
other side of the gate.
Duo: It can't be any worse than the cougar.(opens the gate and sees a dog no taller than his ankle
and could be best described as a walking rug) It's a puny dog!(bursts out laughing) Oh, man, this
is a hoot! I went through all of that just to face a pint sized mutt!(rolls on the ground,
laughing and crying at the same time)
After about ten minutes, Duo found the strength to stand and he walked through the gate to
get to the mailbox by the door. The 'rug with fangs'(affectionately called Fifi on its collar)
leaped at Duo's legs and began biting him as furiously as it could muster.
Duo: Yipes! Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff!(kicks Fifi away and leaps over the gate to get away)
There's gotta be a way around the dog.(Ha-ha. Guess what? There isn't one!)
Our beloved Duo tried everything to get 'around' Fifi. He tried flying over it with
homemade wings, but he hit the side wall of the house and got attacked again. He tried jumping
over, but Fifi stepped on the spring and poor Duo got stuck there. He couldn't shoot the dog, as
was instructed in his mission log. He tried stilts, but the dog has teeth that knawed the stilts
down to nothing in five seconds. There was only one thing left that he could do.
(Duo is standing ready at the gate, wearing steel-plated armor on every inch of his body. Fifi is
on the other side,fangs showing and ready to bite at anything that moves.)
Duo: (in a somewhat muffled voice because of the armor) After I deliver the mail, Shinigami will
take you to Hell, bloodsucking rug.(Fifi growls)('I Will Survive' begins to play in the background)
CLOMP! CHING! CLOMP! CHING! The metallic footsteps come closer and closer to the
mailbox. Fifi leaps up and takes hold of Duo's mail sack with his teeth in a futile attempt to
stop him. Nothing can get in Deathboy's way now! He's at the home stretch..........he reaches..
................................and the front door swings open and knocks Duo to the ground,
scattering the mail everywhere. Dr.G comes out and picks up the mail at his feet, apparently not
knowing or caring why a strange looking person wearing armor was sprawled all over his lawn.
Dr.G:(looks at letter) At last! I've been waiting for my Mad Scientist Club Member Card(tm) to
come in. (sees Duo on the ground) Ah, you're the fifth mailman Fifi has gone through this week.
Duo: Oro?(blinks, looks at Fifi, who is now sleeping on the front porch)
Dr.G: Howard said he wouldn't be a good guard dog because he's so little, but what does Howard
know?(goes inside house)
Duo:(throws helmet on the ground, which makes a dent) I quit! ( clomps off into the sunset)
End..........until next time
D uo: Wait! There's gonna be a next time?! NNNNNNOOOOOOO! Someone call the mental institution!
Yasashii: Come on, I'm not that bad. I'm just a little insane.
Duo: You're terrible at writing! I wasn't in character at all!
Yasashii: Oh, you were too.
Duo: Was not!
Yasashii: Was too!
WAS NOT!
WAS TOO!
WAS NOT!
WAS TOO!
WAS NOT!
WAS TOO!
WAS NOT!
WAS TOO!
WAS NOT!!
Yasashii: (stuffs Duo's braid into his mouth to shut him up, which was very effective) HE'S not in
it next time!(pouts a bit, then give audience a crazy, demented smile) Oh, well! Till next time,
my amigos!
~Yasashii