Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Titanicspoof ❯ One-Shot

[ P - Pre-Teen ]


Rose: Quatre Raberba Winner

Jack Dawson: Trowa Barton

Cal Haughtly: Heero Yuy

Rose's Mother: Zechs Marquise

Molly Brown: Dorothy Catalonia

Brock Lovett: Treize Kushrenada

Captain Smith: Relena Peacecraft

Bruce Ismay: Change Wufei

Spicer Lovejoy: Hilde Schbaker

Tomas Andrews: Cathrine Bloom

Fabrizio: Duo Maxwell

Lizzy Calvert: Sally Po

Other People: Soldiers and the Maganacs

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~< /div>

*Odie walks out on stage wearing a long red satin gown and red evening gloves*

Odie: Tonight we are proud to present 'Titanic' as preformed by the cast of Gundam Wing.*Duo runs out on stage* What are you doing??? You're supposed to be backstage getting ready!

Duo: I know, but I have to know! WHY DID YOU GIVE ME SUCH A SMALL PART?? I though I was your favorite! *sniffles sympathetically*

Odie: You are, but I couldn't find any other parts, besides, if I gave you the part of Jack, who would play Rose?

Duo: You.

Odie: Ah, no, just go backstage and get ready. I'll talk to you later

Duo: Alright...*sighs and walks off*

Odie: As I was saying, tonight we have a really great show for you, and I hope you enjoy it. As always, I do not own the g-boys, although I wish I did*sigh*. I AM borrowing them for this fic however, and they have to do everything I say, or get pelted with ice cubes. I also do not own Titanic, yada, yada, yada, ect, ect. So grab some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the show!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~< /div>

Scene opens with Noin and Sally watching TV, Noin is dressed as a frail old woman and Sally is her grandaughter who takes care of her. Just then, Treize comes onto the screen.

Treize: Hey, wazup my homie g-dawgs from the west siiiide? *clears throat* I am Treize Kushrenada and my crew and I have just made what could possibly be the biggest discovery off of the Titanic. *He holds up a really old picture, drawn, of a very sensual, very NUDE.....QUATRE????? he puts the picture down*

Noin: gasp!

Sally: What Noin? Are you having a heart attack??? *reaches for the phone*

Noin: No.....that of me

~fade to black~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~< /div>

On the ship, Noin and Sally are greeted by Treize and his crew.

Noin: I'd like to see my picture.


Noin looks at the picture.

Noin: That looks nothing like me! *is hit by an ice cube* OW! Er- I mean, gasp!

Sally: Noin, do you really think that was you?

Noin: Of course not! Look at it! It's a picture of a guy! And of Quatre at that! *is hit by another flying ice cube* Er-yeah, it's me *sighs*

Treize: *as he rolls his eyes* mind telling us your story?

Noin: Well, we were about to set sail on the grandest ship in the whole world.

Fade to a shot of a toy sailboat.


Fade to shot of the Titanic.

Noin: There. *camera pans over to some old cars, Zechs and Heero step out of it, Zechs is dressed in a really old dress, and Heero wore dress pants and a button down shirt.

Zechs: How come he gets to wear pants??

Odie: He's a guy!

Zechs: I'm a guy! I want to wear pants!

Odie: *sighs* fine, you can be Rose's father instead. *snaps her fingers and Zechs is wearing an outfit similar to Heero's. Heero's minion, Hilde steps out of the car as well and walks to another car, opening the back door. Quatre steps out wearing a dress like that Zechs WAS wearing and a huge hat that makes him look like he's going to topple over any minute.*

Heero:*in his monotone voice* Isn't is's the grandest ship in the world. *rolls his eyes* gimme a break! Wing Zero could sink this thing in ten seconds! *is hit by a large chunk of ice*

Heero: HEY!

Odie: You want more??

Heero: ....

Odie: Stick to the script!!

Quatre: It's not THAT big... *they board the ship, Quatre looks reluctant*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~< /div>

Trowa, Duo, Abdul, and Rashid are all sitting around a table with cards in their hands. Duo smirks.

Duo: Abdul, got any fives?

Abdul: Go fish.

Duo: *picks up a card and puts it in his hand* Your turn Trowa

Trowa....*has one card left* Duo, got any aces?

Duo: *sighs* Go fish.

Trowa: *picks up a card out of the deck and studies it* Jeeze Duo, I'm sorry.

Duo: I know you are, you've bet everything!

Trowa: No, I'm sorry but you won't see anyone around here for a while! *he slams two aces on the table and Abdul and Rashid look like they are going to cry*

Rashid: I thought you said you were a pro at this game! Why did you bet out tickets on the Titanic?!

Abdul: Sorry, I guess I'm not as good as I thought. n.n; *Trowa and Duo are doing a dance of victory around their fallen chairs*

Duo: I'm going to America!!! YAHOO!

Random Maganac: you guys better hustle, it's leaving in 5 minutes!

Trowa: Crap!! *he grabs their winnings and tickets and dashes out the door with Duo on his heels* We're the luckiest sonsofbitches in the world!!

Duo: WOOHOO! We're going to America!! *they board the ship and go to the front of the boat, Trowa climbs up on the railing*

Trowa: I'M THE KING OF THE WOR-*falls over the front of the boat, but since it's a fake ship that's' only 5 feet off the ground, he climbs back on and proceeds to act like nothing happened. Odie and Duo sweat drop*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~< /div>

At dinner the next evening, Cathrine, Wufei, Heero, Quatre, Dorothy, and Zechs all sit around the table.

Wufei: It's a damn big ship, ne?

Cathrine: *sweatdrops* uh, yeah, it is.

Wufei: Weak onna, HOW COME SHE'S PLAYING A MAN??

Odie: SHUT UP! *throws a model of the statue of liberty at his head, knocking him out cold*

Quatre: I really have to smoke?

Odie: no......just pretend.

Quatre: ok! *pretends to take a puff on a cigar*

Zechs: You know I hate it when you do that.

Heero: he knows. *grabs the cigar and lights up* mm, good taste Quatre. *is hit by another ice cube* ouch.....

Dorothy: Who thought of the name 'Titanic?'

Cathrine: *points at Wufei* that baka did. It's supposed to mean big or something.

Quatre: He must be trying to compensate for something *everyone but Quatre sweatdrops*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~< /div>

Trowa sits in a lawn chair on deck, he wears his swim trunks and sunglasses and has a silver shield resting on his chest to reflect the sun on his face. Duo is talking to some Irish dude.

Trowa: Ah, this is the life *is hit with an ice cube*


Trowa: *sweatdrops* Gomen nasai. *goes off the set and changes back*

Odie: Much better.

Irish dude: My name's Mike Rotch.

Duo: *tries to keep from cracking up* I'm Duo Maxwell, I might run and hide, but I never tell a lie.

Mike: Riiight.

Trowa: I'm Trowa Barton.

Duo and Mike keep talking and Trowa looks up to a higher deck and spots Quatre for the first time. A tunnel vision starts. Quatre's platinum blonde hair sways gently with the breeze. His sparkling blue eyes wander over toward Trowa. He smiles gently at Trowa and-

Trowa: I'd thank you to stop drooling over my koi.

Odie: alright......

Duo: Ah, Trowa, you shouldn't even bother, it's more likely for HeavyArms AND Deathscythe to fly out of your ass than to get a date with him.

Trowa doesn't listen, he just watches the young bishie until Heero appears behind him and began talking to him. Trowa realizes they must be more than friends and turns back to Duo and Mike.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~< /div>

That night after dinner, Quatre has decided he has had enough and ran to the back of the boat, where Trowa just happens to be, laying down on a bench and smoking a cigarette, looking up at the stars. Quatre doesn't notice him and runs right by him. He meant to end his life that night.

Quatre: Wait, wait. I die??? I thought I was the main character!

Odie: You're one of them, and you don't die! Ok? Haven't you ever seen Titanic???

Quatre: *bashfully* no.

Odie: *sighs frustratedly* Just do what I say, alright?

Quatre: Ok, whatever.

...As I was saying.... He walked to the railing and climbed over. He hung over the end of the boat, thinking about where it had all gone wrong. Trowa stood and slowly approached him.

Trowa: Don't do it.

Quatre turned around to see the uni-banged boy approaching him.

Quatre: Why not?

Trowa: You would've done it already. If you jump in there, I'll have to go in there after you.

Quatre: You'd do that for ME? Oh how sweet. *smiles*

Trowa: Yeah, ok, now just come back over here.

Quatre slowly turned around to climb back over and suddenly slipped. Trowa caught him by his hand.

Trowa: I gotcha.

Quatre: *starts crying uncontrollably* Don't let go! I'm too young and rich to die!!

Trowa: You aren't gunna die. Don't worry. *he starts to pull him back over, but he slips a little farther*


Trowa: Don't scream so much. *pulls him back over the rail. Quatre falls on top of him*

Quatre: *blushes* Thank you...for saving my life.

Trowa: No sweat.....I didn't catch your name.

Quatre: My name? I'm Quatre Raberba Winner.

Trowa: I'll have to get you to write that one down for me. *they both laugh*

Heero appears and cocks his gun at Trowa's head

Heero: Omae o Korosu

Quatre: Heero! He just saved my life! He's a hero!

Heero: tch, fine, he can come to dinner tomorrow night. I didn't catch your name?

Trowa: Trowa Barton. *Quatre blushes a slight pink*

Heero: Let's go Quatre…see you Barton.

Trowa: Bye Quatre.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Back in Quatre's room, Heero gives Quatre a big sparkly necklace. They talk, but Quatre's thoughts remain on the young unibanged boy that saved his life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

The next day, Quatre and Trowa walk and talk around the boat. Trowa notices the ring on Quatre's finger.

Trowa: That's a damn big rock you got there.

Quatre blushes and begins to tell Trowa how he doesn't want to marry Heero and he's being forced into the marriage.

Trowa: Do you love him?

Quatre: *looks hurt* That's rude

Trowa: It's just a question.

Quatre: *laughs* I don't have to listen to this, good day Mr. Barton. *starts walking off then stops* Wait, this is my part of the ship, you leave.

Trowa: Now who's being rude?

Odie: <w> yeah Quatre!

Quatre: <w> it's in the script!

Odie: <w> it's still mean!

Quatre: *sigh, looks at Trowa's drawing book* What is this? *looks at the pictures* They're very good.

Trowa: Thanks.

Quatre: You have a gift, Trowa, you see people.

Trowa: I see you-

Quatre: --and?

Trowa: *smirks* You'd never jumped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~


Relena: I don't see the need.

Wufei: Weak onna! Light them because I said so!

Relena: *because she is so stupid* ok *idiotic smile*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Trowa and Quatre are watching a sunset off the ship.

Quatre: I wish I was like you and be able to go wherever I want on a whim. When the ship lands, I'm getting off with you. Say we go there someday, just for fun, what do you think we'd do?

Trowa: We'll go to the beach, and ride horses in the surf. But none of that side saddle stuff.

Quatre: Ok, teach me to ride like a man.

Trowa: *fake southern accent* and chew gum like a man. GUM?

Odie: You're too young to chew tobacco, besides, you want to set a good example for the kids, right? *points to a bunch of chibi Gundam Wing characters running around behind the set and throws a pack of gum at Trowa*

Trowa: *ducks* XP

Odie: ¬.¬ I'll get you later unibang.

Trowa: *keeping his eyes on Odie* try spitting over the side Quat.

Quatre: NANI?

Trowa: It's fun, try it! *spits over the edge, right on Odie*

Odie: THAT DOES IT CLOWN!! *chases Trowa around the set with her katana*

Zechs walks up behind Quatre

Zechs: Boo! AHEM, Quatre, dinner.

Quatre: alright. BYE TROWA!

Trowa: *still being chased by Odie*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

They eat dinner and Heero along with a few other people go to talk. Trowa takes Quatre's hand, giving him a note. He kissed Quatre's hand and walked off, winking over his shoulder. Quatre opened the note and it read:


Make it count, meet me by the clock.


Later, below deck, the 3rd class was having a party. Duo danced with Odie who had calmed down considerably since the spitting incident. Duo reached over and grabbed Odie by the hand and ran off toward his room with her.

Wufei: How's come Maxwell is getting action?!

Odie: `cause Duo is my favorite! ^.^

Wufei: *rambles something about injustice*

Trowa dances with a chibi version of his older sister for a minute. As the song ends, Trowa offers his hand to Quatre.

Trowa: May I have this dance?

Quatre: *blushes and takes his hand* I don't know if I can do this, I don't know the steps.

Trowa: Neither do I, just go with it. Here, it might help if we get closer. *he pressed his body up against the small Arabian's*

They dance and dance, and unbeknownst to them, Heero's minion Hilde watches them from the stairs like a vulture.

Hilde: It's always, `Hilde, go watch Quatre; Hilde go do this; Hilde, go do that' never, `Thanks Hilde; here's a few extra bucks, Hilde, you deserve it!' Sheesh, no respect. *she gets up and leaves*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

The next day, Trowa tried to go see Quatre, but Hilde stopped him.

Hilde: Sorry Trowa, you can't see him. Heero and Zech's orders.

d00d: we don't know you, you have a 3rd class ticket, I must ask you to leave.

Trowa: I was just here last night! You don't remember me?! This is bull…*he storms off*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Relena and Cathrine are showing Quatre and Zechs the ship later that day. Some random Maganac hands Relena another ice warning.


Quatre: <w to Zechs> how'd she get that part?

Zechs: <w>I dunno, but she's scaring me.

Quatre: <w> me too

Odie: *kicks Relena off the set* we have no more need of your services! I'll play the captain now, DON'T CALL US, WE'LL CALL YOU! *snigger*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Trowa grabs his jacket and hat and walks off to find Quatre. He is still walking with Cathrine.

Quatre: I've noticed there aren't enough lifeboats for everyone.

Cathrine: It was Relena's idea. She thought it looked too cluttered.

Heero: Makes sense….not that I'm agreeing with Relena. *looks around nervously*

Trowa taps Quatre on the shoulder and drags him into another room.

Quatre: Zechs said I can't see you anymore.

Trowa: Don't listen to them, they're idiots.

Quatre: BUT THE LETTUCE TELLS ME TO LISTEN! *snickers* (Quote from another fan fic I read, if it's yours, e-mail me and I'll give you credit.)

Odie: *throws an ice cube at Quatre*

Trowa: *anime fall* fine. *storms off*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Trowa goes to the front of the ship to think. He looks sad as Quatre approaches. Quatre reaches around Trowa's waist and hugs him.

Quatre: I changed my mind.

The "I'm flying" scene ensues

Quatre: Don't let go!

Trowa: Like this? *loosens his grip on Quatre's waist*

Quatre: *clings to Trowa, bringing his eyes to meet Trowa's. The kiss a deep passionate kiss.*

Odie: *sobs* that's so beautiful!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Noin: That was the last time Titanic saw daylight.

Treize: Was Relena crazy or just plain dumb?

Noin: both.

Treize: *nods his head in agreement*

Back in Quatre's room, he gives Trowa the grand tour.

Trowa: nice room, better than mine.

Quatre has wandered off, and when he reappears with the box containing the necklace. He opens it and Trowa's jaw hits the floor.

Trowa: Holy shnikes, that's a big necklace.

Quatre: Like the ring…Trowa, I want you to draw me wearing this.

Trowa: *studying the necklace* ok

Quatre: Wearing only this *he blushes*

Trowa's eyes widen as he turns around and looks at Quatre.

Odie: Since I want this fic to remain PG-13, we are going to skip the drawing part. ^.^ *janitor comes by and mops up the drool on the floor*

Noin: That was the most awkward moment of my life.

Treize: *drooling* what happened next?????

Noin: NOTHING YOU SICK PERVERT! *whaps him over the head with a mallet drawn out of hammer space.* BAMOO!!!!

Odie: *holds her forehead* this is the last time I work with people so unprofessional.

Hilde: Nope, they are no where to be found.

Heero: Well, he's got to be around here somewhere, keep looking.

Quatre gets dressed and they hear Hilde knock.

Quatre: <w> Crap! Go out the back way! *pushes Trowa out the back door*

They dart off just as Hilde enters. A chase ensues and Quatre and Trowa end up down in the boiler room. The run down, random people yelling at them, but they don't pay attention. They run until they get to the cargo area. Speaking of CAR-go…

Quatre: *smirking* You thinking what I'm thinking Trowa?

Trowa: *nods*

Odie: I told you both I want to keep this fic PG-13! *throws chunks of ice onto the set, the two boys run out to the deck, laughing and such*

Odie: This is what happened next…

A toy sailboat floats along in a bathtub and hits an ice cube, as a bar of ivory soap floats in the background. A giant hand comes down and pushes the sailboat under the water. Two figurines of Quatre and Trowa sit on a raft made out of Popsicle sticks and toothpicks.

Odie: We're low budget…so sue me.

Quatre is in a pool on a piece of wood in the middle of the night and Trowa is in the water, his unibang frozen and fallen over his face.

Trowa: They'll *sneezes* be back…

They both shiver

Quatre: I never told you this, Trowa, but I love you.

Trowa: Oh no you don't, you're not gunna say your goodbyes. Not yet.

Quatre: but I'm cold, Trowa.

Trowa: You're not going to die here. Winning that ticket was the best thing that ever happened to me, because I GET TO DIE HERE FROZEN TO DEATH! *ice cubes fly at him* ow. Promise me my love, that you'll never let go, no matter what.

Quatre: I promise Trowa… *kisses him*

The boats slowly start to drift back. A light flows over Quatre's pale face as he sings "Last Impression." He looks up and waves his free hand in the air.

Quatre: OVER HERE! *shakes Trowa, who is pale as well* Trowa, wake up, they've come back! *a look of concern crosses his face as his bishie doesn't wake up* C'mon Trowa, wake up. *tears start to stream down his face when he still receives no answer* TROWA! No…Trowa…*bawls*

Odie: *sniff sniff* so beautiful

Quatre: *to the boats* COME BACK!

They hear him and head over. Quatre lets go of Trowa's hand after kissing him one last time and watches as he sinks out of sight.

Tears stream down Noin's face.

Noin: Six people were saved. The 700 people in the boats were rescued by the Carpathia the next day…

Heero looks around the steerage part of the ship of Quatre. The blonde puts a blanket over his head and says nothing to him. Heero walks off, looking the way he always does.

They reach America.

d00d: What's your name?

Quatre: Barton…Quatre Barton.

d00d: Thanks.

Noin: Now you know my story……SO LEAVE! *hits Treize on the head again with the mallet* BAMOO!

Treize: I sure wish I could've found that diamond.

Sally: I guess we'll never know.

Treize: *looks out over the ocean* I guess not.

Noin takes the necklace out of a box she brought with her and threw it off the back to the boat and cries.

Noin: I could've sold that thing! WAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Noin lays dead in her bed. She sits up.

Noin: I died. I'm not ASLEEP! Thank you. *lays back down*

POV shot on the Titanic with everyone who died. Trowa stands on the stairs and he turns around. Pan to reveal Quatre walking up the stairs and embracing Trowa. They kiss a passionate kiss and the shot fades out as everyone claps.

Odie walks out on stage in a long, red, tube dress and long red satin gloves. She bows.

Odie: Sorry about some of the mishaps, but it makes the story line better I think. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the fic, I know I enjoyed writing it.

Duo walks out in a tux.

Odie: Wow….*eyes turn into stars* See you guys later! *walks off with Duo, another janitor comes by, mopping up the trail of drool.*