Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Words of the Heart ❯ Part Seven: Here ( Chapter 8 )

Part Seven: Here

Summary: I told you I'd be here forever. Duo reflects on his first lie.

 

 

Here

 

L2 still sucks.

Not like that's a big surprise or anything- it is a helluva lot better than when I was running the streets- but on average, it still sucks majorly.

Of course I haven't taken a walk down my old neighborhood yet- I can't bear to see where Solo took his last breath or what they've done to the ruins of Maxwell Church. I'm trying to start again damn it, I really don't need anymore reminders of my past.

Howard got me my new apartment, one of those good ones in the clean part of town- like I needed protection from the thugs, drug dealers and gangs that lived in the outer parts of the colony or something just as ridiculous. I could beat those guys hands down when I was eight years old, I can certainly keep myself safe now.

Of course, Howie knows my history with this place- he asked and I don't lie. He also knows what happened with Heero and that disaster of a mission, so the old man's gone a bit too far into his mother-hen mode.

Like I said, Howie asked and I don't lie.

Or at least, I didn't, before.

God, but I didn't mean to, I really honestly believed it when I told Heero that that I was telling the truth, but he left me first! Doesn't that void all previous statements?

-`I looked up at my possessive boyfriend and smiled, tweaking his nose gently.

“Don't you ever listen to me when I talk?” I said in exasperation. “I told you I'd be here forever.”

And Heero smiled.'-

I mean, since Heero was the one to leave- the one to give us up- I… I can't really be expected to just stay in that dark, silent place of abandonment…right? I can't wait around forever for someone whose is never going to return to me- that's just stupid.

Right?

….So why does it still hurt so bad?

Really, now I'm lying to myself. I know why it hurts damn it, you're not supposed to leave the other half of your soul behind willingly, no matter how much it hurts to watch them exist without you. I can't help but wonder if Heero felt anything leaving me alone like that. He did it so easily, so casually, like I wasn't the important to begin with.

God, was I ever that important to him?

I hate this! All this wondering and doubling back- we were together and its over and I hate these fucking doubts that keep popping p like daisies in my damn rose garden. Maybe if I just burn the whole damn thing down, that would solve my problem.

Sche, as if things are that simple. Even if you've never met Heero, everything he does leaves an impact on your life. I couldn't erase him from my mind, my memories-my damn heart- even if I tried. He's been seared into my soul; to try and cut him out now would just damage me more.

And I can't take anymore hurting.

`I told you I'd be here forever.'

I lied.