Hellsing Fan Fiction ❯ Hellsing's Happy Hour ❯ Hellsing's Happy Hour ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Storyteller 
The characters of the Hellsing series get together to relax at a local bar. They get drunk, and interesting things happen.
Anime/Manga: Hellsing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.05.2003 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 2.2K | Status: Completed
The characters of the Hellsing series get together to relax at a local bar. They get drunk, and interesting things happen.
Anime/Manga: Hellsing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.05.2003 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 2.2K | Status: Completed
Hellsing’s Happy Hour
“And cut! That’s a wrap, all-right guys you can stop fighting now.”
Anderson and Alucard drop their weapons and step off the set, shaking hands,Anderson wiping sweat from his brow.
“So how’s things going with the orphanage?” Alucard asks Anderson.
“Oh, just fine, you know. How’re things between you and Seras working,
I hear training a servant vampire is like having a teenager in the house,” Anderson replies.
“Not too bad, she’s actually pretty mellow. She’s going through this phase where she refuses to drink.
She says it’s not right.”
“Ah that’s harsh, you going out for drinks afterward?”
“Yeah, the girls and I were looking to unwind. Do you and the guys want to come along?
I think Walter will be working.”
Integra and Seras walk in. “Hey, that fight scene was great, are either of you hurt?” Integra asks comments
in her usual bossy tone. Seras begins lifting Alucard’s arms and poking to check for injuries.
“Seras, stop that, it tickles. Are you ready to go?” Alucard asks.
“Let me change,” Integra answers.
**Later, at the bar**
Integra, Seras, and Alucard walk in, Seras and Integra are holding Alucard’s arms.
Integra is wearing tight black leather pants and a tight concert tee-shirt, her pale blonde
hair is pulled into a ponytail, she looks distinctly uncomfortable without her suit.
Seras is wearing jeans and a tank top, a cap is pulled over her short strawberry blonde hair.
Alucard wears a black tee-shirt and jeans and he looks about as comfortable as Integra.
Walter is standing behind the bar, serving drinks. Integra, Seras, and Alucard grab a table and wait for the waitress.
“I’d like a Bloody Mary, please,” Seras says when the well-endowed waitress appears.
“Just bring me a margarita,” Integra snaps at the scantily clad waitress.
“You look lovely tonight,” Alucard tells the waitress, “I’d like a cup of you.”
The waitress giggles and flips her red hair.
“Alucard, that’s out of line,” Integra slams her fist on the table.
“Yes, miss Hellsing. I’ll take a bottle of red wine then, please.”
The waitress jots the drinks down and goes to take Anderson, Maxwell, and Ranaldo’s orders.
Incognito walks in, his purple tattoos glowing, fully dressed in a trench-coat, shorts, and a stretched out sweatshirt.
Incognito sits at a table with the Valentine brothers. Luke looks disgusted that anyone would go
anywhere not wearing a leisure suit. Jan raises a pierced eyebrow and drinks more coke and rum.
**Around Midnight**
Seras and Integra are at another table in the corner with a bottle of tequila
and are in the middle of a drinking contest. Alucard and Anderson are sitting next to each other at
the bar downing a bottle of whiskey together. Ronaldo is passed out in the far corner, snoring softly,
after only three drinks (literally, he didn't take much more than three sips).
The jukebox is playing an old rock song and Walter is singing along while wiping down the bar.
Jan climbs onto the bar and begins to strip-dance while singing off-key with the jukebox.
Incognito walks to Seras and Integra’s table and exclaims,
“I will violate every part of your beings.” Seras and Integra ignore him as he runs to the bathrooms to vomit.
Luke is standing next to the jukebox, “I am not drunk. I’m unlike any drinker you’ve ever met before.”
Maxwell is talking to the waitress, “Would you like to go to the museum? I’ll show you my family’s jewel palace.”
The waitress giggles again.
“Alucard, I’m sorry I hurt you man. You know, it’s in the script. I gotta do it,”
Anderson sniffs before downing another shot of whiskey and turning around to hug Alucard, while crying.
Alucard looks surprised and a little disgusted.
“Stupid jukebox! I told you I’m not drunk,” Luke hiccups and kicks the jukebox.
“Hell yes, as long as I can keep stripping and keep drinking whatever works is cool,”
Jan yells to the bar in general. No one pays him much attention as Seras and Integra have begun to yell at each other.
“You can’t have him, he’s mine!” Seras suddenly yells at Integra.
“No, I’m his master, he’s mine,” Integra snarls back.
“Alucard is mine, he made me.” Integra and Seras begin to fight, pulling each other’s hair. Alucard is standing on the ceiling watching. Alucard is grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
Walter begins taking bets on the outcome of the fight. Luke slumps to the floor his back against the jukebox, crying. Maxwell has disappeared with the waitress. Jan is running through the bar, yelling
“look at me, look at me!” stark naked.
Incognito stares up at Alucard and says, “Ah, well I can do that too, you show-off,” Before running into the bathroom, pouting.
“Dear lord Jesus, may the impure souls of these fiends find rest in your eternal, grace, Amen,” Anderson prays.
“I told you I wasn’t drunk, man. It’s just so hard being so great. It takes a lot of hard work to look this beautiful. It really does. And being the mind behind the Valentine brothers just sucks. All Jan ever does is talk. I love you, man,” Luke hugs the jukebox.
“Police-girl I am your master, listen to me.” Alucard points the large eye in the middle of his chest. “Listen to me.” He’s now standing on the floor, in the middle of a table.
Seras and Integra have passed out after all their fighting. Anderson is singing N’sync’s “Bye, Bye, Bye.” (Complete with dance moves).
“They were such cute little altar boys,” Anderson says before sniffing.
Walter begins to close up the bar, and threatens everyone with his garote wire (better known as the Dental Floss of Doom)
*author’s notes: I don’t know if the members of N’sync were ever alter boys. I don’t know much about N’sync. I apologize to the members of N’sync if they find offense in the altar boy joke. I did not create any of the characters of Hellsing. The “pointing to eye, saying listen to me” joke is from Robin Williams’ stand up act. Funny stuff really. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed.
“And cut! That’s a wrap, all-right guys you can stop fighting now.”
Anderson and Alucard drop their weapons and step off the set, shaking hands,Anderson wiping sweat from his brow.
“So how’s things going with the orphanage?” Alucard asks Anderson.
“Oh, just fine, you know. How’re things between you and Seras working,
I hear training a servant vampire is like having a teenager in the house,” Anderson replies.
“Not too bad, she’s actually pretty mellow. She’s going through this phase where she refuses to drink.
She says it’s not right.”
“Ah that’s harsh, you going out for drinks afterward?”
“Yeah, the girls and I were looking to unwind. Do you and the guys want to come along?
I think Walter will be working.”
Integra and Seras walk in. “Hey, that fight scene was great, are either of you hurt?” Integra asks comments
in her usual bossy tone. Seras begins lifting Alucard’s arms and poking to check for injuries.
“Seras, stop that, it tickles. Are you ready to go?” Alucard asks.
“Let me change,” Integra answers.
**Later, at the bar**
Integra, Seras, and Alucard walk in, Seras and Integra are holding Alucard’s arms.
Integra is wearing tight black leather pants and a tight concert tee-shirt, her pale blonde
hair is pulled into a ponytail, she looks distinctly uncomfortable without her suit.
Seras is wearing jeans and a tank top, a cap is pulled over her short strawberry blonde hair.
Alucard wears a black tee-shirt and jeans and he looks about as comfortable as Integra.
Walter is standing behind the bar, serving drinks. Integra, Seras, and Alucard grab a table and wait for the waitress.
“I’d like a Bloody Mary, please,” Seras says when the well-endowed waitress appears.
“Just bring me a margarita,” Integra snaps at the scantily clad waitress.
“You look lovely tonight,” Alucard tells the waitress, “I’d like a cup of you.”
The waitress giggles and flips her red hair.
“Alucard, that’s out of line,” Integra slams her fist on the table.
“Yes, miss Hellsing. I’ll take a bottle of red wine then, please.”
The waitress jots the drinks down and goes to take Anderson, Maxwell, and Ranaldo’s orders.
Incognito walks in, his purple tattoos glowing, fully dressed in a trench-coat, shorts, and a stretched out sweatshirt.
Incognito sits at a table with the Valentine brothers. Luke looks disgusted that anyone would go
anywhere not wearing a leisure suit. Jan raises a pierced eyebrow and drinks more coke and rum.
**Around Midnight**
Seras and Integra are at another table in the corner with a bottle of tequila
and are in the middle of a drinking contest. Alucard and Anderson are sitting next to each other at
the bar downing a bottle of whiskey together. Ronaldo is passed out in the far corner, snoring softly,
after only three drinks (literally, he didn't take much more than three sips).
The jukebox is playing an old rock song and Walter is singing along while wiping down the bar.
Jan climbs onto the bar and begins to strip-dance while singing off-key with the jukebox.
Incognito walks to Seras and Integra’s table and exclaims,
“I will violate every part of your beings.” Seras and Integra ignore him as he runs to the bathrooms to vomit.
Luke is standing next to the jukebox, “I am not drunk. I’m unlike any drinker you’ve ever met before.”
Maxwell is talking to the waitress, “Would you like to go to the museum? I’ll show you my family’s jewel palace.”
The waitress giggles again.
“Alucard, I’m sorry I hurt you man. You know, it’s in the script. I gotta do it,”
Anderson sniffs before downing another shot of whiskey and turning around to hug Alucard, while crying.
Alucard looks surprised and a little disgusted.
“Stupid jukebox! I told you I’m not drunk,” Luke hiccups and kicks the jukebox.
“Hell yes, as long as I can keep stripping and keep drinking whatever works is cool,”
Jan yells to the bar in general. No one pays him much attention as Seras and Integra have begun to yell at each other.
“You can’t have him, he’s mine!” Seras suddenly yells at Integra.
“No, I’m his master, he’s mine,” Integra snarls back.
“Alucard is mine, he made me.” Integra and Seras begin to fight, pulling each other’s hair. Alucard is standing on the ceiling watching. Alucard is grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
Walter begins taking bets on the outcome of the fight. Luke slumps to the floor his back against the jukebox, crying. Maxwell has disappeared with the waitress. Jan is running through the bar, yelling
“look at me, look at me!” stark naked.
Incognito stares up at Alucard and says, “Ah, well I can do that too, you show-off,” Before running into the bathroom, pouting.
“Dear lord Jesus, may the impure souls of these fiends find rest in your eternal, grace, Amen,” Anderson prays.
“I told you I wasn’t drunk, man. It’s just so hard being so great. It takes a lot of hard work to look this beautiful. It really does. And being the mind behind the Valentine brothers just sucks. All Jan ever does is talk. I love you, man,” Luke hugs the jukebox.
“Police-girl I am your master, listen to me.” Alucard points the large eye in the middle of his chest. “Listen to me.” He’s now standing on the floor, in the middle of a table.
Seras and Integra have passed out after all their fighting. Anderson is singing N’sync’s “Bye, Bye, Bye.” (Complete with dance moves).
“They were such cute little altar boys,” Anderson says before sniffing.
Walter begins to close up the bar, and threatens everyone with his garote wire (better known as the Dental Floss of Doom)
*author’s notes: I don’t know if the members of N’sync were ever alter boys. I don’t know much about N’sync. I apologize to the members of N’sync if they find offense in the altar boy joke. I did not create any of the characters of Hellsing. The “pointing to eye, saying listen to me” joke is from Robin Williams’ stand up act. Funny stuff really. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed.