InuYasha Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction / Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Anime goes to Therpy ❯ Fun with Food ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: Adnilem

Chapter Five - Fun with Food

Chrissy was in the waiting room, holding on to Duzell's arm. Duzell himself was looking a little ill. Mitzy took pity on him and pulled Chrissy away. The waiting room was still at a relatively high level of chaos, when there was a knock on the door. Mitzy and Chrissy ran over. Food! They held the door open for the snack deliveryman. It was Matt, a former patient. His old psychologist had given up after two sessions, but he still hung around the office, making himself useful when he could. He made a useful guard, with his unkempt hair, black wings, and horns. People were too afraid to break in.

He always handed out the snacks with a smile, albeit a psychotic one. He did so now as he talked to Mitzy and Chrissy. “So, how's work going?” he asked.

“Same old, same old,” Mitzy said as she snatched up her seventh bag of M&Ms. “You?”

“Things are going swell. I'm making a new Star Wars movie, and I haven't caused anyone any major injuries at all this week.”

“That's great!” said Chrissy, munching a fudge brownie.

The rest of the waiting room was quite now, except for the crunching and chewing sounds that all anime characters make when eating. That didn't last long however.

“FOOD FIGHT! Heads up, Quatre!” yelled Duo as he hurled a Snickers at the blonde man across from him. The candy bar smacked Quatre in the nose, and he quickly retaliated with a fistful of Skittles, some of which missed and rained onto a young-ish boy's head. “Sorry, Daisuke!” Quatre yelled. His mom, seeing she was in no shape to defend himself, threw a honey-bun at Quatre. He ducked and the bun went sailing over his head. It hit Nuriko, who was still tightly attached to Duzell. “Ishtar! I could use some help!” he yelled at his twin. At this point, all hell broke loose. Nuriko gathered a handful of snacks from the cart and began hurling them with enough force to put holes in the walls… and other patients. Hideki took a Starburst to the forehead and fell. Chi poked him, looking confused.

Chrissy jumped onto a chair. “ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT!”

Ed jumped up. “I'll take a nutty-buddy…in your face!” he yelled as he chucked one at Chrissy. The snack nailed her in the left eye. Thankfully, her glasses stopped it from doing any real damage. However, now she was pissed. With a growl, she hurled a jelly doughnut at Ed.

Ed ducked and the doughnut fell into Duzell's lap. The twins simultaneously jumped up and entered the fight. Mitzy stood by the side, trying to talk reason into the psychos, including her co-worker, when a cupcake plopped onto her head. All thoughts of reasoning with her patients left her mind as she armed herself with a bag of Tostitos and began throwing them Frisbee-style around the room. One of the Frisbee-Tostitos hit Flueky as she peeked over her desk. Flueky, who had always had something of a temper, lost it and entered the fight as well. Matt had been throwing food all along, and he and Flueky teamed up against Chrissy and Mitzy, while all the patients seemed to be fighting indiscriminately. Behind up-turned table, the Gundam pilots were actively engaged in the battle. “Watch it , Trowa!” Quatre yelled. He shoved his friend aside and lobbed a glob of jell-o at Mitzy, who retaliated by climbing over the table and pouring a large box of nerds down the back of his pants. Heero shot Sango in the forehead with a marshmallow from his gun, causing her to fall backwards and land butt-first in large coconut cream pie. The mother who had come in with her son was attempting to strangle Satoshi with a Fruit by the Foot while growling that she'd never let him arrest her little boy. Her son was trying to make her understand that while he didn't want to be arrested, he didn't want her to murder anyone, especially not with a food he happened to like. The fight came to a halt when Nuriko grabbed the entire food cart and swung it across the room, knocking out the majority of the fighters in the process. Chrissy took Nuriko down with a well-aimed Hershey Kiss, and the two shrinks assessed the damage.

Miroku was trying to feel up Sango, using the whipped cream on her rear as an excuse. Nuriko had collapsed onto Duzell, and was refusing to get off. Ishtar was trying not to step in anything while attempting to get Nuriko off him. All the Gundam pilots were still behind the overturned table, which was covered in splattered foodstuff. Their only casualties appeared to be Quatre, from the Snickers, and Heero's gun, which had somehow gotten a jumbo Tootsie Roll jammed in the barrel. Heero was cradling it and glaring at anyone who came near. Ed was attempting to remove a Skittle from his nose, and Chi was systematically picking cupcake sprinkles out of Hideki's hair. Matt and Flueky were munching on various M&Ms and Skittles from the floor.

The room, needless to say, was a complete wreck. Magazines covered the floor, chair and end tables were overturned and everything was covered in food. Several cupcakes and doughnuts were stuck to the ceiling and walls.

And the poor shrinks, Mitzy and Chrissy, were not in great shape either. Chrissy had an M&M or two in one ear and the shape of a nutty-buddy ingrained in her face. Mitzy had frosting in her hair and on her face, and was trying, without success, to reach it with her tongue.

Chrissy gave a final shake of her head, sending the M&Ms flying from her ear, hitting Mitzy in the process.

“Now, can we please have the next patient?” Chrissy asked, smiling like the lunatic that she was.

“ME! I'LL GO!” yelled Duzell, crawling across the floor with Nuriko hanging onto his ankle. Ishtar stepped in to help, calling out an weird foreign language. Nuriko promptly went completely bald. He screamed and let go of Duzell long enough to yell something to the effect of, “My beautiful hair! You're gonna get it, you hag!” On the other side of the room, Duo shuddered and moved as far away from Ishtar as he could.

“Ooops,” said Ishtar. “I only meant to electrocute him a little. My bad!” She grabbed Duzell's hand and followed the shrinks, leaving a sobbing, bald Nuriko behind.

As they left, Mitzy turned and shouted, “When we get back, this room had better be spotless or it's `Omae o korosu' for all of you!”

Duo, who had pretty much started the entire thing, squeaked out a “Yes, Ma'am!”

Bonus Chapter - Innuendo…

Chrissy: I hate bomb threats. How are we supposed to fic if we can't go to newspaper?

Mitzy: Sometimes I think that's all you think about: ficking ficking ficking!

Chrissy: I can't help it! I like to fic!

Britty: (exasperated) Why don't you go fic with each other somewhere else?

Mitzy: Cause I don't feel like ficking right now!

Chrissy: Fine then! Britty'll fic with me, won't you?

(Looong silence)

(Burst of giggles)

Chrissy: That really doesn't sound right!

Mitzy: Yeah, and besides, you can't fic with her, I'm your ficking partner!

(More giggles)

Britty: ^^; Um, guys? People are giving you weird looks now...