InuYasha Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / You're Under Arrest Fan Fiction ❯ Lil' sayings... ❯ Special Sayings. ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

You know the best thing about living on the seashore? You only got assholes on 3 sides of you. And if you look one way, you can hear `em splash.

I look in the mirror see your face.

But why is the Rum gone?

There'll be no living with her after this.

Cabbages and Kings.

Welcom, Visitors!

This should be enough to hold the both of us over for quite some time. Now I don't want to see you again

---fuck off.

Visitors, thank you for your attendance!

One giant enema. Happens to be my specialty.

One has to rig the game.

You're goin for a ride.I'm goin for a drive.

He loves his third arm.

Well. I must thank you for not sticking it up your ass…however…you're about a quart low.

Hello-can you hear me now? Fucking bells.

Are you kidding?

No cooperation, no cooperation at all!

A man who wnts nothing is invincible.

Statues are not invisible.

These are the things I think of when I'm home alone and the TV is broken.


Kalu-Kalai, come live a day.

Murder is Vile and Death is sweet.

I'm looking over a four leafed clover, that I've over looked be three!

Is you is or is you ain't my baby?

Look, they nearly missed.

Yes, but not quite!

When two planes nearly colide they call it a near miss…it's a near hit!

---a collision is a near miss.

Take what you can; give nothing back.

What beautiful people you are!

What did the five fingers say to the face? ---Slap!

Practice shooting, not drinking.

I have to smile at my defete.

Yes, I'm insane, though just the same, you must've recognized my name.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

This is no time to be screwing the pooch because this is supposed to be the big dance number.

Okay, okay. I'm going to freak right out.

Up your keester, mi


Look me in the eyes, and then kill me.


What do you want in life? -Good choice.


Bite my ankles, Shorty!


Why couldn't I have been stationed in Alaska?

See, that's cowardly-that's yellow. It's beyond yellow, it's canary. Now a rodeo clown-that's a real man.

In the immortal words of Daffy Duck: I demand that you shoot me now!!

Aw, if only.

What is that rediculous appendage growing from your head?


This show needs subtitles.

I can't believe he walked into that trap all on his own.

You're a good rat; I like you.

It seems I've gotten to know you quite well in this short time

---Let's not let this slaying ruin our friendship!

You know what they say:

---They can cut your skin as long as you break their bones.

I know we're both under a lot of pressure, but let's try to keep our heads on our shoulders.

It's a lot heavier, you stupid jackass!

Ham on eggs and buttered toast.

It's gonna be a sunny day tomarrow---

---I can feel that in my butt.

I am terribly sorry about your chewing gum.

Unless he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.


Not sure I deserved that.

I may have deserved that.

That I deserved.

Borrowed. Borrowed with out permission.

Hampsters on wheels.

Elephants on parade.

And with every intention of bringing it back to you.

No quarters match my underpants.

His stupidity is beyond belief.

His ignorance is painful.

Uh, uh! Too many cooks spoil the golaches, Double D.

Your wish is my lunch.

Look up my nose and see your future.

Woah-a naked foot.

Oh, there it goes.

Yep, my brain stopped.

Spending an extensive time in female company is both physically exhasting and mentally confusing.

Hug me!

Who threw this whatchama-doohickey at Rolf's posterior?!


Hitting a ball with a crooked stick, then walking after it, and then hitting it again.

Such is the nature of Golf.

I say Pick it UP, Asshole, you're lucky you found the fuckin' thing. Put it in your pocket and go the fuck home, you're a winner!

You're a winner.

Don't eat---

---I give a shit.

Ballad of Fallen Angels

What am I fighting for?

If I win I loose my life.

Candy corn. Corn that tastes like candy…

…I can't wait.

Son of a Bitch!

This tastes like crap.

Why should I take the language serious if the language isn't serious enough to make sense?

Smash the Watermellon!!

And I, like an Altzheimer's patient, look upon it, as I've never seen it befor.

Candy corn, I think…


What am I frightened for?

If I speak I loose my mind.

First, I'll go around the fat fuck, step on the widow's head, push those children out of the way, knock down the paralized midget, and get out of the plane where I can help others.

Vicious Greed

Cast out your need for me.

Why are you so afraid to loose what's not yours to save?

I must exit the plane, go to a near by farm house,

Have a Dr. Pepper,

And call the police.

You won't be strong for me I'm sure.

Love has arrived!

I'll make you cry.

I can be of no help to anyone if I'm lying face down in the isle with some fat cocksucker standing on my head.

People like to use extra words when they want things to sound more important.

Boarding Process

Extra word: Process. Not necessary.

Sounds important ---it isn't.

Rain event.

Holy shit! I hope I can get tickets to that!

Police have responded to an emergency situation: No they haven't. They've responded to an emergency.

EVERYTHING is a situation.


To get on befor you get on?


There are only 2 states an oven can possibly be in: heated or unheated.


When else are you going to record it? Afterwards?

Pre-suck my genital situation!

Who's going to return the fat slob in the Greatful Dead T-shirt and Fuck You hat?

Seat belt---high tech shit

Fearing you,

Loving you.

I want a pop.

Soda gog

There's no place thike the mosh pit.

I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming.

I'm preying.

Change all `h's to`f's.

Fave a feart

I know Kung foo!

Wayen's got a fig ol' futt.

Wayen's got a tickly but.

Yes, I have a tickly butt.

But, hey, it's cute.

Paper flowers

Candy clouds.

Alarm clocks screaming,

Monsters calling my name.

Fallen Angels at my feet,

Whispered voices at my ear.

The Goddess of imaginary light.

Deep sleep dreaming

Death befor my eyes

Lying next to me I fear

Oh, how I long for

I knew you loved me then.

She beckons me,

Shall I give in?

Upon my end shall I begin

Don't try to fix me,

I'm not broken

Forsaking all I've fallen for

Don't cry

I rise to meet the end.

Babble Babble, Bitch Bitch, Rebble Rebble, Party Party.

Don't forget the Violence.

Blah blah blah blah

So much for looking 100 moves ahead, huh?

---You can't take it back, Pard.

Uniformed Crew Members…Uniformed.

…As opposed to the guy sitting next to you in the Greatfull Dead T-shirt and Fuck You! Hat.

The lady on the plane.

What are we, fucking stupid?

Are you that fucking stupid?


Sit, Boy!

Just a 2000-year-old Magnolia tree.

Ay, as you are, and now.

Only a little.

If this keeps up, I think we'll all be voting for plants soon.

What do you know, a Billy Bob was involved.

Welcome to the Daily Show- Chicks drink free!

I ought to know the person I make a pact with.

I will slay him. Eventually.

Why kill him now, when he doesn't know himself?

There would be no point.

Who's ugly?! Come here, you louse!

The only things that really matter are these:

1) What a man can do, and

2) What a man can't do.

Do you have the courage and fortitude to stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?

Mr. Cotton's…parrot. Same Question.

Dead men tell no tales.

Yo-Ho and a bottle of Rum.

Yoo-Hooo! Mr. A-rab!

Would you like to shoot me now or wait till you get home?

Oohh, no you don't!

Wait till you get home.


Bless this mess.

Damn that sneaky badger!

Don't ye dare forget where ye have burried me!

Bonzai, Bockchoi, water boy, wise guy, light shine bright in the old tonight!

He asked Ed!

Bad Mushrooms?

Obnoxious little frog.

Yon skelleton aproachith.

No you wouldn't…t'st

We're doomed!

Why does the best fighter left have to be so darn rediculous?


Bum-bum-bum, Bum-bum-bum-bum-Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum, Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum, BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM-----


No! Now I gotta start it again!


Funny funny shape'll make it do funny things!

High socks are cool! Gotta wear `em outside!

When is Vendi getting here?

Seeing, yet never seen,

---Protected, yet never known to its protector.

One of us is going to go homicidal.

One of us is going to kill the other.

The 3rd plateau.

Sitting like a duck, holding his chest, questioning his worth.

Take the escolator.

We're a Trifecta from Hell.

The creator the Last.

No one knows; no one cares.

No one cares.

Sit down befor you hurt yourself.

Not everybody likes onions.

Parfaits must be the greatest thing on the whole damn planet.



Where's the phone?

No need for discussion.

Kurama is adorable.

There's no one more caring than fish.


Till the cows come home.

Well, there was mooing on the front porch.

Please tell me what has taken place

Cause I can't seem to find a trace.

Must've gotten away some how.

Hmhm…Weeeeeeeee! HaHA!! What a perdicament!

Woooo-Weeee, you good lookin!

You're hot.


Sasha, what the fuck are you doing here?

How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail?

Clang clang clang with the trollie,

Ring ring ring with the bell.

The Park.

The One, The Last, The Common Mistake.

They might say the flight has been delayed due to a change of equipment…

-Broken Plane!

I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee-

You didn't throw up. If anything, you threw out.

If you threw up, you'd have to get out of the way.

Look at your shoes. It looks like you threw down to me.

The scarlet pimple.


If I were a man with gills I would be a fish.

Mystic Tomato.

Man has flown to the moon? On a bycicle?

Know you to be more interested in instant noodles than by space travel.

The posterior of a duck!

And I never ever ever do a thing about the weather `cause the weather never ever does a thing for me.

I leave symbols for the symbol minded.

That was their last domain of dominance.

Even a German Geneticist couldn't come up with that combination!

Let's get ready to nibble!

Kick the Sandman in his sack.

If it rains, does the Sandman send the Mudman?

I will bitch slap you back to Shiva!

Dynasty…Die Nasty

I will bitch slap you back to Africa!

What the hell's wrong w/you?!

Stupid broom!

Mine are off limits.

You do not have permission to come aboard there, mate!

Bravo. Bravo! Bra fucking VO!

Take one goddamn guess.


You're not having any fun are you?

It's like a tab of bad Quantrax.


Thank you

You are so fucking pathetic.

Now that is between us.

See anything you like?!

It's like looking in a mirror, only not.

I mean, c'mon, if a face lift cost's 5 grand…

I-I-I-in a coma?

-Nothing like getting your face cut off to desturbe your sleep.

Read the paper lately?

I could eat a peach for hours.

I hate to see you go, I love to watch you leave.

Papa's got a brand new bag.

You've got something that I crave.

I don't give a FUCK! I'm ready~~ready for the big ride, Baby!

Well, when all else fails; fresh tactics.

Any Ideas?

Evacuate your team, captain.


Out? Out.

Interception: Now our side's got the ball.


Hey-Beats paying the bill.

Ohm…Oski peska treska piski esta pideski deski otoro….

Isn't this religious? Uh. The ultimate battle between Good and Evil-Saint and Sinner…

…But you're still not having any FUN!!!

You're right. I've been bad.

But remember: Every time you look in the mirror, you'll see my face.

Dad? I'm sorry I shot you.

Excuse me…your balls are showing.

Bumble Bee Tuna.

Hey-cop didn't see it I didn't do it.

Ya gone too far, Misses!

One nation, under Canada, above Mexico.

Ace of Spades.

Buy the kingdom-sell out-then ask for your money back.

I know I'm white-girl what else would I be?

You mean the mini-mummy?

Go to a grocery store at 2 am and ask a new guy if they sell canned cans.

Drive through a tollbooth…well, not through a tollbooth…shit that would be a big practical joke…go up to the booth, stick out your hand, and bargain with the man.

Tell him it's a used road and you want a discount.

Big Pain in the Ass.

A fussy eater is just a euphamism for big pain in the ass.



It sounds like it's coming back up again.

If yogurt goes bad how can you tell?

Hun…did you fart?

Not me. I thought you farted.

That's not even one of my farts.

I know…the DOG farted!

You don't call someone a fucking bitch if you don't mean it.

Ooh, you mean thing!

Take that, you scurvy knaive.

Sieze the fat one.

Six? Oh, a dozen at least.

Take some time, mellow out

Party up but don't fall down

Don't get caught, sneak out of the house.

I might switch off and go in a daydream.

When you're all alone in the lands of Forever, Lay under the Milky Way.

Bakuda da

Everything is gonna be all right.

Rockaby, lullaby.

If you are lost in your way,

Deep in an awsome story

Don't be in doubt and stray

Cling to your lonesome folly

You're too close to the pain

Let all the rain go further.

Mother oh do not bother.

I'm all yours for the taking my foxy darling.


Get off me, you rabid dog!

A flea! An unfamiliar flea.

Oh, come on! The old woman was just kidding!

You finally found someone willing and able. You have my blessing.

Ow! Hot, hot, hotter than hot!

Did I do something bad?

Does this mean I have to go back to school now?

I sank the bridge.

If I were a fish, I'd scream, scream scream!!!

Anger, sadness, happiness…

I was going for an Emmy yet knew I would never get one.


It's Belle!

Run Away!!

Go to a bakery and ask for a wedding cake. Then see if they have any rat poison. If not, tell `em arsenic will do fine.

You'd better think of a smart way to defete them or else-Bang!

Beneath this puckish exterior lies the mind of a genious. Years ahead of my time.

Good bad dog.

If you could remind me.

So I went to my health club: The International House of Pancakes.

I don't want to ruin my pants.

I don't want to ruin my back, either.

Our Father who art in Heaven,

And to the Republic for which it stands,

Thy Kingdom come

One nation indivisible

As it is in Heaven.

Give us this day

As we forgive those

Who so proudly we hail.

And crown thy good

Into temptation

But deliver us from the twilight


Don't let me get attacked by a maniac wearing a French Tickler and a space helmet.

Don't let me get hit by a flying turd.

Two pillows guard the underground railroad when two cats come to howl at the staircase

When you leave potatoes under the stove they sprout coins to get soap out of blonde shoe twiggs.

Put your sturrups in the flour to bake a chicken at room tempurature so pixies don't pick yellow the snow after your hat goes broke.

Don't ask me, I'm just a tredmill.

My hat is broke.

Par four is off the corner of pork butts and taters, and to the left of you as antsy so go straight to the ice rink with the dog leash.

Tips are for bell bottems that go back to pencil sharpeners the day after Christmas.

If you see an owl, Hoot-nanny it till you croak.

I've got 2 peanuts and a pineapple-would you like to try a cat an eraser from the paint's stool?

The umbrella said to me it was too cold for pizza and drank a fly.

Under the bridge and over a sea to the cave is a rat waiting to find me while saluting your shorts is all the flagpole gets to play when crows give travelers and statues a nice gift.

Made chicken, don't forget to call!

Two wrongs don't make a right.

Three rights make a left.


Run with the little guy!

Steal his change!

Sing, little man, sing.




gimme a dollar


emmig a rollad

Cruel hell in a pea are feif.

Pearl chain leaf life.

Two mushrooms use a deli to get a ride to the carnival and make pizza pans for sick cows.

Find a penny, lick it up, all night long you'll be throwing up.

Don't go to the curb with the hippo `cause it'll tear up your shoes to dance around Uranus.

Did you remember to wear your pajamas the day your toothbrush married the floss and killed three?

If the moon smiles at you in the daytime congradulate yourself on being a moron.

This is hell with flourescent lighting.

Ohoh, you can'n't take me freedom, but you can take me haggis.

Give me freedom or a Bran Muffin!

Where the hell are my brown pants I asked for them 10 minutes ago!

It's all just a nightmare to the dreamer and just a game to the maker.

It's all fun and games until someone spills the mayonaise

So I sit down to watch Rudolph, when all of a sudden there arose such a clatter.

I sprang from my couch to see what was the matter.

If you wear blue, You're a Crip

If you wear red, You're a Blood

If you wear yellow, You're a Pokemon!

Hopscotch and Barley

You'd be mad, too, if you were 5', 52 yrs, and had two children under 20. and hair that points straight up to the sky and your name sounds like a femmenin vegetable.

Premium, clean cut, prime quality, grade-A, pure bull shit.

yeah, right.

Life is too short to worry about nonsense.

Have fun creating nonesence.

I'm rage without the alcohol.


Have an eventfull midmorning.

Have an uncomplicated post-sleep.

Have an unockward pre-sleeping period.

May no fowl ups dishevel your pre-dinner.

I hate everything about you.

I could be just like you.

I'm already stoned.

Pizza is my favorite topping on marshmellows.

I hade something interesting to say but it left, so I want you to know that if it had stuck around this is where it would've gone.

Don't be discourra~a~a~a~a~a~a~a~a~ged!


You are in my way.

You're a copy of a

You're twice as fake.



Which do you see?
Shift Enter


After the tone, dial 8 to get out.

Where do you take a cake, to the movies?

Take it to the bakery to see the other cakes.

This country's goin' down the tubes.

What tubes?

Every state suddenly has to have its own tube now?

So I won't turn out like you want me to.

Yes, the Rum is gone.


You made it,

You played It,

Your shit is overrated.

I wish you'd never told me,

I wish I never knew,

I wake up screaming

With all these voices in my head.

Scared and Lonely

You won't be.

This house is not a home.

A home is an abstract idea.

I'm better off alone

Try harder, the cat's almost here.

You always dissapear, Even when you're here.

Rat shit, Bat shit, Dirty ol' Twat!

69 Assholes tied in a knot!

Hurray, Lizzard shit, Fuck!

Because I am a lollypop!

Pomme De Terre!


*bang bang*

what what










You're just not drunk enough to fuck.
















Where the hell are you?!

You try your best but you end up with a moron genius 80 yr old.

CD Playa

Fowl, Uncooth, Blue, off color, wrong, potty, dirty, unmentionable, not-used-around-grandma, cursing, cussing, outspoken, underminded, overrated, off the wall, bad, rude, crude, unorthodox, burnt, down, never-minded, unheard of, not used around the boss, distastefull, harsh, harmful, hateful, spiteful, inacurate, (in)correct, impolite, unpolitical, unruley, misspoken, misbehaved, toilet, humerous, allusioned, disarousing, harnessed, shushed, hushed, mummed, mumbled, murmmered, ignored, misshapen, anti, simetic, ill-favored, maiming, lixurious, ranting, shewy, shawdy, lumixy, lucid, disheveled, placid, translucient, unhandled, wild, dusty, black, off-white, eggy, edgy, cencored, rated, R, X, medicaded, athsmic, blue-coller, loungy, lizzardish, gibberish, jargon, lead, inky, dirty, filthy, poopy, turdish, wordy, worldly, bad-mouth, stomach-achy, head-achy, scratchy, itchy, rash, rash, cold, hot, burning, freezing, never-used, always-heard, ever-spoken, never-spoken, ground-worthy, punnishing, punnished, punnishable, quintex, quiet, loud, tacky, rabbit, rabid, doggish, feline, sailor-talk, shipmate, bar, lounge, pub, back-ally, music, television, uncomically-funny, deadly, corny, shameful, shambled, sinking, sos, padded, homey, incarcerated, noisy, chocolaty, vanilla, cheery, messy, current, flavored, flushed, spider, snakey, sneeky, painful, safe, disdainful, daunting, maniacle, miraculous, mousy, moosy, musing, amusing, bemusing, aristocratical, demographical, republican, democratic, presidential, elective, selective, rare, chosen, irriversable, damaged, damaging, aerodynamic, spiritual….






how high

is the sky

have you seen me?

in the shower?

Open apple, S