InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Tail of Woe?! ❯ A Tail of Woe ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Kagome teaches Sango a fun game, Inuyasha and Miroku make the mistake of eavesdropping, and somehow, Kouga suffers for it...

Sure, you've never seen a dog bring home floweres, but this is ridiculous!

Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 02.09.2009 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.8K | Visits: 819 | Status: Completed

“What… the hell…” was the only thing that could escape Kagome's lips at the sight that lay before her. Later, she would give herself credit for having had the ability for speech at all at that moment; there were simply no words that would be adequate for the situation she'd found herself in.

“Wha-, what do you mean `what the hell'?! You don't like it?!! Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it was to get this?!”, an obviously offended and upset Inuyasha bit back, his latest offering shredded further in the embarrassed hanyou's clenched fist. The sad thing was, Kagome realized, that he was being honest! Geeze, and I thought Houjo gave weird gifts…

“Um, Inuyasha I'm not sure what made you think I would ever want that!!! Why, WHY?!” And the short-lived ability to speak intelligibly had officially left her body, probably out the gaping hole that was her floored jaw. Now it was his turn to stumble on words. With ears flattened in defense and a blush to rival his fire-rat, Kagome barely made out his mumbled defense.

“Last night when I was dragging the baka-houshi from the hot springs you and Sango were bathing in, we overheard you guys talking about, stuff.” Wow, and here I thought he was going to be vague… Taking her continued silence for a continued lack of understanding, Inuyasha sighed, all the fight leaving his body as he attempted to clarify, all the while silently begging that the inevitable `Sit' wouldn't be too rough.

“We heard you guys goin' on about my ears, and Miroku's um, ass and what-not… and other things…”, and as his words trailed off, the previous night's bath snapped back into her memory and the conversation was replayed. `Oh dear' was the last thought she managed before the flashback.

“Really, all girls play this game?” asked an unbelieving Sango. She just couldn't imagine playing such a silly game, and it being popular to boot.

“Oh yeah, only it's easier in my time, since there are so many famous people, and everyone knows them.” Kagome replied as she gently slipped into the spring across from her friend, slowly adjusting to the almost too hot waters. “Wanna give it a go?!”

“I guess, but I have no idea how to start, you go first.” It wouldn't kill the demon-slayer to try; might as well humor the girl.

“Heh, ok. Let's see, how about... Inuyasha's body, Miroku's ass, aaannnddd, Kouga's cute little tail.” Both girls gazed into the night sky as if drawing the image in the stars, and as the finished picture was burned into their minds (probably for years to come) they nearly drowned themselves in their fits of laughter. As they came to, holding aching sides and wiping away the tears that had almost drowned them as effectively as the spring nearly had, Kagome was able to choke out a barely audible `Your turn…' in between gasps for air.

“Oh, kami, humm, let's see… ok, ok. How about, Sesshoumaru's body, heh both arms please, Miroku's face, annnnd Kouga's backside.” And another fit of female laughter rang through the hills, no doubt scaring a few villagers nearby. The fits and fantasies continued on for what seemed forever, completely exhausting all possible combinations of hanyou, houshi, youkai, human, and all things in between before they decided to call it a night. On the walk back to camp, they joked about their favorites.

“So what's your obsession with Miroku's butt?!” Kagome taunted to Sango.

“Hm, I don't know, what's your obsession with tails?! Almost all of your combos had one! Or is it just because it's Kouga's tail?” Sango tossed back, not even fazed by Kagome's obvious goading.

“Nah, I just think tails are cute. I always wanted one when I was little. Gee, maybe I'll wish for one with the Shikon no Tama.” They giggled about that the whole way back, a new wave of images crashing over them, drowning the night with the sounds of their laughter.

~What Kagome did NOT know was happening…

“Huh, well, there's a bit of info to chew on. See my hanyou friend, and you were so quick to condemn me for eavesdropping, I simp-, hey Inuyasha where are you going?!” Miroku yelled after the red and silver streak that cut through the night air with no more than a rustling branch for an answer.

~Back to the current situation…

Now not so much dumbstruck as just, well, struck, Kagome looked back down at his `gift', or what was left of it, gripped firmly in the expectant hanyou's fist.

“Wow, um ok, you're going to have to give that back. I really don't want that and I'm sure I can think of someone who wants it back very badly. But, thanks for trying!”

She really did mean to sound sincere, as much as possible under the circumstances, but he snapped much in the manner she knew he would. Though it was a lovely shade of red he turned right before he cracked.

“Damn you, you stupid wench! You always complain I don't do nothing for ya, and when I do you make me feel like the jackass! What the hell gives?!” She almost `sat' him for the stupid wench part, but she was afraid if she opened her mouth the only thing that would fall out would be a hysterical laugh, seeing as how through the whole tirade he had waved his arms about, leaving the tattered trophy in even worse condition. Seeing her stifling what he knew to be a laugh was what he considered to be the last straw. Throwing at her feet his hard-won present, he reeled on her, knowing in the back of his mind it wasn't going to be his most intelligent of choices. But hurt pride makes you do stupid things. VERY stupid things.

“Fine, screw you, next time why don't you keep your loud-mouth little wishes to yourself!”

He barely finished his sentence. The `sit' whistled by his ears as his face planted itself at her feet, open mouth choking on dirt and the battered remains of what Inuyasha had spent all night fighting for.

“Baka, it WAS to myself! Maybe all that dirt in your ears will keep you from eavesdropping, though it's never shut your big mouth!” She bellowed, so close to the back of his head he swore his ears would ring for days.

“And take Kouga back his tail!” She threw over her shoulder as she stomped away.

All Inuyasha could think of was, “Dammit! I'm never going to get the taste of that mangy wolf out of my mouth!!!”