InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Blackout ❯ Make-ups and Missed Opportunities ( Chapter 5 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: King Baka 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Adventure / Angst | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 02.06.2014 | Pages: 4 | Words: 7.5K | Visits: 1.9K | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Adventure / Angst | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 02.06.2014 | Pages: 4 | Words: 7.5K | Visits: 1.9K | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: I don’t own Inuyasha or any of the publicly known characters, plot, etc. I’m just renting them from Rumiko Takahashi, Viz, etc. I do own the plot of this story and any original characters I’ve created. I will make no money from this fic; I write for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of my readers.
Make-ups and Missed Opportunities
“Kagome-chan, wait up!”
But Kagome did not want to wait. If she slowed her pace by even an infinitesimal amount, her fragile resolve to hold herself together would dissipate, and she would collapse into an inconsolable girl-shaped blob. So she kept marching forward, ignoring Sango’s pleas. Part of her just wanted to be held right now, but she had to be strong about this, didn’t she? If she surrendered to her friend’s comfort, it would only prove that she was as weak and useless as everyone secretly thought. In her mind’s eye, Inuyasha’s visage twisted, shifting from concerned anger to a cruel, taunting sneer.
“Damn, bitch,” he stated derisively, eyeing her with contempt. “You were helpless enough as a miko. Now what the hell good are you?”
The visions continued. Miroku, Sango, and Shippou were kinder about it, but in the end they all agreed. She was dead weight, and could no longer travel with them. She slowed them down and could now contribute nothing to the group. She was to be left in her own time, never to return. Her friends would seek out Kikyou to help them complete their mission, and when the Shikon no Tama was banished from this world, she and Inuyasha would journey to hell together. And as they sank into the earth, they would share a sweet kiss, and Inuyasha would smile…
An unfortunately-placed tree root caught her foot and jolted her back to the present, as well as sending sent her sprawling face-first into the leaf litter. Her knee stung where it had scraped against a stone on, and her palms were chafed from breaking her fall. She cared about none of this. All she knew was that she lacked the willpower to rise to her feet again. Finally, she gave into the despair welling up inside her, curling onto her side and weeping bitterly.
This was the sight which greeted Sango when she caught up a few moments later. Initially, the taijiya could only stare in shock; in all the time she had known Kagome, she had never seen the younger girl cry anywhere near this uncontrollably. It reminded her of the time soon after the battle inside Naraku’s castle, when she had stolen Tetsusaiga and tried unsuccessfully to kill the dark hanyou. At that time, her emotions had been so disjointed, her grief so palpable, that she had been ready to burst at any moment. The revelation that Kagome and the others still wanted her to travel with them was the tipping point, and she had given in to her tears and the miko’s comforting embrace. The funny thing was that she hadn’t really felt much shame for her pitiful display afterwards, despite her warrior’s upbringing. She had known then that these people would become more than just traveling companions. True to her prediction, all of them were now the closest of friends. And one of them was hurting. Sango had no idea what had caused Kagome so much anguish, but she would do what she could to console her.
Kagome dimly felt warm arms come to rest around her shoulders, and allowed herself to fall into them without resistance. And when a small furry creature nuzzled close and began licking her face, she took it into her arms and squeezed it like a lifeline. Kirara could probably not breathe properly, but she made no sound of complaint. And so, cossetted and comforted, Kagome finally began the long and arduous process of pulling herself back together.
The astonishment at losing her spiritual power had still held her in its icy grip when Inuyasha started yelling at her. And when the word ‘helpless’ passed his lips, something inside her snapped. She had always taken pride in the fact that she was a miko. Perhaps she was not as skilled or well-trained as Kikyou, but in terms of raw power she could compare. Even if she was inferior to Kikyou in every other way, no one could say that she was weaker in this one regard. She was not completely useless, and had in fact saved the lives of all of her friends on several occasions. But that word, spoken in that furious tone…it had made her realize exactly what she was without her power. A clumsy, useless girl devoid any special characteristics to speak of. A burden.
She had lashed out defensively then, taken her despair and turned it into a weapon, directed at the man who had made her feel so heartbroken. A man who, in retrospect, had not deserved her ire. He certainly had not deserved to be subdued four times. This realization only made Kagome feel worse, if that was possible. As she accessed her memory, she finally saw Inuyasha’s outburst for what it was—the angry reproach of a man who had been extremely worried about her, and had used rudeness to try to conceal his concern. As he always did. He probably had not even comprehended the loss of her power yet.
Kagome suddenly felt incredibly foolish for her behavior. Now that the shock of her discovery was wearing off, and she was thinking clearly again, she looked back on her panic-clouded thoughts with disbelief. Even in his cruelest moments, Inuyasha never turned into the evil bastard she had conjured up. He didn’t measure a person’s worth solely by strength or fighting ability. That was how full-youkai Inuyasha viewed the world, but the hanyou was much deeper and more compassionate. And had she really thrown Kikyou in his face? She groaned mentally. Bringing up their greatest shared insecurity in the midst of an argument had not been smart. But it had also been no less intelligent than the rest of her actions.
She did stand by one thing, however—she really was useless now. This changed everything; now, no one could fire purifying arrows or more importantly, detect the Shikon no Tama. Miroku could take over the spiritual duties, but the ability to sense shards was essential to their mission. One by one, her friends would arrive at the same conclusion—that all of them would be better off if she stayed behind on her side of the well from now on. Oh, they would send Inuyasha to retrieve her when they returned to the village, and they would all remain friends, but they would never let her travel with them again. The reason would not be because she was useless. The prohibition would instead likely arise out of concern, whether because she could no longer defend herself in the slightest, or because they needed Kikyou’s help to complete the mission and didn’t want to put her through that. But her banishment would come all the same, whether any of them, including Inuyasha, really wanted to replace her with Kikyou or not. Simply put, they had no choice; it was the only option left open to them.
So despite the fact that the end result would be the same, she still felt bad for taking her misery out on Inuyasha. He had never seemed particularly eager to ditch her in favor of Kikyou; in fact, she had come to cautiously believe that he preferred her company most of the time. But again, he had no choice. Kikyou was the only other person they knew of who could sense the Shikon no Tama. And she could not fault him for setting off down a path which fate had already dictated for him. Just as she would not blame him for taking her virginity that night, the obvious cause of the loss of her miko abilities. She bore a greater share of the responsibility for their tryst and all of its consequences. And when the time came for Kikyou to take her place as the miko of their group, she would do her best to smile and see them off. Because there was nothing for him to apologize for, nothing for her to forgive. Above all else, she hoped they could remain friends.
These thoughts, while somewhat uplifting, did not make Kagome feel much better. Her tears did wind down, however, until finally she was just lying limp in her friend’s embrace, mentally drained. After a time, Sango pulled back and helped Kagome settle with her back against a tree so they could talk. The former miko kept her gaze downcast, refusing to make eye contact, though she did continue petting Kirara in her lap. Sango felt her concern deepen; Kagome looked utterly defeated, as if she had given up on something very important to her. She had to get to the bottom of this.
“Kagome-chan, what on earth is the matter?” she asked urgently, though still managing to keep her tone fairly mild.
Kagome shook her head. “Ask Miroku-sama. I’m sure he figured out what happened.”
Sango gritted her teeth and forced herself to remain calm. Part of her wanted to smack Kagome and tell her to snap out of it, but she didn’t think tough love was the right way to approach this. Whatever was going on inside that pretty little head of hers, Kagome thought she knew exactly how everyone would react once they found out what had happened back at the battle. And it wasn’t good. But that was foolish; it couldn’t be anything that would jeopardize their friendship, right?
“I’m asking you, Kagome-chan. Tell me what’s bothering you. Please,” she added, not caring that she was practically begging. Kagome heaved a long-suffering sigh, but she did finally meet Sango’s gaze.
“When I went to fire that arrow, I discovered that I couldn’t use spiritual energy anymore.” With an emotionally detached air, she removed the bottle of shards from around her neck, holding them out in front of her. Then she casually tossed the bottle to the shocked taijiya, who barely caught it.
“I can’t even sense those damn shards anymore,” Kagome declared quietly, once again taking to staring at the ground.
“Kagome-chan…” Sango breathed, wanting to say something but having no idea as to what.
“It’s okay, Sango-chan,” Kagome assured, mustering a painfully fake smile. “We both know what has to happen now. I’ve made peace with it.”
And instantly, Sango knew what had her friend so upset. She had been partially wrong; this would not jeopardize their friendship, but it would threaten everything else about Kagome’s relationship with the group. Or so the miko obviously thought. Her initial reaction was to take offense that the woman she considered a surrogate sister would think so little of her. But that wasn’t fair to Kagome, who was likely drawing much of her angst from a very complicated relationship with a certain hanyou. Still, she should have known better. She was thinking so selflessly right now that she drastically underestimated her own worth. It was a misunderstanding that required immediate correction.
“And now you think that you can’t travel with us anymore,” Sango stated, this time not restraining the censure in her tone. Kagome could be left with no doubt as to what the taijiya thought of her cockamamie ideas.
The former miko blinked in surprise, then rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Think about it, Sango-chan. What am I going to do now, beat youkai to death with my bow?”
“You don’t have to do anything. Just let me and Inuyasha handle the fighting.”
“Tch. Yeah, that’s real helpful. ‘Kagome, you just sit back and do nothing while we risk our necks.’ Face it, Sango-chan, I’m just dead weight now.”
“You are not dead weight!”
Sango’s irate response caused Kagome to swallow her next words. For half a second, she feared that the older woman was about to slap her. But Sango clenched her first and took a deep breath, then spoke in a low, fierce tone which carried the full force of her conviction.
“Kagome-chan, whether you realize it or not, all of us need you. Who does Shippou turn to whenever he has a problem? You’re the only one he really looks up to as family. And I—what would I do without you? You’re like a sister to me. Who else can I talk about Houshi-sama with? Shippou’s too young and talking to Inuyasha about anything emotional is like conversing with a stone. And forget about Inuyasha. He’s a wreck when you go to your time for a few days. He’d probably sink into depression or lose his bloody mind if he had to leave you for any longer.”
Warmth bubbled in Kagome’s heart at her friend’s words, but she did her best to quash it. Sweet words were nice, but reality was sour, and Sango evidently hadn’t tasted it yet.
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“No, I’m not! It’s true, and you damn well know it!”
“It doesn’t matter,” Kagome declared, tired of the argument. “Even if you guys do need me, you need someone who can sense the Shikon no Tama even more. If that’s not me, it has to be Kik—”
“Don’t say it!” Sango interrupted, but Kagome was not backing down on this.
“It’s Kikyou, Sango-chan. You need to get Kikyou to join you. Only she can do what needs to be done. I can’t help you anymore, and I can’t travel with her. I won’t put Inuyasha through that. It…has to be this way.”
Sango shook her head in disbelief. How could such an intelligent person be so wrong?
“Kagome-chan, do you honestly believe that Inuyasha is capable of letting you go?”
“He did before,” Kagome replied, knowing Sango would understand what she was referring to. One evening in a hot spring, she had told the taijiya about how Inuyasha had sent her home and sealed the well after his second battle with Sesshoumaru.
“Before, he wasn’t in love with you,” Sango retorted.
“Inuyasha’s not in love with me,” Kagome told her dejectedly. “That’s just wishful thinking.”
“It’s not! Trust me, Kagome-chan, he loves you even though he doesn’t realize it. I see him when he’s with you, and when you’re gone. There’s no doubt in my mind. So even if he wanted to replace you with Kikyou—which he doesn’t—he wouldn’t be able to. He’s not going to let you go. He needs you more than anyone.”
Kagome gazed into Sango’s eyes, searching for any sign of uncertainty. She found none. Her friend honestly believed everything she was saying. It was incomprehensible to her, that the woman she trusted with her closest secrets could have such a different opinion of her circumstances. Did she dare to hope that Sango was right, and she was wrong?
“You…you really believe all that?”
Sango nodded firmly, overjoyed that she was finally getting through to her stubborn friend. She reached over and took both of Kagome’s hands in her own, leaning in close.
“Look at me, Kagome-chan. I believe every word from the bottom of my heart.”
In the next moment, Sango found a crying former miko wrapped around her shoulders. This time, however, her tears were born of relief and happiness. Sango blinked back a few of her own as she returned the embrace.
“Face it, Kagome-chan,” she declared light-heartedly. “You’re stuck with us.”
Kagome made a noise that was half laugh, half sob. “I was so s-s-scared. I d-don’t want to leave.”
“Shhh, it’s okay. You don’t have to. Maybe your power is just dormant. We should ask Kaede-sama about it the next time we return to the village. And if it’s gone for good, then we’ll figure something out. We always do. The last thing we want to do is replace you. You hold us together, Kagome-chan. Without you, we’d fall apart.”
Kagome pulled back and dried her tears. She was absolutely sure that Sango was overstating things, but she appreciated the sentiment. If a battle-hardened taijiya believed that her importance to the group went so far beyond combat prowess as to warrant being lugged around feudal Japan, then it must be so. And if Sango felt this way, then she couldn’t imagine Miroku or Shippou having a drastically different view. Inuyasha was the one person she still couldn’t figure out. Sango thought he would want her to stay, but then Sango also thought that he was in love with her. So the taijiya’s analysis of the hanyou’s state of mind was not always right on target. Kagome knew that Inuyasha enjoyed her company, most of the time, but he was also exceedingly concerned with her safety. And if Sango was also wrong about Inuyasha being incapable of letting her go, especially if it was for her own well-being…
Kagome didn’t know what she would do if that were the case. What would happen if Inuyasha wanted her to leave but everyone else wanted her to stay? Would she give in? Or would she refuse his demands and deal with the consequences? Either way, their relationship would take a major step back. She would be left with only bad options: stay and have him be angry with her, or leave and surrender him to Kikyou. It was a true no-win situation.
But no, she couldn’t think like that. Not yet. Not while she was still unsure of Inuyasha’s intentions. Her hanyou had surprised her before; perhaps he really would wish for her to stay. He didn’t like it when she fought anyway, much preferring her to stay back and out of harm’s way. The only difference was that she would be incapable of protecting herself in an emergency or lending support when needed. Maybe Inuyasha too thought she was crucial enough to the cohesion of their group to ask her to stay. And there was always the slim chance that he needed her as much as Sango believed. If his need for her was even a fraction as compelling as her need for him, then that was a real possibility.
So Kagome resolved to try to remain upbeat about her prospects. Until Inuyasha flat-out told her to go home, she would uneasily assume that he wanted her to stay. Maybe they could talk about it tonight; she already knew that she needed to apologize for subduing him undeservedly. She gulped at the idea of asking him directly, but it was undoubtedly the best way to go. An honest and open conversation had worked wonders after their night of intimacy, and so it could in this situation as well. All she had to do was gather the courage to get said conversation started.
She tried to work on that as she and Sango made their way back to the battlefield, but her mind was finally registering the stinging in her knee and palms, not to mention the cut on her arm, so concentrating was difficult. Any artificial bravery she might have constructed would have been thrown to the winds regardless, as soon as she laid eyes on Inuyasha again. They both froze in mid-step at exactly the same moment. It appeared that he and Miroku had just started on their way to come get them, which made her nervous because she knew exactly what they must have been talking about all this time.
Little did she know that the subject of whether or not she would stay had never come up; the affirmative answer had simply been accepted by both males as a foregone conclusion. Had Kagome been aware of this, it might have saved her and Inuyasha quite a bit of mental anguish.
“Come on, Kagome-chan. Let’s get you bandaged up.”
Kagome started at Sango’s voice, having been caught staring into Inuyasha’s golden eyes. They were darkened with remorse but still maintained their shine. What exactly did Inuyasha feel guilty about? With this question dancing upon her consciousness, Kagome broke off her gaze and trudged over to where Sango was kneeling with the first aid kit from her bag. With practiced ease, the taijiya cleaned, disinfected, and bandaged her various cuts and scrapes. It was all fairly unnecessary, with how minor her injuries were, but at least now no dirt would get into the healing tissue. When her friend was done, Kagome continued to sit with her hands folded in her lap, thumbs fidgeting nervously. The uncomfortable atmosphere prevented her from raising her eyes, let alone say anything. She hoped someone else would tell the group what they were going to do next; otherwise, they might be here all night.
Although, maybe the awkwardness was all in her head. Sango stood easily, dusting her hands off as she turned to Inuyasha.
“You’re wounded too, right Inuyasha?”
The hanyou seemed surprised by the question, and stuttered before answering. “N-no, it’s just a scratch.”
“Well, let me take a look at it anyway.”
“I said I’m fine, taijiya,” he retorted firmly.
“Inuyasha…” Sango ground out, annoyed by his stubbornness. Why did he have to make everything so damn difficult? She opened her mouth to deliver a piece of her mind, but a soft voice cut in first.
“Can I…do it?”
Inuyasha gasped, beyond astounded to hear such an offer. Kagome’s head was still downturned, but her eyes panned up to gaze at him shyly. She looked nervous, uncertain that he would accept, and he got the distinct impression that there was something deeper going on here than the fallout from their fight. A feeling reinforced by Sango’s glare, which spoke of copious amounts of pain if his answer was not the correct one. Fortunately, he had no thoughts of refusing. If Kagome was willing to start along the path to forgiveness, then so was he.
His short nod earned a timid smile, which caused a light flush to creep along his cheeks for some reason. As he sat in front of her and allowed her to go to work on his back, he realized that this would be different from the other times she had mended his wounds. His disrobing, normally done with calm efficiency, took on a sensual nuance as she ever so slowly drew his robes off his shoulders and down his arms. Her touch was soft, almost reverential, as if savoring the moment. The fleeting sensation of her breath on the back of his neck sent tingles down his spine and caused heat to burgeon in his chest. Whether it was simple happiness or born of something more carnal, he could not say. What he did know with absolute certainty, was that this was the single most intimate moment he had ever enjoyed with someone. Well, at least that he could remember. He couldn’t explain why he felt that way; they weren’t even hugging, and she had bandaged him up dozens of times. But whether it was something in the air or his mind playing tricks on him, her every innocent touch felt like a sinful caress, her delectable scent setting his olfactory system aflame. His heart raced in his chest, sweat beading on his brow. And yet, he felt no anxiety nor any desire to move away from her. It was as though he belonged here, in this moment, in a way that he had never belonged anywhere else. It felt like home.
She worked in silence, only gasping once when she first saw the injury. He could tell that it was a diagonal slash across his back, perhaps half a meter in length, running from his left shoulder down to his right hip. A serious wound for a human, but not for a hanyou. Nevertheless, he was glad to have it taken care of, if only because of the presence of the girl doing the mending. At last the final bandage was taped into place, and her hands departed from his flesh. He mourned the loss, suddenly aware once again of the unresolved tension, the imperceptible divide between them. His dejection was fleeting. In the next instant, he felt Kagome lean against him, her breasts pressing against his back as she draped her arms loosely around his neck and rested her chin on his shoulder. It was a gesture of contrition, a wordless plea for forgiveness. It was also incredibly intimate, but that did not bother him in the least. He leaned back just slightly, then grasped her right hand tightly in his own and held it close to his chest. She could probably feel the rapid thumping of his heart.
“I’m sorry, Inuyasha,” was all she said, but that was all that was needed.
He nodded. “Me too.”
He looked over at her, expecting to see a smile, but instead she was biting her lip nervously. It appeared as though she wanted to say something, but was contemplating whether it was wise.
“Kagome?”
Her eyes flicked over to his, then she shook her head and put on a radiant smile which did not seem in the least bit forced. Whatever had been bothering her, she had apparently decided not to bring it up. That was fine with Inuyasha. If it was truly important, he was sure they would end up discussing it eventually. He was in too bright a mood right now to press her on it.
It occurred to him that they had just resolved a major fight with a grand total of five words. That might have seemed impossible before, but not now. He sensed a sort of unspoken communication humming between them. He had never felt so close to her. No matter what obstacles awaited in the future, no matter what evil tried to drive them apart, they would persevere. Together they would destroy Naraku and banish the Shikon no Tama from this world. Together, they could conquer anything. It made little difference whether she was a miko or not, for her true strength lay not spiritual prowess, but in her loving heart, a heart which could make even an orphaned hanyou feel at home. She drove way his loneliness, made his soul feel whole again. He needed her. And in the deepest reaches of his heart, he hoped that they would never be parted.
The sensation of warm breath caressing his lips broke him from his musings. Kagome had moved closer during his distraction. Much closer. Now she gazed at him from a scant distance, her chocolate pools uncertain, seeking permission. He was powerless to deny her. He licked his lips, casting his eyes down to her rosy petals. Subconsciously he shifted closer, his eyes remaining locked with hers as they lazily drifted shut.
“Aack! Miroku, what are you doing?!”
“Be quiet, Shippou. This is not something children should see.”
Those voices cascaded over Inuyasha like a bucket of ice water, instantly shattering the cocoon he and Kagome had cast around each other. She pulled back so quickly that she fell flat on her rear end with a muffled thump. Inuyasha clenched his fist, irrationally irate at being interrupted. Had he been in the right frame of mind, he might have wondered why he was so disappointed at not being able to kiss Kagome. But as it was, it was far too easy to give in to fury and leave such difficult questions for another day.
“You bastards…”
Miroku and Shippou took that as their cue to make a hasty exit. Not hasty enough, as it turned out, for both would go to sleep that night with lumps on their heads. And if Shippou had been expecting Kagome to use the ‘osuwari’ command to rescue him, he was disappointed. All things considered, the two of them had gotten off easy. They should have quietly crept away as soon as things became more intimate, as Sango had done. The taijiya had watched from afar, to be sure, but at least she had not inadvertently stomped all over the moment. Perhaps the lumps would prove a valuable lesson for the future.
Besides, Kagome was more than a little disappointed by the missed opportunity herself.
She was happy to note that she still retained the group’s piece of the Shikon no Tama. Miroku had studied it and declared that he could sense no trace of impurity, so it was decided that it should remain in her care. The monk would keep an eye on it and take it from her if necessary, but all believed that her pure heart would be enough unless an evil force began to work on it actively. So far, that had not occurred. The only time a youkai had attacked, Inuyasha and Sango had gone off to fight, with Miroku standing close by her side with his kazaana at the ready. This was apparently how battles were going to go from now on, by unspoken agreement. It was understood that Miroku was not to leave her side for any reason. In turn, Inuyasha and Sango had appeared to fight more carefully than usual, probably because they did not want to present Miroku with the difficult choice of protecting Kagome or going to their aid. In the end, the youkai had presented little challenge to the taijiya and hanyou. Though Kagome did wonder how well this arrangement would work against stronger opponents.
But that was a worry for another time. For now, she just wanted to enjoy this beautiful day; one never knew when the next one would come along. So she strolled down the path, not really paying attention to anything around her, until the small kitsune boy on her shoulder began to sniff furiously.
“Kagome, you smell different.”
Had Kagome been paying attention, she might have noticed the hanyou at the head of the group freeze in his tracks and go rigid, even his ears standing erect. But as it was, she only turned to the young fox and blinked at him.
“Hm? I do?” At Shippou’s nod, she queried, “Is it a bad smell?”
He shook his head. “No, it’s just…strange.”
“Oh. Well, I didn’t use a new shampoo or anything. I wonder what it could be?”
“Feh,” came Inuyasha’s gruff voice. “Any youkai with half a nose could tell you that you smell exactly the same. The runt doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about.”
Kagome glared at his back, since he hadn’t even bothered to turn around to throw insults at Shippou. “Inuyasha! Don’t be mean,” she ordered, her tone carrying a threat of imminent dirt tasting. “Shippou-chan has a good nose. He just hasn’t learned how to use it fully yet. He’s just a kid.”
“Keh. Even a kid should know how to smell properly. Any time he wants to learn, he can ask me.”
Kagome’s retort died on her lips as she and Shippou exchanged a look. Had she really heard Inuyasha correctly? Never in a million years would she expect him to offer to teach Shippou anything, let alone how to use his heightened senses. She got the sneaking suspicion that something else was going on here. Inuyasha’s offer was too out of the blue, too out of character for him. But she also saw the hopeful light in Shippou’s eyes, and knew how much the offer meant to him. If she questioned Inuyasha about his motives, it would be tantamount to looking a gift horse in the mouth. And the opportunity for some quality bonding time between him and Shippou would be lost. So whatever Inuyasha’s ulterior motives for this unusually generous proposal, she decided not to press him. As long as he taught Shippou as promised, he could keep his secrets.
“Go ahead, Shippou-chan,” she said to the fox kit, who immediately jumped down from her shoulder and ran excitedly ahead to join Inuyasha. Kagome watched them closely, keeping an eye out for any funny business.
“Will you really teach me how to smell?” Shippou asked hopefully as he settled on the hanyou’s shoulder.
Inuyasha sighed, not really looking forward to the task but knowing he was stuck. Making that offer had been the only thing he could think of that would get the kit away from Kagome, so the two of them could talk, man to man. A discussion made necessary because the idiot loved to blurt things out without thinking through the implications.
“Will you shut up about Kagome’s scent?” Inuyasha demanded quietly, so only the kit would hear.
“Oh, so she—” Shippou began, cutting himself off at the hanyou’s glare and continuing in a whisper. “So she does smell different.”
“Keh, ‘course she does.”
“Why?”
“You gonna keep your damn mouth shut this time?”
Shippou nodded vigorously, holding both hands over his lips to show his commitment. Inuyasha sighed again, but there was nothing left to do except confess.
“Kagome’s pregnant.”
Inuyasha was very glad that Shippou had covered his mouth, or the whole countryside might know by now. As it was, the fox kit was able to contain himself—barely—though his eyes did widen like saucers. Eventually he got over his initial shock and removed his hands.
“From that night at the village?” he asked. Inuyasha glanced at him, wondering how much the kid knew about sex. Apparently enough to realize that it created babies. You know, if the parents were really, really unlucky.
“Must be,” he responded noncommittally.
“Wow…that complicates things.”
Inuyasha grimaced. For once, kid, you and I are in complete agreement.
“You know you have to tell her, right?” Shippou inquired dryly, as if speaking to a child.
“Of course I know that!” the hanyou retorted irritably.
“I could tell her for you if you’re too much of a coward,” the kit teased.
Inuyasha’s arm twitched as he fought the urge to reach up and pound a couple lumps into the little snot’s conceited skull. But that would only send him running back to Kagome, which would likely result in two things: the ‘osuwari’ command, and far worse, Kagome learning of her ‘condition.’ Until he figured out when and how to tell her, he was going to have to be nice to Shippou. And the smug little shit knew it, too.
Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha channeled all of his frustration into a little Shippou figurine he created within his mind. He imagined placing his own special rosary around the haughty little face, then shouting the command over and over again until the runt-shaped crater extended about a kilometer down and the kit had ingested so much dirt that he had worms crawling out his ears. That made him feel much better.
“No,” he told the kit, in a tone which indicated that the latter should stop his teasing or risk shattering the hanyou’s fragile restraint. “It’s my responsibility. I have to tell her.”
“So why not just do it now?” Shippou asked, honestly confused.
“I-It’s not that simple! Something like this, you have to find the right time. You’re just a runt, so you wouldn’t understand.”
Shippou rolled his eyes. Inuyasha was right; he didn’t understand. Why did adults make things so complicated all the time? If you knew something that someone else should really know, then you should just come right out and tell the person. Procrastinating only made things worse.
“Okay,” he told Inuyasha uneasily. “Just don’t wait too long. You know she’ll find out on her own pretty soon.”
“Keh. What am I, stupid?”
Kagome knelt in the dirt, retching up her breakfast for the second time in as many days. Yesterday, she had felt more or less fine for the rest of the day, so she thought it was simply a light case of food poisoning. But now it was back, and her initial diagnosis was in doubt. In her experience, food poisoning didn’t go away for twenty-four hours and then return with a vengeance. There was something else going on here. As soon as she was done vomiting, she would try to figure out what was wrong with her.
“Sorry, Kagome-chan,” Sango said from behind her as she rubbed her back. “You’ve been sick on two straight mornings. I wonder what kind of sickness that is.”
There was something about Sango’s statement which caused alarm bells to start ringing in Kagome’s head. Sick on two straight mornings…some kind of sickness…sickness…morning…sickness…
She sat up suddenly with a gasp. Oh, no, it can’t be that. Please don’t let it be that. But the pieces were falling into place now. Her sickness in the morning, her change in scent, how Shippou had never mentioned it again since Inuyasha had talked to him that day, and most damningly, her late period. Now, her period had been late in the past on several occasions, so she hadn’t thought much of it this time either. That was the naïve little girl in her, not considering that the explanation this time might be because she had sex with Inuyasha at exactly the wrong time of the month.
Slowly she turned to face the hanyou, whose eyes she was displeased to note were downcast and guilt-ridden. Off to the side, Shippou could be seen shaking his head in exasperation. But Kagome’s focus was on Inuyasha, his entire demeanor speaking of a man resigned to his fate. She was petrified to ask the question, but desperation enabled her to push through her fear.
“Inuyasha, am I…p-p—”
“Pregnant?” he supplied, his tone and refusal to make eye contact telling her everything she needed to know.
The bile rose in Kagome’s throat once more, and this time when she heaved, a few rogue tears joined the contents of her stomach pouring out onto the grass.
A/N – Well, there you have it. I know many of you expected this. The original title for this chapter was “Unexpected Discoveries,” but that just didn’t seem to fit after half of the reviews predicted pregnancy, LOL. I knew it would be hard to make it a surprise, but I’m sure you noticed that I didn’t make any mention of possible pregnancy in the previous four chapters. Remember that just because I didn’t write about it doesn’t mean the characters didn’t consider the possibility. They did, but I left it ‘off camera.’ More explanation next chapter.
Make-ups and Missed Opportunities
“Kagome-chan, wait up!”
But Kagome did not want to wait. If she slowed her pace by even an infinitesimal amount, her fragile resolve to hold herself together would dissipate, and she would collapse into an inconsolable girl-shaped blob. So she kept marching forward, ignoring Sango’s pleas. Part of her just wanted to be held right now, but she had to be strong about this, didn’t she? If she surrendered to her friend’s comfort, it would only prove that she was as weak and useless as everyone secretly thought. In her mind’s eye, Inuyasha’s visage twisted, shifting from concerned anger to a cruel, taunting sneer.
“Damn, bitch,” he stated derisively, eyeing her with contempt. “You were helpless enough as a miko. Now what the hell good are you?”
The visions continued. Miroku, Sango, and Shippou were kinder about it, but in the end they all agreed. She was dead weight, and could no longer travel with them. She slowed them down and could now contribute nothing to the group. She was to be left in her own time, never to return. Her friends would seek out Kikyou to help them complete their mission, and when the Shikon no Tama was banished from this world, she and Inuyasha would journey to hell together. And as they sank into the earth, they would share a sweet kiss, and Inuyasha would smile…
An unfortunately-placed tree root caught her foot and jolted her back to the present, as well as sending sent her sprawling face-first into the leaf litter. Her knee stung where it had scraped against a stone on, and her palms were chafed from breaking her fall. She cared about none of this. All she knew was that she lacked the willpower to rise to her feet again. Finally, she gave into the despair welling up inside her, curling onto her side and weeping bitterly.
This was the sight which greeted Sango when she caught up a few moments later. Initially, the taijiya could only stare in shock; in all the time she had known Kagome, she had never seen the younger girl cry anywhere near this uncontrollably. It reminded her of the time soon after the battle inside Naraku’s castle, when she had stolen Tetsusaiga and tried unsuccessfully to kill the dark hanyou. At that time, her emotions had been so disjointed, her grief so palpable, that she had been ready to burst at any moment. The revelation that Kagome and the others still wanted her to travel with them was the tipping point, and she had given in to her tears and the miko’s comforting embrace. The funny thing was that she hadn’t really felt much shame for her pitiful display afterwards, despite her warrior’s upbringing. She had known then that these people would become more than just traveling companions. True to her prediction, all of them were now the closest of friends. And one of them was hurting. Sango had no idea what had caused Kagome so much anguish, but she would do what she could to console her.
Kagome dimly felt warm arms come to rest around her shoulders, and allowed herself to fall into them without resistance. And when a small furry creature nuzzled close and began licking her face, she took it into her arms and squeezed it like a lifeline. Kirara could probably not breathe properly, but she made no sound of complaint. And so, cossetted and comforted, Kagome finally began the long and arduous process of pulling herself back together.
The astonishment at losing her spiritual power had still held her in its icy grip when Inuyasha started yelling at her. And when the word ‘helpless’ passed his lips, something inside her snapped. She had always taken pride in the fact that she was a miko. Perhaps she was not as skilled or well-trained as Kikyou, but in terms of raw power she could compare. Even if she was inferior to Kikyou in every other way, no one could say that she was weaker in this one regard. She was not completely useless, and had in fact saved the lives of all of her friends on several occasions. But that word, spoken in that furious tone…it had made her realize exactly what she was without her power. A clumsy, useless girl devoid any special characteristics to speak of. A burden.
She had lashed out defensively then, taken her despair and turned it into a weapon, directed at the man who had made her feel so heartbroken. A man who, in retrospect, had not deserved her ire. He certainly had not deserved to be subdued four times. This realization only made Kagome feel worse, if that was possible. As she accessed her memory, she finally saw Inuyasha’s outburst for what it was—the angry reproach of a man who had been extremely worried about her, and had used rudeness to try to conceal his concern. As he always did. He probably had not even comprehended the loss of her power yet.
Kagome suddenly felt incredibly foolish for her behavior. Now that the shock of her discovery was wearing off, and she was thinking clearly again, she looked back on her panic-clouded thoughts with disbelief. Even in his cruelest moments, Inuyasha never turned into the evil bastard she had conjured up. He didn’t measure a person’s worth solely by strength or fighting ability. That was how full-youkai Inuyasha viewed the world, but the hanyou was much deeper and more compassionate. And had she really thrown Kikyou in his face? She groaned mentally. Bringing up their greatest shared insecurity in the midst of an argument had not been smart. But it had also been no less intelligent than the rest of her actions.
She did stand by one thing, however—she really was useless now. This changed everything; now, no one could fire purifying arrows or more importantly, detect the Shikon no Tama. Miroku could take over the spiritual duties, but the ability to sense shards was essential to their mission. One by one, her friends would arrive at the same conclusion—that all of them would be better off if she stayed behind on her side of the well from now on. Oh, they would send Inuyasha to retrieve her when they returned to the village, and they would all remain friends, but they would never let her travel with them again. The reason would not be because she was useless. The prohibition would instead likely arise out of concern, whether because she could no longer defend herself in the slightest, or because they needed Kikyou’s help to complete the mission and didn’t want to put her through that. But her banishment would come all the same, whether any of them, including Inuyasha, really wanted to replace her with Kikyou or not. Simply put, they had no choice; it was the only option left open to them.
So despite the fact that the end result would be the same, she still felt bad for taking her misery out on Inuyasha. He had never seemed particularly eager to ditch her in favor of Kikyou; in fact, she had come to cautiously believe that he preferred her company most of the time. But again, he had no choice. Kikyou was the only other person they knew of who could sense the Shikon no Tama. And she could not fault him for setting off down a path which fate had already dictated for him. Just as she would not blame him for taking her virginity that night, the obvious cause of the loss of her miko abilities. She bore a greater share of the responsibility for their tryst and all of its consequences. And when the time came for Kikyou to take her place as the miko of their group, she would do her best to smile and see them off. Because there was nothing for him to apologize for, nothing for her to forgive. Above all else, she hoped they could remain friends.
These thoughts, while somewhat uplifting, did not make Kagome feel much better. Her tears did wind down, however, until finally she was just lying limp in her friend’s embrace, mentally drained. After a time, Sango pulled back and helped Kagome settle with her back against a tree so they could talk. The former miko kept her gaze downcast, refusing to make eye contact, though she did continue petting Kirara in her lap. Sango felt her concern deepen; Kagome looked utterly defeated, as if she had given up on something very important to her. She had to get to the bottom of this.
“Kagome-chan, what on earth is the matter?” she asked urgently, though still managing to keep her tone fairly mild.
Kagome shook her head. “Ask Miroku-sama. I’m sure he figured out what happened.”
Sango gritted her teeth and forced herself to remain calm. Part of her wanted to smack Kagome and tell her to snap out of it, but she didn’t think tough love was the right way to approach this. Whatever was going on inside that pretty little head of hers, Kagome thought she knew exactly how everyone would react once they found out what had happened back at the battle. And it wasn’t good. But that was foolish; it couldn’t be anything that would jeopardize their friendship, right?
“I’m asking you, Kagome-chan. Tell me what’s bothering you. Please,” she added, not caring that she was practically begging. Kagome heaved a long-suffering sigh, but she did finally meet Sango’s gaze.
“When I went to fire that arrow, I discovered that I couldn’t use spiritual energy anymore.” With an emotionally detached air, she removed the bottle of shards from around her neck, holding them out in front of her. Then she casually tossed the bottle to the shocked taijiya, who barely caught it.
“I can’t even sense those damn shards anymore,” Kagome declared quietly, once again taking to staring at the ground.
“Kagome-chan…” Sango breathed, wanting to say something but having no idea as to what.
“It’s okay, Sango-chan,” Kagome assured, mustering a painfully fake smile. “We both know what has to happen now. I’ve made peace with it.”
And instantly, Sango knew what had her friend so upset. She had been partially wrong; this would not jeopardize their friendship, but it would threaten everything else about Kagome’s relationship with the group. Or so the miko obviously thought. Her initial reaction was to take offense that the woman she considered a surrogate sister would think so little of her. But that wasn’t fair to Kagome, who was likely drawing much of her angst from a very complicated relationship with a certain hanyou. Still, she should have known better. She was thinking so selflessly right now that she drastically underestimated her own worth. It was a misunderstanding that required immediate correction.
“And now you think that you can’t travel with us anymore,” Sango stated, this time not restraining the censure in her tone. Kagome could be left with no doubt as to what the taijiya thought of her cockamamie ideas.
The former miko blinked in surprise, then rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Think about it, Sango-chan. What am I going to do now, beat youkai to death with my bow?”
“You don’t have to do anything. Just let me and Inuyasha handle the fighting.”
“Tch. Yeah, that’s real helpful. ‘Kagome, you just sit back and do nothing while we risk our necks.’ Face it, Sango-chan, I’m just dead weight now.”
“You are not dead weight!”
Sango’s irate response caused Kagome to swallow her next words. For half a second, she feared that the older woman was about to slap her. But Sango clenched her first and took a deep breath, then spoke in a low, fierce tone which carried the full force of her conviction.
“Kagome-chan, whether you realize it or not, all of us need you. Who does Shippou turn to whenever he has a problem? You’re the only one he really looks up to as family. And I—what would I do without you? You’re like a sister to me. Who else can I talk about Houshi-sama with? Shippou’s too young and talking to Inuyasha about anything emotional is like conversing with a stone. And forget about Inuyasha. He’s a wreck when you go to your time for a few days. He’d probably sink into depression or lose his bloody mind if he had to leave you for any longer.”
Warmth bubbled in Kagome’s heart at her friend’s words, but she did her best to quash it. Sweet words were nice, but reality was sour, and Sango evidently hadn’t tasted it yet.
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“No, I’m not! It’s true, and you damn well know it!”
“It doesn’t matter,” Kagome declared, tired of the argument. “Even if you guys do need me, you need someone who can sense the Shikon no Tama even more. If that’s not me, it has to be Kik—”
“Don’t say it!” Sango interrupted, but Kagome was not backing down on this.
“It’s Kikyou, Sango-chan. You need to get Kikyou to join you. Only she can do what needs to be done. I can’t help you anymore, and I can’t travel with her. I won’t put Inuyasha through that. It…has to be this way.”
Sango shook her head in disbelief. How could such an intelligent person be so wrong?
“Kagome-chan, do you honestly believe that Inuyasha is capable of letting you go?”
“He did before,” Kagome replied, knowing Sango would understand what she was referring to. One evening in a hot spring, she had told the taijiya about how Inuyasha had sent her home and sealed the well after his second battle with Sesshoumaru.
“Before, he wasn’t in love with you,” Sango retorted.
“Inuyasha’s not in love with me,” Kagome told her dejectedly. “That’s just wishful thinking.”
“It’s not! Trust me, Kagome-chan, he loves you even though he doesn’t realize it. I see him when he’s with you, and when you’re gone. There’s no doubt in my mind. So even if he wanted to replace you with Kikyou—which he doesn’t—he wouldn’t be able to. He’s not going to let you go. He needs you more than anyone.”
Kagome gazed into Sango’s eyes, searching for any sign of uncertainty. She found none. Her friend honestly believed everything she was saying. It was incomprehensible to her, that the woman she trusted with her closest secrets could have such a different opinion of her circumstances. Did she dare to hope that Sango was right, and she was wrong?
“You…you really believe all that?”
Sango nodded firmly, overjoyed that she was finally getting through to her stubborn friend. She reached over and took both of Kagome’s hands in her own, leaning in close.
“Look at me, Kagome-chan. I believe every word from the bottom of my heart.”
In the next moment, Sango found a crying former miko wrapped around her shoulders. This time, however, her tears were born of relief and happiness. Sango blinked back a few of her own as she returned the embrace.
“Face it, Kagome-chan,” she declared light-heartedly. “You’re stuck with us.”
Kagome made a noise that was half laugh, half sob. “I was so s-s-scared. I d-don’t want to leave.”
“Shhh, it’s okay. You don’t have to. Maybe your power is just dormant. We should ask Kaede-sama about it the next time we return to the village. And if it’s gone for good, then we’ll figure something out. We always do. The last thing we want to do is replace you. You hold us together, Kagome-chan. Without you, we’d fall apart.”
Kagome pulled back and dried her tears. She was absolutely sure that Sango was overstating things, but she appreciated the sentiment. If a battle-hardened taijiya believed that her importance to the group went so far beyond combat prowess as to warrant being lugged around feudal Japan, then it must be so. And if Sango felt this way, then she couldn’t imagine Miroku or Shippou having a drastically different view. Inuyasha was the one person she still couldn’t figure out. Sango thought he would want her to stay, but then Sango also thought that he was in love with her. So the taijiya’s analysis of the hanyou’s state of mind was not always right on target. Kagome knew that Inuyasha enjoyed her company, most of the time, but he was also exceedingly concerned with her safety. And if Sango was also wrong about Inuyasha being incapable of letting her go, especially if it was for her own well-being…
Kagome didn’t know what she would do if that were the case. What would happen if Inuyasha wanted her to leave but everyone else wanted her to stay? Would she give in? Or would she refuse his demands and deal with the consequences? Either way, their relationship would take a major step back. She would be left with only bad options: stay and have him be angry with her, or leave and surrender him to Kikyou. It was a true no-win situation.
But no, she couldn’t think like that. Not yet. Not while she was still unsure of Inuyasha’s intentions. Her hanyou had surprised her before; perhaps he really would wish for her to stay. He didn’t like it when she fought anyway, much preferring her to stay back and out of harm’s way. The only difference was that she would be incapable of protecting herself in an emergency or lending support when needed. Maybe Inuyasha too thought she was crucial enough to the cohesion of their group to ask her to stay. And there was always the slim chance that he needed her as much as Sango believed. If his need for her was even a fraction as compelling as her need for him, then that was a real possibility.
So Kagome resolved to try to remain upbeat about her prospects. Until Inuyasha flat-out told her to go home, she would uneasily assume that he wanted her to stay. Maybe they could talk about it tonight; she already knew that she needed to apologize for subduing him undeservedly. She gulped at the idea of asking him directly, but it was undoubtedly the best way to go. An honest and open conversation had worked wonders after their night of intimacy, and so it could in this situation as well. All she had to do was gather the courage to get said conversation started.
She tried to work on that as she and Sango made their way back to the battlefield, but her mind was finally registering the stinging in her knee and palms, not to mention the cut on her arm, so concentrating was difficult. Any artificial bravery she might have constructed would have been thrown to the winds regardless, as soon as she laid eyes on Inuyasha again. They both froze in mid-step at exactly the same moment. It appeared that he and Miroku had just started on their way to come get them, which made her nervous because she knew exactly what they must have been talking about all this time.
Little did she know that the subject of whether or not she would stay had never come up; the affirmative answer had simply been accepted by both males as a foregone conclusion. Had Kagome been aware of this, it might have saved her and Inuyasha quite a bit of mental anguish.
“Come on, Kagome-chan. Let’s get you bandaged up.”
Kagome started at Sango’s voice, having been caught staring into Inuyasha’s golden eyes. They were darkened with remorse but still maintained their shine. What exactly did Inuyasha feel guilty about? With this question dancing upon her consciousness, Kagome broke off her gaze and trudged over to where Sango was kneeling with the first aid kit from her bag. With practiced ease, the taijiya cleaned, disinfected, and bandaged her various cuts and scrapes. It was all fairly unnecessary, with how minor her injuries were, but at least now no dirt would get into the healing tissue. When her friend was done, Kagome continued to sit with her hands folded in her lap, thumbs fidgeting nervously. The uncomfortable atmosphere prevented her from raising her eyes, let alone say anything. She hoped someone else would tell the group what they were going to do next; otherwise, they might be here all night.
Although, maybe the awkwardness was all in her head. Sango stood easily, dusting her hands off as she turned to Inuyasha.
“You’re wounded too, right Inuyasha?”
The hanyou seemed surprised by the question, and stuttered before answering. “N-no, it’s just a scratch.”
“Well, let me take a look at it anyway.”
“I said I’m fine, taijiya,” he retorted firmly.
“Inuyasha…” Sango ground out, annoyed by his stubbornness. Why did he have to make everything so damn difficult? She opened her mouth to deliver a piece of her mind, but a soft voice cut in first.
“Can I…do it?”
Inuyasha gasped, beyond astounded to hear such an offer. Kagome’s head was still downturned, but her eyes panned up to gaze at him shyly. She looked nervous, uncertain that he would accept, and he got the distinct impression that there was something deeper going on here than the fallout from their fight. A feeling reinforced by Sango’s glare, which spoke of copious amounts of pain if his answer was not the correct one. Fortunately, he had no thoughts of refusing. If Kagome was willing to start along the path to forgiveness, then so was he.
His short nod earned a timid smile, which caused a light flush to creep along his cheeks for some reason. As he sat in front of her and allowed her to go to work on his back, he realized that this would be different from the other times she had mended his wounds. His disrobing, normally done with calm efficiency, took on a sensual nuance as she ever so slowly drew his robes off his shoulders and down his arms. Her touch was soft, almost reverential, as if savoring the moment. The fleeting sensation of her breath on the back of his neck sent tingles down his spine and caused heat to burgeon in his chest. Whether it was simple happiness or born of something more carnal, he could not say. What he did know with absolute certainty, was that this was the single most intimate moment he had ever enjoyed with someone. Well, at least that he could remember. He couldn’t explain why he felt that way; they weren’t even hugging, and she had bandaged him up dozens of times. But whether it was something in the air or his mind playing tricks on him, her every innocent touch felt like a sinful caress, her delectable scent setting his olfactory system aflame. His heart raced in his chest, sweat beading on his brow. And yet, he felt no anxiety nor any desire to move away from her. It was as though he belonged here, in this moment, in a way that he had never belonged anywhere else. It felt like home.
She worked in silence, only gasping once when she first saw the injury. He could tell that it was a diagonal slash across his back, perhaps half a meter in length, running from his left shoulder down to his right hip. A serious wound for a human, but not for a hanyou. Nevertheless, he was glad to have it taken care of, if only because of the presence of the girl doing the mending. At last the final bandage was taped into place, and her hands departed from his flesh. He mourned the loss, suddenly aware once again of the unresolved tension, the imperceptible divide between them. His dejection was fleeting. In the next instant, he felt Kagome lean against him, her breasts pressing against his back as she draped her arms loosely around his neck and rested her chin on his shoulder. It was a gesture of contrition, a wordless plea for forgiveness. It was also incredibly intimate, but that did not bother him in the least. He leaned back just slightly, then grasped her right hand tightly in his own and held it close to his chest. She could probably feel the rapid thumping of his heart.
“I’m sorry, Inuyasha,” was all she said, but that was all that was needed.
He nodded. “Me too.”
He looked over at her, expecting to see a smile, but instead she was biting her lip nervously. It appeared as though she wanted to say something, but was contemplating whether it was wise.
“Kagome?”
Her eyes flicked over to his, then she shook her head and put on a radiant smile which did not seem in the least bit forced. Whatever had been bothering her, she had apparently decided not to bring it up. That was fine with Inuyasha. If it was truly important, he was sure they would end up discussing it eventually. He was in too bright a mood right now to press her on it.
It occurred to him that they had just resolved a major fight with a grand total of five words. That might have seemed impossible before, but not now. He sensed a sort of unspoken communication humming between them. He had never felt so close to her. No matter what obstacles awaited in the future, no matter what evil tried to drive them apart, they would persevere. Together they would destroy Naraku and banish the Shikon no Tama from this world. Together, they could conquer anything. It made little difference whether she was a miko or not, for her true strength lay not spiritual prowess, but in her loving heart, a heart which could make even an orphaned hanyou feel at home. She drove way his loneliness, made his soul feel whole again. He needed her. And in the deepest reaches of his heart, he hoped that they would never be parted.
The sensation of warm breath caressing his lips broke him from his musings. Kagome had moved closer during his distraction. Much closer. Now she gazed at him from a scant distance, her chocolate pools uncertain, seeking permission. He was powerless to deny her. He licked his lips, casting his eyes down to her rosy petals. Subconsciously he shifted closer, his eyes remaining locked with hers as they lazily drifted shut.
“Aack! Miroku, what are you doing?!”
“Be quiet, Shippou. This is not something children should see.”
Those voices cascaded over Inuyasha like a bucket of ice water, instantly shattering the cocoon he and Kagome had cast around each other. She pulled back so quickly that she fell flat on her rear end with a muffled thump. Inuyasha clenched his fist, irrationally irate at being interrupted. Had he been in the right frame of mind, he might have wondered why he was so disappointed at not being able to kiss Kagome. But as it was, it was far too easy to give in to fury and leave such difficult questions for another day.
“You bastards…”
Miroku and Shippou took that as their cue to make a hasty exit. Not hasty enough, as it turned out, for both would go to sleep that night with lumps on their heads. And if Shippou had been expecting Kagome to use the ‘osuwari’ command to rescue him, he was disappointed. All things considered, the two of them had gotten off easy. They should have quietly crept away as soon as things became more intimate, as Sango had done. The taijiya had watched from afar, to be sure, but at least she had not inadvertently stomped all over the moment. Perhaps the lumps would prove a valuable lesson for the future.
Besides, Kagome was more than a little disappointed by the missed opportunity herself.
* * *
Kagome breathed deeply of the crisp, clean air, tilting her head back to bask in the sun’s radiant caress. She grinned and sighed in contentment. It had been five days since her and Inuyasha’s near kiss, and things had more or less returned to normal. They were journeying north in the hopes of catching wind of Naraku or more shard-animated walking corpses. They’d had no luck in either department so far, but the group seemed to be in good spirits. Nothing else had been said concerning the loss of her miko power, but Kagome took it as a very good sign that they were not heading directly for the well. If Inuyasha intended to make her go home, why would he lead them on this potentially dangerous detour? So now she was fairly certain that the hanyou shared Sango’s opinion on the matter. She did, however, wish that she hadn’t chickened out the other night when she tried to ask him directly. As a result, the persistent doubt swam continuously in the back of her mind and refused to go away. She was happy to note that she still retained the group’s piece of the Shikon no Tama. Miroku had studied it and declared that he could sense no trace of impurity, so it was decided that it should remain in her care. The monk would keep an eye on it and take it from her if necessary, but all believed that her pure heart would be enough unless an evil force began to work on it actively. So far, that had not occurred. The only time a youkai had attacked, Inuyasha and Sango had gone off to fight, with Miroku standing close by her side with his kazaana at the ready. This was apparently how battles were going to go from now on, by unspoken agreement. It was understood that Miroku was not to leave her side for any reason. In turn, Inuyasha and Sango had appeared to fight more carefully than usual, probably because they did not want to present Miroku with the difficult choice of protecting Kagome or going to their aid. In the end, the youkai had presented little challenge to the taijiya and hanyou. Though Kagome did wonder how well this arrangement would work against stronger opponents.
But that was a worry for another time. For now, she just wanted to enjoy this beautiful day; one never knew when the next one would come along. So she strolled down the path, not really paying attention to anything around her, until the small kitsune boy on her shoulder began to sniff furiously.
“Kagome, you smell different.”
Had Kagome been paying attention, she might have noticed the hanyou at the head of the group freeze in his tracks and go rigid, even his ears standing erect. But as it was, she only turned to the young fox and blinked at him.
“Hm? I do?” At Shippou’s nod, she queried, “Is it a bad smell?”
He shook his head. “No, it’s just…strange.”
“Oh. Well, I didn’t use a new shampoo or anything. I wonder what it could be?”
“Feh,” came Inuyasha’s gruff voice. “Any youkai with half a nose could tell you that you smell exactly the same. The runt doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about.”
Kagome glared at his back, since he hadn’t even bothered to turn around to throw insults at Shippou. “Inuyasha! Don’t be mean,” she ordered, her tone carrying a threat of imminent dirt tasting. “Shippou-chan has a good nose. He just hasn’t learned how to use it fully yet. He’s just a kid.”
“Keh. Even a kid should know how to smell properly. Any time he wants to learn, he can ask me.”
Kagome’s retort died on her lips as she and Shippou exchanged a look. Had she really heard Inuyasha correctly? Never in a million years would she expect him to offer to teach Shippou anything, let alone how to use his heightened senses. She got the sneaking suspicion that something else was going on here. Inuyasha’s offer was too out of the blue, too out of character for him. But she also saw the hopeful light in Shippou’s eyes, and knew how much the offer meant to him. If she questioned Inuyasha about his motives, it would be tantamount to looking a gift horse in the mouth. And the opportunity for some quality bonding time between him and Shippou would be lost. So whatever Inuyasha’s ulterior motives for this unusually generous proposal, she decided not to press him. As long as he taught Shippou as promised, he could keep his secrets.
“Go ahead, Shippou-chan,” she said to the fox kit, who immediately jumped down from her shoulder and ran excitedly ahead to join Inuyasha. Kagome watched them closely, keeping an eye out for any funny business.
“Will you really teach me how to smell?” Shippou asked hopefully as he settled on the hanyou’s shoulder.
Inuyasha sighed, not really looking forward to the task but knowing he was stuck. Making that offer had been the only thing he could think of that would get the kit away from Kagome, so the two of them could talk, man to man. A discussion made necessary because the idiot loved to blurt things out without thinking through the implications.
“Will you shut up about Kagome’s scent?” Inuyasha demanded quietly, so only the kit would hear.
“Oh, so she—” Shippou began, cutting himself off at the hanyou’s glare and continuing in a whisper. “So she does smell different.”
“Keh, ‘course she does.”
“Why?”
“You gonna keep your damn mouth shut this time?”
Shippou nodded vigorously, holding both hands over his lips to show his commitment. Inuyasha sighed again, but there was nothing left to do except confess.
“Kagome’s pregnant.”
Inuyasha was very glad that Shippou had covered his mouth, or the whole countryside might know by now. As it was, the fox kit was able to contain himself—barely—though his eyes did widen like saucers. Eventually he got over his initial shock and removed his hands.
“From that night at the village?” he asked. Inuyasha glanced at him, wondering how much the kid knew about sex. Apparently enough to realize that it created babies. You know, if the parents were really, really unlucky.
“Must be,” he responded noncommittally.
“Wow…that complicates things.”
Inuyasha grimaced. For once, kid, you and I are in complete agreement.
“You know you have to tell her, right?” Shippou inquired dryly, as if speaking to a child.
“Of course I know that!” the hanyou retorted irritably.
“I could tell her for you if you’re too much of a coward,” the kit teased.
Inuyasha’s arm twitched as he fought the urge to reach up and pound a couple lumps into the little snot’s conceited skull. But that would only send him running back to Kagome, which would likely result in two things: the ‘osuwari’ command, and far worse, Kagome learning of her ‘condition.’ Until he figured out when and how to tell her, he was going to have to be nice to Shippou. And the smug little shit knew it, too.
Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha channeled all of his frustration into a little Shippou figurine he created within his mind. He imagined placing his own special rosary around the haughty little face, then shouting the command over and over again until the runt-shaped crater extended about a kilometer down and the kit had ingested so much dirt that he had worms crawling out his ears. That made him feel much better.
“No,” he told the kit, in a tone which indicated that the latter should stop his teasing or risk shattering the hanyou’s fragile restraint. “It’s my responsibility. I have to tell her.”
“So why not just do it now?” Shippou asked, honestly confused.
“I-It’s not that simple! Something like this, you have to find the right time. You’re just a runt, so you wouldn’t understand.”
Shippou rolled his eyes. Inuyasha was right; he didn’t understand. Why did adults make things so complicated all the time? If you knew something that someone else should really know, then you should just come right out and tell the person. Procrastinating only made things worse.
“Okay,” he told Inuyasha uneasily. “Just don’t wait too long. You know she’ll find out on her own pretty soon.”
“Keh. What am I, stupid?”
* * *
**One Week Later**Kagome knelt in the dirt, retching up her breakfast for the second time in as many days. Yesterday, she had felt more or less fine for the rest of the day, so she thought it was simply a light case of food poisoning. But now it was back, and her initial diagnosis was in doubt. In her experience, food poisoning didn’t go away for twenty-four hours and then return with a vengeance. There was something else going on here. As soon as she was done vomiting, she would try to figure out what was wrong with her.
“Sorry, Kagome-chan,” Sango said from behind her as she rubbed her back. “You’ve been sick on two straight mornings. I wonder what kind of sickness that is.”
There was something about Sango’s statement which caused alarm bells to start ringing in Kagome’s head. Sick on two straight mornings…some kind of sickness…sickness…morning…sickness…
She sat up suddenly with a gasp. Oh, no, it can’t be that. Please don’t let it be that. But the pieces were falling into place now. Her sickness in the morning, her change in scent, how Shippou had never mentioned it again since Inuyasha had talked to him that day, and most damningly, her late period. Now, her period had been late in the past on several occasions, so she hadn’t thought much of it this time either. That was the naïve little girl in her, not considering that the explanation this time might be because she had sex with Inuyasha at exactly the wrong time of the month.
Slowly she turned to face the hanyou, whose eyes she was displeased to note were downcast and guilt-ridden. Off to the side, Shippou could be seen shaking his head in exasperation. But Kagome’s focus was on Inuyasha, his entire demeanor speaking of a man resigned to his fate. She was petrified to ask the question, but desperation enabled her to push through her fear.
“Inuyasha, am I…p-p—”
“Pregnant?” he supplied, his tone and refusal to make eye contact telling her everything she needed to know.
The bile rose in Kagome’s throat once more, and this time when she heaved, a few rogue tears joined the contents of her stomach pouring out onto the grass.
A/N – Well, there you have it. I know many of you expected this. The original title for this chapter was “Unexpected Discoveries,” but that just didn’t seem to fit after half of the reviews predicted pregnancy, LOL. I knew it would be hard to make it a surprise, but I’m sure you noticed that I didn’t make any mention of possible pregnancy in the previous four chapters. Remember that just because I didn’t write about it doesn’t mean the characters didn’t consider the possibility. They did, but I left it ‘off camera.’ More explanation next chapter.