InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Decisions of the Heart ❯ Decision of the Heart ( Chapter 1 )

Years after the fall of Naraku, Sesshoumaru travels to a hidden shrine to mend his cracked Tenseiga. However, a strange twist of fate intervenes and when he returns Rin has aged ten years. Nature forces Sesshoumaru to accept Rin as an adult and the struggle between his heart, his body, and his mind begins. He has a decision to make and Rin's heart is on the line.

Note: My intent here is to portray the relationship as realistic as possible; written in third person POV of Rin, Sesshoumaru, and Jaken. While most people of our time say certain things and perform certain actions, I felt it best to keep things simple, yet spicy. You won't hear the normal phrasing you might have seen in other fan-fiction. I ask that you please take into consideration the Inuyasha world is set in the 1500's. While the Japanese were known as highly sexualize people from early text and pictures, words like `clitoris' weren't even used then because the term didn't arise in general population until medical studies were performed in the mid 16th century.

Also, I didn't make mention of Sesshoumaru's fluff. As we're all unsure if it's part of his clothing or the man himself, I just ignored it. Sorry fluff fans! Use your own imagination, either it comes off with the clothing or its there somewhere…

It's all in one shot here, because I don't post until I'm done, and cutting it up by chapters is a bit annoying .

 

Decision of the Heart

 

Prologue

In a row they walked, Sesshoumaru followed by Jaken with Ah-Uh in tow, Rin riding quietly on his back. Elegant and resolute, the Lord of the Western Lands pushed away a large branch and continued through the forest searching. Bokuseno informed him of the general location of his desired destination, the rest was up to the damaged sword at his side. After the fall of Naraku, yokai infested the lands killing thousands of humans in a matter of weeks. That girl…Kagome begged him to save hundreds of them. He did, only out of pity. He wasn't the least bit grateful for the help of Inuyasha and the others during the battle. However, the combined effort of all Naraku's enemies led to his destruction.

During his last resurrection, a snake-demon sprung from the brush of the forest and cracked his Tenseiga. Totosai, the creator of the sword was a victim of Naraku, and Bokuseno knew of only one other master who could repair the damaged blade. Sesshoumaru was getting close to his hidden shrine; he could hear the waterfall in the distance.

“Sesshoumaru-sama, do you hear?” Jaken clamored and hustled up to his side. “Around the bend, we've made it.”

`There is a price, one I do not know, but Master Shino once worked with Totosai, he knows the workings of Tenseiga, he can mend it.' Sesshoumaru wasn't convinced and he didn't like having so little information. He was unsure it was worth all the trouble to fix the healing blade in the first place, however, having his father's sword at his side was sometimes useful. It had saved him more than once.

Rin began singing softly, one of a dozen songs she'd made up over the years, it relaxed him slightly, oddly. As he approached the riverbank, he could indeed see the waterfall cascading down a high cliff. He'd seen no villages nearby, there was no jaki in the air; it was safe a region as anywhere else. He paused and glanced around the area.

Sesshoumaru turned back to the group. “Rin,” he called sternly.

“Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

“Stay here with Ah-Un.”

“How long will you be gone, Jaken-sama?” Rin asked as she slid off Ah-Un's back and took the reins.

“Don't ask questions, Rin, we'll be back when we're back,” he chided, waving his Staff of Heads.

“Jaken,” Sesshoumaru grunted softly. “Let's go.”

The kappa cringed and rushed to his master's side, Rin stayed behind waving and smiling like she usually did when they left her behind. His eyes lingered on her a moment, it never ceased to amaze him how she maintained her cheerful attitude. It had been four years since he brought her back from death and began traveling with him. He was accustom to her presence, even enjoyed it on occasion. This time, however, before turning to leave he called her name again. She stopped waving and approached him slowly craning her neck up to look him in the eyes. “Be safe.”

“I will, Sesshoumaru-sama.” She smiled brightly then he turned away.

He continued toward the waterfall. Somewhere near it was a barrier, he could already sense it. He approached the left side of the fall and moved his hand to Tenseiga, waiting for the sign. Nothing happened. Sesshoumaru leapt over the wide river and landed softly on the ground. Again, he gripped the hilt, this time the sword pulsed and revealed a blue-green glow surround the dark rocks. “Jaken.”

“Yes, my lord,” Jaken replied and moved to his side.

“Use the staff.”

The small demon jumped from his shoulder, moved forward, and drove the pointed tip toward the rock. It pierced through the barrier and a large hole appeared. Sesshoumaru moved right through it without a word, Jaken following.

 

Rin watched them vanish into the mountain, then she sat nearby and began singing again as she waited.

 

 

One

Ten years later…

Smoke rose from behind a small hut in the middle of the forest. Ah-Uh snarled. Rin had fish settled around the campfire cooking as she watched the stars overhead twinkling down on her.

“It's almost ready,” she said with a smile and continued gazing up. “Do you know what today was?” Ah-Un tilted its heads at her. “Today was the day we came here…all those years ago. When Sesshoumaru-sama, and Jaken-sama disappeared.” She sighed softly, plucked two fish from the ground, and fed it to her companion. They ate happily and quietly for a while, and then Rin started cleaning up. She moved into the hut and set the extra fish on the tiny table, wrapping it up quickly in leaves and salt to save it for later. When she returned to Ah-Un, she smiled and pulled at his reins. “Come with me, I want to bathe before bed.”

The demon followed closely as Rin made her way through the patch of trees to the river. The moon was high in the sky and brightly lit the water and riverbank. Rin pulled her wakizashi from Ah-Un's saddle and placed it on the ground before untying her hair and removing her kimono. Over the years, she had to fend off yokai with her companion. Mostly this area was quiet, but when demons started to show up and the months continued to pass with no sign of Sesshoumaru, Rin knew she needed to defend herself. She'd stolen the short sword from a distant village. Practicing with Ah-Un every day and night ever since, Rin handled the weapon with poise and control now. They were a good team and had come to rely on one another.

Though the demon had plenty of chances to leave on his own path, he always stayed with her. She was grateful for him. She often wished he'd talk because she was always curious what he was thinking and if he stayed for the same reasons and had nowhere else to go.

Stepping into the river, Rin let her body get used to the coolness before submerging herself fully. It wasn't particularly warm out, but it was better than washing in the hut by firelight. The river was low this time of the month, so the current was weak. Rin swam toward the waterfall's basin. She dipped deep under the water, came up behind it, and watched it flow from the cliff. A few times in the past, she'd hid herself here while demons flew through the area. The water masked her scent and form.

She tiled her head back and let the water wash away all the dirt in her hair. Floating under the fall for a while, she let the motion relax her spirit. Rin yawned some time later, pulled herself up on the bank, and made her way back to Ah-Un.

A flash of light from the mountainside made her to stop. Suddenly a hole formed in the rock and Rin gasped aloud staring at the figure forming in the darkness.

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Jaken flew through the air and landed with a thud on the ground. Sesshoumaru stepped through the barrier and took in the night sky. His hand went to the hilt of Tokijin when he heard the noise, then stared at the cause.

Thinking his eyes were playing tricks on him, he blinked and took in the girl's features. Her thick dark hair was unusually long and covered her otherwise naked body down to her thighs. He knew the face, mostly by her eyes and mouth, the rest of her…did not fit.

“Ses-shou-maru-sama?” Her voice was almost the same, sweet, quiet but breathy and shaky.

Turning to her, he released his hand from his weapon and stared into her eyes. Before he could respond, she threw her arms around him, pressing her wet body against his haori. “Rin?”

She looked up with tears on her cheek, her arms unyielding. Her lips were parted, as if she was about to speak again. Instead, her eyes rolled back, her grip failed and she slid down his body. Sesshoumaru caught her, hefted her into his arm, and stared at her face. “Jaken,” he called gruffly.

“Yes, my lord,” Jaken replied and rose from the ground. He screeched suddenly and jumped in the air. “Who is that?”

“It…is Rin.”

“What?” Jaken exclaimed with horror. “How my lord, a spell…a demon?”

Sesshoumaru shook his head slightly having caught no yokai nearby or anything unnatural mixed in her scent. She was Rin, different—matured, but still Rin. Ah-Un called from the opposite side of the river. Sesshoumaru soared over the water, landed at his side, and placed Rin across his back. He picked up her wakizashi and kimono then covered her backside. Noticing her long legs resting over Ah-Un's side, Sesshoumaru shook his head again, confused and waited for Jaken to arrive.

Ah-Un began to move through the trees. Sesshoumaru walked beside him, every so often gazing over at the sight of Rin's body. Jaken was muttering nonsense as he caught up.

“Sesshoumaru-sama…what happened to Rin?”

“She feinted,” he stated coolly and walked toward the clearing and the small structure that stood there.

“But…I mean, she is…”

Rin mumbled softly and lifted her head. She groggily slid off the beast and clutched her kimono in front of her body, staring once more in disbelief at his presence. Pulling on the robe and tying it tight, she brushed the hair from her eyes and approached. “Sesshoumaru-sama, is…it really you?”

“Yes,” he replied calmly. “How…long have we been gone, Rin?”

She bowed her head slightly, her voice quivering as she spoke. “It's been ten years today, my lord.”

“Ten years.”

“Yes.”

“You have waited here this entire time?” he asked, utterly stunned.

“I…” she glanced up slowly, with new tears on her cheek.

“Rin,” he urged her to continue.

“I…couldn't leave. I didn't know where to go. I hoped…I believed you would return, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

“Humph,” he replied and moved away glancing at the humble home. “Ten years.”

“Impossible!” Jaken said suddenly. “We weren't gone more than…”

Sesshoumaru cast a sideways glance at Jaken. His voice trailed off. He had the same feelings. It seemed as if they were only gone a week or so…somehow the realm they visited was not on the same plane. Rubbing the side of his face, the Lord of the Western Lands moved to a nearby tree and sat down. His energy was lacking. Returning had an unusual effect on his body; his mind however was still sharp, and reeling with questions, ones he wasn't sure he wanted to ask.

Jaken moved to his master's side and sat beside him. “…it seems this was the price Bokuseno, spoke of, my lord. One year for each day?”

Grumbling slightly, Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and replayed the time in his mind. They spent the first three days searching the other-realm for the sword master. The next four days they waited while he repaired the sword, and the last three they journeyed home. Shino asked for nothing in return simply said the journey was the price. He understood now, and it angered him. While he and Jaken were there, Rin was growing, struggling, and surviving on her own…waiting for him to return. Ten years to a human was a hundred to him. Time—it was a devious enemy.

She'd obviously made a home for herself. The weapon was proof she'd been fighting. It smelled of yokai and animal blood. Her scent filled his nose and he opened his eyes to see her kneeling in front of him holding a misshapen cup filled with water. Jaken had already finished his and was wiping his mouth when Sesshoumaru lifted it from her hand and sipped it. She was watching him intently as if seeing him for the first time again. His gaze moved over her features. It was Rin, older, tougher, but still the girl he knew. When his eyes lowered, his breath caught slightly as he noticed the wet kimono clinging to her now naturally curvy body. He looked away quickly. A heavy price to pay. He felt a twinge of guilt racked his heart. Had he known time there would pass differently, he may have never left her….or at least taken her somewhere safer.

“Sesshoumaru-sama?”

He placed the cup on the ground and turned to her. “I didn't know.”

She looked directly at him a small frown forming on her lips. “It only was days to you? All…this time?”

He nodded and Jaken perked up. “I'm…shocked. Neither of us thought anything was different, it seems like only the other day we left.”

Rin hung her head. “Did you fix your sword, my lord? Do you have to return there? Are you going to leave…again?”

“Our business there is done.”

She breathed in deeply and sighed relieved, her hands trembling on her lap as she lifted her head to him once more. “Are you hungry? I can gather food. Jaken-sama there is a fish inside on the table.” Jaken glanced to Sesshoumaru. He nodded his head and Jaken dashed for the hut. “I'm sure I can find something for you…”

“I am fine.”

Rin nodded with a disheartened look on her face. “Do you want more water?”

“No.”

“Is there anything I can do, Sesshoumaru-sama?”

“Rin,” he grumbled.

She sniffled and wiped her cheeks, looking away from his eyes. Her hands were still shaking.

He sighed and softened his tone. “Rin.”

Suddenly her arms were around his neck, her face pressed into his shoulder as she began to sob. “Sesshoumaru-sama!”

He pulled her against his chest and held her tightly. It was the least he could do to comfort her. She was shuddering uncontrollably as he smoothed the hair along her back. Sesshoumaru spotted Jaken walking out of the hut with the fish in his mouth. He shot him a look. Jaken bowed and retreated inside silently. Rin continued to cry against his shoulder. He could only imagine how she felt. Having survived alone for so many years was one thing for a child, but a girl who was not trusting of humans was another. Then to see him suddenly after so much time had passed...He wanted to know how she'd managed. Who taught her to use the sword? Where did she get it? How many demons had she fought off? But as each question formed in his mind, the one that struck him the hardest was why she waited for him. She knew the lay of the land. She knew where villages were. Why had she made her home here…where they `vanished'?

Sesshoumaru hugged her to his body, not willing to let her go, at least until she stopped trembling. He rested his chin on her head and caught her scent once more. Her hair smelled of river water, on her kimono a hint jasmine. He lowered his mouth to her ear and spoke softly. “Stop crying, Rin.”

The girl sniffed and brushed her cheek against his shoulder and when she lifted her head, he felt her breath on his neck and chin. His arm clutched her tighter, his muscles tightened in a natural reaction to the weight of her body.

She pulled back and wiped her face. “I'm sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

He kept her close, staring down at her. “You should rest.” Rin nodded and shifted against his leg, but he didn't let her go. “We will talk in the morning.” He moved his hand away and Rin rose to her feet. He watched her walk to the hut and saw Jaken moving out as she neared the doorway. She bent down and took him in her arms hugging him tightly.

“I'm so happy you're back, Jaken-sama.”

Surprisingly, the small demon squeezed her neck, tears in his eyes. “We didn't know, Rin…silly girl! Now let me go!” he stammered, though remained in her arms instead of struggling as he'd done in the past. Sesshoumaru nodded slightly to him, way of thanks; they both disliked seeing Rin upset. When she finally released him, he scurried over to the tree. Sesshoumaru's gaze didn't leave her until she disappeared inside. He let out a long breath and rested his head back on the trunk of the tree.

“I…can't believe she stayed here. Why would that stupid girl do that?” Jaken asked, obviously confused.

Sesshoumaru could venture to guess, Rin probably had many reasons. They had become her surrogate family. He had protected her for years. It was obvious she cared. Though he wanted to deny the truth, he cared too. “I told her to wait, and she did.”

“Stupid girl, she should have found somewhere. I…am glad she's unharmed.”

Opening his eyes, Sesshoumaru turned to Jaken then rose from the ground. “Remain here,” he ordered then vanished into the forest.

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Rin was still awake when she heard his footsteps fade away. Her heart was still pounding beneath her skin. He'd finally returned to her. Her beautiful, wonderful, and powerful Sesshoumaru came back. She dreamt about him, almost every night ever since he left. Nights when he was not in her dreams, she feared she'd forget and sang the songs she made for him constantly wishing he'd hear her and appear.

As she stared at the few speckled stars through the cracks in the roof of her hut, she rubbed her forehead and sighed heavily. She had gone through so much while he was gone; fighting off demons, chasing away humans, hunting for food, among other things. She had escaped from many different situations, ones she wasn't sure she wanted to share with him. Knowing his disposition, some of the more troubling incidents wouldn't sit well. How could she tell him without angering him?

Closing her eyes, Rin breathed in, Sesshoumaru's smell was still on her clothes. She shuddered slightly and clenched her thighs together. Oh no! That feeling was starting again. Her stomach flopped and her heart seemed to skip a few beats.

She began feeling this way a couple years after Sesshoumaru vanished. Her body continued to change. Her breasts grew, her hips filled out, and her waist shrunk. It just added to the other changes she'd suffered as a human girl. She didn't understand, for a long time why her body acted the way it did. Thankfully, she made some short-term friendships with travelers—one family in particular and learned.

They were heading to the east, a young human couple with a baby. Rin stumbled upon them downstream from her hut, fishing in the river. The baby was wailing, obviously malnourished by his pale skin. His mother, also unwell, was trying her best to sooth him. She had startled them but didn't chase them off, instead she offered them food and shelter.

They stayed for a few weeks, until both mother and baby were back to full health. Hiori was a sweet and attentive wife and mother. She became a quick friend. Rin was more than happy to have someone to talk with. Rin was careful not to reveal too much information, but when Hiori learned she was an orphan, it was easier to ask questions about womanhood. She answered every single question Rin posed, even ones Hiori felt she was too young to know about. Rin, however, knew she'd never learn otherwise and begged for answers. Hiori eventually told her all she could, even sharing illicit stories from the Genji Monogatari.

When she caught Hiori and her husband together in the woods, Rin truly understood all she had learned. She watched them make love, listened to the sounds they brought out in each other, and by the time they were through, she was highly aroused and found her own release, safely hidden in the brush.

Rin's mind snapped back to reality. Her hand was nestled between her legs, her fingers slightly moist. Quickly, she withdrew it. She wouldn't do that with Jaken and Sesshoumaru nearby. Though he was normally the reason for the feelings that stirred inside, especially after she dreamed of him, she couldn't chance him hearing her.

Pulling the kimono tight, she rolled onto her side and shut her eyes. Slowly, she cleared her mind, tossing aside thoughts of the morning, what she would say to him and allowed the calm wind whistling through the window to lull her to sleep.

 

 

Two

It was still dark when Sesshoumaru returned to the river. He had at least two hour before the sun would rise. Heading north, he followed the winding trail of water back toward the camp. Having scouted the land thoroughly, Sesshoumaru was satisfied for the moment. The area was safer than he'd left it.

He froze.

Rin's scent was strong in the air. It was different, hinted with blood. Whipping his head around, he searched the area with his eyes looking for her. Had she followed him into the woods? Breathing in, he continued at a slightly faster pace, keeping up with the rapid beat of inside his chest. Was the camp attacked?

Alert, he followed the river all the way up, still seeing no sign of her. As he moved toward the hut and passed a sleeping Jaken, he heard a soft cry. Instantly, he shifted into the hut, his fingers curling around the hilt of Tokijin.

Then he saw her.

She was not under attack, sobbing, or hurt, but sleeping.

Lying on her back, Rin's legs were parted slightly, her hand between them. The left side of her kimono was off her shoulder exposing a perfect breast. Sesshoumaru drew in a sharp breath when she moaned. There was a sudden tightness in his hakama, a feeling he often ignored and hadn't experienced in many years. The sight of her transfixed him. Rin rolled on the blanket, her eyes shut tight, her skin flushed and glistening where the moonlight sprayed through the room. He stared for a moment longer, and then walked out. He continued until he reached the river, when he did, he finally breathed.

He didn't know what to think. He was bewildered. She was an adult now, and humans just like demons had natural instincts. Her body was in its state for conception, which was the change in her chemistry. The scent of her arousal, however, caused his own body to react, and that was dangerous. Slowly, his fingers uncurled from his sword, the circulation finally returning. He grumbled slightly, the impulse had emerged and it was only a matter of time before he had to succumb to its call.

Shutting his eyes, he breathed shallow to keep her lure from working on him again, and cleared his mind. What he knew of human life was minimal. He'd learned various aspects of their livelihood through Rin and others from his past. Once a month, human women had the ability to conceive. It was not unlike a bitch's cycle. The human call was not as strong and lasted only a few days. Yet another reason he hated being around humans.

He was desensitized to Rin's monthly change before he left. At first, he despised it. It was uncomfortable at times, but he found he could ignore it by going away during those times. Now, she was a woman, something he still hadn't processed completely, and seeing her catering unconsciously to the needs of her body awakened his own.

“Sesshoumaru-sama?” Her soft, sleepy voice penetrated the air and his body tensed. He reluctantly looked over his shoulder. The kimono was on normally, though loosely open at the neck, her hair was unkempt and gently blowing around her face and body. Stripping his eyes away, he closed them. He wouldn't even let the thought cross his mind.

“Is Jaken awake?”

“No, he's still sleeping. Do you wish me to wake him?”

“Yes,” he replied and opened his eyes upon feeling the rays of sunlight. After the scuffling of her footsteps faded, Sesshoumaru knelt down and dipped his hand in the water, then cooled his face and neck.

“You asked for me, my lord!” Jaken yapped when he appeared on the bank.

“I will talk to Rin then I will be away for a few days.”

“Very well, my lord, where are we to go?”

“I…will be away.” He stood up.

Jaken stammered and bowed low. “Yes, my lord. Am I to stay with Rin?”

“Yes, we…will stay here until I have come to a decision.”

“What have you to decide, Sesshoumaru-sama?” Rin's voice called.

He turned to her; she had two cups in her hand. Bending down, she gave one to Jaken, then stepped closer and lifted the other. Sesshoumaru gripped her wrist in a reaction he didn't quite comprehend. Rin's eyes went wide his fingers were too tight. He released her quickly, stripped the cup from her hand, and turned around. He cursed himself and sipped the water; his trek had left him tired and agitated, he concluded. “Jaken, tend to Ah-Un.”

Sesshoumaru didn't move, speak, or breathe much as he stood at the riverbank watching the water cascaded down the cliff. Rin remained behind him. She was resolute, and it humored him slightly.

“Can we talk? Please, Sesshoumaru-sama.” He nodded his head and proceeded to a large rock near the end of the valley. Obedient as ever, she followed, staying a step behind. After shifting the angle of his weapons, he turned and sat down on the stone and glanced at her.

Dressed in a fresh kimono, Rin had her hair tied back loosely on her neck. She looked happy. Her scent had calmed, but it lingered. Rin graced a smaller stone across from him. The jittery and restless young girl he remembered had become a stunning and refined woman. Sesshoumaru's teeth clenched as the thought caught him; he closed his eyes a moment, and then looked to her. “Tell me what happened.”

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There was so much to tell. Rin took a few seconds to collect her thoughts. He hadn't changed at all, from what she remembered. Only days, she reminded herself. It was still troubling, but she knew him well. Sesshoumaru liked pertinent information, quickly, with little emotional attachment added.

“After it became evident you weren't returning soon, I built the shelter and settled here to wait. Ah-Un and I were attacked a few times over the first two years, so I stole a weapon and learned to wield it.” She studied him, he didn't seem distant; there was something different. It was in his eyes. Pride, maybe. Unable to hide her surprise, she smiled and continued. “Ah-Un is a good teacher, we protected each other, hunted, played, and we even helped a family. They helped me with the shelter but had a sick baby...” she frowned slightly. “They weren't like the other humans. We fended some of them too. But time passed and we were left alone. It's funny. I talked to him about you yesterday and then…” She smiled again and dipped her head feeling her cheeks flare.

“What humans attacked you?”

“The first group was travelers, it happened not long after you left. They wanted me to go back to their village thinking I was too young to be alone. I told them I didn't want their help, Ah-Un scared them away. The second time was…” She paused and looked up meeting his eyes. “Some men, but I had learned to defend myself by then.”

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. Rin's pulse thumped through her chest. She had angered him…or had she? Behind the rage was something else, but it was directed toward her. “What did they do, Rin?”

She stared at him, her heart racing. “Nothing, Sesshoumaru. They tried to take me too. I wouldn't let them.”

“They didn't harm you?”

“I was injured, yes, but they were mostly superficial.”

“Rin, tell me what happened,” he repeated, his tone like a shard of glass.

“We fought them for a long time. Several of them had me cornered. Ah-Un was fighting another group…” She looked down at his hand, his deadly nails were pressed deep into the fabric of his hakama, and his fingers were white as snow. If she told him more, he'd get so angry that he'd hunt down each human. She couldn't tell him.

“Continue, Rin!”

She jolted and her body shuddered, the words coming faster than she could censor. “They said horrible things, Sesshoumaru-sama. Things they were going to do to me. They cornered me against the hill, one of them ripped at my shirt. I tried to fight them off, I was so scared. I called for Ah-Uh, but he couldn't get to me. I wouldn't let them…do. I…I killed one and hurt the others.” Tears were streaming down her face. “You don't have to hunt them, Sesshoumaru-sama. They didn't hurt me, not really. Please, don't be angry with me, you wanted to know.”

He stood up swiftly, his voice booming. “With you?”

Rin jumped to her feet and grabbed his arm. “I was weak and scared.”

Sesshoumaru gazed down at her. He ripped his arm from her grasp and took her chin in the palm of his hand lowering his face to her cheek. He thundered against her ear. “Do you truly realize what those men could have done to you?”

She held her breath, her gaze skewed, afraid to speak. His eyes sparked, she looked away, her voice just a whisper. “Yes, they did not speak of battle wounds.”

“Then why do you think I would be angry with you?” His fingertips slid along her jaw as he turned her head straight, pulled back some, but kept his gaze locked on hers. Rin felt dizzy. With his appearance yesterday, the feelings starting again, and the way he was looking at her now was beyond overwhelming. That piece she was missing before was clear; she knew why he was angry now by that simple statement. He feared what they had done. He cared, it was the first time she had ever seen it in his eyes. It was not the attack, or her weaknesses, it was about whether or not they had hurt her. The realization warmed her entire body, but being so close to him, having his hand on her skin, was causing something completely different inside.

“I didn't want you to take revenge on them. I thought if you knew what they said and tried to do…”

“If they had…” His voice trailed, he released her from his grasp.

She looked up at him seeing his body was shaking. Had the thought of those men hurting her in such a way enrage him that much, but why? Oh no. It hit her suddenly; he realized that she knew about her body. Rin placed her hand on her stomach. “It's time for you to leave then…” She knew he had stayed away when she was younger. He used to leave when she felt the first pain and return a few days later. Why he left, she was still unsure, but it had to do with her cycle.

“Yes,” he replied.

“I wish it didn't offend you…to have you back…” she whispered. He stared at her, still holding something back. Why did he have to hide, she wasn't a child anymore. Couldn't he tell her why? If she didn't offend him, what was it? She stepped closer. He moved away, turning his head.

“It is not offence, Rin.”

“Then what? Do you realize what I have gone through to remain here…waiting for you?”

“I didn't know.”

“So envision it! I was alone. I was scared. I worried for you and Jaken-sama. I have feelings, Sesshoumaru-sama. I've been waiting, hoping, praying for ten years! To you time is nothing, but not for me...Look at me! I'm grown. I had struggled, starved, and neared death again just to be here when you returned. Don't leave again so soon, please!”

“Things have changed, Rin.”

“They always do, always will…can't you stay? There's so much to tell you.”

“You have told me enough. I am going.” He stepped to leave.

Rin blocked his path staring straight up into his eyes. “When will you return?”

“I will not know…until I decide.”

“That is the decision you have to make, whether or not to come back? You leave me here for ten years, come back for one day, and threaten to leave again?” She gawked, her voice rising and trembling.

“It is not a threat but a decision. You should be with humans.”

“I want to stay with you,” she stated.

“My absence has deprived you, it is time you lived as a human.”

“I have lived the way I've wanted. I could have found a village. I never wanted to, I was waiting for you!”

“Why?” he asked.

“For the same reasons you've always come back, no matter how long I waited.”

 

 

Three

Sesshoumaru floated through the sky, heading away…far away, from Rin's camp. He did something he'd never done before. He promised he would return at least to tell her his decision.

The image of her self-pleasuring flashed in his mind, clouding his thoughts. Her lure was so much stronger now. If he kept his distance like in the past, perhaps they could travel together again. He had time to decide.

Rin's attitude was something else to behold. She was audacious, questioning him. Why did he go back for her? When she was younger, it was because he felt obligated to protect her. He began to care for her as the time passed, and even when she started to change, she was still the same Rin. Now things were different. Rin was older. She no longer needed his protection. His responsibility to her no longer applied. Still, she had waited so long for him was proof she cared. Did he care enough to do the same? Could he overcome her changes? She was a sexual being, she knew about the impulses of her own kind, and she had prompted his urge, powerfully without knowledge. He had to get away from her.

Since he did, he could suppress himself for months. If he stayed, it would only have made matters more difficult.

Once they argued through whether or not she should be with her own kind, which she won— I will stay here alone then until I die…again. I don't need humans—he prepared her for his departure. He refused to tell her why he had to leave, he couldn't tell her what he'd seen and what it had done to him.

He eventually cast it off as a fluke; this time away allowed him recover. He'd return, and before it happened again the next month, he would disappear for a few days. He wasn't going to punish her because of nature anymore than he could control his own physical reactions.

It is decided then. A few days were all he needed, and then things would settle down. He knew he had to adapt. Rin was no longer a child. He would have to treat her differently. She was able to take care of herself now, completely, and wasn't timid to speak her mind. Though he was always honest with her, he had left out details occasionally when he felt the need to protect her, and there were times he was unsure what to tell her. So now, he felt a sense of relief that he and Jaken didn't have to answer questions anymore. They would all stay together, for now.

As he wandered aimlessly through the sky the second day, he actually wondered what Jaken and Rin were doing.

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Jaken passed Rin a fish that he caught and cooked. She smiled, settled it on a cracked ceramic plate, and began peeling back the scales. He threw two over to Ah-Un, then settled back to eat the feast. They hadn't eaten the entire time in the other world. Unlike Sesshoumaru, Jaken needed to eat more than occasionally. When his belly extended, he leaned back and let out a sigh.

“It was good, Jaken-sama?”

“Of course it was! I cooked it didn't I?”

“You did!” She crossed her eyes playfully. “Thank you, it was nice of you.”

“Rin,” Jaken said softly as he walked over.

“Hmm?”

Standing full height, he barely came up to her shoulder when she was sitting down. Unable to stop, he smiled at her. Her loyalty to Sesshoumaru and himself was surprising, but he quite liked the person she'd become. It took him most of the first day to get used to her height. That wasn't the only change he noticed. She was not as excitable as she once was. She had an elegant quality that reminded him of Sesshoumaru. He didn't even tire when she spoke for hours about all the things she'd done over the years. Rin had blossomed. It was then he knew he could do something to ease them back to a level of comfort.

“What…Jaken-sama?” She smiled brightly in return.

Jaken grabbed her hand and pulled her arm. “Show me where you've picked your flowers.”

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Rin was cleaning the dishes in the river when Sesshoumaru returned. The sight of him from the corner of her eye stopped her heart. Though her hair, she could see him look her way. She continued with the dishes as if he never appeared. She was very curious about his decision still, but made no effort to tend to him. Not only did she have nightmares while he was gone, she was still upset with him. Jaken, no doubt, would tell him. In a strange twist of events, she and Jaken bonded in a way they never had before. They talked so much more in the last three days then in all the years they'd traveled together. She no longer annoyed him…he said. His honesty was shocking, but she returned with her own confession and called him ungrateful. Laughing at the past was undoubtedly stranger for Jaken. No real time had passed for him…and for Sesshoumaru.

She sighed suddenly and rinsed her hands in the water. Perhaps it was best he did leave. She was feeling so many different things now, it was impossible to understand them all. He was alive, and safe that mattered most. If she couldn't stay with him…she would stay alone.

She loved him.

It was inescapable.

When Hiori told her stories about the way she felt when her husband went off to war, Rin didn't understand it. She didn't know love came with physical feelings. But when she felt the same things Hiori spoke of after Sesshoumaru left, she understood. Her heart ached. She worried. Jaken had to force her to eat. All the dreaming, waiting, feelings that changed in her were all because she loved him. Now she felt the need for something…more. Sesshoumaru could never…would never feel the same.

“Rin,” his voice cut through her thoughts. She rose with her dishes and turned to meet his eyes.

“Welcome back, Sesshoumaru-sama,” she replied, bowing her head.

“It's time to go.”

She looked up. “Can I bring some things?”

He nodded and Rin juggled the dishes in her hands then rushed back to her hut. He hadn't decided to leave! She couldn't stop the thumping in her chest; the doubts began to float away.

First, she grabbed Ah-Un's saddle basket and filled it with her clothes, bedding, cups—as an added luxury—and bath items, then wrapped up the rest of Jaken's fish. After finding her zori, she collected her own personal treasure; a reading scroll of renga, Hiori had given her. Rin carried the basket to her faithful friend and fastened it tightly to his saddle. She retrieved her wakizashi from against a nearby tree, sliding it in her obi. Satisfied, she returned to the riverbank and approached Sesshoumaru.

“Let's go.” He turned and lead away from the camp.

Rin followed, a smile on her face, Jaken on one side, Ah-Un on the other, leaving the waterfall, the hut, and all the memories behind.

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Months passed. They traveled far away from the hut, and all the other familiar locations he knew. There is nothing left to do in this land, perhaps it was time to go home. With no idea what he would find after so many years, Sesshoumaru decided he would take his time traveling there. After all, there were still demons to fight. Various worthless creatures crossed his path during scouting jaunts; none caused alarm. The presence of powerful yokai had become severely limited. Perhaps his half-breed brother was useful over the years as this was where he preferred to be.

Things did not seem to change much. Rin followed, tended to Ah-Un, gathered food, and entertained Jaken. He forced himself to be more appreciative of her efforts knowing human's thrived on compliment. It caused a pleasing reaction in her every time; she smiled. He wondered how many smiles she gave away in the last ten years.

Sesshoumaru finally stopped just before sunset in the midst of a thick forest. The clearing was large and provided enough cover. Rin gathered wood, Jaken made the fire. When they readied to eat, he took his leave to survey the area. He covered the entire forest, and by the time he started back to camp, it was dark.

Pushing through the trees, he came upon a small pond. It was wide and deep enough for Rin, he would mention it when he returned. After quickly hopping over it, Sesshoumaru paused, catching her scent nearby. He followed it back toward the camp, and when he pulled back a large tree branch, he saw her standing next to Ah-Un removing the saddle basket.

He took a step toward her, and then abruptly her kimono floated off her shoulders and fell to the ground. His eyes flickered seeing a long bumpy red scar half hidden by hair on her left shoulder. Sesshoumaru's body orbed to her location in an instant. He thrust his hand under her hair and flipped it over her right shoulder then gazed down her body. She was shuddering; he hadn't meant to startle her. His hand rested on her neck, but she didn't relax. Through clenched teeth, he whispered. “How did this happen?”

“A demon, its tail was like a blade. Ah-Un killed it though.”

Sesshoumaru hung his head. Yes, it had been months, but Rin had years of stories to tell. Each one angered him just the same. Seeing her scarred, however, infuriated him. He was not there to protect her, the guilt never subsided only grew. When he opened his eyes, he trailed the scar all the way. It ended just above the curve of her right…he blinked, removed his hand and turned around. Then he breathed in. Woman…what are you doing to me? How could she be aroused? He'd only just returned from his self-imposed exile a few days ago.

“I would have told you about the scar, Sesshoumaru-sama. I…just hadn't gotten to that fight yet.” He heard the soft sing of fabric behind him, but the damage was already done. He was already straining against his hakama, again. When she appeared at his side, he closed his eyes. “Are you angry with me, my lord? There is still so much, I'm unsure what you want to know. If you will tell me…”

“It is fine, Rin, I will not interrupt you again.” He took a painful step and opened his eyes only to see her standing in his way.

“Why are you going?”

“I must.”

“Why? Can't we talk; you just returned and haven't spoken to me until tonight.”

Sesshoumaru looked up to the night sky. “Go rest, Rin, we are leaving early.”

“But—”

He didn't hear anymore, instead, he shimmered from her presence and took to the sky once more. Why had she become aroused? It wasn't her time. He thought for a long time as he floated in the air and could come to no conclusion other than his presence. Was that the reason she was staying with him? Was he bringing out these urges…in her too? The appearance of her naked by the waterfall, her legs over Ah-Uh, the pleasure on her face in the hut, and the look just now seared in his mind. He tried to recall the small, innocent Rin he knew only months ago, but she would not come and calm him. All he could see was the breathtaking Rin. She was haunting him.

Sesshoumaru growled. He would not! He could not! The curse that befell his father, his half-breed brother, would not become his own. His lust would not subside, though. His mind couldn't shake her image. Attempting to gain control only irritated him. It churned inside him like poison. He bolted to the ground, crimson eyes peering through the darkness. He lifted his nose in the air and followed a scent, bent on finding release.

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Jaken was slumped over a rock watching the stars when he heard Ah-Un's grunt and heavy footsteps. He jumped up and looked around. Rin had flowers in her hand. He smiled, but only to himself. He didn't want the girl to get a full head. She looked flushed; she'd probably run through the field when she found it.

“I don't think Sesshoumaru-sama will be back tonight,” she sighed and sat beside his rock.

“Why? What did you do this time?”

“I…Jaken-sama, don't say mean things. I didn't do anything. He…noticed a scar and he got angry.”

“Scar? On you…where? How did it happen,” he asked, and listened to her explanation. “I don't know why'd he be so upset….are you sure you didn't say anything else?”

Rin shook her head. Jaken mumbled and twisted the Staff of Heads in his fingers. “Hmm, well no sense worrying, he'll be back.”

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Sesshoumaru returned at daybreak. He approached the group sleeping in the clearing. Rin was on her back, the blanket tight around her neck. Flowers decorated her hair, Jaken's clothing, and a few remained in his fingers. Any other time, he might have found humor in the display, but the powerful demon dropped to his knees and slumped against a nearby tree. Through narrowly opened eyes, he saw Rin jump to her feet. He smirked faintly; her instincts were better noting that his presence woke her.

“Sesshoumaru-sama,” she whispered and rushed to his side, a small bundled cloth in her hand. “You are hurt!”

“I will be fine,” he replied. Jaken grumbled awake and the scene repeated. They both stayed knelt in front of him expecting answers. “I found a nest. It was destroyed.”

“How many did my lord send to the netherworlds?”

“Enough,” Sesshoumaru replied.

Rin reached out her hand to his shoulder. “Do you need…” He grabbed it and pushed her away.

“No, leave me. I will be fine.”

“Yes,” she sighed dejectedly, bowed, and rose to her feet. Instead of going to her blanket, she walked away from the clearing and into the forest.

“Don't wander too far!” Jaken called out. “What happened, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

“I've already told you.”

“Rin said you were angry and left, what did she do,” Jaken squawked.

“Nothing.”

“Then why did you leave.”

“Jaken!” Sesshoumaru's voice blazed.

“We were concerned, my lord, do not be angry. Was it the scar you saw? She said Ah-Un killed the demon long ago.”

His eyes snapped open, his body tensed, and he glared at the small kappa. “What did she tell you of the scar?” Jaken repeated the same story he'd already heard, and didn't elaborate further. But he wanted to know. “Did she say anything else?”

“Well, no my lord, why? Was it a terrible scar?”

“Damaging, but not the cause for my departure.” He wasn't going to share any of it with Jaken. She hadn't confessed anything either. Whatever it was that caused her arousal remained within her. For that, he was thankful, he wasn't sure he wanted to know the truth.

He took out his frustrations on the demons during the night. He fought as many of them as he could until he was exhausted and on the brink of being truly injured. It was enough to quell the rush in his body. Now, it had passed and he could think clearly. Shutting his eye, Sesshoumaru rested his body and said no more until he was ready to travel again.

 

 

Four

Another month passed. Sesshoumaru left and came back in his usually three days. Rin hadn't said more than ten words to him since he returned. It was becoming more difficult to control the thoughts and feelings running through her body. She'd taken to finding her release while bathing. It was the easiest way to conceal it from Jaken and Sesshoumaru, but it had become more frequent. At times, she felt her entire body tingle from a single look.

His actions sometimes confused her. His mood shifted often. He was warm and kind, and then in an instant he'd turn angry and raised his voice to her. He refused to talk to her, eventually she stopped asking questions…again. It was as if she was a child all over again. Would he ever see her as the person she'd become?

Silently, she trailed the others, keeping to herself. They'd been walking for hours. She was growing tired, but she wouldn't complain. Sesshoumaru didn't seem to be in a pleasant mood.

Suddenly he spun around and met her eyes. She froze and stared. He grabbed the hilt of his Tokijin. She took a step back. Before she could blink, he was in the air and zipping over her head.

Turning, Rin's hand went to the hilt of her wakizashi releasing it from its sheath, the rush waking her tired limbs. Scores of snake like yokai poured out of the mountain and woods. Jaken yelped and jumped onto Ah-Un firing his staff overhead at ones that neared. Sesshoumaru was still in the air slashing and thrashing expertly and with purpose. She twisted the blade in her hand and when the yokai approached, she began fighting.

“Get back….Rin?” Jaken screeched then came to her side, several demon heads resting around her feet. “Impressive, I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it.”

She stood with Jaken taking care of the demon intrusion like old warrior friends covering and protecting one another. The swarms of yokai continued around them, each member of the party handling the load with ease. They were weak demons, but numerous. A crackle of green lightening thumped on the ground and Sesshoumaru appeared behind them. Rin turned. He stood there looking confused. Noticing a yokai lunging at him, Rin leapt into the air and struck it down. He swung his sword at her head. She ducked and turned in time to see the remnants of another demon vanished from the air. She met his eyes; he smirked slightly and pushed her against his side as more approached. Jaken moved to his other, Ah-Un behind them, and together they fought the remaining yokai until the area was clear.

Once the fire was healthy and the food began to cook, Rin approached Sesshoumaru with a cup of water. After thanking her, he sipped it down and handed it back. She offered him a smile, hoping to break through even for a moment.

“Are you injured?” he finally asked.

Rin shook her head and sat beside him, keeping a respectable distance. “No, Sesshoumaru-sama.” She wouldn't dare ask if he was, she knew better.

“You did well. Your…form is careless but it can be tamed.”

“Then I will practice more.” Or you could offer to guide me, she thought.

“Humph, do not expect to find your skills in practice. One must fight to learn the true power they possess.”

“You did not tell me to stand back, you allowed me to fight. Does that mean you've finally accepted that I'm an…adult?” She kept her eyes focused on him.

“I regard you as I always have,” he replied coolly.

“But I can take care of myself now, I can fight.”

“You always could. You have a strong will.”

Rin smiled at yet another compliment. She bowed her head slightly and thanked him. Knowing it was best not to press further; she left his side and went off with Ah-Un.

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Sesshoumaru didn't trust the area, so he covertly followed Rin on her walk. She had held her own during the fight. He was impressed. He did not lie, her technique was amateurish and sloppy, but with time and perhaps a bit of training…Sesshoumaru paused and shook his head. He would not train her—Jaken could though. If he were to spend more time with Rin in such close proximity…showing her how to fight, testing her strengths and weaknesses…it could lead to…

Rin stopped near a small stream. She dipped her hand in and sipped some water. Sesshoumaru stayed in the shadow of the trees and watched. No jaki were present, the area was still safe.

When he turned his eyes back to her, she was again…nude. Her dark hair cascaded down her back leaving only the very bottom of her backside exposed. He could see the swell of her breasts from the side and it halted his breath. Once she turned, he felt his cheeks burn and the tightness return.

She carried a cloth to the river and began to wash her body. Sesshoumaru stood paralyzed watching the beauty in the moonlight. Her hands moved over her skin in long fluid strokes. She covered every inch of her neck, shoulders, and arms. Rin closed her eyes as her hand moved down over her breast. The pink tips reacted to the cloth and hardened. Sesshoumaru grunted but couldn't strip his eyes away from her.

The cloth moved over the curves of her hips, mesmerizing him. She cleaned the backs and fronts of her legs and he watched as she timidly lifted the cloth toward the patch of hair nestled between her thighs. Sesshoumaru drew in a ragged breath, pressing the stiffness he felt against the trunk of the tree that kept him hidden. His time away from her was not working. Her allure was overwhelming him.

Her head swiftly moved around the area as if searching, and then she sat down on the grass, parted her legs, and brushed the cloth over her skin. She tilted her head back, her eyes closed tightly. Sesshoumaru dug his claws into the bark, and then pushed himself away from the tree. Just as he was about to force himself to leave she moaned. He couldn't take anymore. Her scent was wafting through the air. She cried out softly and fell back on the grass, her other hand moving over her breast and down her stomach. He had never seen such a sight in his life. Her flesh pinked, she started breathing heavier, and her body began wiggling and gyrating in pleasure. It was building up faster with each stroke of her hand. She gasped for breath, her back arched off the ground. He used every bit of control he had to keep himself standing there instead of taking her right where she laid. He watched and watched, his own blood boiling, and just when he thought he could take no more Rin did something that made him soak his hakama.

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She couldn't take the burning in her body any longer; just washing was arousing. When she was sure she was alone, she took a moment to find release. It was the same as always at first, soft touches, strokes, rubbing here and there. Then images flooded her mind. The intensity built up quickly, her fingers moved over the aching nub between her swollen folds.

Feeling her body begin to convulse, Rin knew she was close. She shut her eyes, pressing her head firmly into the ground. She cried out, stroked, and rubbed faster. Her shoulders and back lifted up, and then the vibration rocked her body. “Sesshoumaru,” she called and exploded with pleasure.

Suddenly a thunderous growl echoed through the air. Rin jumped to her feet, reached for her weapon, and attempted to steady her weakened legs as her gaze searched the region. A flash of light appeared for an instant in the trees then vanished in a ball of blue high above the air. “Oh…no!” She cried her eyes went wide with horror. It was Sesshoumaru.

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The demon collapsed in a heap in the middle of a glade, his breath erratic and short. He laid there for a while, reeling from all that happened. Not only had her appearance roused his body, her smell, sounds, and the call of his name brought his own climax. She wanted him. She craved him. Thankfully, she did not see him.

Sesshoumaru rolled onto his back and stared at the stars. He had decided. The next village they came upon…he would leave her and never return. She wouldn't tempt him any longer. He would not succumb to the weaknesses of his family. Since he found some semblance of relief, he could manage a few more days, but there would be no swaying him. Rin belonged with humans. She had needs and desires he would not sate. With her gone, he could put it all behind him and journey home. He wouldn't let her haunt or entice him. It is decided.

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Jaken walked next to his master knowing something was very wrong. Rin had not said a word since the fight with the yokai. Sesshoumaru scouted every night—all night. Of course, he was afraid to ask his lord what was troubling him, but maybe the girl could shed light on the situation. Did they have an argument? Had Sesshoumaru told her she shouldn't fight?

After the forth day past, Jaken sat with Rin eating and watched her carefully. There was a subtle sadness in her eyes. “What is wrong with you?” he grumbled, agitated.

“Sesshoumaru-sama will leave soon and never come back.”

“What! How can you say such a thing! Sesshoumaru-sama would never abandon us!”

“No, Jaken-sama, he will not leave you…only me.” She slumped close to the ground, sighing heavily.

Confused, the kappa stood up and moved in her line of vision. “Just what is this nonsense you are talking about, Rin.”

“Do you really wish to know, Jaken-sama?”

“Don't be stupid, of course I do.”

“Though he is demon and I am human, he is male and I am female,” she stated evenly with little emotion in her voice. Jaken furrowed his brow and took a step closer. Just when he was about to ask what any of that had to do with the situation, he paused and his jaw dropped. “That is why he goes away! Don't you know that by now?”

“It is more than that, Jaken. I…care about Sesshoumaru-sama. I…I…love him,” she confessed quietly.

“You…what?” The small demon fell back aghast and stared at her. He rubbed his face and gently placed a hand on hers. His voice turned soft, he knew this was going to hurt. “Does he know this?”

“I'm sure he knows something, Jaken-sama. And I know he will send me away for he could never love me, I am a human.”

“It is not impossible, Rin,” Jaken stated gently brushing her hand.

“Jaken-sama, you are my only friend, I had hoped we'd over come lying to each other.”

“Listen little girl, Jaken does not lie. We demons can and do love, Rin. Sesshoumaru-sama's father loved and mated with a human.”

“An aspect of his lineage he detests,” she grumbled.

Jaken went silent for he had no counter. His lord hated humans. He had killed thousands of them with his bare hands. Sesshoumaru despised his own father for his choice in companionship, including the half-breed offspring. However, Rin was the one and only human Sesshoumaru had ever saved, protected, and cared for. Could he love her? Finally, he removed his hand, plucked a small flower from the grass, and handed it to her.

She looked at him and smiled, a tear trailing down her cheek. “Thank you, Jaken-sama.”

“I will…try to talk to him.”

Rin's eyes went wide with terror. “Don't! It will only make matters worse. Sesshoumaru-sama won't change, Jaken-sama.”

“Rin, haven't you noticed? He already has.”

The tension in the group was apparent; Jaken stole glances at Rin and Sesshoumaru when they interacted. He was cold. She was nervous. His lord spoke little. Rin spoke less. It was driving him insane. But Jaken knew he was right. Sesshoumaru had changed over the years. Though he never admitted it aloud, his actions spoke for him. He cared about Rin. Sesshoumaru's approval of Jaken had come when he received the Staff of Heads. That was all he needed to know Sesshoumaru's true feelings. Was the one thing Rin needed something his lord could offer? Every night Sesshoumaru left the camp, Rin pleaded with Jaken to keep quiet, and he had…thus far. This night, however, he felt the need to speak up. So when his master left, Jaken followed and waited for the right time.

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Sesshoumaru tracked the scent of humans until it ended at a small shack in the middle of nowhere. It was not a village, only an abandoned home. Sighing, he rested for a moment and searched the field with his eyes already aware of Jaken. When the staff appeared wobbling above the high brush, he closed his eyes and leaned back against the south wall of the feeble structure.

Jaken's footsteps resounded in the air then slowed. “What is it?”

“I was restless, my lord, you don't mind do you?”

“Fine.”

Jaken settled in beside him and sighed. Sesshoumaru opened an eye and gazed down. He smelled of Rin, and held a flower. When the demon sighed again, Sesshoumaru lowered his head glaring.

“Do you intend to leave Rin behind?”

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened at the question, his teeth gritting. “What I decide to do is of no concern to you.”

A very bold, very stupid Jaken stood up and stared right in his eyes pointing a tiny finger in his face. “That girl has supported and cared for the three of us her entire life. She wasted half of it waiting for us. Strike me dead if you wish, but I know you care about her. I care about her. You need to set aside your hate and see what you have before you, my lord. If ever I had someone love me the way she loves you…”

Sesshoumaru gripped the hilt of his sword, flicked his wrist drawing it from its sheath, and sliced it across Jaken's stomach before he could finish his words. The light faded. Jaken was still on the grass. Then his eyes blinked and he popped up.

“Next time, it will not be Tenseiga.”

“Forgive me, Sesshoumaru-sama,” Jaken screamed and genuflected repeatedly. “I worry for you both, and I was only trying to help.”

“Don't.”

“Will you send her away?”

“Yes,” he replied, rose to his feet and marched forth. Jaken caught up soon but remained silent for the rest of the night.

 

 

Five

Weeks passed. Nothing changed. Sesshoumaru was still not talking to her. He barely looked at her. Jaken was despondent. It was coming, soon. Was he going to force her to leave or would he one day never come back? The thought consumed her. She couldn't eat or sleep. The waiting and worrying tore her up inside. She felt utterly alone. All she wanted…was to be with him. Care for him, love him, talk, and laugh with him, like in her dreams. Why was it so hard for him to want that? She had decided. She would confront him tonight when they camped. She'd gone through more than enough trouble to stay with him. If he wanted her gone, she wasn't going to wait for it to happen. She deserved to hear it from his mouth. She would take matters into her own hands and force him to tell her why. She earned that answer.

She mumbled quietly and continued to follow them to the end of the cliff. Moving past Ah-Un then Jaken, she stood at the edge of the land and noticed the view. In the distance was a village. She hung her head and sighed softly. Balling her fingers into fists, she turned to Sesshoumaru.

“I wish to speak with you,” she said just as the ground beneath her feet rumbled. She heard the rock crumble and noticed the weightless feeling of her body as she began to fall. She saw nothing but gravel, dirt, and stars. She screamed. “Ah-Un!” Then fell into the darkness.

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Sesshoumaru knew a human village was near. As he led the way up the mountain, he felt his heart begin to race. The time to say goodbye was nearing and he was not sure he could. Though he threatened Jaken with his life to shut him up, it was the reasons why that plagued him. He didn't want to know Rin cared and loved him. He wouldn't follow the same path. Yet something was holding him back. He couldn't bear the sadness in her eyes.

He gazed along the horizon and looked sideways only to see Rin hanging her head, then she spoke, and then she was falling. Leaping into the air, he spotted her in the rubble only to hear her scream for Ah-Un. His heart stopped. She hadn't called for him. It…hurt him. Whenever she had been in trouble, she called for him. She relied on him to protect and rescue her. Now, she called for Ah-Un, the only one who had been there for her, ever…honestly.

With speed he didn't know he possessed, Sesshoumaru swooped through the cavern, caught her limp body in his arm just before she hit the ground and shot up through the darkness. He landed on the other side of the valley staring down at her, his entire body shaking. Wake up, Rin. Talk to me. He wanted to coax her awake, but the sight of her in his arm made him breathless. Could he let her go? Could he let the one being that cared about him, the only one he cared for, leave? She moaned, coming slowly to consciousness and his body tightened. This was the price of her presence. If he could not let her go, he would have to give in to love for he could have her no other way.

Her eyes fluttered open and she drew a sharp breath. He squeezed her body against his chest, shuddering. Rin's cheeks flushed, he hardened further and in a moment of weakness lowered his head and rumbled against her ear. Her fingers pressed into his chest and she breathed deeply against his cheek. His pulse raced, he tensed then quickly released her to her own support.

“Sesshoumaru-sama…” She moved to him and reached up her hand gently touching his cheek. He was bleeding, but her touch sent a shock down his spine. His fingers trapped her wrist and squeezed.

“Don't.”

“You're hurt,” she cringed in pain.

He pushed her back, harder than he meant. She fell to the ground and looked up at him, shock in her eyes. “I'm not.” He turned and walked away.

------------------------

Rin's heart was still racing when he faded into shadow. She was starting to understand. She was having the same effect on him, uncontrolled thoughts, desires, and needs of the body. Hers ruled by her heart, his…she didn't know. The way he looked at her with his arm unyielding around her body, the sound he made as he held her, and the final ignorant attempt to anger her as way of shielding his emotions made it all very clear. Sesshoumaru was fighting his own lust. Was it because of her or just a physical reaction? Had she tempted him without knowing? He had seen her, but they never spoke of it, did he know she saw him?

Her body was aching. His cheek against hers and the hunger in his growl turned her body to liquid and the sensation wasn't going away. She pressed her hands against the soft mound and shut her eyes. Rin dipped her fingers between her legs, the moisture easing the motion of her strokes. She yelped softly and stopped to untie her robe when she noticed the smell of her body on her fingers. Her eyes snapped opened realizing suddenly.

Then her eyes narrowed. If she was right…she could get him to come to her. It was time to put an end to this. She tossed her kimono on the ground and lay down upon it. The night air caressed her body; she sighed gently and touched her breasts and stomach. She let her hands trail slowly over her skin and down to the patch of hair. Teasing and fondling her body, Rin began to moan, holding back nothing. She let her voice rise through the air as her excitement built. She ventured inside her body, rubbed and stroked rhythmically with her breath. Sliding her fingers along the folds, she found her center and catered to its throbbing pleas.

Her pulse pounded under her skin, she started to call his name, softly at first, growing stronger with each jolt of pleasure that rocked her body. It felt like she was floating. A gust of wind ran across her body. She opened her eyes and climaxed just as Sesshoumaru appeared at her side.

--------------------------

“This ends now.” He stared down at her using ever bit of strength and control he had. Rin's body was shaking with pleasure, vulnerable and exposed to him. Of course, the guilt was still there having pushed her, but he knew a trap when he…smelled one. He was watching her from afar. She baited him, purposely calling his name. However, he would not give her any satisfaction, no matter what she said. “Get up.”

She stared up at him, her stomach dipping and rising quickly with her breath. A pool of sweat collected in her navel. Her entire body was tight and glowing, but she didn't move. She smiled.

He blinked, bent over, and pulled her to her feet by the arm. She was mocking him. He stared into her eyes and growled low; his grip tightening around her flesh. “Find your clothes and leave.”

“I'm not leaving.” She held her ground.

“You will do as I say.”

She ripped herself from his grasp and pushed him back. “I am a grown woman. I do as I please.”

“Fine. Do as you please.” He turned away and began walking.

“Do you fear me that much, Sesshoumaru-sama?”

Her statement gave him pause but he didn't look her way. “I, Sesshoumaru, fear nothing!”

“Oh, but you do. You, Sesshoumaru-sama, Lord of the Western Lands, fear loving a human. Just like your father and brother before you.”

His fingers were around her neck a heartbeat later. He could feel the rage blistering through his body. Rin stared at him with no fear in her eyes. She coughed some, but reached up her hand and touched the side of his face. His grasp tightened.

Her voice cracked. “Kill me, Sesshoumaru-sama. That is the only way to rid yourself of my love. You who gave me life…can truly end this now.”

He let go and she staggered back, rubbing the sides of her throat. But she stayed on her feet, pulled on her clothing and stared at him.

“Can you look at me and tell me that you don't desire me the same as I desire you?”

“I desire nothing,” he snapped.

“I've seen it in your eyes.”

“What you saw was nothing more than a reaction to your chemistry.”

“Just as what you saw is my reaction to you. You can try to mask your feeling by treating me horribly as you have or you can admit what you feel!”

“There is nothing to admit. I feel nothing.”

“Nothing, Sesshoumaru-sama? You felt nothing when you watched me fall. You felt nothing when I woke in your arms. You felt nothing when you growled your desires against my cheek. I knew you were there…that day. You watched me. For how long? Did it arouse you then…is that why you fled?”

His body tensed, she knew he was there, but what answer could he give? Yes, you tempt me. Yes, I crave you. Yes, I care for you. But I will never love you. I will never touch you. I will never take you…because you are human. “I have no need for what you offer.”

“If you had no need, it wouldn't trouble you so and thus you wouldn't have to leave. You can't betray your own body and heart, Sesshoumaru-sama. You can ignore it, but it will never go away. Haven't you earned the right to love? Haven't you fought enough, become powerful enough to seek out the pleasure life has given you? Will you ever allow yourself to know true happiness through love? Like your father and your brother. I have seen love. You can't hate what you don't understand because you have yet to admit it exists.”

He turned to her and met her eyes. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her eyes full of confusion, sadness, and…He felt his heart stop and his insides churn. Why? Why did she try so hard? Why did she want so much? Why did she need him?

“Why is it so wrong for you to love me?”

“I will not love a human!”

“Didn't you tell me one must fight to learn the true power they possess? Didn't you? Well here I am, Sesshoumaru-sama, fighting for your love…with my own. There is no greater power. You can fight the strongest demons of this world but you will never understand true power until you love!”

“Fool! Love is a weakness,” his voice erupted.

“Stop lying to yourself! Have you not seen its power with your own eyes? Have you not seen the lengths people go through to have love, to keep those they love safe?”

He didn't answer. Her words were tricking him. Yes, he had seen incredible power in others when protecting those they cared for. He himself had pushed the own limits of his energy at times to rescue Rin. Yet, he would not fall for her trap. Instead, he stared at her, thoughts racing through his head. He was growing angry again. She stepped closer to him, her big, beautiful, and loving eyes searching his face intently pleading him.

“All I want is to be with you, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

“You want too much.”

---------------------

He walked away, again. Rin stood in the middle of the grass, trembling, with tears streaming down her face. Her plan failed. She wasn't able to make him tell her anything. Even when she struck his pride and infuriated him, he refused to give in. Was she wrong this whole time? Were his reactions to her simply a demons natural call? Did he truly feel nothing for her?

She didn't stop him, though the fear of never seeing him again tore at her heart. Quickly, Rin ran off to find Jaken. If she could convince him, somehow, to talk to Sesshoumaru again, maybe she'd have a chance.

Her feet pounded the soft ground. She darted through tress and brush. The fire of the camp was in the distance and she sighed with relief hearing Ah-Un's grunt. However, it wasn't a happy sound; it was a warning.

Behind her, the trees exploded in an unworldly glow of red and the weightless feeling returned as the blast tossed her in the air. She landed with a thump on the ground and shook the pain from her head, slowly rising to her feet. She'd left her weapon on the saddle; she was defenseless and afraid. Rin tilted her head up, and up further to see a giant yokai with as many arms as it had eyes towering over her.

A spike like arm shot through the air. Rin jumped to her left dodging the attack, then to the right and left again as more arms pierced the night air. She shrieked when the planted spike arms grew tentacles and began wrapping up her legs. Rin dug her nails into its flesh, kicked, and wailed in horror. Its grip grew tighter, moving up her body. The eyes of the creature began to blaze. This enemy was not one she could defeat. As the appendages of the beast curled around her stomach, she drew in her breath and screamed.

“Sesshoumaru-sama!”

The yokai continued to surround and trap her; its limbs were almost up to her neck. She felt a strange wet warmth against her exposed skin. Rin screamed again. She didn't want to be devoured by a demon! She struggled and twisted her body trying to break loose but nothing was working. Where was Sesshoumaru? She cried for him again, and in a display of brilliant light, her lord appeared. He slashed the confining arms with Tokijin and pushed her behind him.

“Hide.”

“Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama,” she replied and began running for the trees. Rin could hear the battle begin from behind, but she didn't stop running. When she neared the trees, a smaller mirror image of the demon appeared before her. Rin halted and backed away her head lifting to see its arm strike at her. “Sesshoumaru-sama!” She felt the spike pierce her stomach, and then everything went white.

 

 

Six

The Lord of the Western Lands struck the demon with his Kanetsu removing dozens of its branches with each strike. They continued to morph from its body. Sesshoumaru lifted into the air, the swirl of jaki coming from every direction. Then he heard Rin scream again. Rin!

Whipping his head around, Sesshoumaru saw the second demon and chided himself for not being more alert. His eyes widened when the arm struck out, he moved toward her, but not quick enough. He landed in front of her just as the spike jerked out from her body exposing a hole no human could survive. RIN!

Sesshoumaru lifted his sword, his eyes bled. “Sou—Ryu—Ha!” The sword lashed out and thunderous whips of blue crackling light conducted along the ground and enveloped the smaller demon obliterating it in a million chunks of pulp. He rushed to Rin's side, thrust Tokijin into the ground, and elevated her in his arm. He stared at her face, her eyes wide with terror and death. His stomach clenched and he felt a tear on his cheek. Tenseiga pulsed. He looked too his side. Tenseiga, you speak.

Could he use it again? Could revive her? He rested her lifeless body on the ground and removed his father's blade. The beings from the netherworld surrounded her. Tenseiga called again, vibrating in his grip.

Kill me, Sesshoumaru-sama. That is the only way you will rid yourself of my love, her voice rung through his memory. No, he would not lose her this way. He wanted her to live. He swung the blade over her body, vanquishing the death dealers, but before he could take to her side, the first and larger demon howled. Sesshoumaru sheathed Tenseiga and tore Tokijin from the ground.

He battled the demon, sending every attack he had. His Souryuha did not work on this larger, more formidable opponent. The demon swatted Sesshoumaru like a bug with its many continuously morphing arms cutting his body repeatedly. Several struck past him, again heading for Rin. Sesshoumaru's blood coursed through his veins with blinding fury. His eyes flashed, widened, and hemorrhaged as his face began to transform. The wind whipped around him lifting his clothing and hair. His mouth expanded with razor fangs. An unequivocal infuriated growl erupted from his throat and the demon blasted through the air in a vivid radiance.

When the light exploded against the ground, the enormous three limbed taiyokai inugami appeared in true form snarling. He stood between the predator and its prey: Rin. The demon wailed and attacked. Sesshoumaru bounded into the air, his only front claw slashing out destroying the arms bent on attacking Rin. He shot forward, another strike of poisonous fumes followed leaving more and more pieces of its body on the ground. Again, the demon struck toward Rin. Sesshoumaru bayed and jumped to its chest. The spiked arms began plunging into his body.

The pain was excruciating.

His will to protect Rin fueled his body for it was the only thought that was clear between the chaos and wrath inside his riotous yokai mind.

With unyielding strength and resolve, Sesshoumaru chomped into its flesh with his fangs and began shaking his head. Blood and filth filled his mouth. His fangs dug further, his movements tearing the neck from the body. His clawed foot pierced the other side and with extreme force, Sesshoumaru separated the demons head in one last motion.

The inugami landed on the ground and limped toward the motionless apparition among the grass. She was so small next to his true form. His foot moved to her side, she was not even as large as his shortest claw. He lowered his head and pressed his large nose to her stomach. She didn't move but he knew she was alive. Carefully, he pinched her robe in his teeth and leapt into the air.

He traveled for a while, fighting the pain within his own body. Sesshoumaru finally landed in thick woods, resting Rin in his upturned paw. His body collapsed beside her. As tenderly as he could, he curled his claws inward to shield her body, pressed his nose to her hip, and passed out from the pain.

 

 

Seven

Rin dreamed of light and darkness. She dreamed of pain and death. She dreamed of her lord weeping over a mound of dirt. Rin gasped and her eyes popped open. Her body hurt. There was a sharp pain coming from her side, her legs were immobile.

She tilted her head and stopped breathing. Her kimono had a hole in it and was saturated in blood, but that was not what caused her shock. Sesshoumaru's arm was under her body, his hand clamped around her waist. His head was on her thigh, his body covering her legs. With a shaking hand, she reached down and moved her fingers through his hair, rubbing the side of his head. He purred softly and Rin's heart began to race. He had saved her. She owned him her life, again. It was obvious that she had died; she bore no wounds despite her clothing saying otherwise. Sesshoumaru did not let her die.

Her fingers moved along his sharp ear and she heard him breathe. She felt it against the inside of her knee and shuddered. Sesshoumaru moved his head up and looked at her. His eyes were still crimson, had he changed form…for her? His teeth and hand suddenly separated her kimono. He pressed his cheek against her stomach. Rin tensed and drew in a breath. Sesshoumaru's face slid down and licked her flesh sending tremors shooting up her body. He nestled his nose against her mound and went completely limp.

Rin couldn't move. She wasn't sure she wanted to. Her breath was as fast and erratic as a wind storm. She shut her eyes tight and tried to control herself. He was severely hurt, and all she could think about was the sensations her body was feeling. She spoke to him, if only to distract herself from the exhilaration his soft breathing was causing.

“Thank you, Sesshoumaru-sama. You saved me again.” She caressed his ear and the side of his neck. “Rin will love you forever. Even if you send me away or never return, I'll still love you. No other could fill my heart. You are my lord. My Sesshoumaru-sama. And even if I am only to love you in my dreams. I will love you.”

Her declaration wasn't helping, it only made the feelings surge through her body. Rin silently cried as her body shook. The last thing she wanted…was for him to wake and think…

He stirred again, pulling a deep breath. His fingertips dug into her skin and he molded himself against her as if he were afraid to let her go. He buried his nose between her legs and Rin gasped.

---------------------------

He woke to her confession. Her scent invaded his body and he hardened. Then her body started to shake, she was aroused. He breathed her in, it enticed, yet relaxed him. Sesshoumaru clutched her body and with his nose found the core of her scent. Her body quivered under him, the sounds coming from her lips took him by surprise, and though he was somewhat lost in his mind, he wanted to hear more.

Sesshoumaru pushed his chin between her thighs forcing them apart revealing soft wet flesh. The draw was too powerful. He didn't realize what he'd done until her taste was on his tongue. Rin cried, arching her back and freeing his trapped hand. He didn't remove it; instead, he slid his arm lower down her back and grabbed her hip. Her fingers curled through his hair, her free leg bent back. He tasted her again. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced. Her body was reacting feverishly to a simple act of exploration. Whenever he had mated in the past, it was a simple process of releasing the urge. There was little touching and pleasuring of the body, it wasn't needed. However, the sounds Rin made brought out his own desires fully and it was pressing hard against the ground with an ache he didn't understand.

The uncontrollable impulse continued, he tried to ignore it, he tried to pull himself away, but as he lapped at her wetness almost trying to stop its spell, he realized her body was craving more. He growled low and pressed his tongue inside her. Her ridged walls tightened and she screamed in delight. His erection throbbed. His fingertips dug into her skin, holding her with a desperate need to keep her near. The compulsion to smell her, taste her, and feel her, smoldered inside his body. Pulling his tongue from her void, he pressed his body flush against the ground. Licking a trail upward, he felt her shudder and lifted his eyes as he found her center. When she climaxed in a beautiful display of bliss, he followed, grunted, and collapsed beside her, his arm still underneath her body.

-----------------------

Rin woke with a smile on her face. She sat up and stretched then gasped and jumped to her feet searching the area. It wasn't a dream. She could still smell him. Her body was still flooded with afterglow. She searched for him. They…had to talk now, didn't they?

Hours passed, but finally, Rin found Jaken and Ah-Un. The kappa questioned her endlessly having known nothing of the fight with the demons. Rin didn't confess the unbelievable scene in the forest. They waited. Four days passed and Sesshoumaru had not returned. She feared he wasn't going to come back.

After the sixth day passed, Rin began collecting her belongings and clearing up the camp.

“What are you doing?” Jaken asked.

“I'm going to find him.” She had decided.

“Are you mad, little girl? Sesshoumaru-sama will return when he returns.”

“He won't return this time, Jaken, not unless I can find him.”

“Don't say foolish things! He will return! He will!”

Rin attached the saddle to Ah-Un and glanced back at the small figure standing in the distance. She placed a hand on her hip. “Are you coming or not?”

“Why won't he come back, Rin, what has happened?” Jaken scrambled to her side and climbed up onto the beast.

“Something he probably didn't mean to happen,” she answered carefully. If it was something he wanted, something he desired, he would have returned. Sesshoumaru, however, wanted nothing from her, his absence made that clear. But Rin wouldn't give up. Even if just to say her peace one last time, she wouldn't let him run away.

Jaken squawked and pounded the reins. Ah-Un lifted off the ground. Rin sat rigidly, her eyes searching the land below. Knowing Jaken could catch his scent was comforting.

They traveled for another week. Jaken spotted several demon graveyards along the land all fresh kills by Sesshoumaru. Rin was beyond worried. Had she driven him to this destructive state? He was hunting down and killing everything in his path. What was driving him?

Finally, Jaken caught Sesshoumaru's scent mixed with blood and snapped the reins for Ah-Un to descend.

------------------------------

He lay sprawled out in the tall grass. His body refused to move. He was lucky he could breathe. With his mind still reeling, Sesshoumaru shut his eyes and willed his body to heal. He had tasted the essences of a human. It made him want more. It made him wretch. She'd seized his heart and caused it to burn. Now his body and his heart wanted her.

So he fought. He massacred. He destroyed. Anything and everything he could do to keep his mind occupied. It was his only friend. He would not let it betray him! He wouldn't succumb to a human! The beast within surfaced several times over as many days. It helped to quiet his heart. When he'd pushed himself to the brink of his stamina, Sesshoumaru forced himself through it. Only Tenseiga kept him alive then.

Now, he laid waiting for the cretins of the netherworlds to swarm upon his body. They wouldn't come for he was not dead nor dying, but he wished it. Rin tormented him. No matter how much he put himself through, she was there in the front of his mind. Release me from this torture.

“Sesshoumaru-sama!”

His body tensed. Rin. She had found him. He couldn't allow her to be here, see him in this condition, but his limbs remained still.

“Sesshoumaru-sama!” Her voice wrenched with grief and pain, but when she appeared over him, she looked unharmed. Tears fell from her cheeks to his. He closed his eyes and breathed softly. “Jaken-sama! He is hurt badly!”

“Leave,” he grumbled quietly.

“No! I will not leave you,” she sobbed. Her arms moved around his back and she lifted his head to her lap. Rin's face pressed against his temple, he could taste the salt of her tears. “Please Sesshoumaru-sama, you can't die. I'll leave, I promise, just don't die.” She squeezed him tight pressing kisses to his forehead. “Please, please!”

“Leave, Rin!” Sesshoumaru commanded and tried to move his arm to push her away. It wouldn't comply.

She remained silent, her grip unrelenting keeping him close to her breast. He lay helpless in her crying arms feeling Jaken tend to wounds on his legs. When the demon was done, he and Rin shifted and pulled off his haori. She knelt under his head and stroked his forehead softly as Jaken wrapped the rest of his body to keep him from bleeding. He drifted in and out. Every time he woke, he was in another tangled position with Rin; his head on her legs, against her chest, or resting on her stomach. He felt warm, but it was not from the fire. Rin's caring touch scorched his flesh. The fifth time he came back from unconsciousness, she was nestled against his right side, her head in the crook of his neck. He felt her breath; her lips moist and soft brushed his skin rhythmically. He shuddered. Please….leave me be. He shut his eyes and begged for an end to the suffering. Rin stirred. Her fingers spread along his chest. His heart thumped. Finally, his arm responded and gripped her.

“Sess—”

He rolled Rin on her back, removed his arm, and supported his weight as he gazed down at her. Her cheeks instantly flushed and he could hear her pulse quicken. “No.” He pulled back and was unprepared for both her arms to fling around him. “Rin!”

Her lips burned against his neck. She trailed kisses up to his ear. “Don't leave.” Her voice pleaded and quivered.

“Stop!” He used his arm to push her back to the ground, pain invaded him, and he fell back. She rushed to him, helping him to rest on a tree trunk. After she brushed the hair from his eyes, Sesshoumaru caught the sadness and fear in her face. Why wouldn't she leave! He shut his eyes and grunted.

A few moments later, he heard rustling. “Drink.”

“I don't need it.”

“Drink!”

He looked at her. She was close, holding a cup to his lips, her own quivering. Rin was still crying. He parted his lips and she poured the cool water down his throat. She wiped his lip with her finger and stared into his eyes. What was he doing, allowing her to help him like this? He attempted to move, she pushed him back. Sesshoumaru growled. “Rin, enough! Get away, leave!”

“Not until you're well.”

He closed his eyes and spoke no more.

 

 

Eight

Three days later, Sesshoumaru was on his feet and scouting the area while the others slept. Rin had barely left his side. She forced him to drink and changed his dressings. She stroked his ears, his forehead, and his cheeks when he moaned in pain. She kept him warm, guarding him with every bit of strength she possessed, even when he threatened her.

When he returned to the camp, Rin was gone. He took off following her scent and found her sitting on the bank of a pond. Her head was down and her shoulders were shaking. He approached. She jumped from the ground and wiped her cheeks before meeting his eyes.

He didn't know what to say. She'd nursed him from the brink of death, saving his life. Ah, yes. “I'm releasing you.”

Her eyes widened. “Releasing me?”

“I have saved your life and you returned the gesture, go.”

Staring at him, she twisted the free part of her obi in her fingers. “Is that what you truly want, Sesshoumaru-sama?” He narrowed his eyes then turned his head. Suddenly her hand moved through his haori and scorched the flesh of his chest. “Look at me, now, and tell me to leave.” He met her eyes, her hand forcing his heart to beat intensely. He said nothing. Her other hand touched his cheek and stroked softly, he shuddered. “I can ease your pain, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

“You are the cause.”

“Because you won't admit you need me.”

“I need no one,” his jaw clenched and his fingers wrapped around her wrist pulling it from his cheek. He was tired, his body still healing.

“I can feel your heart; I can see the desire in your eyes.”

“No.”

“Yes,” she pressed her body against him her nails scratching his skin gently as her hand moved lower.

“I won't.” He shuddered, his fingers tightening, but he didn't…couldn't push her away.

“You can,” she said softly and looked up into his eyes. “Sesshoumaru.”

“No, Rin!” he released her and shifted a few feet away. He regretted it immediately, it took a lot of energy…energy he didn't have. It made him dizzy.

“I love you!”

His knees went weak. Stop! He dropped. She ran to him catching him, his weight crushing her to the ground. No more!

Rin's arms clutched his back keeping him in place. “Don't send me away, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

He breathed in, catching the scent of her hair, his arm wrapped around her back he rumbled low. “You cannot stay, I cannot ignore this any longer, but I will not yield!”

“Listen to your heart!”

He pinched the flesh of her neck between his teeth. Her breath caught and her arms constricted. She was in him; her scent, her flavor, her voice, his body craved her, his heart hammering for her. He saw flash after flash of images from his past. His father and mother, his father and the human, his half-breed brother, and then it changed to Rin. Rin smiling, laughing, and singing. Rin reaching for him and calling his name. Rin grown and beautiful. Rin moaning and shaking. Rage and love battled through his mind. His body, however, craved more. He lifted slightly and pulled her kimono off. He stared at her body and she trembled. He cupped the base of her head and tilted it back as he lowered his mouth to her neck. He licked her hot flesh, caught her arousal in his nose, and hardened against her leg.

Rin moaned deeply as her fingers parted his haori and pushed it from his shoulders. He didn't stop her; he wanted to feel her body against his. Her fingers glided over his shoulders and down his arms. She caressed the damaged bicep and squeezed gently as her mouth kissed the side of his ear. He pressed his chest to her as his tongue trailed down her neck, licking all the spots he'd seen her touch. He kneaded her skin and came upon her breast, small dark nipples begging for him. He glossed over it, Rin cried, he stiffened more. Stop! Stop! He released her and pulled up to look down at her.

“No, don't stop,” she begged.

“I…”

“Please, tell me the truth, Sesshoumaru-sama. Just this once.” She sat up and threw her arms around him, her breast crushing against him. She nibbled on his ear and moaned. “Don't you desire me…need me? Can't you see that you…are doing this to me? The truth, tell me…”

“Rin. Please. Stop. I am too weak to fight you,” he admitted, much to his own astonishment.

“Don't fight it, Sesshoumaru. I am yours for the taking. Tell me…”

He roared against her ear. “I crave you. You are in me, around me, you haunt me. But I will not care for you this way! I will not cater to this weakness!”

She leaned back and stared into his eyes. Her fingertips brushed over his lips then moved down his neck placing her palm against his chest. “This, my love, is not your weakness. It is your power.” She touched his damaged arm. “This is not your strength.” She reached up and touched his temple. “This is not your courage.” Rin moved her hand back to his heart, which was thumping wildly beneath his skin. “It is all here. All that you crave and desire comes from your heart. If you deny this part of your heart, the part that wants me, you lose that power.”

“Rin.” Sesshoumaru stared into her eyes, using his hand to brush away her tears. She kissed his palm. She had a counter for every thing he said and did. She plunged into his chest, took his heart hostage, and was unwilling to relinquish it. He was broken. He could fight no longer. His body, his heart, and now his mind, ached for the creature in his arm. He pushed her down on the ground and pressed his weight against her, his erection rubbing between her thighs. He felt her warmth, heard her moan, and grumbled. He was weak; she drew so much out of him, forced him to feel so much when she was near. Her hands moved down his side, he held his breath as she teased the skin of his stomach. When her fingers went lower then inside his clothing, Sesshoumaru shut his eyes and grinded his teeth. “Rin, stop.”

It was too much, too soon, he hadn't fully recovered. She pushed his hakama down; he felt the cool air over his rigid aching organ and then her fingers. Sesshoumaru's eyes flashed, a deafening howl escaped his lips as he expelled his seed, then he gripped Rin's body and fell back to the ground groaning in discomfort.

“Sesshoumaru-sama!”

He drew her close and pressed her lips to her forehead. “Quiet, I've lost my strength. You are a formidable opponent, Rin. You have won, but let me rest.”

---------------------------

Bathed and dressed in a clean kimono, Rin sang happily on Ah-Un's back as he carried her to camp. She had replayed everything in her mind. His touch, his mouth, his body pressed against hers. Sensations she'd never experienced erupted through her body when she was with him. She'd fought him with her truth, her love, and her body. Was it enough to win his heart?

He was sleeping when she returned, Jaken still feasting on his dinner. She sat down beside her friend and offered him a smile. He nodded his head, finished his mouthful of mushroom, and drank his water.

“What's with you, now, Rin?”

“Rin is happy, Jaken-sama.” She smiled again and rested back on the grass to take in the view of the stars.

“You're not afraid of Sesshoumaru-sama sending you away…or not returning anymore?”

“It will always worry me some, but I think we'll all stay together.”

“Jaken.” Sesshoumaru's voice sliced the air.

The kappa jumped and ran to him. “Yes, my lord!”

“Tend to Ah-Un.”

Jaken scrambled to the beast, took up the reins, and vanished from her sight. She remained by the fire and nibbled on a mushroom. She could almost feel his stare. Her heart began to race. Relax, Rin, give him the time he needs. She sipped down some water then dipped her fingers in the cup and cooled her neck. Rin tended to the fire when it started to fade. She collected the dishes and wrapped the left over foods. An hour passed. She heard Ah-Un's heavy steps in the distance and stole a glance at Sesshoumaru but she couldn't see him in the darkness. He was still there; she could feel his presence.

They returned and Rin retrieved her bedding from the basket and set it down. Sesshoumaru still hadn't called for her but she was nervous to approach him. Once her blanket was ready, Rin laid down on her side facing the fire. She tucked her arms under her head and closed her eyes. The soft crackling of the fire soothed her. It had been a long few days and she was tired. Soon, she was asleep.

“Rin.”

She opened her eyes to see Sesshoumaru standing at her side. Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes trying to study his face. He revealed nothing. Slowly, she stood and fixed her kimono. “Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama?”

“Come,” he turned and she followed, moving up along his side. His gaze remained forward, his strides long and elegant. She kept up with him as he led her to a meadow of flowers. A smile spread across her lips as the early morning sunlight lifted the darkness from the field revealing hundreds of colors. “Pick your flowers, we leave soon.”

She dipped her head slightly and walked into the field. Rin picked a variety of types and colors, slowly and carefully choosing the finest flowers she could find. She almost felt the urge to run through the field, but she'd stopped that long ago, though she still liked to be among them. When her hand was full with a beautiful bouquet, she returned to Sesshoumaru noting his eyes were focused on her. She smiled at him and lifted the flowers for his approval. Instead, he gripped her wrist tightly and pulled her against him. The flowers fell from her fingers and she gasped. What had she done?

Sesshoumaru dipped his head and nuzzled her neck. She moaned and wrapped her arms around him; he followed in suit. She could feel him straining against double-layered cloth. A smile formed on her lips and she cooed in his ear. “Sesshoumaru.”

“You are more powerful than I could ever be,” he groaned against her cheek. “You have stripped me to the core with your love.” He clawed at her kimono, his mouth traveled down her neck to her collarbone. She moved her hands to his shoulders and pushed back softly. Rin stared into his eyes, her cheeks flushed, her lips moist and craving him. Her obi fluttered to the ground and the kimono parted.

She stepped to Sesshoumaru and undid his, forcing it off. His eyes devoured her; the intensity of his stair numbed her. He pulled at the cloth still covering her and she shrugged out of it. He tossed it on top of his then drew her against his body. She felt dizzy and breathless. His face was aglow in the sunlight; his hair shimmered with blinding beauty.

“Sesshoumaru,” she moaned, feeling him press against her stomach. He reached his hand behind her head, his fingers tangled in her hair. He lowered his head to her, his lips brushing softly. Her breath caught, she was immobile. Her head hung back her body weakening against him.

“Rin.” He trapped her lips between his, squeezing her body. The sensations flooding her body were indescribable. Her arms constricted around him, fingernails digging into his skin as she kissed him back. A groan erupted from his chest and he pulled her down to her knees. His mouth found her neck and he began licking again. His arm fell away and she landed softly on top of their clothes, the wild flowers a crown above her head. She looked into his eyes; his gaze incinerated her insides. His hand moved to her stomach then found her breast. He buried his face between them, licking, sucking, and tasting her skin.

His mouth latched onto her right nipple, his hand moved down her body and parted her legs. She cried and grabbed a handful of his hair. His finger slid down her folds as she'd done herself many, many times thinking of him. His teeth nipped at the underside of her breast then the trailed his tongue down her stomach. He penetrated her body with his finger, Rin squirmed then gasped when he stroked. He catered to every ache her body held. His mouth lowering slowly, her breath quickened with anticipation.

His tongue inflamed her body and replaced his finger. She panted his name, gripped his hair tighter with one hand the other clutching the cloth beneath her body. Her legs shook as his wet muscle delved inside her. Her shoulders came up from the ground, her eyes locked. The sight of him between her legs devouring her sent a tremor through her body. His tongue played until she thought the pleasure would stop her heart from beating. She screamed his name, his hand pushed her down and his tongue swirled around her center. It rose from her toes. Every muscle in her body contracted and paralyzed her. When he looked up into her eyes and pushed the tip of his tongue against it, her body exploded under him.

---------------------------

Her taste lingered on his lips. His bulge ached against her leg. The need to see her in such a state drove him wild. The pleasure he felt hearing her, seeing her, feeling her like this was unlike anything he'd ever known. Rin's eyes were closed, she was panting, her body jolting every so often, each one accompanied with a moan. Sesshoumaru was more than surprised when her hands found their way to his stomach. She pulled at his clothing. He smirked faintly and pressed a kiss to her shoulder as his hand expertly removed the barrier. Her fingers moved down his back and drew him close. He rested against her body feeling her continued wetness against his length. Rin nibbled on his neck, he licked her throat. Her hands moved around his hips and inward. His body lifted when her fingers curled around his girth. He clamped his jaw and stared into her eyes. She stroked him once; he closed his eyes, pushed his claw into the ground, and moaned. She had so much power over him. “Rin.”

Her lips found his, her body shifted under him, and then her hand released him. He could feel the heat of her void before him. He pushed against her, she cried and clutched his shoulders. Her knees bent up and squeezed his side and she sighed his name. He sank into her, her body shuddering as much as his. Her ribbed walls were tight, warm, and inviting. He filled her core and felt her tense. When he looked, there were tears in her eyes. “Breathe,” he whispered against her ear.

She shakily drew air and clutched him tight, the rest of her relaxing under his weight. He nuzzled her neck and trailed his mouth down to her breast taking it prisoner. Her walls squeezed, but this time she moaned and lifted her hips. Sesshoumaru began sliding himself in and out of her body, reeling from the sensations. He never had the need to be…gentle, but he would not hurt Rin. She started to move, he rocked with her. Rin cried and wrapped her legs around his back at the prompt of his hand. He moved faster. She clawed his back and started to push back against him. He growled and pulled her body against his rolling slightly on his left side.

Sesshoumaru pulled Rin's left leg up and pinned it to his waist as he plunged into her. Her fingers latched onto each shoulder, she gyrated her body against his and matched his pace, his hunger, his need. He licked her chin and felt her tighten further then she started to shake. Sesshoumaru groped her backside, slapping his body against her rapid and raw. Rin began moaning incoherently with sounds he'd never heard. Then she erupted, screamed, and begged him not to stop. The fury inside surged. Feeling her contract and pull him deeper into her—craving him, made Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands, whimper with pleasure.

He wrapped his arm around her back and pulled her up. More, he needed more. He crossed his legs under her backside and guided her body above him. She used his shoulders and her legs to lift and lower her body as he ascended from below. Her head was back, her eyes shut, and she was winded and mewling. He licked and nibbled her throat, feeling her tighten once more. He dipped his head to her breast and attacked it with his tongue. He wanted to feel her pleasure again before he found his release. “Rin.” He called against her skin then buried his face in her hair. She moved faster with his assistance, her walls throbbing around him. He pushed harder his own rush of explosions threatening to take him first. “Now,” he commanded and thrust against her body as his mouth covered her lips.

Her stifled cries of pleasure vibrated against his lips, she squeezed every part of him that had access. She jolted and bucked above him, breaking from his mouth and screamed toward the sky. His eyes flashed, went wide and he gripped her body, held it in place against him, and detonated inside of her. He roared and felt his body jerk with the last of his pleasure. He pulled Rin down as he fell to his back, his arm securely around her slender form. It took several long, enthralling moments to catch his breath. He twitched inside her, she moaned again. He held the powerful, caring, tempting woman in his arms and knew she had won. He knew he could not always tell her or show her what was inside him, but he knew his care for her went beyond anything he'd ever felt. If that was love, then he'd accept it.

Rin buried her face in his neck. “Sesshoumaru.” He met her eyes, his hand softly stroking her back. “Have you finally come to a decision?”

“Yes,” he replied, rolling sideways and gazing down into her eyes. He took her hand and pressed it to his heart. “It has been decided, and it is yours, Rin.”