InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Desperation ❯ Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

 

Hours later the kitchen was full of the smell of good food and the sound of laughter.

“Miroku you really are horrible,” Fawn wheezed. “Stop it. If I laugh any more I won't be able to walk in the morning.” She laid her head on the counter.

He and Sango had been telling about their many travels and he always found some way to make it funny.

“I'm glad I made it back for this,” Brook said as she set a bottle and large wine glass on the counter.

“I'm glad Fawn drug me out of my room,” Annie said with a shy smile.

Brook pulled the cork and filled the glass with the deep purple liquid.

“What's the occasion?” Miroku asked with a wave towards the bottle.

“None for you,” she said as her eyes glazed. “Three, two, one,” her eyes cleared just as the music from the gym stopped. She opened the fridge, pulled out a bottle of water, and set it next to the glass.

Seconds later Shadara appeared. Dressed in tank top and loose pants she was covered in a fine sheen of sweat. She was slightly short of breath; a few strands of her raven's wing hair had pulled loose of her braid and lay on her neck.

“Thank you Brook,” she said as she picked up the water. Swiftly she twisted off the cap and drained the bottle. “Is this the last of the Blackberry mead?”

“No,” the red head answered. “There is one more.”

“Set it aside I'll want it when I get back from that cursed trip I have to go on this week.” Shadara picked up the glass and emptied it as well. A second quickly followed. She corked the bottle and handed it to her friend. “I'll return in a bit. I'll be able to be pleasant company after a shower.” She gave everyone a wave and left the room again.

“Does she always drink like that?” Kagome asked quietly. Brook shook her head.

“No, most of the time she won't even touch soda. She's stressed big time again though. When she does it's usually more and it's only here. She never has any alcohol at home.”

“Home? I thought this was her home?” Kagome asked confused.

“No, this is a base so to speak. Home is far to the north deep in the Rockies.”

“So when she said she has a war to fight she really meant it.” Sango said.

“Yes,” Brook nodded. “Without her our people would be wiped out.”

“There's something I would like to know.” Miroku's voice was serious for the first time that evening.

“What's that?” Fawn asked him.

“Why does she hate herself so much?”

Brook drew in a deep breath in shock at his quiet words.

“She sees herself as a monster,” she answered.

“Why the fuck for?” Once again Inuyasha didn't like where this was going.

“Because her job, the whole reason she exists is to kill. She has to kill them before they can kill her people. She doesn't care that they're evil. They didn't start out that way. All she sees are creatures that God put here. And she has to kill them.

“Her entire life she's been called a freak, because of her eyes, because she can fight better than any man, and because she never backs down. And now most of the time her life is one big blood bath. She hates it and sometimes it gets the better of her.

“She needs some down time, she needs to go home, but right now she can't.” Brook stopped and glanced around the room, gauging their reactions to her words.

“Why not?” Inuyasha growled, hearing that Shadara had been called a freak and hated hit too close to home for him.

“Orders,” Fawn said, “she's been ordered by the Queen to attend a small community college till the end of the term. We don't know why. She won't tell us about it. Every time we ask her she just gives a sad smile and walks away or changes the subject. Today is the most we've heard her speak in over a month.”

“She was really mad at that lady.” Shippo said. He was sitting next to Kagome holding a glass of milk.

“She lashed out at her because she was afraid.” Brook said.

“She didn't smell of fear, she smelled pissed off.” Inuyasha commented.

“That's because she instantly converts her fear into rage. But I know her very well. She wouldn't have laid into the idiot like she did if Shippo hadn't been there.”

“What did he have to do with it?” Kagome asked. She pulled her child into her lap and hugged him. She was upset by Brooks' words.

“Because the first thing to go through her mind when she saw him was the thought of that nutcase horse hurting him,” Kagome gasped. “Yeah, there was no way in hell she would let that happen. So she lost it. There will be people permanently in wheelchairs before she would allow a child to be harmed.”

 

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Shadara stood, feet apart, her forehead against the wall, and her arms over her head, as the nearly scalding water poured over her back. She brought her rambling thoughts to a stop and reached out with her mind.

Starlight.

Little one, The deep mental voice soothed her.

They're here.

All of them?

Yes, the Wounded Dog, his mate, the Immortal Pair, the Fox Child, and even the Two Tailed Cat of Fire.

You sound unhappy.

Damn it! I wanted no one else sucked into this.

They are part of the prophecy there is nothing we can do.

Damn the prophecy! She yelled at her bonded. It took Mama and Daddy. It has included my friends. If it was just me I could handle it. But now it is pulling people across time and oceans to do its bidding.

You cannot do this on your own, little one. You know that.

She sunk to her knees.

I'm tired Starlight. Her breath shuttered. I'm tired of the blood, and the death. I'm tired of being a monster.

You are not a monster. You do as you must, that is all. And I know of no one as loving, loyal, and protective as you are. You are strong, brave, and unfailing in what you know is right. Those are not the qualities of a monster. You have a good heart.

Maybe you are right Starlight, maybe you are wrong. Only time will tell. Her tears mixed with the hot water.

Rage says that Brook is worried about you.

She always worries about me.

With good cause, he also says that Miroku is telling amusing stories and making everyone laugh.

I do not wish to laugh. It will make my bruised ribs hurt.

My mate says that if you don't get out of that shower, and join the others on your own, that she will make you.

Shadara gave a slight smile.

I shall go but not because you wish it of me. I promised the little boy I would talk with him. And I shall keep my word.

You always do, little one.

Are you ever going to stop calling me that? Her mental voice was a bit miffed.

I think not. Goodnight.

Goodnight. For now.

As she broke the connection she stood. It was another ten minutes before she left the hot water behind, her soul only slightly calmer.

 

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Miroku once again had everyone laughing when Shippo jumped down from his seat.

“Shadara!” He nearly squealed.

She stood just outside the kitchen, once again wearing a black shirt and pants, but over these she wore a light weight floor length emerald robe.

Shippo ran across the kitchen and launched himself into her arms. For the second time that day her silvery laugh was heard.

“Happy to see me,” she inquired giving the child a slight smile.

“Very,” he patted her cheek. “You said you would talk to me again.”

“And so I shall, little one, as soon as I have eaten.”

“Okay,” he jumped down, ran across the room, and scrambled back into his seat.

“Shippo,” Kagome scolded, “You shouldn't have jumped on her like that.” He hung his head a little.

“Don't be upset with him,” Shadara said. “He is a sweet child and I don't mind.”

“And we don't either,” Brook added. “He's made her laugh for the first time in months.”

“Twice,” Annie added.

“Kagome,” Shadara said. “If you would permit it, I have a gift for the child.”

Kagome looked from Shadara to her son. He gazed at her expectedly with hope filling his green eyes. She shifted her gaze back to the shifter.

“I think that would be alright.” She nodded and smiled.

“Oh, thank you Mama,” he jumped down as Shadara took her own seat. He quickly climbed into her lap.

“What is it?” He asked as he settled down.

“You shall see in a moment.” She smiled at him. “I must see something first.” She looked at him intently her eyes faintly glowing. They quickly settled on his chest. “That is why I couldn't see you properly.”

“What do you mean by that?” Inuyasha asked gruffly.

“I am a creature of magic, so I can sense it, and quickly tell what kind it is, and what it is meant for. Your earring is a language charm. Shippo has one as well. Yet he has another charm as well. At first I was unsure of its purpose. It didn't take me long to work it out though.” She pulled a small gold chain from her pocket. “This is so you can wear your language charm, but not hide.” She clipped the delicate chain around his wrist.

Then with a single slim finger she tugged the chain around his neck out of his shirt. She took the small round charm from the necklace and placed it on the bracelet.

“Can you still understand me, little one?” She asked gently. He nodded. “Good now let's see that tail of yours'. A fox shouldn't hide his tail.” She unhooked the chain Sesshoumaru had given him and pulled it away.

As soon as it left his skin his youkai features once more appeared. His tail, fangs, claws, pointed ears, and little fox feet. Shadara looked at him and nodded.

“Much better,” she smiled and handed the necklace to Kagome.

Brook, Fawn, and Annie stood staring at the child's changed appearance. Even though it was vastly changed and unusual it fit him perfectly. He gave them a slightly worried look.

“Very good,” from Brook.

“Much better,” Fawn smiled.

Annie just smiled and nodded.

Shippo gave a relived sigh and hugged Shadara.

“Thank you for the present.”

“You're welcome,” she hugged him back. “Go see your Mama for a bit okay. I have to eat before my little mother gets mad at me.” He jumped down again.

“Do you mind?” Brook asked indignantly. “Don't call me that.”

“But you do mother me,” Shadara lifted one slim elegant eyebrow at her friend.

“Only because you don't take care of yourself properly.” She said as she set a plate in front of Shadara.

“Even if I did you would still mother me.” She waved her fork at her friend. “I heard laughter earlier. What was so amusing?”

As Miroku launched into his story telling once again, Shadara was glad for the change of subject. Once dinner was over she would tell the little fox a story and then retire to her room.

She wished for nothing more at this moment than to be alone.

 

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It was after midnight, and Inuyasha stood in the upstairs guest suite gazing at his sleeping family. His mate held their sleeping pup in her arms. He had heard Shippo whimpering in his sleep in the adjoining room a short time ago. Worried about him he had retrieved the pup and put him with his mother.

Kagome, sound asleep, had pulled him into her arms and held him close.

Inuyasha leaned down and ran his clawed fingers through her hair.

“Inu- Inuyasha,” she muttered. “What's wrong?” She opened her sleep glazed eyes.

“Nothing. The runt had a nightmare. I brought him to you.”

“T-thanks,” her voice was slightly slurred. “Come back to bed.”

“I can't sleep. I'm going for a walk.”

“Kay, don't get lost.” She snuggled deeper into the blankets.

“I won't wench, get some sleep.” He kissed her forehead.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

It took him less than a minute to leave the room, get down the stairs, and out the front door.

He stood on the veranda scenting the air, trying to get a feel of what was out there. He caught a slight whiff of smoke from the right. It didn't smell like wood smoke. His curiosity getting the best of him he went to investigate.

He reached the end of the house and looked around the corner. Standing with her back to him, the screens pushed open, leaning against the rail, bottle of mead and wine glass at her elbow, and a lit cigarette in her right hand, was Shadara. She stood staring across the yard. She took a drag from the cigarette then exhaled the smoke through her nose.

“Hello Inuyasha.” Her silken voice was quiet.

“I'm down wind.” She shrugged at his statement.

“That means little. I felt you leave your room. Our power may be different but I can still feel you when you move. I was rather surprised at how powerful you are.”

“Why can't I feel yours?” He stepped closer.

“I keep mine chained.” She closed her eyes and the silver in her hair flashed.

He gripped the rail, digging his claws into the wood, as the wave of it washed over him.

“Fuck!”

She pulled it back in and gave a slight nod.

“You could put it that way.” She pulled on the cigarette again.

“Kagome said those things are bad for you.” He took a deep breath and leaned on the rail a few feet from her.

“Aye, they are. I rarely smoke.”

“How often?”

“Slightly more often than I drink.” She emptied the half full glass at her side.

“Why do either?”

“Stress, worry, concern, no matter what word you use for it, the fact is I'm fretting about something. How do you handle it when you're worried?” She asked as she poured another glass.

“I usually kill something.”

“What if that's not an option or doesn't work?” He blushed at her question.

“I-I h-hold Kagome.”

She nodded and took another drag.

“Your mate is a good woman. You are blessed to have each other.” She put her cigarette out and finished the glass of mead. Her hair, blacker then Kagome's, hid her face as she lowered her head.

They stood there silently for several minutes. Inuyasha felt he should say something. But he didn't know what. He didn't have to.

“What do you remember of your Mother, Inuyasha?” Shadara asked as she raised her head and looked at the sky.

A little shocked at her question he took a deep breath and thought.

“I remember the way she smelled, how when I was scared she would pull me into her arms and sing. And I remember how she cried when people called me `half-breed'.”

“How old were you when she died?”

“I was seven maybe eight.”

“I was twelve when my parents were killed. Their car was smashed by a tanker truck full of gasoline. There was nothing left of the car after the fire burned out.” She sighed. “I had nothing left to bury.”

“The morning I found out, I went to where they had buried her in the night.” He shook his head and clenched his hands. “Her smell was so faint. I had to fight to catch it. After a few days it faded and I left. I go and see her now and then.”

She looked thoughtful at his words.

“You're a good man Inuyasha,” she finished her drink. “We shall speak again later.” She put both hands on the rail.

“Where the hell are you going?”

Her eyes flashed as she looked at him.

“To explore the night with my bonded.”

She leapt the rail and disappeared into the darkness.